Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and I haven't gone to college so I'm not
a doctor.
AHH! I admit, I do like suggestions because it means people are getting into the story! And those apologizing and slightly getting mad at me about the last chapter's note WEREN'T AT FAULT (I think you know who you are.). But there were certain things said that made me write what I wrote and if you read the reviews I think you'll know what I mean. I'm incredibly lucky to have such kind and loyal readers, and I know my stuff is successful when people ask for more. Ooh, I feel like such a jackass...someone hug me... [Jeff Hardy pops out of nowhere and hugs her] Well, I didn't exactly mean you, Jeffy, but hey, a hug's a hug! [Steven Richards is ready to hug her] You get the hell away from me...
Before I continue with the story, I think I may have to up the rating due to language and stuff. Keep your eye out for changes, and maybe you should start viewing pages with the rating on 'all'.
[Kylrane has her legs propped up on top of her desk, and is rocking her chair back and forth. On the phone with her is one stubborn Monkey.]
Kylrane: What the hell do you mean, you quit?!
Monkey: You didn't get thrown into a closet in the dark for three hours, ok?! That Heyman guy was fucking scary!
Kylrane: I overestimated you. Monkey's really just a chicken. Come on, it was just a guy that talks too damn loud, how intimidating is he?!
Monkey: He had the big hairy guy with him. The big hairy guy said if I didn't cooperate, we'd have to get better acquainted.
Kylrane: You mean the Big Show?
Monkey: No. The one they call A-Train. Should be the Ape.
Kylrane: [shudders] Ooh, I feel almost sorry for you. Almost being the key word.
Monkey: Well, I don't want your sympathy. I'm quitting and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
Kylrane: But what about today's appointments?! I need to have someone here to bring in the patients.
Monkey: That's your problem. [hangs up]
Kylrane: [furious] DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!! [slams phone] Shit! What am I supposed to do now?! [checks laptop schedule] Oh NO!! The client is coming in ten minutes!! Who am I going to get to help me out...oh no oh no oh no....
Rei: [pops out from nowhere] What happened? Did you delete the essay due next week??
Kylrane: [eyes bulge out] THERE'S AN ESSAY DUE NEXT WEEK?!?!?!
Rei: [grins] Psyche! [Kylrane is fuming] Hey, hey, hey, I came to try and help! You need someone at the desk today, right? [Kylrane nods] How about me and Haxor handle it today, and next time you hire some wrestler guy to do this?
Kylrane: Like who?
Rei: Like that girl who manages that guy...the one with the gimmick about Testicles.
Kylrane: You mean Stacy Keibler?
Rei: Yeah, get her.
Kylrane: Ten bucks says if I have a client like Edge, she'll start dropping things so she can bend over in front of him.
Rei: Well, damnit, you know these people better than I do!
Kylrane: Just get Haxor over here, and later I'll find a permanent butler monkey.
Rei: Monkey was your butler?
Kyrlane: I wish. Anyway, get down to the desk! And if the guy from the Scorpion King comes in, bring him up immediately!!
Rei: [scratches head] You mean Peter Facinelli?
Kylrane: NO! THE ROCK, STUPID!!!!
Rei: OHH!! [grins at Kylrane] I really thought you meant Peter Facinelli. [sees Kylrane is angry and runs down the stairs]
Kylrane: [rubs forhead] Where's Jeff Hardy? I need another hug. [Steven Richards comes again] Not you, damnit!!! [Steven Richards scoots away] Maybe I'll make Jeff my butler monkey, I can get hugs on demand! [holds up a mirror] I am a good psychiatrist. I am a good psychiatrist. I am a good psychiatrist. [Jeff comes and hugs her] That's more like it!
[The speaker on Kylrane's desk crackles]
Speaker: Yo, Kyl, what the hell is this?!
Kylrane: Yo, Haxor, don't call me Kyl. What do you mean by 'this'?
Speaker: Why do me and Rei have to do Monkey's job?
Kylrane: Rei volunteered you.
Speaker: (Haxor) REI! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?! (Rei) I dunno.
Kylrane: [sighs] I don't want to make Jeff keep running back and forth, but I need another hug. Not from you either, Haxor. [Edge comes and hugs Kylrane. He then hands her a bill.] TWENTY BUCKS A HUG?! WHAT THE HELL?!
Edge: Hey, I'm in demand!
Kyrlane: Jeff doesn't charge.
Edge: Jeff's not in demand like me.
Kylrane: That's not very nice. [hands him a twenty] Now go away before you find some other way to charge me. [Edge goes away]
Speaker: (Rei) You're very popular. What's with all the hugs?
Kylrane: They're like skittles. They calm me down and make me feel special.
Speaker: (Haxor) I wanna feel special. Hug me, Rei. (Rei) Not in front of clients, damnit!! [speaker shuts off]
[Kylrane panics and starts to scarf down some skittles. Haxor leads the next patient into the room.]
Haxor: Dude, I touched someone worth a lot of money. [holds up his fingers] Wow...
The Rock: [takes off his sunglasses and stares at Haxor] You get your candy ass outta my sight, you sick freak!
[Haxor is hurt but scoots out of the office.]
Kylrane: That wasn't very nice. Sure, Haxor's a weirdo, but...
The Rock: Shut your mouth! The Rock doesn't need to know what you think!
Kylrane: [glares] Well you're the first outright asshole I've had to treat!!
The Rock: The Rock is NOT an asshole! The Rock ought to take his boot, shine it up real nice, and stick it straight up your-
Kylrane: [points to the economy sized skittles bag] I'll do the same to you except I'll use that instead of the boot!! Now sit down and shut the hell up until I tell you to talk!!
Chris Jericho: [pops in] That's my catchphrase, damnit!!
The Rock: Stop trying to upstage The Rock, you wanna be rock star!! Get the hell out!
Chris Jericho: Say that to my face, and you will NEVER EEEEEVVVVVVVEEEEEERRRRR be the same AGAIN!
Kylrane: [rolls eyes] Ooh, look a battle of the old catchphrases. Words are stabbing me, and look! I'm melting, mellttttiiiinnnggg........
Chris Jericho: WHAT?! You DARE mock the KING OF THE WORLD?!
Austin: WHAT?!
Kylrane: DAMNIT! [presses button on speaker] Can I get some freakin' security up here?!
[Big Random Guys 1, 2, and 3 come and drag Jericho and Austin out of the office]
Kylrane: Finally! [turns to The Rock] Sit down like I said.
The Rock: The Rock does not take orders from some shrimpy little kid!! [sits down anyway]
Kyrlane: [sits at a chair opposite the red recliner and opens up her laptop] Now, I see you've got a third person complex.
The Rock: What in the blue hell do you mean, a third person complex?
Kylrane: When a normal-
The Rock: [cuts in] IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT MEANS!! The Rock is perfect! There is NOTHING WRONG with The Rock!
Kylrane: Ok then...what is your name?
The Rock: The Rock's name is The Rock, jabroni!!!!
Kylrane: See what you've just said right there? 'The Rock's name'. Who are you?
The Rock: [thinks Kylrane is stupid] The Rock!
Kylrane: Then who is The Rock?
The Rock: [opens his mouth, then shuts it] Mmmm....The Rock.
Kylrane: That's what the third person complex is. You can't refer to yourself as yourself. You were ready to say "Me" but you answered "The Rock".
The Rock: The Rock does not understand this load of bull crap.
Kylrane: Ok, pretend your name is Bob, and I've just heard of Bob from a friend. If I say to you "Who is Bob?" what would you say?
The Rock:...I am Bob?
Kylrane: EXACTLY! Now why can't you say "I am The Rock"?
The Rock: Because I'm Bob?
Kylrane: ARGHH! [bangs head on desk] You're not Bob anymore! You're...uh...what was your birthname?
The Rock: The Rock will not tell you his birthname.
anime princess: [pops out a closet that's obviously being used as a storage area for more skittles] HIS NAME IS DWAYNE DOUGLOS JOHNSON!!!!! [closes the closet door]
Kylrane: [surprised] Thank you....
The Rock: THAT IS NOT THE ROCK'S NAME!!!
Kylrane: Then whose name is that?
The Rock: ....T.T [confused] That's....The Rock's name BEFORE he was The Rock!
Kylrane: Ok. Repeat after me. "I Am Dwayne."
The Rock: Ok...ahh...ahh..aeeehh...eehhh...[attempts are failing] ehh...ehheee...eeeeye...I..!! I said I!!!
Kylrane: [annoyed] Complete the rest of the damn sentence, and you're free to go. You've given me such an awful headache...
The Rock: Ok. I...AM.....DAMNIT! THE ROCK IS THE ROCK!!!
Kylrane: DWAYNE DOUGLOS JOHNSON, you are not The Rock!!
The Rock: Ask my millions and....[waits for the fans]
anime princess and lol: AND MILLIONS!!!
Kylrane: Actually, that's only two.
The Rock: Damnit! The Rock doesn't have TIME for this crap!! Know your role, you short little jabroni, The Rock's a big movie star that's gotta beat up a guy that could be your grandpa!! The Rock is outta here!! [The Rock gets up and stomps out of the office.]
Kylrane: At least he's out of here. [Goes into the closet to find a whole bunch of fans in there.] GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SKITTLES!!!!! [The fans run out of the closet and go back downstairs.]
[Suddenly Paul Heyman bursts through the doors]
Heyman: AUUUGGGHHHH!!!! [hides behind the desk]
Kylrane: [kicks Heyman] What the fuck are you doing here?! I thought I gave you to the Undertaker!!!
Heyman: Shutup and hide me!! That man is insane!! He'll kill me! I'm sure when you sent me to him all you meant was for me to gain fear of you!
Kylrane: Actually, I just wanted you off my hands. Whatever the Undertaker wants to do with you is fine with me.
[There's a huge bang sound. Where the door one was is now a hole in the shape of the Undertaker.]
Taker: [is carrying the cute little doggie that was in the first box on February 20th's Smackdown] You've got to get bigger doors, kid.
Kylrane: Hey, it's not my fault you're so damn tall. [points to Heyman] Take him, PLEASE!!
Taker: [grabs Heyman by the collar] I ain't done with you yet, bitch. We gotta tie you to the back of the motorcycle and drag you around town.
Heyman: [whimpers] You don't REALLY want to put another human being through that kind of stuff, do you?
Taker: [pauses] No, I don't. Then again, you ain't no human being!! [kicks Heyman and stuffs him into a large sack] By the way, kid, how the hell did you know where I live?!
Kylrane: I have connections.
Taker: Don't ever come to my house.
Kylrane: Ok.
Taker: Oh yeah, here. [hands Kylrane the doggie] Take this, I can't have a dog in one arm and this bag of shit in the other. [His theme music magically cues and he walks out of the office. At the bottom of the staircase, he raises his fist up and there are cheap pops everywhere.]
Kylrane: [amazed] That's a REALLY big hole. [looks at where the door once was] I think that's equivalent to two and a half me's.
[Rei and Haxor come up to examine the damage]
Rei: Damn.
Haxor: Double damn. Well, looks like our job here is done.
Kylrane: Huh?
Haxor: You said at the beginning that we'd just handle the front desk for today.
Kylrane: No, Rei said that. But I guess I can't make you stay...I'll figure out who I can con into being my secretary... [locks herself in the closet of skittles]
Ok...that's the end of that chapter. Hope it was ok. I had anime princess and lol in that chapter because I saw that they requested The Rock in the story. I'd planned to attack his third person gimmick when I started the fic, but I didn't really know how to treat it...so I did the chapter that way. Sorry if it was weird. Review please!!! Reviews make me happy!!! And if you can't tell, I like hugs. :P
AHH! I admit, I do like suggestions because it means people are getting into the story! And those apologizing and slightly getting mad at me about the last chapter's note WEREN'T AT FAULT (I think you know who you are.). But there were certain things said that made me write what I wrote and if you read the reviews I think you'll know what I mean. I'm incredibly lucky to have such kind and loyal readers, and I know my stuff is successful when people ask for more. Ooh, I feel like such a jackass...someone hug me... [Jeff Hardy pops out of nowhere and hugs her] Well, I didn't exactly mean you, Jeffy, but hey, a hug's a hug! [Steven Richards is ready to hug her] You get the hell away from me...
Before I continue with the story, I think I may have to up the rating due to language and stuff. Keep your eye out for changes, and maybe you should start viewing pages with the rating on 'all'.
[Kylrane has her legs propped up on top of her desk, and is rocking her chair back and forth. On the phone with her is one stubborn Monkey.]
Kylrane: What the hell do you mean, you quit?!
Monkey: You didn't get thrown into a closet in the dark for three hours, ok?! That Heyman guy was fucking scary!
Kylrane: I overestimated you. Monkey's really just a chicken. Come on, it was just a guy that talks too damn loud, how intimidating is he?!
Monkey: He had the big hairy guy with him. The big hairy guy said if I didn't cooperate, we'd have to get better acquainted.
Kylrane: You mean the Big Show?
Monkey: No. The one they call A-Train. Should be the Ape.
Kylrane: [shudders] Ooh, I feel almost sorry for you. Almost being the key word.
Monkey: Well, I don't want your sympathy. I'm quitting and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
Kylrane: But what about today's appointments?! I need to have someone here to bring in the patients.
Monkey: That's your problem. [hangs up]
Kylrane: [furious] DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!! [slams phone] Shit! What am I supposed to do now?! [checks laptop schedule] Oh NO!! The client is coming in ten minutes!! Who am I going to get to help me out...oh no oh no oh no....
Rei: [pops out from nowhere] What happened? Did you delete the essay due next week??
Kylrane: [eyes bulge out] THERE'S AN ESSAY DUE NEXT WEEK?!?!?!
Rei: [grins] Psyche! [Kylrane is fuming] Hey, hey, hey, I came to try and help! You need someone at the desk today, right? [Kylrane nods] How about me and Haxor handle it today, and next time you hire some wrestler guy to do this?
Kylrane: Like who?
Rei: Like that girl who manages that guy...the one with the gimmick about Testicles.
Kylrane: You mean Stacy Keibler?
Rei: Yeah, get her.
Kylrane: Ten bucks says if I have a client like Edge, she'll start dropping things so she can bend over in front of him.
Rei: Well, damnit, you know these people better than I do!
Kylrane: Just get Haxor over here, and later I'll find a permanent butler monkey.
Rei: Monkey was your butler?
Kyrlane: I wish. Anyway, get down to the desk! And if the guy from the Scorpion King comes in, bring him up immediately!!
Rei: [scratches head] You mean Peter Facinelli?
Kylrane: NO! THE ROCK, STUPID!!!!
Rei: OHH!! [grins at Kylrane] I really thought you meant Peter Facinelli. [sees Kylrane is angry and runs down the stairs]
Kylrane: [rubs forhead] Where's Jeff Hardy? I need another hug. [Steven Richards comes again] Not you, damnit!!! [Steven Richards scoots away] Maybe I'll make Jeff my butler monkey, I can get hugs on demand! [holds up a mirror] I am a good psychiatrist. I am a good psychiatrist. I am a good psychiatrist. [Jeff comes and hugs her] That's more like it!
[The speaker on Kylrane's desk crackles]
Speaker: Yo, Kyl, what the hell is this?!
Kylrane: Yo, Haxor, don't call me Kyl. What do you mean by 'this'?
Speaker: Why do me and Rei have to do Monkey's job?
Kylrane: Rei volunteered you.
Speaker: (Haxor) REI! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?! (Rei) I dunno.
Kylrane: [sighs] I don't want to make Jeff keep running back and forth, but I need another hug. Not from you either, Haxor. [Edge comes and hugs Kylrane. He then hands her a bill.] TWENTY BUCKS A HUG?! WHAT THE HELL?!
Edge: Hey, I'm in demand!
Kyrlane: Jeff doesn't charge.
Edge: Jeff's not in demand like me.
Kylrane: That's not very nice. [hands him a twenty] Now go away before you find some other way to charge me. [Edge goes away]
Speaker: (Rei) You're very popular. What's with all the hugs?
Kylrane: They're like skittles. They calm me down and make me feel special.
Speaker: (Haxor) I wanna feel special. Hug me, Rei. (Rei) Not in front of clients, damnit!! [speaker shuts off]
[Kylrane panics and starts to scarf down some skittles. Haxor leads the next patient into the room.]
Haxor: Dude, I touched someone worth a lot of money. [holds up his fingers] Wow...
The Rock: [takes off his sunglasses and stares at Haxor] You get your candy ass outta my sight, you sick freak!
[Haxor is hurt but scoots out of the office.]
Kylrane: That wasn't very nice. Sure, Haxor's a weirdo, but...
The Rock: Shut your mouth! The Rock doesn't need to know what you think!
Kylrane: [glares] Well you're the first outright asshole I've had to treat!!
The Rock: The Rock is NOT an asshole! The Rock ought to take his boot, shine it up real nice, and stick it straight up your-
Kylrane: [points to the economy sized skittles bag] I'll do the same to you except I'll use that instead of the boot!! Now sit down and shut the hell up until I tell you to talk!!
Chris Jericho: [pops in] That's my catchphrase, damnit!!
The Rock: Stop trying to upstage The Rock, you wanna be rock star!! Get the hell out!
Chris Jericho: Say that to my face, and you will NEVER EEEEEVVVVVVVEEEEEERRRRR be the same AGAIN!
Kylrane: [rolls eyes] Ooh, look a battle of the old catchphrases. Words are stabbing me, and look! I'm melting, mellttttiiiinnnggg........
Chris Jericho: WHAT?! You DARE mock the KING OF THE WORLD?!
Austin: WHAT?!
Kylrane: DAMNIT! [presses button on speaker] Can I get some freakin' security up here?!
[Big Random Guys 1, 2, and 3 come and drag Jericho and Austin out of the office]
Kylrane: Finally! [turns to The Rock] Sit down like I said.
The Rock: The Rock does not take orders from some shrimpy little kid!! [sits down anyway]
Kyrlane: [sits at a chair opposite the red recliner and opens up her laptop] Now, I see you've got a third person complex.
The Rock: What in the blue hell do you mean, a third person complex?
Kylrane: When a normal-
The Rock: [cuts in] IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT MEANS!! The Rock is perfect! There is NOTHING WRONG with The Rock!
Kylrane: Ok then...what is your name?
The Rock: The Rock's name is The Rock, jabroni!!!!
Kylrane: See what you've just said right there? 'The Rock's name'. Who are you?
The Rock: [thinks Kylrane is stupid] The Rock!
Kylrane: Then who is The Rock?
The Rock: [opens his mouth, then shuts it] Mmmm....The Rock.
Kylrane: That's what the third person complex is. You can't refer to yourself as yourself. You were ready to say "Me" but you answered "The Rock".
The Rock: The Rock does not understand this load of bull crap.
Kylrane: Ok, pretend your name is Bob, and I've just heard of Bob from a friend. If I say to you "Who is Bob?" what would you say?
The Rock:...I am Bob?
Kylrane: EXACTLY! Now why can't you say "I am The Rock"?
The Rock: Because I'm Bob?
Kylrane: ARGHH! [bangs head on desk] You're not Bob anymore! You're...uh...what was your birthname?
The Rock: The Rock will not tell you his birthname.
anime princess: [pops out a closet that's obviously being used as a storage area for more skittles] HIS NAME IS DWAYNE DOUGLOS JOHNSON!!!!! [closes the closet door]
Kylrane: [surprised] Thank you....
The Rock: THAT IS NOT THE ROCK'S NAME!!!
Kylrane: Then whose name is that?
The Rock: ....T.T [confused] That's....The Rock's name BEFORE he was The Rock!
Kylrane: Ok. Repeat after me. "I Am Dwayne."
The Rock: Ok...ahh...ahh..aeeehh...eehhh...[attempts are failing] ehh...ehheee...eeeeye...I..!! I said I!!!
Kylrane: [annoyed] Complete the rest of the damn sentence, and you're free to go. You've given me such an awful headache...
The Rock: Ok. I...AM.....DAMNIT! THE ROCK IS THE ROCK!!!
Kylrane: DWAYNE DOUGLOS JOHNSON, you are not The Rock!!
The Rock: Ask my millions and....[waits for the fans]
anime princess and lol: AND MILLIONS!!!
Kylrane: Actually, that's only two.
The Rock: Damnit! The Rock doesn't have TIME for this crap!! Know your role, you short little jabroni, The Rock's a big movie star that's gotta beat up a guy that could be your grandpa!! The Rock is outta here!! [The Rock gets up and stomps out of the office.]
Kylrane: At least he's out of here. [Goes into the closet to find a whole bunch of fans in there.] GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SKITTLES!!!!! [The fans run out of the closet and go back downstairs.]
[Suddenly Paul Heyman bursts through the doors]
Heyman: AUUUGGGHHHH!!!! [hides behind the desk]
Kylrane: [kicks Heyman] What the fuck are you doing here?! I thought I gave you to the Undertaker!!!
Heyman: Shutup and hide me!! That man is insane!! He'll kill me! I'm sure when you sent me to him all you meant was for me to gain fear of you!
Kylrane: Actually, I just wanted you off my hands. Whatever the Undertaker wants to do with you is fine with me.
[There's a huge bang sound. Where the door one was is now a hole in the shape of the Undertaker.]
Taker: [is carrying the cute little doggie that was in the first box on February 20th's Smackdown] You've got to get bigger doors, kid.
Kylrane: Hey, it's not my fault you're so damn tall. [points to Heyman] Take him, PLEASE!!
Taker: [grabs Heyman by the collar] I ain't done with you yet, bitch. We gotta tie you to the back of the motorcycle and drag you around town.
Heyman: [whimpers] You don't REALLY want to put another human being through that kind of stuff, do you?
Taker: [pauses] No, I don't. Then again, you ain't no human being!! [kicks Heyman and stuffs him into a large sack] By the way, kid, how the hell did you know where I live?!
Kylrane: I have connections.
Taker: Don't ever come to my house.
Kylrane: Ok.
Taker: Oh yeah, here. [hands Kylrane the doggie] Take this, I can't have a dog in one arm and this bag of shit in the other. [His theme music magically cues and he walks out of the office. At the bottom of the staircase, he raises his fist up and there are cheap pops everywhere.]
Kylrane: [amazed] That's a REALLY big hole. [looks at where the door once was] I think that's equivalent to two and a half me's.
[Rei and Haxor come up to examine the damage]
Rei: Damn.
Haxor: Double damn. Well, looks like our job here is done.
Kylrane: Huh?
Haxor: You said at the beginning that we'd just handle the front desk for today.
Kylrane: No, Rei said that. But I guess I can't make you stay...I'll figure out who I can con into being my secretary... [locks herself in the closet of skittles]
Ok...that's the end of that chapter. Hope it was ok. I had anime princess and lol in that chapter because I saw that they requested The Rock in the story. I'd planned to attack his third person gimmick when I started the fic, but I didn't really know how to treat it...so I did the chapter that way. Sorry if it was weird. Review please!!! Reviews make me happy!!! And if you can't tell, I like hugs. :P