Disclaimer: Do I have to keep putting these disclaimers in? I REALLY don't
wanna get sued, but do I look like I'd be owning the WWE?? *confused blinky
face* See? I'm no owner! Oh yeah, I'm no doctor either!!
Did you people see Smackdown (February 27)? You know that Brian Kendrick guy, the dude who ran around naked wearing Nike Shox? *feeling stupid* I think he's cute...AHH!! *falls down* What the hell?! Oh, that was my split personality speaking, the one who's a fangirl. Pay no mind to her. Ahem. Onto the story...
[Kylrane is rocking her chair back and forth, petting the little puppy the Undertaker gave her last chapter. She seems calm.]
Kylrane: You like your neck scratched, don't you??
Shannon Moore: Yeah I like my neck scratched! [comes over]
Kylrane: [stares at him] I was talking to Ender, not you Shannon. Go on doing your work.
Shannon: Yes, ma'am. [Goes to the front desk. Yes, Shannon Moore is now Kylrane's secretary. Hey, she's less controlling than Matt Hardy!]
Kylrane: [shakes her head] Y'know, Ender, I'm rethinking my choice in employment, that Shannon seems a little...
Shannon: You called, ma'am?? [brings her a cappucino]
Kylrane: DAMN!! What the hell did Matt do to you?!
Shannon: In private, I used to wear shirts that said 'I'm Matt's Bitch'.
[Mourning Viper pops out]
Mourning Viper: [hugs Shannon] EVIL MATT HARDY! EVIL!! [starts to drag him away]
Kylrane: HEY! Give him back! I have a client coming in, damnit!! [pulls a magic leash that appears out of nowhere and is attached to Shannon's wrist] Why do fans keep appearing out of nowhere?! [Shannon falls on his back, Mourning Viper runs away] Shannon, get up and see who's coming today!!
Shannon: Can I have a hug?
Kylrane: [ogles] Why??
Shannon: Matt used to give me hugs.
Kylrane: [shrugs] Ok. I like hugs. [hugs Shannon] Now go get to the appointment book!!
Shannon: [salutes] YES MA'AM! [runs off]
[Kylrane continues to rock her chair back and forth and pet her puppy, Ender. Have you read the novel Ender's Game ? It's really good! Ender WILL save us all! Anways, Shannon hurries back up to the office.]
Shannon: [breathless] It's Stephanie McMahon!!
Kylrane: ALRIGHT! Stephanie's so cool!!
Shannon: And she's hot!! [gets kicked by Kyrlane] OW!!
Kylrane: You will NOT be hitting on my clients, Shannon.
Shannon: I know. She's my boss anyway.
Kylrane: I'm your boss now.
Shannon: But I'm still Matt's bitch, right?
Kylrane: [shakes head] No, Shannon. [sighs] Can you go make a pot of coffee to serve for Stephanie?
Shannon: Already brewing, Ma'am.
Kylrane: Stop calling me Ma'am.
Shannon: Yes, Ma'--er, what do I call you then?
Kylrane: Kyrlane. Not Kyl, not Rane, Kylrane.
Shannon: How about Ranie?
Kylrane: WHY?!
Shannon: I used to call Matt Matty.
Kylrane: You have issues. You REALLY have issues.
Shannon: [shrugs] But you'll still love me, right Ranie? [sad puppy dog face]
Kylrane: [glares] Only one person can do that to me effectively, Shannon. That isn't you. [Ender perks up] Not you either, boy. [Ender whimpers]
Shannon: Oh yeah? Who?
Kylrane: It doesn't matter.
Shannon: I swear by my stringy oily hair that I will find out the answer to that at the end of the chapter. Can I have a hint?
Kylrane: [shrugs] It ain't Edge. That's all I'm saying.
Shannon: [points to Edge poster not very well hidden behind the giant skittles bag] Really? I thought you were into him.
Kylrane: Not me. The other me.
Shannon: HUH??
[Stephanie McMahon bursts into the office. Shannon drools.]
Stephanie: Wipe your chin, Shannon. [hands him a handkerchief]
Shannon: [wipes chin] O_O Wow... [gets bonked on the head by a foam baseball bat]
Kylrane: [puts away baseball bat] Can't seem to find my damn aluminum one...[to Stephanie] You may sit over there. [motions to seat] Shannon, stay here before you staple yourself or something...don't touch anything.
Shannon: Ok. Ranie. [sucks thumb]
Kylrane: Now Stephanie...you've got a really warped relationship family- wise.
Stephanie: You could say that...but then again, growing up in the spotlight takes a toll on you. So what if I've got a dysfuntional family? Don't your parents have fidelity problems, or haven't you ever tried to take over your father's business?
Kylrane: [stares] .... No. [snacks on some skittles] If my parents ever did have those issues, I think I would have found out, I'm good at eavesdropping. And as for the business thing...insurance is MAD BORING!! Why do you feel like you have to outdo everyone in your family??
Stephanie: I'm a McMahon, damnit!
Shannon: Wow you sound like Vince! [holds on to Kylrane's arm since Stephanie looks scary]
Stephanie: THAT'S MR. MCMAHON TO YOU, VERMIN!!!
Shannon: EEEEKKKK!! Save me!!! [cowers]
Kylrane: WHOA....Stephanie, calm down, calm down! [pulls away from Shannon] Damnit, grow up you wuss!!! Go downstairs to the desk!! Go!! [points out the door]
Shannon: [sad] You don't love me?
Kylrane: I DON'T LOVE YOU!! GO DOWNSTAIRS!!! [a dejected Shannon walks out the door] Where were we? [looks at her notes on the computer] Oh yeah, what does being a McMahon have to do with trying to surpass everyone's achievements? Don't you think what you've done is good enough?
Stephanie: Kid, when you're a McMahon, nothing's ever good enough. You've always gotta be better than anyone else. If I want to be at the top of the wrestling business, I've got to do whatever it takes to control as much of the WWE as I can while I'm young. And from now on, I'd prefer to achieve that without having to marry into more power.
Triple H: [pops in] Yeah, she wants the sex without the burdens of commitment!!
Stephanie: [she grows fangs and her nails become pointed] YOU SON OF A BITCH!!
Kylrane: [restrains Stephanie] SHANNON!!! TAKE HIM OUT OF HERE!!!
[Shannon runs into the office and tackles Triple H. He then gets thrown across the room by Trips.]
Shannon: [crawls over to Kylrane] He's SCARY Ranie!! I can't do it!! [shakes]
Kylrane: [struggling to hold on to Stephanie, who's found an envelope opener and is ready to stab Trips] Do SOMETHING, Shannon!! You're not just the front desk person, you're security, coffee maker, janitor, and other stuff!! [Stephanie breaks free of her hold] AUGHH!
Stephanie: [jumps on Triple H] DIE!! [begins to claw at his face]
Kylrane: DAMNIT STOP!!!!! I REFUSE TO GET SUED BECAUSE OF THIS!!! DAMNIT!!!! [takes off her shoe and throws it at Stephanie and Triple H] LISTEN TO ME YOU IMBUCILES!! [everyone stops] TRIPLE H, GET OUT!!! [random big guys 1 and 2 come and drag Triple H out of the building] STEPHANIE, GO TAKE SOME ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES!! [Kylrane's voice is beginning to squeak] I CAN'T HANDLE A PSYCHOTIC WITCH!!! [Stephanie glares, but spots random guys 3 and 4 ready to remove her, so she leaves. Kylrane's voice is raspy now.] SHANNON MOORE!! [Shannon looks up frightened.] YOU WUSS, YOU IDIOT, YOU MORON...
Shannon: You're going to give me the Twist of Fate, aren't you? [gets teary]
Kylrane: [opens her mouth] ... [nothing comes out] ... [Kylrane lost her voice] ... [So she goes to her laptop, clicks on a soundfile, and plays it to Shannon]
Vince: YOU'RE FIRED!!!
Shannon: [whimpers] I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!! I'll do anything!! [gets on his hands and knees]
[Kylrane plays the soundclip]
Vince: YOU'RE FIRED!!!
[Shannon leaves, all teary. Kylrane, still voiceless, writes something on a piece of paper. Hey, in fic land, everyone knows what you're writing, even if they're not there.]
Kylrane: [on paper] DAMNIT!!!
OK, that was a little off, I know, but that was the best I could offer right now. Sorry about the Shannon bashing, I think it's funny that Shannon is pretty much Matt's bitch. So I made him my bitch for the day. Mourning Viper got in there 'cause she REALLY wanted Shannon in the fic (I checked the reviews, so don't get mad if you wanted him too...). Also, I like Stephanie McMahon, but you've got to admit, when she's furious, she can be REALLY SCARY!! Remember the time she was renewing her vows with Triple H? Did you see the look on her face when he was walking up the ramp? Oooh, she looked like she was gonna bite his head off!! *shudder* Anyway, review people!!
Oh wait. Go back to the beginning. Something was left unsolved. Mwahahaha! I am totally awesome, Shannon, you will NEVER EVER find out who can perform the puppy dog face effectively on me!! I'll copy it over...
Shannon: [shrugs] But you'll still love me, right Ranie? [sad puppy dog face]
Kylrane: [glares] Only one person can do that to me effectively, Shannon. That isn't you. [Ender perks up] Not you either, boy. [Ender whimpers]
Shannon: Oh yeah? Who?
Kylrane: It doesn't matter.
Shannon: I swear by my stringy oily hair that I will find out the answer to that at the end of the chapter. Can I have a hint?
Kylrane: [shrugs] It ain't Edge. That's all I'm saying.
Hahahaha! He never found out who can effectively do that to me!! BECAUSE I AM THE ALMIGHTY KYLRANE AND I HAVE NO WEAKNESSES!!! MWAHAHAHAHAH!!! [does dance] Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!
[Jeff Hardy walks in]
Jeff: Can I have your giant skittles bag?
Kyrlane: NO! [hugs the skittles]
Jeff: [sad puppy dog face] PWEASE?
Kylrane: OK! [Jeff takes the bag] Take whatever you want!! [big silly grin]
Shannon: [pops out of nowhere] I KNEW IT!! [waves tape recorder and plays back the 'take whatever you want']
Kyrlane: DAMNIT!!!! [chases after Shannon] PREPARE TO DIE!!!
Yup. I'm a sucker for Jeff Hardy. And this time, both personalities agree. Damnit, there goes my skittles bag, gotta go back to the store! Review please!! [Jeff does the sad puppy dog face] See, you can't resist that!! REVIEW!!!
Did you people see Smackdown (February 27)? You know that Brian Kendrick guy, the dude who ran around naked wearing Nike Shox? *feeling stupid* I think he's cute...AHH!! *falls down* What the hell?! Oh, that was my split personality speaking, the one who's a fangirl. Pay no mind to her. Ahem. Onto the story...
[Kylrane is rocking her chair back and forth, petting the little puppy the Undertaker gave her last chapter. She seems calm.]
Kylrane: You like your neck scratched, don't you??
Shannon Moore: Yeah I like my neck scratched! [comes over]
Kylrane: [stares at him] I was talking to Ender, not you Shannon. Go on doing your work.
Shannon: Yes, ma'am. [Goes to the front desk. Yes, Shannon Moore is now Kylrane's secretary. Hey, she's less controlling than Matt Hardy!]
Kylrane: [shakes her head] Y'know, Ender, I'm rethinking my choice in employment, that Shannon seems a little...
Shannon: You called, ma'am?? [brings her a cappucino]
Kylrane: DAMN!! What the hell did Matt do to you?!
Shannon: In private, I used to wear shirts that said 'I'm Matt's Bitch'.
[Mourning Viper pops out]
Mourning Viper: [hugs Shannon] EVIL MATT HARDY! EVIL!! [starts to drag him away]
Kylrane: HEY! Give him back! I have a client coming in, damnit!! [pulls a magic leash that appears out of nowhere and is attached to Shannon's wrist] Why do fans keep appearing out of nowhere?! [Shannon falls on his back, Mourning Viper runs away] Shannon, get up and see who's coming today!!
Shannon: Can I have a hug?
Kylrane: [ogles] Why??
Shannon: Matt used to give me hugs.
Kylrane: [shrugs] Ok. I like hugs. [hugs Shannon] Now go get to the appointment book!!
Shannon: [salutes] YES MA'AM! [runs off]
[Kylrane continues to rock her chair back and forth and pet her puppy, Ender. Have you read the novel Ender's Game ? It's really good! Ender WILL save us all! Anways, Shannon hurries back up to the office.]
Shannon: [breathless] It's Stephanie McMahon!!
Kylrane: ALRIGHT! Stephanie's so cool!!
Shannon: And she's hot!! [gets kicked by Kyrlane] OW!!
Kylrane: You will NOT be hitting on my clients, Shannon.
Shannon: I know. She's my boss anyway.
Kylrane: I'm your boss now.
Shannon: But I'm still Matt's bitch, right?
Kylrane: [shakes head] No, Shannon. [sighs] Can you go make a pot of coffee to serve for Stephanie?
Shannon: Already brewing, Ma'am.
Kylrane: Stop calling me Ma'am.
Shannon: Yes, Ma'--er, what do I call you then?
Kylrane: Kyrlane. Not Kyl, not Rane, Kylrane.
Shannon: How about Ranie?
Kylrane: WHY?!
Shannon: I used to call Matt Matty.
Kylrane: You have issues. You REALLY have issues.
Shannon: [shrugs] But you'll still love me, right Ranie? [sad puppy dog face]
Kylrane: [glares] Only one person can do that to me effectively, Shannon. That isn't you. [Ender perks up] Not you either, boy. [Ender whimpers]
Shannon: Oh yeah? Who?
Kylrane: It doesn't matter.
Shannon: I swear by my stringy oily hair that I will find out the answer to that at the end of the chapter. Can I have a hint?
Kylrane: [shrugs] It ain't Edge. That's all I'm saying.
Shannon: [points to Edge poster not very well hidden behind the giant skittles bag] Really? I thought you were into him.
Kylrane: Not me. The other me.
Shannon: HUH??
[Stephanie McMahon bursts into the office. Shannon drools.]
Stephanie: Wipe your chin, Shannon. [hands him a handkerchief]
Shannon: [wipes chin] O_O Wow... [gets bonked on the head by a foam baseball bat]
Kylrane: [puts away baseball bat] Can't seem to find my damn aluminum one...[to Stephanie] You may sit over there. [motions to seat] Shannon, stay here before you staple yourself or something...don't touch anything.
Shannon: Ok. Ranie. [sucks thumb]
Kylrane: Now Stephanie...you've got a really warped relationship family- wise.
Stephanie: You could say that...but then again, growing up in the spotlight takes a toll on you. So what if I've got a dysfuntional family? Don't your parents have fidelity problems, or haven't you ever tried to take over your father's business?
Kylrane: [stares] .... No. [snacks on some skittles] If my parents ever did have those issues, I think I would have found out, I'm good at eavesdropping. And as for the business thing...insurance is MAD BORING!! Why do you feel like you have to outdo everyone in your family??
Stephanie: I'm a McMahon, damnit!
Shannon: Wow you sound like Vince! [holds on to Kylrane's arm since Stephanie looks scary]
Stephanie: THAT'S MR. MCMAHON TO YOU, VERMIN!!!
Shannon: EEEEKKKK!! Save me!!! [cowers]
Kylrane: WHOA....Stephanie, calm down, calm down! [pulls away from Shannon] Damnit, grow up you wuss!!! Go downstairs to the desk!! Go!! [points out the door]
Shannon: [sad] You don't love me?
Kylrane: I DON'T LOVE YOU!! GO DOWNSTAIRS!!! [a dejected Shannon walks out the door] Where were we? [looks at her notes on the computer] Oh yeah, what does being a McMahon have to do with trying to surpass everyone's achievements? Don't you think what you've done is good enough?
Stephanie: Kid, when you're a McMahon, nothing's ever good enough. You've always gotta be better than anyone else. If I want to be at the top of the wrestling business, I've got to do whatever it takes to control as much of the WWE as I can while I'm young. And from now on, I'd prefer to achieve that without having to marry into more power.
Triple H: [pops in] Yeah, she wants the sex without the burdens of commitment!!
Stephanie: [she grows fangs and her nails become pointed] YOU SON OF A BITCH!!
Kylrane: [restrains Stephanie] SHANNON!!! TAKE HIM OUT OF HERE!!!
[Shannon runs into the office and tackles Triple H. He then gets thrown across the room by Trips.]
Shannon: [crawls over to Kylrane] He's SCARY Ranie!! I can't do it!! [shakes]
Kylrane: [struggling to hold on to Stephanie, who's found an envelope opener and is ready to stab Trips] Do SOMETHING, Shannon!! You're not just the front desk person, you're security, coffee maker, janitor, and other stuff!! [Stephanie breaks free of her hold] AUGHH!
Stephanie: [jumps on Triple H] DIE!! [begins to claw at his face]
Kylrane: DAMNIT STOP!!!!! I REFUSE TO GET SUED BECAUSE OF THIS!!! DAMNIT!!!! [takes off her shoe and throws it at Stephanie and Triple H] LISTEN TO ME YOU IMBUCILES!! [everyone stops] TRIPLE H, GET OUT!!! [random big guys 1 and 2 come and drag Triple H out of the building] STEPHANIE, GO TAKE SOME ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES!! [Kylrane's voice is beginning to squeak] I CAN'T HANDLE A PSYCHOTIC WITCH!!! [Stephanie glares, but spots random guys 3 and 4 ready to remove her, so she leaves. Kylrane's voice is raspy now.] SHANNON MOORE!! [Shannon looks up frightened.] YOU WUSS, YOU IDIOT, YOU MORON...
Shannon: You're going to give me the Twist of Fate, aren't you? [gets teary]
Kylrane: [opens her mouth] ... [nothing comes out] ... [Kylrane lost her voice] ... [So she goes to her laptop, clicks on a soundfile, and plays it to Shannon]
Vince: YOU'RE FIRED!!!
Shannon: [whimpers] I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!! I'll do anything!! [gets on his hands and knees]
[Kylrane plays the soundclip]
Vince: YOU'RE FIRED!!!
[Shannon leaves, all teary. Kylrane, still voiceless, writes something on a piece of paper. Hey, in fic land, everyone knows what you're writing, even if they're not there.]
Kylrane: [on paper] DAMNIT!!!
OK, that was a little off, I know, but that was the best I could offer right now. Sorry about the Shannon bashing, I think it's funny that Shannon is pretty much Matt's bitch. So I made him my bitch for the day. Mourning Viper got in there 'cause she REALLY wanted Shannon in the fic (I checked the reviews, so don't get mad if you wanted him too...). Also, I like Stephanie McMahon, but you've got to admit, when she's furious, she can be REALLY SCARY!! Remember the time she was renewing her vows with Triple H? Did you see the look on her face when he was walking up the ramp? Oooh, she looked like she was gonna bite his head off!! *shudder* Anyway, review people!!
Oh wait. Go back to the beginning. Something was left unsolved. Mwahahaha! I am totally awesome, Shannon, you will NEVER EVER find out who can perform the puppy dog face effectively on me!! I'll copy it over...
Shannon: [shrugs] But you'll still love me, right Ranie? [sad puppy dog face]
Kylrane: [glares] Only one person can do that to me effectively, Shannon. That isn't you. [Ender perks up] Not you either, boy. [Ender whimpers]
Shannon: Oh yeah? Who?
Kylrane: It doesn't matter.
Shannon: I swear by my stringy oily hair that I will find out the answer to that at the end of the chapter. Can I have a hint?
Kylrane: [shrugs] It ain't Edge. That's all I'm saying.
Hahahaha! He never found out who can effectively do that to me!! BECAUSE I AM THE ALMIGHTY KYLRANE AND I HAVE NO WEAKNESSES!!! MWAHAHAHAHAH!!! [does dance] Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!
[Jeff Hardy walks in]
Jeff: Can I have your giant skittles bag?
Kyrlane: NO! [hugs the skittles]
Jeff: [sad puppy dog face] PWEASE?
Kylrane: OK! [Jeff takes the bag] Take whatever you want!! [big silly grin]
Shannon: [pops out of nowhere] I KNEW IT!! [waves tape recorder and plays back the 'take whatever you want']
Kyrlane: DAMNIT!!!! [chases after Shannon] PREPARE TO DIE!!!
Yup. I'm a sucker for Jeff Hardy. And this time, both personalities agree. Damnit, there goes my skittles bag, gotta go back to the store! Review please!! [Jeff does the sad puppy dog face] See, you can't resist that!! REVIEW!!!