Disclaimer: I just hate writing these disclaimers. When will I ever turn
into Vince McMahon, huh??
Hello people!! [waves] Um, this is Angie, Kylrane's fangirly side speaking! I don't consider myself her split personality, I'm more the result of years of repressed...girlyness. Meaning she's always the serious sensible one when her friends swoon over a hot guy. Like my Edge. [hugs Edge plushie] Anyway, she told me to do the intro for this chapter because her Romeo and Juliet paper is due Tuesday (Mar. 11) and she can't seem to find her copy of the play! So she's officially freaking out. (Kylrane: DAMNIT! Why does this shit HAPPEN to me?! [throws over a chair looking for the stupid book] I KNEW I should have looked in my desk at school, but NOO, Haxor HAD to keep asking me about the immigration essay!!!!) Yup, she's going nuts looking for that book. Her friend Romeo reminded her about it yesterday, and now she's screwed. Enjoy the chapter!!
Ok, it's March 14, and I ended up getting an A+ on my paper (WHOO!), but I'm uploading this chapter again because for some reason the language was listed as Spanish when this is obviously written in English. Thank you aZrAeL for bringing that to my attention, I did not realize that until I checked it out. Also, if you leave a question in your reviews or there's something I find funny, I might answer you back through the review system. So check the reviews on this story sometimes, there may be messages from me!!
[Kylrane, sitting at her desk with her laptop in front of her and Ender the puppy on her lap, is typing furiously to her friend, Romeo. They're on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger). She's Kylrane, and he's DeadSexyPimpDaddy. That is similar to his actual AIM name, but I didn't want to give it out over the internet. He's been a little egotistical since being voted "Best Smile" and "Best Personality"...]
DeadSexyPimpDaddy: im telling u go on sparknotes.com
Kylrane: What's sparknotes going to tell me?! It'll give me a summary that's useless to the topic I'm writing about!! Besides, going to a cheat note site is very unethical of me.
DeadSexyPimpDaddy: would u stop usin big words wit me
Kylrane: No. Unethical means it goes against my beliefs. No one should have to cheat to get a good grade.
DeadSexyPimpDaddy: i do
Kylrane: I have to go do my paper. I'll see you later.
[Kylrane closes the IM window, only to recieve another message from someone else.]
LittleSouthernBlonde123: may I please have my job back
Kylrane: Who are you?!?!
LittleSouthernBlonde123: shannon
Kyrlane: HOW DID YOU GET MY .... forget it.
[She closes that IM window and signs off from the internet. There's a bang on the door.]
Kylrane: [looks up] Come in!!
[Shannon Moore rushes in with flowers and candy.]
Shannon: PLEASE, I BEG YOU, I WANT MY JOB BACK!!!
Kylrane: [stares at the gifts] What's with....?
Shannon: [offers them to her] Your friend...the tall boy with spiky hair....he said you're easily bribed if flowers and chocolate are in the equation. [grins]
Kylrane: [frowns, and types in the computer: Memo to self- Haxor must die.] Well, I guess he was right. I am a sucker for those things. But you did a crappy job last time, why should I hire you again?
Shannon: Because I'm irresistibly cute?? [does sad puppy dog face]
Kylrane: Didn't you learn the last time you were here that your version does NOT work on me?! [goes back to typing her Romeo and Juliet paper]
Shannon: [gets on his knees and begins to grovel] PLEASE! PLEASE!! It's so much BETTER being your bitch!! Matt's so mean!! He makes me do all sorts of stupid stuff like combing his hair and picking out his ugly pants and cutting his toenails...
Kylrane: [disgusted] The guy can't cut his own toenails?!
Shannon: [whimpers] He can't. You're so merciful, please....
Kylrane: [sighs] This would be one of those moments when Monkey would say...
Monkey: [pops in] Why do you have to be so nice?!
Shannon: Shutup! Nice people are good!!
Monkey: [starts dancing] Yo quiero-
Kylrane: [throws some chocolate out the door] Go get it and STAY OUT! [Monkey runs. Kylrane turns to Shannon] Well, I guess you could prove yourself today, mainly because I couldn't get a replacement, but if you screw up...
Shannon: [hugs Kylrane] THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I promise I won't screw up!! Who's your next client, Ranie??
Kylrane: [brushes off Shannon's embrace and shudders] Never hug me again, Shannon. Unless you suddenly turn into...nevermind, just don't hug me. Only if I ask, and that'll be a long shot. [looks at her appointment book in her computer] YAY! The Hurricane is my client!! I love Shane Helms, he's the coolest!
Shannon: [jealous] What makes him so cool??
Kylrane: He got braces!!
Panda: [Her author name is DazedPanda, if you want to know! She's a really good friend of mine who introduced me to fanfiction.net awhile ago!] BRACES UNITED!!! YEAHH!!! [puts a Braces United sticker on the wall and runs away]
Kylrane: Yup! [grins] I'm a member of that group. [looks to Shannon] Please get me a cappucino, Shannon.
Shannon: [salutes] Ok, Ranie! [runs downstairs]
[Kylrane is whistling while writing her Romeo and Juliet paper. Yes, people getting braces makes her feel so much better. To her right (or left, it doesn't really matter, I think), the closet door bursts open. Kylrane shrieks.]
Kylrane: You freakin expect me to shriek? I only do that when- [The person who popped out of the closet grabs Kylrane by the neck and holds orange hair dye over her head.] Now I will shriek. YAHHHHH!!!!
Shannon: [runs in with a cappucino] Ranie, what's- AUGHHH!!!! [Matt Hardy has taken Kylrane captive!!] I'm not your bitch anymore, Matt, leave Ranie alone!!
Matt Hardy: No, Shannon, not until you come back to join my cult!!! [does the Version 1 sign] Or else, she gets it...[begins to tip the cup of hair dye]
Kylrane: YAHHH!! GET THE FUCK AWAY YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!! [punches Matt]
Matt: You little twerp!!! You need a Mattitude adjustment!! [pours the dye over her head] Now you'll know what its like to be labeled as 'tacky'!! [Oh, if you have orange hair, I'm not saying you're tacky. But someone like me would look like a clown without the facepaint if I dyed my hair neon orange.]
Shannon: NOOO!!! [tackles Matt and wrestles with him on the ground]
[The Hurricane rushes into the room.]
Hurricane: [sees Kylrane] What is wrong, citizen?
Kylrane: [whimper whimper] M-my-my h-h-hai-hair....[she touches her hair and her hand turns orange] WAHHH!!!!
Hurricane: [Looks at Shannon and Matt rolling around on the floor....that sounded a little too slashy for this fic, didn't it? Not that I hate slash, I think everyone deserves artistic freedom, but I'd like to keep this OUT of the romance category...] Which dastardly villain did this to you?
Kylrane: [whimper whimper] The one with ugly pants...[gets up and runs to the bathroom and sticks her head in a sink]
Hurricane: ....Ok....
Shannon: Take this, you asshole!! [kicks Matt and gives him a noogie] This is for all the times you hugged me after a match!! [gives Matt a Twist of Fate]
Matt: Remember, you're still my bitch!!! [gets kicked in the balls] Ok, maybe not! [his voice has turned soprano]
Hurricane: Damn.
Shannon: Is Ranie OK?
Hurricane: She's extremely hysterical.
Panda: [pops in] She's vain when it comes to her hair.
Kylrane: [comes in with a towel over her head] Don't look at me.
Panda: C'mon, it can't be that bad!! [lifts towel a little] AIYEEE!! [drops the towel back on Kylrane's head] Sorry.
Hurricane: Can we still have the session?
Kylrane: Sure. Sit there. [obviously grumpy] Shannon, dispose of that sick bastard Matt Hardy, please....
Panda: You don't even want to torture him? Wow, you're losing your touch!!
Kylrane: [glares] Fine, go use his hair to experiment which color you should streak yours next. Go nuts.
Panda: YAY!! [lugs Matt Hardy away] Let's see, should I go blonde again, or maybe the red....
Shannon: Want your cappucino?
Kylrane: ....[bursts into tears] I WANT MY HAIR BACK!!!!!! [sobs]
Shannon: I guess not... [goes downstairs]
Hurricane: [puts on a pair of glasses over his mask] Is your hair the most important thing to you? Why is your hair such a source of vanity?
Kylrane: [looks up and scowls] You ain't the damn doctor, so shut your mouth!!
Hurricane: That's not a very nice answer, citizen Kylr- [sees Kylrane is fuming] Ok, you do the doctoring.
Kylrane: [holds up an inkblot] Yup, I brought 'em back! What's this one look like?
Hurricane: A beam coming out of the Green Lantern's ring!
Kylrane: [turns the card over and looks at it] Really?? Ok...how about this one??
Hurricane: Hm...Flash Gordon running.
Kylrane: [looks at the card] ....
Hurricane: He's a blur.
Kylrane: [rolls her eyes and puts the cards away] Why are you so obsessed with these comic book heros??
Hurricane: 'CAUSE THEY RULE!!! OH YEAH! Especially the Green Lantern.
Kylrane: Aren't you a little too old for those things?!
Hurricane: NO! Why does everyone want you to grow up so fast?? Wassupwitdat?! [poses]
Kylrane: And why do you think you're a superhero? You do realize they don't exist.
Hurricane: A non-believer! Quite ironic, considering you have great potential to be a crime fighting sidekick!
Kylrane: [raises eyebrow] Sidekick? If I ever DO get that faraway from reality, I would NOT play second fiddle to some green haired dude who doesn't even have cool powers or gadgets.
Hurricane: What! I-
Austin: What?! DAMNIT, YOU TOOK MY CATCHPHRASE!! WHAT?!
Kylrane: Didn't I have you taken away the last time you popped in on a 'what'?
Austin: What? I said I don't have to listen to you, munchkin, what?
Kylrane: [sighs] Always have people popping in and out of here...[presses the speaker button] Shannon, please have Austin taken away, the 'What's are giving me a headache...
[Austin is lured out of the office by a cooler chock full of beer]
Hurricane: Before I was so RUDELY [poses] interupted, I DO TOO have cool powers. [poses] I can [poses] fly!! [wooshes out of the window...and a thump is heard] Owwww....
Kylrane: I thought he would attempt something like that...[looks out window] Good thing I put those safety mats out there. [The Hurricane is lying on a big blue mat like the ones they use in Hollywood]
That's the end of that chapter. Now I have to go write up some more stuff. Please review, please please please, I'll love you all forever!! Whoops, I forgot about Ender the puppy during to whole chapter...I've got to leave him at home while I'm on the job... ^_^
Hello people!! [waves] Um, this is Angie, Kylrane's fangirly side speaking! I don't consider myself her split personality, I'm more the result of years of repressed...girlyness. Meaning she's always the serious sensible one when her friends swoon over a hot guy. Like my Edge. [hugs Edge plushie] Anyway, she told me to do the intro for this chapter because her Romeo and Juliet paper is due Tuesday (Mar. 11) and she can't seem to find her copy of the play! So she's officially freaking out. (Kylrane: DAMNIT! Why does this shit HAPPEN to me?! [throws over a chair looking for the stupid book] I KNEW I should have looked in my desk at school, but NOO, Haxor HAD to keep asking me about the immigration essay!!!!) Yup, she's going nuts looking for that book. Her friend Romeo reminded her about it yesterday, and now she's screwed. Enjoy the chapter!!
Ok, it's March 14, and I ended up getting an A+ on my paper (WHOO!), but I'm uploading this chapter again because for some reason the language was listed as Spanish when this is obviously written in English. Thank you aZrAeL for bringing that to my attention, I did not realize that until I checked it out. Also, if you leave a question in your reviews or there's something I find funny, I might answer you back through the review system. So check the reviews on this story sometimes, there may be messages from me!!
[Kylrane, sitting at her desk with her laptop in front of her and Ender the puppy on her lap, is typing furiously to her friend, Romeo. They're on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger). She's Kylrane, and he's DeadSexyPimpDaddy. That is similar to his actual AIM name, but I didn't want to give it out over the internet. He's been a little egotistical since being voted "Best Smile" and "Best Personality"...]
DeadSexyPimpDaddy: im telling u go on sparknotes.com
Kylrane: What's sparknotes going to tell me?! It'll give me a summary that's useless to the topic I'm writing about!! Besides, going to a cheat note site is very unethical of me.
DeadSexyPimpDaddy: would u stop usin big words wit me
Kylrane: No. Unethical means it goes against my beliefs. No one should have to cheat to get a good grade.
DeadSexyPimpDaddy: i do
Kylrane: I have to go do my paper. I'll see you later.
[Kylrane closes the IM window, only to recieve another message from someone else.]
LittleSouthernBlonde123: may I please have my job back
Kylrane: Who are you?!?!
LittleSouthernBlonde123: shannon
Kyrlane: HOW DID YOU GET MY .... forget it.
[She closes that IM window and signs off from the internet. There's a bang on the door.]
Kylrane: [looks up] Come in!!
[Shannon Moore rushes in with flowers and candy.]
Shannon: PLEASE, I BEG YOU, I WANT MY JOB BACK!!!
Kylrane: [stares at the gifts] What's with....?
Shannon: [offers them to her] Your friend...the tall boy with spiky hair....he said you're easily bribed if flowers and chocolate are in the equation. [grins]
Kylrane: [frowns, and types in the computer: Memo to self- Haxor must die.] Well, I guess he was right. I am a sucker for those things. But you did a crappy job last time, why should I hire you again?
Shannon: Because I'm irresistibly cute?? [does sad puppy dog face]
Kylrane: Didn't you learn the last time you were here that your version does NOT work on me?! [goes back to typing her Romeo and Juliet paper]
Shannon: [gets on his knees and begins to grovel] PLEASE! PLEASE!! It's so much BETTER being your bitch!! Matt's so mean!! He makes me do all sorts of stupid stuff like combing his hair and picking out his ugly pants and cutting his toenails...
Kylrane: [disgusted] The guy can't cut his own toenails?!
Shannon: [whimpers] He can't. You're so merciful, please....
Kylrane: [sighs] This would be one of those moments when Monkey would say...
Monkey: [pops in] Why do you have to be so nice?!
Shannon: Shutup! Nice people are good!!
Monkey: [starts dancing] Yo quiero-
Kylrane: [throws some chocolate out the door] Go get it and STAY OUT! [Monkey runs. Kylrane turns to Shannon] Well, I guess you could prove yourself today, mainly because I couldn't get a replacement, but if you screw up...
Shannon: [hugs Kylrane] THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I promise I won't screw up!! Who's your next client, Ranie??
Kylrane: [brushes off Shannon's embrace and shudders] Never hug me again, Shannon. Unless you suddenly turn into...nevermind, just don't hug me. Only if I ask, and that'll be a long shot. [looks at her appointment book in her computer] YAY! The Hurricane is my client!! I love Shane Helms, he's the coolest!
Shannon: [jealous] What makes him so cool??
Kylrane: He got braces!!
Panda: [Her author name is DazedPanda, if you want to know! She's a really good friend of mine who introduced me to fanfiction.net awhile ago!] BRACES UNITED!!! YEAHH!!! [puts a Braces United sticker on the wall and runs away]
Kylrane: Yup! [grins] I'm a member of that group. [looks to Shannon] Please get me a cappucino, Shannon.
Shannon: [salutes] Ok, Ranie! [runs downstairs]
[Kylrane is whistling while writing her Romeo and Juliet paper. Yes, people getting braces makes her feel so much better. To her right (or left, it doesn't really matter, I think), the closet door bursts open. Kylrane shrieks.]
Kylrane: You freakin expect me to shriek? I only do that when- [The person who popped out of the closet grabs Kylrane by the neck and holds orange hair dye over her head.] Now I will shriek. YAHHHHH!!!!
Shannon: [runs in with a cappucino] Ranie, what's- AUGHHH!!!! [Matt Hardy has taken Kylrane captive!!] I'm not your bitch anymore, Matt, leave Ranie alone!!
Matt Hardy: No, Shannon, not until you come back to join my cult!!! [does the Version 1 sign] Or else, she gets it...[begins to tip the cup of hair dye]
Kylrane: YAHHH!! GET THE FUCK AWAY YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!! [punches Matt]
Matt: You little twerp!!! You need a Mattitude adjustment!! [pours the dye over her head] Now you'll know what its like to be labeled as 'tacky'!! [Oh, if you have orange hair, I'm not saying you're tacky. But someone like me would look like a clown without the facepaint if I dyed my hair neon orange.]
Shannon: NOOO!!! [tackles Matt and wrestles with him on the ground]
[The Hurricane rushes into the room.]
Hurricane: [sees Kylrane] What is wrong, citizen?
Kylrane: [whimper whimper] M-my-my h-h-hai-hair....[she touches her hair and her hand turns orange] WAHHH!!!!
Hurricane: [Looks at Shannon and Matt rolling around on the floor....that sounded a little too slashy for this fic, didn't it? Not that I hate slash, I think everyone deserves artistic freedom, but I'd like to keep this OUT of the romance category...] Which dastardly villain did this to you?
Kylrane: [whimper whimper] The one with ugly pants...[gets up and runs to the bathroom and sticks her head in a sink]
Hurricane: ....Ok....
Shannon: Take this, you asshole!! [kicks Matt and gives him a noogie] This is for all the times you hugged me after a match!! [gives Matt a Twist of Fate]
Matt: Remember, you're still my bitch!!! [gets kicked in the balls] Ok, maybe not! [his voice has turned soprano]
Hurricane: Damn.
Shannon: Is Ranie OK?
Hurricane: She's extremely hysterical.
Panda: [pops in] She's vain when it comes to her hair.
Kylrane: [comes in with a towel over her head] Don't look at me.
Panda: C'mon, it can't be that bad!! [lifts towel a little] AIYEEE!! [drops the towel back on Kylrane's head] Sorry.
Hurricane: Can we still have the session?
Kylrane: Sure. Sit there. [obviously grumpy] Shannon, dispose of that sick bastard Matt Hardy, please....
Panda: You don't even want to torture him? Wow, you're losing your touch!!
Kylrane: [glares] Fine, go use his hair to experiment which color you should streak yours next. Go nuts.
Panda: YAY!! [lugs Matt Hardy away] Let's see, should I go blonde again, or maybe the red....
Shannon: Want your cappucino?
Kylrane: ....[bursts into tears] I WANT MY HAIR BACK!!!!!! [sobs]
Shannon: I guess not... [goes downstairs]
Hurricane: [puts on a pair of glasses over his mask] Is your hair the most important thing to you? Why is your hair such a source of vanity?
Kylrane: [looks up and scowls] You ain't the damn doctor, so shut your mouth!!
Hurricane: That's not a very nice answer, citizen Kylr- [sees Kylrane is fuming] Ok, you do the doctoring.
Kylrane: [holds up an inkblot] Yup, I brought 'em back! What's this one look like?
Hurricane: A beam coming out of the Green Lantern's ring!
Kylrane: [turns the card over and looks at it] Really?? Ok...how about this one??
Hurricane: Hm...Flash Gordon running.
Kylrane: [looks at the card] ....
Hurricane: He's a blur.
Kylrane: [rolls her eyes and puts the cards away] Why are you so obsessed with these comic book heros??
Hurricane: 'CAUSE THEY RULE!!! OH YEAH! Especially the Green Lantern.
Kylrane: Aren't you a little too old for those things?!
Hurricane: NO! Why does everyone want you to grow up so fast?? Wassupwitdat?! [poses]
Kylrane: And why do you think you're a superhero? You do realize they don't exist.
Hurricane: A non-believer! Quite ironic, considering you have great potential to be a crime fighting sidekick!
Kylrane: [raises eyebrow] Sidekick? If I ever DO get that faraway from reality, I would NOT play second fiddle to some green haired dude who doesn't even have cool powers or gadgets.
Hurricane: What! I-
Austin: What?! DAMNIT, YOU TOOK MY CATCHPHRASE!! WHAT?!
Kylrane: Didn't I have you taken away the last time you popped in on a 'what'?
Austin: What? I said I don't have to listen to you, munchkin, what?
Kylrane: [sighs] Always have people popping in and out of here...[presses the speaker button] Shannon, please have Austin taken away, the 'What's are giving me a headache...
[Austin is lured out of the office by a cooler chock full of beer]
Hurricane: Before I was so RUDELY [poses] interupted, I DO TOO have cool powers. [poses] I can [poses] fly!! [wooshes out of the window...and a thump is heard] Owwww....
Kylrane: I thought he would attempt something like that...[looks out window] Good thing I put those safety mats out there. [The Hurricane is lying on a big blue mat like the ones they use in Hollywood]
That's the end of that chapter. Now I have to go write up some more stuff. Please review, please please please, I'll love you all forever!! Whoops, I forgot about Ender the puppy during to whole chapter...I've got to leave him at home while I'm on the job... ^_^