Disclaimer: *sigh* Vince hasn't been answering any of my calls. Damnit, no matter how much I do to try and bribe him, I still don't own the WWE. Not even a little percentage. [shakes fist] I'll get you soon enough, McMahon, wait and see!! And um...I don't own any authors mentioned in the fic....well, except for myself. So let's begin, shall we?

Heya dudes. Oh no I'm sounding like RVD...anyway, here's the next chappie, hope you guys enjoy it! Sorry for the delay in updating....couldn't really write this chapter. It was a little difficult.

Did anyone see that "World Update" or whatever the hell that promo was titled on April 7th's Raw? ALMIGHTY GOD...I have seen a piece of heaven and damn is it fine! I'm talking about Rene Dupree (the guy on the right). I think they showed another promo on Smackdown as well, but I missed the first part of Smackdown due to stupid me not changing the computer clock after Daylight Savings Time. DAMNIT!! I read the results via the internet anyway...damn Torrie Wilson, she's not good enough to team with Spanky (Brian Kendrick)!!! When the fuck is he going to get up his gimmick?! And a little reminder to everyone...someone's birthday is on April 27!! [waves a sign that says 'That would be me!']

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[Kylrane and her freshly hired assistant, Azrael, are sitting in the office having a break (as if they do any REAL work...LOL). Azrael has a coke can (not the drug!) in her hand while Kylrane is taking sips from a mug of tea (yeah I like tea in MUGS not cups). Spanky is sitting on the floor with a face that says "I feel unloved".]

Spanky: I feel unloved. [to Kylrane] I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT ANOTHER ASSISTANT!!

Kylrane: [frowns] I need an assistant who's COMPETENT, Spanky.

Azrael: [smiles] Yup. That would be me. [sees Spanky's fallen face] Come on, Spanky, you're already on the Smackdown roster "officially", why do you want an extra job? [sips coke]

Spanky: [thinks] Because....[his face brightens] Because I enjoy working for such a sweet and charming psychiatrist!

Kylrane: Aww....see, you would've got me there, but Stephanie McMahon got flowers and I didn't, so shut the shit.

Spanky: [sad] If I hug you...

Azrael: I'll gladly hug you, Spanky. [hugs Spanky] By the way, why the need to suck up to the boss? You still have a job here.

Spanky: I do??

Kylrane: [sighs] You're a slow drunk, aren't you? [Spanky looks sad again]

Azrael: She didn't mean that...ok, she did, and she does have a point, but look on the bright side of things - you still have your job here, and that's what you really want.

Kylrane: Yeah, unlike someone else I know...

[Shannon Moore bursts into the room, sees Spanky, and begins to cry.]

Shannon: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT ANOTHER ASSISTANT!!!

Azrael: Isn't that the exact same thing that Spanky said beforehand?

Kylrane: Yeah. [sips tea] Oh wait, Shannon said it with more passion, hence the extra exclamation point.

Azrael: Ah, yes, I see.

Shannon: [sad face] I thought you loved me, Ranie.

Spanky: [sticks out his tongue] Not only did I whup your Mattitude loving ass, Kylrane loves ME now. So there.

Azrael: When did they become so juvenile while fighting over you? And to add to that, why are these two fighting over YOU?

Kylrane: [grins] I'm a hot commodity! Everyone wants me!

Azrael: [frowns] Now you're beginning to sound like that egomaniac Jericho.

[Chris Jericho proceeds to pop out of the closet. What the hell?! Now it's WRESTLERS hiding in my storage closet?!]

Jericho: I heard that, Israel, I am NOT an egomaniac. How can you say that the HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT has a big ego?! It's not bragging if you can back it up, junior. And I can DEFINITELY back it up! Look at me! I'm sexy, I'm smart, I'm who ALL the ladies want....

Kylrane: Can't we get some security in here?! I don't need Mr. 'I-wear-hideously-ugly-clothing-and-look-like-a-goat-with-my-beard' up in my workplace!! Damnit! Do I go to Raw and interrupt you in the middle of one of your promos?! NO!

Jericho: And even if you did, I'd whup your ass.

Kylrane: Would not.

Jericho: Would too.

Kylrane: Would not.

Jericho: Would too.

Kylrane: Would not!

Jericho: Would -

Azrael: SHUTUP!! [whacks Jericho over the head with a steel chair] I've always wanted to do that.

Kylrane: Whack him over the head with a steel chair?

Azrael: No, telling him to shut up. Of course whacking him over the head with a steel chair!!

Shannon and Spanky: ......

Shannon: Before we were so RUDELY interrupted...

Spanky: You suck Shannon.

Shannon: I do not!

Spanky: Do too! You're an MFer. What the fuck does that mean?! Matt fucker?!

[Kylrane and Azrael have this expression of 'what the fuck did he just say'.]

Spanky: I take it back. MFer must mean Massive Failure-er!!

Shannon: It does NOT!! You're so lame you had to sleep with Stephanie McMahon to get a job!!

Spanky: Did not! [gets a dreamy look] I wouldn't mind if I did though... [Kylrane and Azrael give Spanky glares] And even if I did - which I did NOT - at least I don't have a chick's name!

Shannon: Shutup!! My name is not girly, don't diss the name, ok?! I'm no stupid drunken bastard that wears masks! I have a legion of Mooreons that look up to me, damnit!

Spanky: I do more than monitor Matt Hardy's yam and lobster sauce consumption, ok Shanny-bitch?

[Shannon tackles Spanky. Azrael is rooting for Spanky while Kylrane just sits there, looking at her watch.]

Kylrane: 5...4...3...2...1....

[Jeff Hardy then comes into the office as well and begins to beat up on Spanky. Why? We don't know. How did Kylrane know the exact timing of his arrival?? *shrugs* There's a camera outside!]

Azrael: [picks up the steel chair] Can I....?

Kylrane: Go ahead. Get him for that OTHER kiss that happened on Raw...[April 7...I guess I forgot about it when Rene's commercial came on... ^_^]

Azrael: Sweet. [begins to aim the chair]

Kylrane: WAIT!!! [beans Jeff in the head with a paperweight] Ok, go on.

[Azrael proceeds to whack Jeff in the head with the steel chair.]

Azrael: That's for not getting to pummel you at WrestleMania!! [That has to do with my other fic, "Until Daddy Comes Back"....] I'll beat some enthusiasm into you...wanting to be in a rock band rather than a wrestler...[continues to grumble as she kicks Jeff]

[Ten minutes pass and Azrael's still beating up Jeff.]

Kylrane: Uhm...I think that's good now. [sweat drops appear on her forehead] Please don't let me get sued, please don't let me get sued...

[Shannon and Spanky are still going at it on the floor...holy shit that was a slashy line!! I take that back! The two Smackdown superstars are still beating the shit out of each other.]

Shannon: When [punch] will [punch] you [punch] ever [punch] learn [punch] that [punch] you [punch] can't [punch] defeat [punch] Mattitude? [punch...was that confusing enough for you?]

Kylrane: You went back to Matt Hardy after you kicked his ass in my office?!

Shannon: I need guidance, I admit it.

Azrael: It's incredibly sad that Shannon Moore can't think for himself. Then again, months of doing the Matt Hardy Version 1 sign could have side effects...

Shannon: HEY! I drive him around and I serve him his meals too, you know!

Spanky: See? I told you he's a whipped little bitch! GAH! [gets tackled]

Azrael: Shannon plays the subservient role to Matt Hardy...somewhat like in the fashion of Steven Richards and Victoria, wouldn't you say so?

Kylrane: [shudders] I hope Matt and Shannon don't have a sadism-like relationship...or something. All I know is Shannon doesn't sport those gaudy bright pink tights Steven Richards does...

Azrael: [checks watch] Your appointment should have come by now...I think it's a group session.

Kylrane: You THINK?? Did you take a count of how many patients there will be?

Azrael: Maybe...eh...three or four people? Or maybe five...

Kylrane: [to the sky] WHY?? [back to Azrael] What were you DOING while taking calls?!

Azrael: Well, that assclown Jericho kept calling in to annoy me since I have him conveniently blocked from my radio show. Something about how I was a conniving, manipulative, sadistic bitch. And I replied about how that very description fits him too. [chuckles] And then Pyper found out Jericho was contacting me and wanted to locate him, so...it's a very long story.

Kylrane: [rolls her eyes] There's this strange feeling that makes be believe there was more keeping you preoccupied.

[Zoom to Azrael's desk in the lobby, which is full of pictures of Rene Dupree. It also has the words 'Die Jericho Die' scrawled all over it.]

Azrael: Nope! That's about it.

Kylrane: [sighs] Do you at least know who will be coming?

Azrael: If I knew exactly who was coming, I'd be able to count and give you an exact number. I can't give you an exact number.

Kylrane: ....

Azrael: I recognized the voice of Matt Hardy making the appointment, but that's it. There should be more coming along with him.

Kylrane: Matt Hardy?! [glances at the wall which has the words 'Damn you Matt Hardy' scrawled on it] That dumb bastard...

Azrael: That whole orange hair incident??

Kylrane: OBVIOUSLY!! [points to her hair] The shit wouldn't come out!! I had to dye my hair black again!! Right now a spot in my bathroom is totally black due to an accident while testing out the hair dye.

[Suddenly, a guy, about the age of seventeen, pops out of the closet. He looked around and spotted Kylrane.]

Guy from closet: Kylrane!! I'm here to defend Matt Hardy's honor!!

Azrael: Who the fuck are you?!

Guy: Don't you recognize me? [strokes his chin, only to find that a beard similar to Jericho's seems to be attatched to it] Oh yeah, I'll rip this shit off. [pulls off his beard] I'm Mike Baldo, otherwise known as Insaneiac! [waves a banner around that says 'Go read my fic "WWE MANAGEMENT MAYHEM"!!!']

Kylrane: Oh yeah!! Didn't know who the hell you were with that load of shit on your chin. What the fuck do you mean you're here to defend Matt Hardy's honor?!

Insaneiac: It wasn't Matt Hardy at all who had dyed your hair orange!! It was Billy Kidman dressed as Matt Hardy!!

Azrael: [bewildered] Billy Kidman. Billy Kidman came in dressed as Matt Hardy.

Insaneiac: It's so obvious!! Matt would have dyed Kylrane's hair PINK or something. Here, I'll show you the video tape.

[Insaneiac proceeds to put a DVD into Kylrane's laptop. A video begins to show, with Billy Kidman walking down to the street towards the office, dressed similarly to Matt Hardy. He looks around cautiously before pulling on a mask and wig. Billy Kidman looks EXACTLY like Matt Hardy. Billy walks into the office and goes up the stairs with a cup of orange hair dye.]

Insaneiac: SEE?? I told you!

Kylrane: Why would Billy Kidman come in as Matt Hardy and demand that Shannon Moore become and MFer again?

Insaneiac: Because he's jealous of the Mattitude and Mattributes Matt Hardy so obviously has!!

Azrael: We can go ahead and ask Matt right now, he's in front of the door.

[Matt Hardy's music magically cues, and he enters the office, doing his Version 1 hand thingy. Paul Heyman, A-Train, Big Show, and Team Angle also try to enter.]

Azrael: AHHHH!!! GET AWAY!!!

[Kylrane pulls a lever by her desk and Paul Heyman, A-Train, and Big Show fall through the floor.]

Shelton Benjamin: I think I'll just leave now.

Charlie Haas: Yeah, me too. What about you, Captain?

Kurt: I want milk. Let's leave. [Team Angle leaves, carefully stepping over the hole in the floor]

Matt Hardy: [visibly upset] DAMNIT!! THIS WAS GOING TO BE A GATHERING OF THE 'WE HATE BROCK LESNAR' CLUB!!!

Shannon: [slowly gets up] It's OK, Matt, I'm still here...

Spanky: [lying on the floor in pain] Little bitch...

Matt: You are weak Shannon. I have a new MFer now! His name is INSANEIAC!!

Azrael: So that's why he was so eager to defend Matt Hardy.

Kylrane: [shrug] Oh well. We have two headcases.

Matt: [to Kylrane and Azrael] Should Insaneiac and I stay for this unnecessary therapy session because we're going to leave now.

Kylrane: [irate] THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT?!

Matt: I never scheduled an appointment. I came here to clear my name. Matt Hardy Version 1 was not present when you, Kylrane, had a cup of orange hair dye poured on your head. Billy Kidman is jealous of my Mattitude and Mattributes, so he tried to lessen my amount of fans by terrorizing random people.

Kylrane: Well damnit did he have to attack ME?!

Matt: I don't know why. Come, Insaneiac, might as well bring Shannon along too... [begins to walk away]

Insaneiac: [spots Jeff Hardy] JEFF!! [shakes for a moment as the fangirl side of him takes over] JEFFY-POO!! [glomps Jeff] Matt, can we take him home?!?!?!

Azrael: He definitely should be seeing you on a regular basis.

Kylrane: Yeah.

Matt: Ok, you can take Jeff, now let's go. [they leave and are chased after by a couple of Shannon Moore fans, namely Hearts Desire and Mourning Viper]

Kylrane: I've been wondering...if Matt never scheduled the appointment, who did??

Azrael: How the fuck should I know?

Kylrane: [stares] .... You were ANSWERING the calls.

Azrael: Oh yeah. I have been preoccupied, huh? I bet you it was Billy Kidman!!

Kylrane: Oh, come on!

[At a phone booth somewhere, Billy Kidman is cackling like a maniac and saying how he REALLY got Matt this time....]

Kylrane: Due to slacking off on the job, I'm afraid I'm going to have to fire you, Azrael.

Azrael: Hey, that's cool, I've got a French Canadian hottie by the name of Rene Dupree to hunt down!

Spanky: Does that mean I'm your only assistant now, Kylrane?

Kylrane: No, I'm firing you too. You're completely adorable but you're an idiot.

Spanky: DAMNIT!!

[Azrael gives Spanky a hug before leaving the office. Kylrane then proceeds to push Spanky out of the office and sits back in her chair.]

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Gaahh I hated writing this chapter, the words wouldn't flow. Probably due to my allergies. It was written over a span of TWO WEEKS!! AHH!! I apologize, everyone. Oh yeah, for the next chapter, just the first person to review will be my assistant. Please leave your email address so I can ask you some questions. Azrael doesn't count since she's already been my assistant. I tried to portray you as best I could, Azrael, but I have to admit, this wasn't my best work. Sorry. Special thanks to her and to Insaneiac, who provided me with the Billy framed Matt angle. Sorry if you're a Billy Kidman fan. Go check out our joint fic, "Under New Management", pretty please. And remember, REVIEW!! I'm on Easter vacation so I hope I can get another chapter in next week. Until then, so long!