Enyalie
Memory
2nd part of 'Son of Elves and Men' series.
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Author: Etharei
*My sincerest thanks to my beta, Halo Son.*
Rating: PG-13 (for battle scenes and violence)
Disclaimer: Please see Concerning the Game
These events take place around 6 months after Umae Indo.
You don't necessarily have to read Umae Indo to understand this, but there are small tidbits that may be confusing if you haven't (aka a certain game between two well-known wizards). In any case, I suggest you read Umae Indo first if you can.
Author's Notes:
Words in italics (usually) indicate thoughts.
The language used by the characters {in 'real-life'} is stated at the beginning of each section. This isn't really a big deal except that in my mind Aragorn and the twins (for example) would not be speaking the same language as, say, the humans we will meet later on. Just imagine that I've translated their words from Sindarin and Westron into our standard English ;-)
For those of you who have read Umae Indo, you will notice that in this and in the subsequent stories, I do not mention the Players of the Game as often as I did in Umae Indo. This is because I've decided that it'll be more interesting to see if anyone can follow the Moves and counter-Moves between White and Black. Keep in mind that it still plays a big part in the story- it's just that I'm taking you down to the characters' point of view, not knowing what fate (or the Players, in most cases) will hand them next. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, refer to "Concerning the Game" on the Introduction chapter.
Apologies for my long absence! TTT has given me a new burst of inspiration, which will hopefully last for some time.For those of you who have read this before, please note that it's changed significantly, though some of the main bits still remain.
And a shout-out to AfterEver: Hope you're still out there, and still interested! Your critiques are much appreciated!
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Chapter One: To See
[Sindarin]
In Middle-Earth a very long time ago, there was a great and powerful realm inhabited by the elves, fairest of all of Iluvatar's children, and the lord of this particular realm was Elrond Peredhil, Master of the Last Homely House. Quiet and peaceful I said, yet it seemed to the Master that ever since the birth of a certain pair of twins, and especially with the more recent addition to the family, Rivendell was anything but.
And at that moment Lord Elrond was discovering that he may have anough of the blood of Men in him to be subject to migraines.
His morning that day had been filled with a pile of paperwork that intimidated the Misty Mountains. Then some domestic matters that made him wonder if the Dark Lord had hatched a plan to rob his people of common sense, or whether they had any to begin with. Erestor had kindly reduced the size of his afternoon paper mountain, yet by lunch Elrond was in a foul mood as a thundercloud invaded his brain. Thinking that a walk in his private garden would calm his nerves, the day proceeded with him stepping on a sleeping skunk, startling the creature. Glorfindel got the sharp end of his vocabulary (which was quite extensive) as he helped Elrond scrub the gut-twisting stink off his skin. Incidentally, for some unfathomable reason, all his robes had been taken out that day for cleaning, and in the end Glorfindel simply stole one of Elladan's.
Even now the memory of the stink made him want to crinkle his nose.
"Haha! Beware, you foul beast of Sauron, for I am Beren, and I shall smite you to the ground!"
"Your words are nothing but sounds in the wind. Bow before me, and I may spare your wretched hide for my Master!"
CLACK! CLACK!
Ai, Valar, what had he done to deserve this?
CLACK! CLACK! CLACK!
Unable to resist, Elrond spared a quick glance out of the window of the family sitting room, only to decide that not watching was healthier for his remaining nerves. Still, he had no choice but to listen to Estel and Elrohir's mock battle with makeshift quarterstaffs. That was inviting disaster enough, yet somehow they had decided that this 'battle' should take place atop a log in the river. Elladan, who usually had more sense than both his younger brothers put together, cheered them on from the bank whilst nursing his bandaged arm. The eldest of Elrond's children had been carried home a battered and bloody mess a month ago, and had just been allowed out of sickbed for short periods of time.
CLACK! THUD. CLACK! CLACK!
"Aiieee!!!"
"Estel!"
"ESTEL!!"
"ADA!"
Another thing commonplace in Rivendell: as soon as one son got out of sickbed, another one replaced him.
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Much later, Elrond was alone with Estel in the boy's sleeping chamber- a rarity when the twins were home. Estel had only fractured his ankle, so Elrond had to think up of something to prevent the human from climbing out of his balcony by next week out of sheer boredom. Elrond personally disliked prolonged bed rest, and often had to chase his patients out of bed; his sons, however, seemed to have a ingrained loathing of being restrained indoors.
"Stay in bed tonight, Estel, and I shall let you have dinner in the sitting room tomorrow."
"Yes, Ada."
Convinced that in his tired state the human wouldn't be going anywhere that night, Elrond took a good look at the human that he had adopted. With nineteen summers behind him, Estel still retained most of his teenage lankiness, and looked slightly out of proportion as he slowly ripened into adulthood. But Elrond could see the promise of more build, not to mention height.
He will stand as tall as the twins one day.
"Ada, why am I here?"
Elrond hesitated for a moment. He knew that something had been occupying the boy's mind the last few days; recent events had made Estel realised that he may never truly be accepted amongst the people he grew up around. Many elves distrusted mortals, viewing them as weak and easily succumbed to greed and evil. Elrond had similar views once, yet how could he hold on to them when he adopted the direct descendant of the one human who had demonstrated the weakness of Men?
"Long ago I told you that you were not truly my son," Elrond began. He had prepared for this occasion some time ago. From underneath his robes he took out a small object and handed it to the boy, trying to ignore the memories that came with it. "This used to be Celebrian's; I hope she will help you with the truth. What you have known, now you must see."
Apprehensively, Estel inspected the object. It was a small mirror, with a rich wooden back, but no gold or ornament decorated it. He caught his familiar reflection in the mirror, and Estel wondered what his father was trying to tell him. But when he looked up at the Elf Lord, his next question died on his lips. The kindly face of his father, ageless yet familiar, was suddenly so very different from his own.
"You must face the truth Estel. Do not seek to hide from it, for how can one face the past if he cannot even accept the present?"
Staring at his reflection, Estel realised that although he had thought that he'd long ago accepted the fact that Elrond was not his father, in his heart he had refused to believe it. But in the image on the mirror was the undeniable truth, and he realised then that he can no longer pretend.
He suddenly felt very alone and vulnerable.
His real father had died when he was two.
He would never know him.
He would never know a part of himself.
Elrond. Elladan. Elrohir. The family he knew and loved. They were different, and one day they would have to leave them, for he was of the race of Men. Then he would be alone.
Oh, how he hated to be alone.
When you are young, it is easier to postpone the truth, thought Estel as a lump formed in his throat. All the pain and hurt he had carried inside him from his childhood, at being excluded because he was of the race of Men, simply burst out of him, and he wept.
***
"Estel! Is it true? Lord Elrond's not really your father?"
"Go away."
"It's true then! Ha! I always knew there was something wrong with you, Adan!"
*
"Estel, we- we don't want to play with you anymore."
"But why?"
"Because you're Edain."
*
"Are you the one they call Estel?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well, Adan, stay away from our children, understand?"
"Ye-yes, sir."
*
"Ada?"
"Yes, Estel?"
"Can I please go to lessons now?"
"Of course. Just wait for a moment, I have some business to finish first, and then we can walk to the Healing Room together."
"Yes, Ada."
"Lord Elrond?"
"Yes?"
"Why do you let him call you that? Is he not of the Edain?"
"He is my son."
*
Elrond watched as sobs racked the boy. He had dreaded this, but knew that it was best for Estel to face the truth now rather than later. Still, it pained his heart to see his son (adopted son he mentally corrected himself) in distress, and he leaned forward and embraced the boy, whispering words of comfort as Estel wept on his shoulder.
He knew then, in a moment of foresight, that the time was near to tell Estel his heritage. But not yet. Not yet.
After a while, the boy's sobbing ceased, yet Elrond could feel the pain emanating from Estel, pain in the loss of a child's dream and pain at suddenly being sundered from the only family he knew.
Though he had tried his best, Elrond couldn't stop the tauntings when the boy was younger, and had instead encouraged the boy's interest in books to keep him away from other elven children. Elladan and Elrohir (not to mention Glorfindel) were just as protective of the new addition to their family, and at least one of the twins kept him company most of the time. Instead of letting him learn with the other children, Elrond had also allowed his brothers and Glorfindel to teach the boy combat. Elrond knew that his over-protectiveness had led to Estel's solitary and quiet nature, which may be a problem if the boy was destined to be the King of Men, yet he felt that what he did was right. At any rate, Glorfindel had assured Elrond that Estel was a capable leader- it was just that he preferred not to be.
Unfortunately, Elrond's over-protectiveness also resulted in Estel being strongly attached to the Elf Lord, and he could only imagine how it felt to be sundered from the only family he had in a world that didn't want him. Elrond being 'Ada' had always been very important to Estel, and, the Elf was startled to realise, to himself.
I do not think I would survive the day I am not his Ada. The realisation rocked him to the very core of his being.
Smiling kindly, Elrond mentally packed away this sudden revelation, and gently lifted Estel's tear stricken face to meet his eyes.
"Yet often Hope comes to us unlooked-for." Elrond placed the boy's cold hand on his ageless face, and indicated that Estel look into the mirror again.
Reluctantly, the boy gazed at his reflection in the mirror. So different, he thought despairingly, I have no family. I am alone. Tears threatened to flow again as he continued to gaze into his red, swollen eyes.
Eyes of grey and blue, like clouds of a storm on a clear day...
No, perhaps not completely different.
He looked up at Elrond, then down at his reflection again. Yes, they had the same eyes. And... there was a hint or two in the jaw, the way he held his head, his hands. For a long while, Estel examined every feature on his face, which he had thought he knew very well, and of himself as a whole. He realised that he and his fa- Elrond actually had more features in common than he had ever believe. He wondered at this revelation.
"We are kin, Estel," Elrond explained. "And though I had not been overly willing at the beginning, it was not on a mere whim that I took in a young woman and her babe, and made her child my own."
Estel opened his mouth to speak, for a torrent of questions had just rushed through his head, but Elrond held up a hand. "I know many that there are many things that you will wish to know, Estel, but trust me when I say that now is not the time. One day I promise to tell you everything, yet for now I ask that you will be content with what I will tell you."
"There are many enemies in this world, most with no love for Men and Elves. You are of the race of Men, that you must also come to accept, though I told you long ago. The time of childhood is passing you by, young one, and soon you will be a Man. You will be venturing into the outside world, and many perils await you. You are of the Edain, yet the blood of the Eldar flows through your veins also, and we are kin, though distantly."
"And to answer your question," Elrond made sure that the young Man looked him in they eye, so that he may know that what the Elf Lord said was true. "You are here because you are Estel. I did not take you in willingly, for a shadow divides the races of Men and Elves now, but I do no regret doing so."
Elrond got up and walked to Estel's balcony. Earendil above shone brightly, as he always did on Rivendell, acknowledging his sons, the Lord of Imladris and the young Heir of Gondor.
"Always remember Estel, that first and foremost you are my son, and Elladan and Elrohir are your brothers. I love all my children dearly, and for that reason alone I would protect you whilst I can from the Shadow that grows in the lands beyond Rivendell. Yet my protectiveness comes not only from a father's love, though I would wish it did. You are... a very important person, Estel, especially to me and your brothers, yet also to many others. I cannot tell you much more, only give you my promise that I will when the time comes."
"I love you, Ada."
"I love you too, my Estel. Sleep now and rest."
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