(reading newspaper)
TO THE TUNE OF FUGUE FOR TINHORNS

Here's a newsie - page three,
His name is Jack Kelly
And here's a guy that says if he's sellin' Papes baby-
He can do!
Can do
This guy says that Jack can do!
If he says that Jack can do...Can do...can do

I'm Choosin' Race Higgins
Cause he's good pickin's
Guy says that when he gambles he's like the dicken's
He has chance
Has chance
This guy says that Race has chance
If he says that Race has chance...has chance...has chance

But take a look at Spot
Ya see he's really hot
According to this page right here that I got
A big threat
A big threat
This guy calls Spot a big threat.
If he calls spot big threat...big threat...big threat

Jack Kelly
Race Higgins
Spot!

Or Neeeeeeeeewwwwwwwsiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeesssss we've GOOOOOOOOOOOT!