Well here it is the latest from the kitchen. Hope you guys enjoy!
Tuesday
Cyclops had spent all night calling Maytag and Sears, but he finally got the kitchen fixed up and a new refrigerator installed. Rogue and Sam stood in the kitchen admiring their leaders work.
"So?" Asked Sam, "what do we make for the team?"
Rogue moved to a cupboard and pulled out a box. "How about grits?" She asked and Cannonball got excited.
"I love grits!!!" He exclaimed, "I used to eat them all the time."
"Ok then I'll start the water a boilin' and you get some toast an fixins ready." Rogue got out a pan and began preparing the food.
Ten minutes later and the porridge like dish was ready. "It's all done."
"Great. I got the toast and mustard and…"
"Mustard?" Rogue said and wrinkled her nose, "Who puts mustard in grits?"
"I do, there good that way." Sam said, defending his choice of condiments.
"Well I like sugah and honey on mine. It's sweet that way."
"Fine. I'll bring out all three and see what everyone else likes."
Rogue nodded and began pulling bowls down from the cupboard. While her back was turned Sam reached into the pot and pulled out a finger full of grits and shoved it into his mouth. He immediately began to gag.
*Cough* "Ughhh *hack* what did you do to these grits!" He yelled while spitting up.
"What do you mean?!" Rogue asked, turning around to glare at him.
"Their disgusting!" He stuck out his tongue. In a quick instant Rogue reached out and snatched his tongue between her thumb and forefinger. Sam yelped in surprise.
"Are you sayin you don't like mah cookin?" She growled at him.
Sam's eyes went wide in panic and he stammered, "No, no I wike yo wood. Num num." He rubbed his belly and did his beast to smile. Rogue eyed him and then let his tongue go.
"Good. No one puts down on mah cookin." She went back to the stove and began stirring the gruel within. "IT'S READY!!" She yelled, "Go set the table!"
Cannonball immediately jumped up and, grabbing the spoons and bowls, rushed out of the kitchen.
Minutes later the table was set and almost everyone was present and waiting for the food. Rogue came out of the kitchen with Sam close behind holding the pot of grits.
"Hold your bowls up." Rogue said cheerfully as she grabbed a ladle and began spooning the grey mush out. When they received their food each X-man stared at it skeptically.
As Rogue went around the table serving people Sam stood behind her smiling. While she was busy serving Storm, Sam began to wave frantically with one hand at those across the table. Catching Beast and Bobby's attention he began to make gagging faces and then pointed at the pot. Seeing their quizzical stares he then went on to rub his tummy and smile uneasily, then pointed to Rogue. He made a series of quick kill signs across his throat and pointed at her again. Sam repeated the series of gestures until both Beast and Bobby's faces lit up with understanding. They stared fearfully at their bowls and then tapped the other people to their side. Before Rogue had finished serving the last person everyone had been filled in on the situation.
"Alright then." Rogue said as she finished serving and her and Sam sat down to their own bowls. "Dig in."
Everyone hesitated and glanced from one to the other. Seeing no one make an attempt to eat Rogue gritted her teeth, "Why isn't anyone EATIN!!!"
When she yelled everyone quickly picked up their spoon, dug out a huge scoop and shoveled it into their mouths. There was a collective pause as they all held the disgusting morsel in their mouths.
"I don link I can slollow lis." Bobby informed Hank in a choked whisper.
"Courage Bobby." Hank replied and tried to choke down his mouthful.
At his side Jean had managed to swallow her spoonful and quickly washed her mouth out with orange juice. Taking a breath she smiled and said, "It certainly is an…interesting flavor."
"It's mah own recipe." Rogue declared proudly, "Aw dang it, there's no more honey. I'll go git some from the kitchen."
As soon as she left everyone began to scrape his or her bowls back into the pot. Bobby grabbed his napkin and spewed out the grits he couldn't down.
"Hey you all." Cannonball cried, "You can't dump it all back. She won't believe that. Come on!" Nobody paid any attention.
"Ok I've got the honey!" Rogue called. Everyone quickly sat back down and smiled as Rogue entered.
"Wow, Y'all finished quick!" Rogue whistled in amazement. "And here you didn't like mah grits Cornball."
Sam shifted uneasily, "Yeah, huh-huh, shows what I know."
"So does anyone want seconds?" Rogue grabbed her ladle and glanced into the pot, only to find it full again. "Wait a minute." She glared around the table, murder in her eyes as Gambit and Wolverine walked into the room.
"Der we done wit yo danger room session." Gambit said to Cyclops, who only nodded as he stared in fear at Rogue.
"What's goin on?" Wolverine asked, then held his hand up and waved it in front of his face, "What the hell is that nasty smell?"
"Smell like feet non?" Gambit put in and held his nose.
"WHAT!!!" Rogue yelled. The dining room cleared out in a hurry, leaving Gambit and Wolverine to face Rogue alone.
"I can't believe Cyclops is still going thru with this." The winged Archangel said to Bishop. "The kitchens been trashed twice and then the dining room, all in less than two days."
Bishop shook his head and shrugged, "I guess we should try and do better than the last three groups."
Warren nodded. The two men stood in silence looking at the kitchen before them.
"So…" Warren began, "Do you know how to cook?"
"Nope," Bishop answered, "you?"
"No, usually I just order out and then pretend like I made it." The two men sighed and continued to stare at the kitchen.
"Maybe we can find a recipe to make." Bishop suggested.
"That's a good idea." Warren declared and they began to riffle thru drawers, "Here's one for homemade pizza." He held up an index card. Bishop took the card and read over the instructions.
"You think we can do this?"
Warren was already pulling out the ingredients. "Of course. It those zit faced teenagers at the pizza shop can make one, I'm sure we can handle it."
Bishop agreed and helped Warren get the items they needed.
"Ok," Warren said reading the card, "First we have to make the dough. We have to sift some flour into a bowl."
Bishop looked around at the various pieces of equipment they had gathered, "We don't have a sifter."
"Hmmm," Archangel thought, "hand me that strainer." Bishop retrieved a metal colander and gave it to Warren. "Guess this will have to do. Measure out the flour and run it thru here."
Bishop scooped out the flour into a measuring cup.
"Make sure you pack it down so we get the right amount." Warren told him and Bishop began to push down on the flour.
"Here." He handed the cup to Warren who strained it and went on to add the other ingredients.
"We need yeast." Bishop said and approached with a can. The container had a pop-top ring and the mighty mutant struggled to pull it open. "Stupid…" He muttered and worked the metal ring back and forth until it finally snapped off. "ARRRGGGGHH!!" He yelled and squeezed the can until it exploded, most of the yeast landed in the bowl.
"Ok." Said Warren as he used his hand to wipe any stray yeast onto the floor. "Now we just kneed it and let it sit for awhile so it can rise."
Warren stood leaning against the counter reading a newspaper. On one side was Bishop reading the latest issue of Guns and Ammo, and on the other side was the bowl of pizza dough. Warren had just gotten to the financial section of the paper when he heard a strange, if not disgusting, sound.
"Brrrt." He looked up at Bishop who shifted from one leg to another. Bishop said nothing so Warren went back to reading the paper.
"Bwwweeett." Warren cast a sidelong glance at Bishop and saw him shift restlessly again. Warren sniffed the air but couldn't smell anything so he went back to reading. Over the course of the next couple of minutes or so Warren was treated to a series of disgusting sounds, each followed by an uncomfortable shift on Bishop's part.
"Frrrpp." "Brrrblll." "Pweeeet." "Urrrrrttt."
"OKAY THAT'S IT!!" Warren yelled, startling Bishop. "That's just disgusting. Go and take a Tums or something!"
"What?" Bishop asked in confusion.
"Don't play dumb Mr. Gassy." Bishop stared at Warren in shock and then anger.
"Just what are you saying?" He demanded.
"I'm saying your breaking wind over there, cutting the cheese, someone pulled your finger, your letting loose, a TURD is saying hello. In short you're FARTING!!!"
"Hey that ain't me! All those sounds were coming from you! I just didn't want to say anything."
"From me?!" You're the one that's dancing around over there." Warren accused.
"I have to shift my weight around otherwise my leg cramps up." Bishop defended.
"Sure, well if you're not making the noises, and I'm not, then who is?"
"I don…"
"BRRRRRRRTTTT!!!" The loud rumble came from Warren's side and both men stared in amazement at the bowl on the counter. There the bowl of pizza dough had bubbled over and was now covering the counter top. It began to swell and grow, all the while letting out a series of foul sounds.
"That's just nasty." Bishop commented. As if in response the pizza dough let out a roar that sounded like a fat man on a bean burrito diet, and began to grow to fantastic proportions. The mass of dough began to reach out with sticky tendrils and pull in objects it came into contact with. The two X-men stood in stunned silence as the pizza dough reached out and consumed both the newspaper and magazine on the counter.
"HEY!!!" Bishop yelled and pulled out a gun. "Give it back!"
The dough responded with what sounded like a satisfied burp.
"Fine then." Bishop growled. He backed up towards a cupboard, gun still trained on the dough, and reached inside. He pulled out a metal pan and clamped it onto his head. Following his example, Warren picked up the metal colander and placed it on his head. Specks of flour flaked down onto his hair and shoulders. Warren nodded his readiness to Bishop who nodded in return.
"EAT THIS YOU PIZZA DOUGH FROM HELL!!!" Bishop yelled and unloaded on the mass before him.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
The hot bullets pierced into the sticky dough and disappeared. For a moment the dough stopped expanding. Suddenly the pizza dough sprang back to life as the heat from the bullets reactivated the yeast and caused the entire blob to double in size almost instantly.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Bishop fired at the monstrosity again, only to find that the blob was doubling again.
"Let's get out of here!" Warren yelled. Holding the colander down with one hand he sprang for the door. Bishop followed him, shooting at the trailing dough.
They ran out the kitchen and tried slammed the door shut. Almost immediately pizza dough began to ooze out from underneath and along the sides.
"We can't hold it back!" Bishop yelled, and the two sprang away just as the dough overpowered them and knocked down the door and flooded into the dining room. Bishop held up his gun to fire again, but a huge sticky appendage reached out and snagged it.
"OH NO YOU DON'T!!" Bishop yelled and refused to let go. He tried bracing himself and tugged on the gun.
"Bishop!" Warren screamed and grabbed him around the waist, "Let go!"
"Like Hell!" Bishop yelled and suddenly the dough pulled him in. Warren grabbed his vanishing foot and tried desperately to pull his teammate out.
"RET OUTTA REAR!!" Came a voice from within the dough.
"What?" Warren yelled, still pulling.
"RET OUTTA REAR!"
"I'm not going to let you be eaten by some psychopathic pizza dough!" Suddenly Bishop's had thrust thru the dough and in it was a grenade. "OH!" Warren yelled and let go. With a quick beat of his wings Warren was across the room. He turned over the table and dived behind it, using both hands to hold the colander on his head.
KAAABOOOMMM!!!!!!!!!!
The mass of dough exploded and splattered all over the room. Warren crouched behind the table and was stunned to see Bishop fly overhead and make a crash landing against the wall, his pot helmet still firmly in place. Bishop sat up and began picking bits of dough of his gun.
"I didn't think so!" He declared and then kissed his gun, "Isn't that right sweetheart."
"I can't believe it." Cyclops moaned as he sank into bed. "The kitchen and dining room, totally trashed."
Jean lay beside him and gave him a sympathetic look, "Well you got them cleaned up alright, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but this is going so badly." He sighed.
"Well I think it's funny, especially how you described Bishop and Warren peaking out from behind the table with a pot and colander on their head." She began to laugh and Cyclops gave her a stern look. Jean leaned over and kissed him gently on the forehead.
"I'm sorry Scott. I guess my point is, that it isn't all bad."
"Yeah right, the only hope I have right now," He said as he turned out the light, "is from the fact that you and Storm will be making breakfast. At least I know I can trust you two not to destroy anything."
Well that's two days down. What do you all think? Is Scott gonna get a break on Wednesday? Stay tuned to find out. PS I was very happy to read all your comments, and intend to use some of your suggestions on the next chapter.