Okay, this chapters kinda long, but I think you'll enjoy it. Its called…
The Shopping Trip
It took almost half and hour to get the X-men all piled into the van and another half hour just to get to the store. After several small fights regarding who got to sit up front Rogue settled the matter by claiming the seat herself. Then Bobby and the others grudgingly piled into the back and spent several minutes elbowing and pushing each other to make room. Wolverine claimed the widest birth when he popped his claws and dared the others to move into his territory. Seating arrangements finally settled they were off, but immediately got lost when Rogue tried to navigate.
"Well I never take the road, I usually fly ta where ahm goin." She defended. They finally arrived at the store and spent another ten minutes looking for a parking space.
"We'll never find one." Storm muttered behind the wheel.
"Well if this bozo here didn't take up two whole spaces!" Rogue complained.
"I'll take care of it." Jean said and telepathically lifted the vehicle. She moved it aside and Storm drove into the empty space. They all piled out and assembled themselves into their teams.
"Ok we'll meet at the front in one hour." Storm declared while glancing at her watch.
"You better make that two." Bishop said, "Looks like it's pretty busy in there."
Storm looked at the crowd making their way into the store, "Very well, two hours. And please, don't anyone get into trouble in there."
The others all smiled at her and she sighed. 'What was Cyclops thinking?' She lingered on the thought for a few moments and turned to Logan. "Shall we?"
Each team grabbed a cart upon entering the store and went out to search for their ingredients. Jean and Warren headed to the produce with Beast and Sam following, Gambit and Rogue went hunting for eggs, Logan and Storm went after tomato sauce and pasta, and Bishop and Iceman had no idea where to go so they stood in the middle of the aisle contemplating their next move.
"Hmm, I guess we should just find a mix and see what the box says we need." Bishop suggested.
Bobby stared out at the store, transfixed. "It's so big." He said in wonder.
"Yes its very big. Come on let's go find our stuff." Bishop moved to take the cart.
"I want to push it!" Bobby yelled and grabbed the handle bar. Bishop sighed and took up the lead, Bobby pushing the cart behind him.
"Well the signs above the aisle should lead us to…"
"Hey free samples!!" Bobby rushed off to taste test some cheese crackers.
Wolverine had discovered the free food almost immediately after entering the store. He quickly wheeled his cart over to the first stand and began to look over what was available.
"Good morning sir!" The lady with a pink apron said and presented a small piece of meat on a toothpick. "Would you like to try a free sample?"
"I sure would." Logan replied and took the toothpick and popped the tidbit into his mouth. He began to gag and spit it out into a nearby trashcan. "What the heck is that?"
"Why its our latest tofu sausage. Its super healthy for you and tastes just like the real thing."
"Trust me lady, it don't." He rubbed his tongue on the roof of his mouth and tried to get rid of the flavor. "What else ya got?"
Gambit stood at another stand examining a small plastic cup filled with purple liquid. He rotated the cup and the contents sloshed around. Taking a small sip Gambit swished it around in his mouth and intently studied the flavor.
"Sir, its only grape juice." The attendant informed him. Gambit swallowed and smiled at her.
"Not after Gambit thru wit it." The woman blushed and Gambit's grin widened.
"REMY what are you doin?" Rogue yelled and Gambit quickly turned around.
"Noting, jus samplin dis here juice."
"Sure ya were. Come on help me check these eggs."
"We have to check all of our ingredients in order to make sure they're the freshest they can be." Jean said while examining a tomato. Warren walked up holding a bag of ready-made salad.
"Here you go." He said cheerfully. Jean looked at the bag and glared at him.
"Warren we're not using a ready made salad. This has to be the best salad anyone has ever had, and were not going to find that in a plastic bag."
"Sure we are. It's all in the presentation." He smiled. "You just have to sell it as the best there ever was. I do it all the time."
"Really, how?"
"Well you just rinse it off and serve it, and when that special lady…or man in your case…anyways, when that special lady starts eating it you just ask her in a smooth voice, 'is the lettuce crisp enough? It's iceberg you know.' And then she starts to giggle and you smile and she never even knows that it's some cheap bargain bag that you bought at the last minute."
"We're not going to do that. Now go find some lettuce and make sure it's fresh."
Warren sighed and headed off to find the lettuce.
"Do we need any greens?" Sam asked as Beast stood beside him examining their list.
"No, I think we shall stick to the basics of carrots, potatoes, and maybe a few peas." Beast pulled up a bunch of carrots from a stand and examined them. "These should do just fine. Um, Sam could you please retrieve a bag to put these in?"
Sam nodded and went to a roll of plastic bags hanging from a rack. He pulled on the end and ended up unwinding several feet of plastic.
"Dang it." He muttered and re-rolled them to try again.
"Bobby if you hit me with that cart one more time I swear…" Bishop warned thru gritted teeth.
"Well then hurry up, Logan's gonna eat all the free food." They finally arrived at the table just as Logan was leaving, picking his teeth and grinning.
"The rests all yours." He tossed the toothpick and went to join Storm.
"Oh boy, lets see what they got." Iceman rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Eww moldy cheese."
"Its not moldy cheese sir," The attendant informed him, "Its bleu."
"Its moldy." Bobby restated and glanced about the table. "Do you have anymore samples?"
"No, I'm sorry sir, just the bleu."
"Yuk, I'm not gonna eat moldy cheese."
"Sir, its not moldy it bleu. Its really quite tasty."
"I remember when we had to eat moldy cheese." Bishop commented, a faraway look in his eyes. "That was all there was sometimes and you had to fight the rats and other vermin for it. All because of that wretched despot and those weak individuals who allowed it to happen. I tell you if I…"
The woman stared at Bishop in shock, Bobby casually explained, "He's from the future. So…nothing but moldy cheese then?"
"Sir, its NOT moldy cheese, its bleu."
"Its moldy cheese." Bobby said genuinely.
"Its bleu."
"Moldy cheese."
"Bleu."
"Moldy cheese."
"Sir…"
"Hey Hank!" Bobby called to Beast who was passing by, grocery list in hand.
"Where's Sam?" Bishop asked, returning to reality.
"He's off wrestling with the plastic bags in the produce." Hank grinned.
"Hey Hank," Bobby continued, "Isn't this moldy cheese?"
Hank examined the cheese, "It's bleu." He stated.
"See sir I told you…"
"So in essence, yes it is moldy cheese."
"Oh! I told you! And this guys a genius so I think he knows Ms. its bleu na na na." Bobby mocked the woman and she glared at him.
Hank shook his head and continued on his quest to find chicken for his potpie.
Logan and Storm stood arguing in the meat aisle.
"Listen Ro' I don't make nothin without puttin meat in it, got it!" Wolverine growled and held onto a package of hamburger meat.
"I am not going to allow you to put that butchered animal into my lasagna!" Storm declared.
"Hey, in case ya forgot its OUR lasagna, and I'll put whatever I damn well please into it." Storm stared at Logan and he could feel the static electricity in the air pulling at the hair on his arms and neck. Storm glanced around and saw that many of the fellow shoppers were staring at the two and whispering amongst each other. She gritted her teeth, "Fine, we shall make half with meat, and half without. Is that ok?"
Logan nodded and placed the package into the basket. They wheeled their cart on to the produce to find some tomatoes. When they arrived they ran into Sam who was squirming around on the floor wrapped in plastic bags.
"What the hell?" Wolverine said and bent down to cut Sam out.
"Thanks ya'll." Sam said as he drew in a huge breath. "Stupid things had me trapped and people were just walking by lookin at me like I was crazy or laughin cause I was stupid. Jean even came by and didn't even bother ta look at me. Kept mutterin something bout a super salad." Sam shook his head and wondered off to find Beast. Logan and Storm just smiled at each other as they watched him leave.
Jean was running around the produce section picking out the best of the best. She had sent Warren back several times now to find a good head of lettuce.
"They're all the same." He complained and she screamed at him about not being bland and gave him a tip on staying alive, find her a decent head of lettuce.
Warren returned to the lettuce stand and stared at the green vegetables. "They're all the same." He muttered. While starring he thought he spotted a particularly good specimen, but it was buried beneath the other heads. 'Figures.' He thought and began to reach thru the pile for it.
Gambit stood before a huge display of eggs. He had already gone thru a great number of them, opening the carton and showing the contents to Rogue whom promptly rejected it.
"Merde Rogue. All dese eggs are de same, please jus pick one." He sighed as she rejected another carton.
"No they ain't. Some of them gots tiny cracks, or weird splotches, and look at that one, its got yolk from another egg on it. I ain't gonna let bad ingredients louse up mah cookin again."
Gambit shook his head. "Hey Gambit have an idea. Why don you jus look thru all of de cartons and pick out de eggs you want? Den we jus buy dos ones."
Rogue smiled, "That's a good idea swamp rat, come' on an help me pick them out. We'll be done in no time."
Bishop and Bobby had managed to find all their ingredients and were waiting at the front for the rest of the team. They had been waiting for a while now and Bobby was bored. He looked around for something to do and spied a service phone.
"Hey I know how to get those guys up here faster." He said and picked up the phone. The cheerful elevator music in the store went off and the loudspeaker came one.
"Ahem," Bobby began and blew into the receiver, "Would the slow pokes in the X party please hurry up, I repeat would the slow pokes in the X party please hurry up."
He chuckled and Bishop rolled his eyes. "Oh I got it." He cleared his throat and in an announcers voice said, "Paging Seymour Butts, Paging Seymour Butts. Please could Seymour Butts report to the service counter."
Somewhere else in the store a second phone was picked up and a gruff voice came over the loudspeaker, "This is an announcement to the idiot Mr. Drake. Hey Popsicle cut tha crap for I come over there and make the need for a cleanup in the frozen section. GOT IT?!"
Bobby quickly hung up the phone and the music came back on. The shoppers stared at one another in confusion, but soon went back to shopping.
"Logan, I'm sure that was unnecessary." Storm said disapprovingly.
"Hey you didn't want any trouble right? So I took care of it." She shook her head and began heading for the checkout.
"We have all we need, as well as those items Cyclops requested we get. So I suppose we should head to the front."
Logan nodded and they made their way to the checkout where Beast and Sam had already joined Iceman and Bishop. Rogue and Gambit arrived with a hand basket full of eggs and Jean and Warren showed up with a cartful of salad fixings, Warren didn't mention to Storm how he had managed to cause a collapse in the produce isle and instead hid his face whenever a security guard walked by. Storm nodded as each team arrived and they got into line were they impatiently waited for the slow cashier to ring up their items.
"Price check on tomatoes, price check on tomatoes." He high-pitched voice echoed thru the store. "Price check on potatoes, price check on potatoes."
The man went thru price checks on almost everything in the first two carts before Wolverine finally got fed up.
"Listen bub, we ain't got all night so could ya hurry it up."
"Sir, yelling at me wont speed this up any faster. Price check on…"
"RRAAAARRRR!!!" Wolverine roared and quickly sliced off the top of the checker's microphone. The man stared at Wolverine in fear, "Come on pal! Speed it up!!"
He nodded and began scanning things at a rapid rate and letting items go that wouldn't scan. When he came upon Rogues basket he stopped.
"Sir we cant sell these eggs like this."
"Yeah, why not?"
"They come in a package."
"But I didn't want the rest of those dirty eggs, just these ones." Rogue answered sweetly and put a hand on the basket.
"But ma'am…"
"She said she wanted those eggs now ring em up!" Wolverine barked and the cashier quickly punched in a random number to represent the eggs. Wolverine nodded and moved aside so that Storm could pay.
Shakily the cashier took her credit card but was unable to scan it. He tried repeatedly, each time staring in fear at Wolverine who growled softly in the back of his throat. Storm gently took the card and scanned it for him. It immediately registered and she signed her receipt and thanked him. He only nodded.
Outside Storm chastised Wolverine for his behavior, but he chose to ignore it and hurried to the van.
"Let's just get home and start cookin okay?" He growled and Storm sighed. They loaded up the groceries and headed back to the mansion.
If only grocery shopping could be that interesting huh? Anyhoo stay tuned for the big event, a kitchen full of X-men. Plus, Cyclops finally cooks with a special guest. See ya then.