Chapter 3

Spike watched with nostalgic fondness the scene unfold before him. A petite woman with glass in hand walked over to a booth where a vampire sat alone in the darkness of the bar.

"You know, they say your face will freeze like that," the woman said.

The vampire looked up from the beer he'd been contemplating. "What face?"

"That horrible scowl. It's not becoming at all," the raven-haired girl said as she slipped uninvited into the booth. "I'm Katerina."

"Spike."

Katerina snorted. "Typical vampire name. You'd think that you all could learn to be a bit more creative."

Spike stared at the stranger baffledly. "What are you, a slayer or something?"

She shook her head as she took a sip of her beer. "A witch."

It was Spike's turn to snort. "Should've bloody known. This place is just crawling with you people." He eyed the witch scrupulously- from her khaki pants to the white blouse that contrasted with her olive skin and dark hair. "Can't say that you look much like one of them, though."

Katerina laughed. "Not all of us wear white gowns and leaves in our hair. Do you like the Sex Pistols?"

Another surprise. This girl was just full of them. "Yeah. I do. You a mind reader?"

"No. They're my favorite band. You look like a Sex Pistols kind of guy."

"That was when I knew I loved you," Katerina said with a laugh. Spike whipped his head to look at the woman beside him. She'd appeared out of no where.

"What are you doing here?"

"Shh. Watch. This is my favorite part," she said, motioning to the couple in the booth- the couple that was them, five years earlier. "Look…right there…see how you're looking me." Katerina sighed.

"That's when I knew I loved you."

"Funny how things turn out isn't it?"

Spike snorted. "Yeah…funny."

The two watched in silence as the couple got up from the booth and headed for the exit. "Didn't waste any time did we?" Katerina commented.

"Didn't have much time to waste."

"True. True."

The bar scene vanished and the two were standing in a familiar room- yellow, heavily scented with spices, and adorned with white lace. On the large four poster bed, a couple was making love loudly.

"Bloody hell."

"Like bunnies."

"Got that right," Spike chuckled. He turned away from the scene.

"It's our past. Why do you turn away?"

The vampire looked levelly at his companion. "Doing it's one thing, watching it's another."

There came an ardent moan from the bed behind them followed by another and another. Katerina's voice screamed Spike's name. "Points for enthusiasm."

Katerina was laughing at Spike's obvious discomfort. "Figures that you'd laugh at something like this."

"I always saw the humor in things didn't I?"

"Yeah." Spike gazed at her. "Are you really here? Or is this my mind?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you'd better not be haunting my dreams, pet. I need my beauty rest."

Katerina chuckled. "You're dreaming what you want to, my love. It's your mind. I'm just along for the ride."

"I love you." He cupped her chin, pulling her close.

"You know I love you. Always did," she whispered, their lips inches apart. "My love was never a question."

"I loved you. I did. I'm sorry I left."

"I know." She began to back away.

"Where are you going?"

She gave him a smile and turned and ran. He followed her- chased her through a thick wood but just when he'd catch a glimpse of her, she'd disappear in the fog. He called her name but she did not stop.

He saw a flash of black hair and followed it, finding himself in a clearing. There was a tiny hut of mud and stone. The door was slightly ajar and dim light poured from it. Spike began to walk towards it. He could see a figure inside, slumped with their head down, long black hair cascading over it.

"Katerina?"

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Wake up! It's time to wake up!" Spike's eyes opened and he groaned as he was jostled on his mattress by the five-year-old bouncing up and down on it.

"Bloody hell. What time is it?"

"It's 6:30! Time for cartoons!"

"What?"

"Saturday morning cartoons," Dawn explained from the basement doorway. "I tried to stop her but she bit me again."

Rebecca giggled. "Come watch with us!"

Spike groaned again and climbed out of bed. He glanced down disdainfully at the pair of black jogging pants he'd bought yesterday at the mall. Rebecca grabbed his hand and dragged him up the stairs before he could even pull on his shirt.

Spike, Dawn, and Rebecca watched cartoons for three hours. The two girls laughed and giggled happily, but Spike's mind was elsewhere. He stared blankly at the TV, until finally Dawn turned it off and declared she'd had her fill of falling anvils.

She took Rebecca upstairs to change out of her pajamas, leaving Spike alone for a few moments until the front door opened and Buffy trudged in. She was covered in mud and grass stains and a few bruises were beginning to form on her face but she didn't appear to be seriously injured.

"Rough night?"

"Gee, how'd you guess?" She stared at him for a moment. "You don't look so hot yourself. Kid finally taking the toll on you?"

Spike sighed and shook his head. "Another bleeding dream about her mum."

Buffy was silent as she stared at the floor. "A bad dream?" she asked.

"Not as bad as the first. The first started out like…like a memory. It was a memory. But then it got twisted into something…horrible. Then the second one…it wasn't too bad, you know? It was like watching a video of us…and she was there. And then…it went wrong too."

Buffy took a seat in the armchair across from Spike. "Do you think they mean anything?"

"Means that I've pushed this feelings away for too damn long. I've always felt guilty for leaving her but I never really faced up to it- to how I hurt her. I was a master vampire! I wasn't supposed to feel guilty! So I never thought about it. I concentrated on what was in front of me. And now it's come up to smack me in the face."

"Why did you leave her?"

"I hadn't intended to," the vampire began thoughtfully. "We'd been together for almost a month. Been together in secret, of course. Every morning I'd go back to Drusilla. She never suspected anything I don't think. But it got to the point where I didn't want to go back to her. I dreaded the mornings- the time just before light- when I'd have to go. I finally decided to sod it all and stay with Katerina. I told her and…cor…she was so happy.

"But that night, Drusilla was attacked by an angry mob. Seems that in my absence, she'd been getting herself into a bit of trouble with the locals. Wasn't as discreet as she should've been. And the area of Prague we were in is a superstitious place. When I found her, she was so weak she could barely move.

"Every vampire has a bond- a sense of obligation- with their sires. And me and Dru had been me and Dru for over a century. I couldn't abandon her. I knew that soon I'd have to bring her to the Hellmouth for her to get her strength back up again. I told Katerina. She understood. Didn't like it. But understood. And we had our last night together. I left before she woke up."

Buffy couldn't reconcile all she was feeling as she listened to Spike's story. She'd never been able to reconcile his amazing ability to love and she doubted that she ever would. He loved her, she knew. And she was using him. She'd been pushing away the guilt she felt for that, just as he'd pushed away his for all those years. But now, it seemed that their 'relationship' was taking a back seat to his obligation to his daughter and guilt and love for her mother.

She understood how his ardent love for her could be put on such a sudden hold. You never stop loving those you lose or leave. She'd never stop loving Angel or Riley or even, in her own way, Spike. And he'd never stopped feeling for any of his lovers. But there were more important matters at hand now. His daughter, for one. And Buffy recognized it and admired him all the more for it.

But she didn't say any of this aloud. She merely looked at him understandingly before Rebecca's tiny voice called to him from the top of the stairs.

Spike stood tiredly, drained from the recollecting, and went to the foot of the steps. And burst out laughing. "Bloody hell, girl! What are you doing?" he managed to ask between laughs.

Rebecca's feet were planted in a furious stance and she had nothing on but a pout and a pair of Little Mermaid underwear. "Daddy, Dawn won't let me wear what I wanna!"

Dawn appeared behind the little girl. "Spike, she wants to wear her pink 'Princess' shirt with the black jeans and that God-awful leather jack you bought her!"

"Sounds cute. Let her wear it."

"She'll look like a midget biker enthusiast!"

"Just let her wear what she wants! Or force her into whatever you pick out."

"I would if I could catch her!" As if on cue, Rebecca let out a loud giggle and darted around Dawn's legs and ran down the hall. Dawn let out a groan and chased after the child. "Come back here you little nudist!"

"Watch out for her mouth! Don't let her bite you again!" Spike chuckled and turned around, almost crashing into Buffy.

"That girl is going to be a holy terror," she accused but she couldn't hide the smile in her eyes.

Spike laughed. "A lot of words can describe my daughter, but I think it's safe to say that 'holy' isn't one of them."

TBC…

Author's Note: Much thanks for all the reviews, guys. Keep 'em coming. I think I should make it known now that this is not a B/S piece. But its focus isn't going to be completely on Spike/Katerina either, although that will be a big part of it. Just to warn all you guys you might be reading this for B/S content. Anyways, I hope you like, keep reviewing, and check out my website for more stories by me and others featuring S/OC- A Reason for Unliving. www.geocities.com/saffire457.