Chapter Four
The sun rose through the faded white curtains over Rinoa's pale body. She blinked open her eyes and squinted in the bright yellow light floating through the room. Looking around her, the sheets wrinkled up and pushed around her in a perfect circle, an imprint of her body left as she sat up. Her eyes grew wide as she whispered, "Shit.
She got up quietly, trying to wrap herself in the sheet without waking Squall. No, that wasn't going to work. She got up, grabbed her clothes and ran to the bathroom to put them on.
The worst part about all of this was she knew it wasn't forced on her. She was the one who forced it on Squall. She'd never go out drinking again.
The clanging of the little stars on the charm bracelet stopped her. It fell out of her pocket onto the floor. She kneeled down to pick it up. Rinoa ran her long white fingers over it, listening to the chiming noise it made, the hollow silver stars hitting each other.
Standing back up, Rinoa slipped on the bracelet and climbed out the window of the bathroom. She'd see Squall at breakfast, no doubt.
Her room was like a sanctuary over the next week, where she'd lie on her bed for hours and cry.
Today, however, she sat up and thought about how important is was to her. It obviously wasn't important to anyone else. I bet even Selphie had lost it and didn't go ballistic. Time to go out and do something.
Rinoa hopped off of her bed and brushed herself off. She looked okay for someone who had been a hermit for a week.
You will continue being Rinoa.
The spell was broken. After all, it was only one night. Rinoa strolled around the Garden, heading down to the parking lot. She said hi to everyone she knew who passed her in the hall and even stopped to talk with Zell for a few minutes, agreeing to meet him for coffee at the mall.
It seemed weird how they had all grown up so fast. Zell was even drinking coffee now. A year ago, he'd have puked if he drank the stuff. Now he was walking to class professionally, wearing the uniform, doing everything required of him.
People change. That was quite obvious in many cases. Zell had become more mature, Selphie and Irvine became a wonderful couple, Quistis learned how to have fun, Squall wasn't as much of a loner, and Seifer had become a nice guy…
What about Rinoa? She hadn't changed so much. She was still the same perky, happy, sweet Rinoa everyone always knew and hopefully always loved.
At least, that's what she thought.
Right as she turned the corner to head into the parking lot, she ran right into Squall. She backed up a few steps and looked up at him.
Squall was tired. Grey circles surrounded his eyes and he was only slightly unshaven, his hair a mess. He looked down at Rinoa and said, "Hi Rinoa."
Rinoa looked down at the floor and said, "Hi."
Squall looked around a little before saying, "Seifer asked you to call him."
With that, he handed her a little piece of paper and said, "See you around."
Rinoa was suddenly embarrassed. She was positive her face was a bright red, and at the same time she wanted to cry. She quickened her pace and headed to the parking lot.
Once in the parking lot, she picked out any car and pulled out of the Garden. As soon as she was out in the bright sun, she started to cry. There wasn't any makeup left on her face, because she'd cried all of the mascara out earlier that week. It left little gray trails down her face, which she'd wiped off before she left.
She'd pretend to still be on okay terms with him, for everyone else's sake and her own sanity.
What terms were they on, anyway? With the way they were both acting, it was obviously not so good. Maybe it was just Rinoa acting this way.
She pulled up to the mall parking lot and sat back in her seat, staring at the clock. It was two twenty two.
A memory suddenly flooded back to her from when she was younger. She knew a boy named Tom, who she had a mad crush on. They'd run around in the sun and talk all the time.
One day, as they were walking through the mall in Deling and talking, they came across a digital clock that read three thirty three. Tom pointed up at it and said, "Three thirty three, make a wish."
"Why?" Rinoa had asked.
"Because all of the numbers on the clock are the same. Make a wish."
She didn't wish it out loud, but wished for Tom.
To think that was only six years ago. She had seemed so young. At the time, she once thought that if she couldn't have Tom, she couldn't have anyone else. It was the only guy she cared about. Then things didn't turn out and she ended up losing a friend and her heart. Until she met Seifer…
Two twenty two make a wish, she thought. The charms on her bracelet bounced together and she thought to herself, I wish that everything would work itself out so that everything turns out well.
The clock changed suddenly and she sighed as she opened the car door and got out.
There was no real reason she was at the mall. There was always something to do here, and it brought back so many memories of her and Selphie and sometimes Quistis walking through the shops, trying on dresses, acting like the teenagers they were.
It also reminded her of school, which she had sadly
dropped. High school seemed to be so pointless, just one huge popularity
contest. Such is life, she thought, but she didn't know that then.
Rinoa started out as one of the popular kids. Her beauty seemed to get her
everywhere. Then the rumors started leaking out. She was called a slut, a
whore, and a million other things too painful to recall.
The worst part was she was none of those things. She'd never even had her first kiss yet. That would have to wait until she dropped school and met Seifer. Now she wished she'd completed it, or tried to wait it out. Look where dropping out landed her though. She was in a Garden, popular, and practically married to the commander… well, at least she was.
The mall was full of people walking in groups, taking up space. The little things seemed to irritate her today, people walking in groups, people who walked too slowly. It was as if Rinoa put forth too much effort walking around them, because it annoyed her so much.
She wandered past the CD store, and then backed up and went into it. She wandered over to the D section and flipped through the CDs until she found it, and bought it with no hesitation.
Two forty five, time to meet Zell.
Walking into the coffee shop, she saw Zell was early. He was sitting alone at a high table for two, drinking a cappuccino. As she walked in, he smiled at her and kicked out her chair.
"Hello, Rinoa," he said politely, "Doing some shopping I see?"
"Not so much," she responded happily, "Just window shopping mostly."
"Ah," he said, drinking down the caffeine. Rinoa sat back in her chair and began to break apart chocolate biscotti.
"Squall told me things weren't so great between you two," he said casually. Dammit, Rinoa thought, Squall told Zell.
"How much did he tell you?" Rinoa asked, hoping nothing more than that was out.
"Oh, just that," Zell replied. Rinoa sighed and said, "Thank Hyne."
"Why, what happened?" Zell asked, suddenly alarmed. Rinoa sighed again and said, "I was drunk."
"I knew that."
"And we uh…"
Zell waited for a response from Rinoa, but she just rolled her eyes a little bit.
"Oh!" Zell exclaimed. Rinoa nodded. Zell quickly said, "Well, I can understand that."
"Has it happened to you?"
"Millions of times."
Rinoa gave him a weird look and he explained, "Well, uh, one night stands and stuff…"
"Oh, okay," Rinoa said, putting the biscotti down. Zell quickly set his hand down over Rinoa's. She looked up into his sky blue eyes. They were nothing you could drown in, because they were so blue, but they were pretty nonetheless.
"Have you checked?" he asked seriously.
"Checked what?" Rinoa asked back into his eyes. Zell whispered, "The P word."
Rinoa's eyes widened and Zell looked into them as they widened. The truth was, Rinoa hadn't even thought of that. It never occurred to her that she could be pregnant.
Zell said softly, "I can get one of those tests with you."
"Oh Zell," she said, afraid she was going to break down right in the middle of the coffee shop. Zell grabbed her hand tighter and said, "Come on, I took a train. I'll drive you to a drugstore, we'll get one of those test things, and then everything will turn out okay, right?"
Rinoa nodded, feeling the back of her throat close up.
It wasn't embarrassing to cry in front of Zell. She sat in her Garden car and cried, wiping mascara off of her cheeks, but not from around her eyes, which turned as black as her pupils in the middle of the brown paint of her eyes.
Her face was a pink, and her arms were soaked with tears and she was getting her CD soaked too, which Zell kindly played to calm her down a little bit. As they neared the drug store, Rinoa attempted to wipe away all of the residue from her makeup on her face, but Zell stopped her and said, "I'll go get it, don't worry about it."
Rinoa nodded and listened to Death Cab for Cutie until Zell came back. She had pretty much stopped crying by then and asked Zell, "Do you have a cell phone?"
"Yeah," he said, pulling it out of his pocket and handing it to Rinoa, "Who you gonna call?"
"Seifer," she said, dialing the number on the paper Squall had given her. Seifer wasn't home, and she left a message on his machine with her dorm number and phone number. As she hung up, Zell said, "You still like him, don't you?"
"He's a good friend," she explained, and then began to wonder if she was covering herself. I mean, she was supposed to like Squall, because he was her boyfriend and she could be holding his kid right now. The idea of liking Seifer was completely taboo.
Zell pulled into the Garden parking lot and stopped the car. They sat back in their seats until Zell asked, "Should I tell everyone else?"
Rinoa nodded and said, "Have them meet in my dorm. We can have a Rinoa's Test party."
Zell laughed and they got out of the car.
Ten minutes later, Rinoa got a call from Zell.
"Hello?" she asked.
"Hey, it's me," Zell said.
"Hey. Are they coming?"
"No, everyone's out. Quistis should be coming any second now, though."
"Okay."
"Bye."
"Bye."
Just as Rinoa was hanging up the phone, Quistis knocked on her door. Rinoa ran towards it. She opened it and Quistis fell on her, draping her arms around her neck and saying, "I came as soon as I could."
"You're the only one," Rinoa said, hugging Quistis back. Quistis began to cry a bit on Rinoa's blue covered shoulder. She patted her back and drew back a couple of steps, picking up her bag and heading into Rinoa's dorm. Rinoa drew out the test and headed into the bathroom.
"Okay, this is it," Rinoa said, walking into the bathroom. Quistis nodded and began to cry a little harder. Rinoa closed the door behind her and Quistis sat outside it.
To think your friend might have to go through such a life-altering experience. It was almost scary.
Rinoa wasn't even her best friend, though she wished she could be. Quistis never really had a best friend, although if she had to pick anyone it would be Rinoa. There was always something about Rinoa that made her happier than when she was around Selphie. Something different.
The door creaked open a little bit and Quistis peeked in to see Rinoa sitting on the ground with her head in her hands. Quistis crawled in and asked, "Well?"
Rinoa pulled the test off of the counter and nodded.
Quistis took one glance at the test and grabbed Rinoa's shoulders, hugging her
close and tight. Rinoa cried against Quistis's blue vest, sobbing harder than
she could ever remember. No makeup ran down Quistis's skirt, because Rinoa had
cried it all off earlier.
Quistis rubbed her friend's white arm and said comfortingly, "It'll be okay,
Rinoa. It'll be okay."
Rinoa stopped sobbing a little bit and instead buried her face in Quistis's vest. Quistis stopped rubbing Rinoa's shoulder and said, "Oh hell, no it won't."
Quistis cried along with Rinoa, her tears running into Rinoa's midnight hair and mixing with Rinoa's to form a puddle on the ground.