"A Bitter Sweet End"
By: LindsayC
Ok, after the lovely reviews left, I sat down and spit out several chapters. Yes, I do mean several. However, being the procrastinator that I am, I feel the need to forget to type the damn things up. I shall wait and see how many more readers I get before posting the other chapters. Come readers! Come to me! I'm feeling slightly insane today. Not that you care. I just have to type needless things to make me feel important.
Ok, so this chapter is very humorous. I mean after the first chapter, which made me cry, I felt the need to lighten things up. For those who know me, you will see my insane side come out in this chapter. It's Harry's birth! So read now unless I frighten you.
Disclaimer: See other chapters.
I really couldn't find a song for this one. I thought I could use "Dude (looks like a lady)" by Aerosmith, but I read the lyrics and it didn't work. So sorry, no song. I might stop the whole song thing. It really is unnecessary.
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Chapter 3: "Gender Blender"
"Name?"
"Potter."
"Married?"
"Excuse me?"
"Are you married?"
"Yes."
"Dammit"
James Potter looked incredulously at the homely nurse. He was too panicked to be flattered. His wife was having a baby and here is a nurse hitting on a tall, gangly, cute, dorky guy with glasses. Well, James was thinking more along the lines of here is a nurse so ugly you have to tie a piece of meat around her neck for the dogs to play with her hitting on a roguishly handsome man with glasses and messy black hair that was undeniably sexy. Ever since he married Lily, whom he thought was absolutely gorgeous, he thought very highly of himself. He was young and settled in life, and he had a promising future. Perhaps he was a little flattered.
Disappointment had faded the nurse's haggard face. She finally replied, "I'm sorry Mr. Potter, but you'll have to wait out here. Your wife is in labor now."
James stared at her in disbelief. "You're asking me to wait?"
"Mr. Potter, you are to late. The doctors cannot be bothered now. Please take a seat."
"TOO LATE! I beg your pardon, but I don't remember you doctors setting an exact time for the birth of my child! If you did I don't recall it. Otherwise, I would have gladly rearranged my schedule and be here for my wife!"
"Dear god man? Shut it!" replied the all to uncomforting words of Christina. "Just sit down and try to," she said this in a calmer tone, "well, just sit."
"Is she ok?" asked a now calmer James.
"Well, I'm not exactly sure, but last I saw her it was 'Oh dear god this hurts'," she said that with little enthusiasm. It certainly didn't help James any.
"How did you know she was in labor?"
"Well…" She and James were both distracted by a sudden outburst from Nurse It.
"I have never been so insulted in my life!"
"I'm sorry miss! I honestly thought you were a man," exclaimed Remus Lupin. Let us now clap for his stupidity.
"How dare you!"
"Well, you can bla… I mean, shame on you Remus," Sirius Black said hoping Ms. Man wouldn't catch his flub. It was at this moment Peter Pettigrew busted through the doors briefly causing Nurse Ugly to forget about her recent insults.
"I see you two got the owl from Christina," Peter said. He looked at the nurse, but did so without shock or amazement. "Oh, hello. Please sir, I'd like to know where I could find Mr. and Mrs. James Potter?" The nurse's face grew red. She began to shake with fury while Peter kept on.
"You know, I don't believe I've seen many men in this field of work. Not that I'm mocking you in any way. Hell, I'd love to work with many women. That would…" Peter paused as he looked at the nurse who was about to explode. "Sir, are you alright?"
"Oh, I'm so glad you three made it," Christina yelled. James was biting his lip to keep from laughing. Remus and Sirius had a look of relief on their faces. Peter was still unaware of the situation at hand. Nurse Man was t-minus ten second to explode. "Well, uh, I don't know about you guys, but, um, I'm thirsty, err hungry," she was trying to make a story on the spot, something she was never really good at, "So, uh, I think we should go eat in the uh, um…"
"Dining Hall?" James helped.
"Yes, that is a good place"
"Yes, a designated area to eat is good." Remus said.
"Well, I'm not really hungry," replied a still clueless Peter said.
"Yes, you are," commanded Sirius.
"Thank you madam for your help," Christina said to the nurse putting emphasis on nurse. Peter looked crestfallen. The five walked rather quickly away from Nurse Man. Neither had a clue where they were going.
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Yes, I'm sorry that is the end of this chapter. Want more? You have to review. I got more chapters waiting to be typed. Oh, word to the wise, do not put Dawn in the dishwasher as a substitute for dish detergent unless you like big messes. Until next time kiddies!