Lost Soul
Part 3
By: Silverstar
Sorry for the wait everyone. I know, I know, I'm very mean for updating in such long intervals, but I promise that I'll try to be better from now on. Actually, I've been working on another Charmed fic that I really really like, but I told myself that I can't post it until I finish this one, so I'm trying. Okay, here's part three. I hope you all enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed or any of the characters. Sad, but true. I'd also like to take this time to honor my fellow writer and friend Guine-chan. May she rest in peace.
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*(PAIGE)*
The day had worn on and on, and I never got a moments rest, or a moments peace. After lunch Leo had brought me back to work and said he'd be back around five to drive me home. Sometimes that man could be so sweet. After I was back in the office I felt a little better, but I was still terribly jumpy. What killed me was that all of my friends, those at the office and those I talked to daily, had no idea what I was going through. They didn't know what was bothering me, I couldn't tell them, and that meant that I was alone...alone with my thoughts, alone with my feelings, and alone with my fears. By five o'clock I was exhausted...The stress from worrying all day was getting to me. I just wanted to go home, and drink in the protection that my sisters offered. I knew I was safe around them, and I wanted that comfort. I wanted to feel safe and I needed to feel safe. It was strange when you thought about it...ever since I got back from the cold prison last month I had wished to be alone, but...I found myself always walking in big crowds, never going out late at night, never walking to my car alone...I was drawn towards people as a form of protection. It was very ironic, when you thought about it.
"Ready Paige?" I jolted out of my thoughts when I heard the soft and concerned voice of Leo. Looking up, I saw him standing in front of my desk.
"Oh, yeah, just a minute," I replied as I stacked my papers in a pile and organized them a little for Monday. I guess I didn't get as much work done as I had hoped...*Sigh* Standing up, I grabbed my jacket and my purse and followed Leo out the door. As we walked towards my car I glimpsed over my shoulders and looked around the parking lot. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled up when I saw someone ahead of us and to the right, but I relaxed a little when I saw that it was just one of the social workers I worked with every day. I looked down a moment later when I felt something squeeze my hand and I found Leo's hand around mine. I smiled a little, knowing at that moment that nothing would or could happen to me as long as I was with Leo. He would protect me. We got to my car and I smiled at Leo getting in the drivers side of my small lime green Bug. It just didn't suit him. I got in the passenger's side, buckled my seat belt, and took a deep breath. We were on our way home, and I knew I wouldn't be able to relax until I saw the faces of my sisters and felt the manner's floor beneath my feet.
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*(PIPER)*
I walked around the kitchen, making sure everything was in order. The Salad was on the table, the iced tea was made, the parmigian chicken was in the oven, and the pasta was ready and waiting in the fridge.
"Piper, everything's fine, you can stop pacing now." I looked up at the sound of my little sister and found that indeed, I was pacing back and forth across the kitchen.
"Did you set the table?" I asked and I was answered with an exasperated sigh.
"Yes, I have, and you've asked me that question five times already," she replied as calmly as she could. Realizing that she was right, I smiled a little at my sister and sat down at the kitchen table. I looked up at Phoebe, who was standing in the doorway, blocking me from seeing into the hallway. "C'mon Piper, breathe with me," Phoebe joked and took a deep breath to indicate what I should do. I smiled at my little sister's antics, but did find myself taking a deep breath. I had to be calm and collected for Paige. Leo had gone to get her fifteen minutes ago and they'd be here in about ten minutes, maybe even less. "I just hope Cole gets here," Phoebe whispered and I looked up at her. That's right...Cole was suppose to be here an hour ago.
"I'm sure he'll be here any minute," I said, trying to calm my sister's worries.
"Yeah, I guess," she said, but continued to stand there, leaned against the right opening in the doorway, eyes on the floor.
"You rang?" I heard a deep voice ask as Cole shimmered in behind Phoebe and wrapped his arms around her middle. She squealed in surprise and then immediately turned around to face him. He stood there, looking as handsome as ever, with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. It made me yearn for Leo to be home soon. As I got up to put everything else on the table I saw the pair share a kiss before I heard what I knew was coming.
"And where were you?" Phoebe asked, a little anger in her voice.
"I'm sorry I was late," Cole said back and then led Phoebe into the living room. I peeked out the door to see him give her flowers and explain that a meeting ran late and there was nothing he could do. Knowing that my sister had just been playing with him, I laughed inwardly and returned to putting all my food on the table. At the sound of Paige's car pulling up in the driveway I ripped off my apron and hurriedly finished setting everything out. I sure hoped she would like everything...Actually, I just hopped she would eat something. She had been getting way to skinny lately...
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*(PAIGE)*
When we finally pulled up to the manner I was flooded with relief. The safety of my home was before me. I thought I had gotten past all of these feelings of wanting to stay barricaded in the house...I guess I was wrong. I quickly undid my seat belt, grabbed my purse, and hopped out of the car as Leo slammed his door shut. Following him towards the front door of our home, I let out a deep breath of relief. Moments later I was hanging my coat up on one of the coat hangers we have just inside the door and walking into the living room. When inside I saw Cole and Phoebe standing in the living room and a bundle of flowers on the table. Leo must've went into the kitchen, because when I glanced back he was gone.
"Paige!" Phoebe greeted as she rushed over to give me a hug. I gladly let my sister wrap her arms around me in a tight and protective embrace and returned it tenfold. As I stood there with my sister I let my fear and anxieties wash away to be replaced with...happiness. Yes, I was happy that I was here, I was alive, and I was loved. When I broke away from Phoebe I could tell she was surprised by how shaky I had seemed and how long I had continued to hug her, but I think she understood. I gave Phoebe a smile and she smiled back as Cole came forward and put his hand on my shoulder.
"You okay Paige?" he asked and as I looked up at him I realized that I was...or at least, I would be in time.
"Yeah, thanks," I said back as I nodded and looked over towards the kitchen to see Piper emerging with Leo behind her.
"Paige!" she said, a huge smile on her face, and I smiled back. I welcomed the long and much needed hug from my sister and smiled as she stepped back and squeezed my hand. "I hope you're hungry!" she said with enthusiasm and I nodded. "Good! I made chicken parmigiana, rolls, Phoebe made the salad, and I made coconut cream pie."
"Thanks, yeah, I'm hungry," I replied and followed my family to the table. As Piper filled up all of our plates and passed out drinks I looked around at my family. Just one year ago I hadn't known any of them, but now these were the people that I trusted the most. I truly was a lucky little witch.
"To Paige," Phoebe said, and raised her glass of iced tea. I laughed as the rest of them raised their glasses and I mine. What a family.
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*(PHOEBE)*
"To Paige," I called out, raising my glass and watching as my family did the same. I was taken aback when Paige actually laughed at me and then raised her glass as well. This dinner really had been a good idea. I hadn't heard Paige laugh since before... "To a wonderful, loving, and kind sister. May she always stay safe in our hearts."
"To a great sister-in-law too," Leo chimed in and I laughed when Cole stood up.
"To a fantastic lady with one of the most charming smiles and personalities." I raised my eyebrows at him and he stooped down to give me a kiss on the cheek. "I said one of," he whispered in my ears and I laughed as he pulled away and sat down. The dinner had begun and all was going well. I smiled over at my little sister when I found that she was actually eating Piper's food. Now, she didn't eat the whole thing or anything like that, but she had to have eaten at least half, which was more than I'd seen her eat since last month. I stood up to help Piper clear off the table and when we were alone in the kitchen I threw my arms around her.
"Piper, she's eating, she's eating!" I excitedly whispered and started jumping around the kitchen. Piper laughed at my antics as she got out plates and forks for the pie.
"I know," she said as I calmed down and picked up the coconut cream masterpiece.
"I told you this was a good idea," I whispered. "I told you everything would be fine." Piper gave me a look and I sighed. "Well, okay, I might have had some doubts in my head, but it's not like I voiced them or anything." Piper just smiled at me and I followed her towards the table with a little surprise behind my back. As Piper handed out plates and cut the pie I slid up behind Cole and placed what was in my hand on his neck.
"Wha!!!" he said as he jumped up in surprise and I giggled, holding up the cherry ice cream. He looked down at me and just shook his head as he pulled me close to him and started tickling me playfully. After a few moments he got the ice cream from me, dished some out on everyone's plate, and stored the rest in the freezer for later. I just laughed and started eating with the rest of my family, who had been watching us with amused grins. The night went on much like this. We talked, we laughed (mostly at Cole and me), and we enjoyed each other's company. After desert we all cleaned up. Paige even helped out, ignoring our insisting to sit down and relax. Around eight we were all sitting in the living room. I was snuggled up next to Cole, loving his warmth and loving him for it. Of course, he had to keep tickling me at odd moments, but that just added to the amusement of my sisters. Piper was next to Paige on the couch and Leo was sitting in the chair next to them. Life was...good.
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*(PAIGE)*
I sat there, surrounded by my family, and I felt like the luckiest and the safest girl in the world. There was no way my fears or nightmares could turn into reality with a family such as mine sitting around me. As I leaned next to Piper and got comfy in the couch, my sisters' chatter lulled me into a drowsy and peaceful state. Before I knew it, my head slowly dropped onto Piper's shoulder and my eyelids closed...
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*(PIPER)*
I looked over in surprise at my sister as I felt her head lean onto my shoulder. She was...asleep. The room hushed as we all just looked at Paige, and then I reached over and brushed her hair out of her face.
"I think today was harder on her then we'll ever know," I whispered and I leaned over towards Paige to make room for Phoebe as she squeezed beside me on the couch. I smiled when Phoebe leaned her head on my other shoulder and snuggled up to me on my other side. I rolled my eyes at her and looked at my husband. He just sat there, smiling at us, and at that moment I knew everything would work out.
"Should we put her upstairs?" Leo whispered over towards me and I shook my head.
"Let her sleep here for a little while," I whispered back and closed my eyes as I leaned my head on Phoebe's. Before I could stop myself, I had fallen asleep...
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*(PAIGE)*
*Shiver* It was...so cold. Wha...When I opened my eyes I gasped and looked around me in terror. It...it couldn't be...it just couldn't...
"Noooo!" I screamed as I jumped forward to run, but shackles had appeared around both of my wrists. I knew what was coming...it happened every time...The Yellonius appeared before me, holding a long and gleaming knife in his hand.
"It's time, Paige..." he hissed and I felt the tears pour from my eyes as I slowly slid to the floor, trying to get away from him.
"No...please," I cried out and put my hands out in front of me...
"aige...Paige..."
*****
My eyes popped open and I sat up with a start. Where...was I...?? I looked around to see Piper and Paige on either side of me...we were in the living room on the couch, and the house was dark except for one lamp light to my right. Suddenly feeling my stomach retch, I leaped to my unsteady feet with my hand covering my mouth, and ran for the bathroom. When I got there I slammed the door shut and managed to lock it as I leaped towards the toilet and felt my whole days worth of meals come out of me.
"Paige...Paige! Are you alright?" I heard Piper call as she knocked on the door. I took a deep breath as I flushed the toilet and leaned sitting against the wall. It was then that I realized that my face was wet. I had been crying in my sleep...probably talking too. My secret was out...they knew...This thought entered my mind, but it was quickly pushed away as the shivers of panic found their way up and down my spine...they always came after the dreams. No matter how many times I reassured myself that I was safe and that it was just a dream...I had lived it, and panic always came with these memories. Sitting against the wall, I held my legs up close to my body in a ball and started to cry. I couldn't help it...everything was a mess, and nothing would ever be the same. I thought things were different...last night I had such a great time...but with sleep came dreams and the hauntings in my subconscious mind. Why? At this thought I started to sob uncontrollably and when Leo orbed in I couldn't see him clearly.
"No! No!" I cried out, and started to get up to orb away.
"Paige, Paige, calm down. It's me...It's Leo," I heard him say calmly and clearly as he put his hand on my shoulder. I shied away at first, plastering myself up against the wall. When I looked at Leo and saw him clearly...the hurt and worried expression on his face...I lost it.
"Leo? Leo, open the door!" I heard Piper yell and I watched as Leo quickly went to unlock it. I slowly slid to the floor, holding my head in my hands, and again started to sob. I faintly heard the click of the door unlocking and sensed the presence of both my sisters. Why wouldn't the pain go away? Why...No...no...I...I just have to stay away...stay safe... NO! What...am I thinking...I'm falling to pieces...It's too late. I started to shiver uncontrollably, cry even harder, and rock back and forth. It was too much...too much.
"No..." I moaned when I felt something on my shoulder. I had to get away...had to run...Shoving myself off the ground, I ran in the direction of the door, blinded by tears. Suddenly, I ran into something and arms surrounded me. I struggled, but was in such a weak and vulnerable state that it was no use.
"Paige...Paige, listen to me! Can you hear me? Paige." I slowly shook my head to clear my mind and found that it was Piper that I had run into. Her arms were around me, holding me from running out the door. I looked at her in shock before glancing back at Leo and Phoebe who were kneeling on the floor. It was one of them who had touched my shoulder before. As I looked at my family, guilt and desperation rose up inside of me. "Paige...are you with us?" Piper asked softly and I turned my head towards my big sister. Guilt overflowed inside me as I looked into her eyes, and my legs gave way under my feet. I went down slowly with Piper holding me and breaking my fall.
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*(PIPER)*
I watched as my little sister broke down in front of me...It was tearing my heart into pieces, but I had to stay strong for her. I watched as Leo leaned down to see if Paige was hurt and Phoebe gently put her hand on Paige's shoulder. At her touch, Paige cried out and started to run. I held my ground and gently stopped Paige as she ran into me. Wrapping my arms around her, I kept her from leaving the bathroom and tried to get her mind back to this time...this place.
"Paige...Paige, listen to me! Can you hear me? Paige." I softly said, trying to jolt her back to reality. Luckily, it worked. Her eyes turned from scared and far-off to aware and surprised. I loosened my grip on her a little as she looked back at Phoebe and Leo. "Paige...are you with us?" I whispered, trying to make sure she wasn't going to run off. She looked back at me, and for a split second I saw 'Paige' in her eyes...she was there. I smiled at her, but grabbed at her in surprise as her legs gave way beneath her. I slowly broke her fall with my arms and slid down with her. Poor Paige... I looked up as Leo knelt beside me and put his hands over her.
"She's not hurt...physically at least," he whispered as he gently picked her up and we walked into the living room to lay her on the couch. "Now...can you tell me exactly what happened?" Leo asked and I nodded as I pulled a blanket up over Paige.
"I guess we all fell asleep and you boys left us down here..." I said and Leo nodded.
"We thought you'd get a better nights sleep if you stayed put." I smiled at my husband and looked over as Cole came walking down the stairs and towards Phoebe. She gladly welcomed his warm arms around her and I smiled a little at Cole's silent entrance. He always knew when to stay quiet.
"Anyway, I woke up around one when Paige was moving around in her sleep," I said.
"Piper woke up and nudged me awake," Phoebe said. "When I looked over she was crying hysterically in her sleep."
"And she was mumbling words...All we heard was 'no' before Phoebe and I started shaking her to wake her up," I said. "She looked around in surprise for a minute before she ran to the bathroom to throw-up. When we got to the door it was locked. That's when we got you." I looked over at Paige as I finished telling Leo what happened and I felt the tears threatening to overflow. "We should have seen this," I whispered.
"But...Piper, how could we have?" Leo asked as he wrapped his arms around me. "She seemed fine last night..."
"Leo, put two and two together. All the coffee, the getting up early, all of the laundry she's been doing...her tears were enough to get our blanket wet...She's been having these nightmares for a long time."
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*(PHOEBE)*
"A long time?" I asked with surprise. Piper looked over at me and nodded. Yes...it did make sense. "But...why wouldn't she tell us?" I asked as I looked over at Paige. Why would she keep this from us? We could have helped her...been there with her...we could have done something to help her rest easily.
"Why does any Halliwell keep a secret from the rest of the family?" Cole asked, and I looked up at him. "She did it for protection...at least, in her eyes it was protection. She didn't want you two or us guys worrying about her any more then we already were." I nodded at Cole's logic and mentally noted that I would have probably done the same thing.
"She must've been suffering so much," I whispered, walking over to Paige and sitting down next to he on the couch. "At least, more than I ever imagined."
"But we should have seen it coming," Piper insisted, walking over to sit next to me. "We felt her feelings, we knew what happened...I had nightmares based on what I knew. Paige lived it."
"Piper, you told Leo, Cole, and me about those dreams. We were able to help you. Paige never mentioned one word about a bad dream or a rough night," I told her, trying to convince m sister as well as myself that it wasn't our fault Paige was suffering alone.
"But-"
"That's enough," Leo said, interrupting Piper's rebuttal. "The important thing is that we be there for her in the future now that we know the extent of what she's going through." I nodded at Leo and watched as Piper slowly nodded her head, agreeing. "I think it's important that you two be here when she wakes up. Cole and I will wait in the kitchen." I nodded at Leo and watched as he left the room, Cole behind him. Sighing, I looked down at Paige and cursed at the tears that were threatening to fall down my cheeks.
"We need to be strong," I whispered and I smiled as Piper squeezed my hand.
"My thoughts exactly," she whispered over to me as she got up to get some cold water and a rag for Paige's head.
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*(PAIGE)*
The darkness was almost a savior to me...it was nothingness, and I could deal with nothingness a lot better than anything else. It was just so...peaceful. As the haziness started to recede I tried to collect my thoughts. Everything was jumbled...My eyes slowly opened and I looked up to see the blurred faces of my sisters. I squinted my eyes a little, closed them, and opened them again until I could see their faces clearly.
"Paige...are you with us? Are you here?" I heard Piper ask and I slowly nodded my head.
"Do you remember what happened?" Phoebe asked, and I looked at her with confusion. Why was I down here on the couch...What hap....Then, it hit me. My eyes widened and I could feel my heart start to race as the events formed in my mind. The panic returned along with the memories of the dream. I jumped to get up but Piper put her hands out and gently pushed me back down.
"You should stay down Paige, you just fainted," Piper said as she put a cool rag on my forehead. I took a deep breath as the coolness of the rag woke me up a little, but I could still feel my body shaking uncontrollably and it wouldn't be stopping anytime soon.
"...tea..." I whispered. "I need tea..." Piper nodded and then left from my vision. I opened my eyes as the rag was reapplied and looked up at Phoebe. She was holding herself together pretty well, considering. I was doing it too...The difference was that I had gotten lots of practice over the past month...All those nights of coming down for tea, not daring to cry and make noise in case someone should hear and come down to find me. Taking a deep breath, I again attempted to sit up, but this time Phoebe slowly helped me. "Thanks," I whispered and she nodded. We sat there for a few minutes in silence before my mind started to drift. Like every time before, I relived my dream in my mind, which brought out memories I didn't want to think about. I was jolted back to reality when I felt a pressure on my hand. Looking over, I saw Phoebe sitting next to me, her hand over mine. I smiled a little at her when I realized that I had let a lone tear fall down my cheek and I reached up to wipe it away. My eyes widened with greed and relief as a mug of tea was held out in front of me and I looked up at Piper. She wore a sad smile and a guilty expression. I gave her a small smile before reaching out with trembling hands for the mug. Once the warmth touched my skin I felt better and I gulped down some of the steaming hot liquid. Piper was now on my other side, and while I thought I would hate the moment Phoebe and Piper found out about my dreams, I actually felt somewhat relieved. I wasn't in it alone anymore. We sat there in silence for a long time, each sister on either side of me. I just took deep breaths and drank my tea, trying to collect myself like every other time before. When the mug was empty Piper took it from my still trembling hands and I sat back on the couch, hands on my forehead. Before I knew it my sisters were hugging me from either side and slowly, I took my hands from my forehead and returned the embrace.
"I'm...so sorry," I whispered as I felt the tears come...the tears I had been trying to hold back.
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*(PHOEBE)*
As I wrapped my arms around my sister I felt her shakiness, yet her stiffness. She choked out an apology, and my heart broke. What did she have to apologize for?
"You're crazy Paige," I whispered as she started to cry into Piper's and my own shoulder. "You have nothing to apologize for. It's us who are sorry. We should have been there for you." Yet again, I felt tears come to my eyes and as they started to fall I looked over at Piper. She was holding onto Paige for dear life and crying as well. I'm not sure how long we just sat there...holding Paige as she cried, and crying with her. Eventually, her tears stifled and with hers, ours. We gently laid Paige back on the couch and I brushed her hair out of her face.
"Do you want to tell us what happened? What's been happening?" Piper asked softly and I saw Paige give her a look full of fear. "It may make you feel better to get it off your chest," Piper said. I watched and waited as Paige finally shook her head yes and both Piper and I settled down next to her and gripped onto her hands.
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*(PAIGE)*
They were sitting there, waiting for me to tell my story...but I had no idea where to begin. So, I took a deep breath and started to just tell it like it was.
"After I got back from...well...after I got back from hell I was out of it for a while," I said and my sisters nodded. "I stayed in bed and just slept for a long time, and those were days where my sleep wasn't interrupted by anything. I just slept. After that though...When I started to get up and begin my life again...the dreams started. At least twice a week, sometimes more, I dreamed of the nightmare I had lived. It's been happening even more this past week...I'd wake up in the middle of the night, scared, alone, and miserable. At least four times I have had to change my sheets...but that was only when the dreams got bad and I'd cry and sweat in my sleep. Most of the time, I'd get up, take a shower, and drink many mugs of tea to calm my nerves. Just last night I got up at three and sat down here, trying to keep myself from shaking...I know it isn't real...it's only a dream...but I can't keep myself from being afraid...I...don't know why..." I trailed off as tears threatened to overflow from my eyes again. Both of my sisters squeezed my hands on either side and I was grateful for their support.
"Don't worry Paige, we'll get through this together," Piper said, and I looked over at her. "Now we know and we won't let you suffer alone. We'll fight this. After all, they're only dreams. Right after you got back I had nightmares too...but Leo, Phoebe, and Cole helped me through it, and those images haven't returned. We'll do that for you too." I looked at Piper with surprise and then over at Phoebe. She smiled at me and me at her.
"Thanks," I whispered.
"Now, let's get you up to bed," Piper said, and I nodded. Unfortunately, my body felt so weak... "Leo!" she called, and I saw both Leo and Cole walk in from the kitchen. I smiled a little up at Leo and held out my arms as he reached down and picked me up.
"Thanks," I whispered and he just smiled as we disappeared in blue and white lights. When we formed again we were in my bedroom and Leo gently laid me down on my bed and pulled the covers over me.
"You're not in this alone Paige," he said in his whitelighter voice and I nodded.
"I know that now...thanks Leo," I whispered and I looked over as Piper and Phoebe entered through the doorway.
"I'll see you in the morning," Leo whispered, and bent down to kiss me on the forehead. As he left I saw him peck Piper on the cheek and I smiled.
"Paige..." I looked over to see Phoebe standing next to me. "Don't worry, we're not going to leave you." I just nodded as both of my sisters slid under the covers and I held onto them. I wasn't alone...and in time, maybe the nightmares would leave me...maybe....
TO BE CONTINUED...
Sorry for the long wait on this one, but life is hectic right now. Oh, and I have to say that I now actually know where I'm going with the story line! Yay! Everyone be waiting for a demon appearance in the next chapter. Who will it be? You'll have to wait and find out. hee hee ^^ yes, I know I'm evil sometimes.
Part 3
By: Silverstar
Sorry for the wait everyone. I know, I know, I'm very mean for updating in such long intervals, but I promise that I'll try to be better from now on. Actually, I've been working on another Charmed fic that I really really like, but I told myself that I can't post it until I finish this one, so I'm trying. Okay, here's part three. I hope you all enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed or any of the characters. Sad, but true. I'd also like to take this time to honor my fellow writer and friend Guine-chan. May she rest in peace.
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*(PAIGE)*
The day had worn on and on, and I never got a moments rest, or a moments peace. After lunch Leo had brought me back to work and said he'd be back around five to drive me home. Sometimes that man could be so sweet. After I was back in the office I felt a little better, but I was still terribly jumpy. What killed me was that all of my friends, those at the office and those I talked to daily, had no idea what I was going through. They didn't know what was bothering me, I couldn't tell them, and that meant that I was alone...alone with my thoughts, alone with my feelings, and alone with my fears. By five o'clock I was exhausted...The stress from worrying all day was getting to me. I just wanted to go home, and drink in the protection that my sisters offered. I knew I was safe around them, and I wanted that comfort. I wanted to feel safe and I needed to feel safe. It was strange when you thought about it...ever since I got back from the cold prison last month I had wished to be alone, but...I found myself always walking in big crowds, never going out late at night, never walking to my car alone...I was drawn towards people as a form of protection. It was very ironic, when you thought about it.
"Ready Paige?" I jolted out of my thoughts when I heard the soft and concerned voice of Leo. Looking up, I saw him standing in front of my desk.
"Oh, yeah, just a minute," I replied as I stacked my papers in a pile and organized them a little for Monday. I guess I didn't get as much work done as I had hoped...*Sigh* Standing up, I grabbed my jacket and my purse and followed Leo out the door. As we walked towards my car I glimpsed over my shoulders and looked around the parking lot. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled up when I saw someone ahead of us and to the right, but I relaxed a little when I saw that it was just one of the social workers I worked with every day. I looked down a moment later when I felt something squeeze my hand and I found Leo's hand around mine. I smiled a little, knowing at that moment that nothing would or could happen to me as long as I was with Leo. He would protect me. We got to my car and I smiled at Leo getting in the drivers side of my small lime green Bug. It just didn't suit him. I got in the passenger's side, buckled my seat belt, and took a deep breath. We were on our way home, and I knew I wouldn't be able to relax until I saw the faces of my sisters and felt the manner's floor beneath my feet.
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*(PIPER)*
I walked around the kitchen, making sure everything was in order. The Salad was on the table, the iced tea was made, the parmigian chicken was in the oven, and the pasta was ready and waiting in the fridge.
"Piper, everything's fine, you can stop pacing now." I looked up at the sound of my little sister and found that indeed, I was pacing back and forth across the kitchen.
"Did you set the table?" I asked and I was answered with an exasperated sigh.
"Yes, I have, and you've asked me that question five times already," she replied as calmly as she could. Realizing that she was right, I smiled a little at my sister and sat down at the kitchen table. I looked up at Phoebe, who was standing in the doorway, blocking me from seeing into the hallway. "C'mon Piper, breathe with me," Phoebe joked and took a deep breath to indicate what I should do. I smiled at my little sister's antics, but did find myself taking a deep breath. I had to be calm and collected for Paige. Leo had gone to get her fifteen minutes ago and they'd be here in about ten minutes, maybe even less. "I just hope Cole gets here," Phoebe whispered and I looked up at her. That's right...Cole was suppose to be here an hour ago.
"I'm sure he'll be here any minute," I said, trying to calm my sister's worries.
"Yeah, I guess," she said, but continued to stand there, leaned against the right opening in the doorway, eyes on the floor.
"You rang?" I heard a deep voice ask as Cole shimmered in behind Phoebe and wrapped his arms around her middle. She squealed in surprise and then immediately turned around to face him. He stood there, looking as handsome as ever, with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. It made me yearn for Leo to be home soon. As I got up to put everything else on the table I saw the pair share a kiss before I heard what I knew was coming.
"And where were you?" Phoebe asked, a little anger in her voice.
"I'm sorry I was late," Cole said back and then led Phoebe into the living room. I peeked out the door to see him give her flowers and explain that a meeting ran late and there was nothing he could do. Knowing that my sister had just been playing with him, I laughed inwardly and returned to putting all my food on the table. At the sound of Paige's car pulling up in the driveway I ripped off my apron and hurriedly finished setting everything out. I sure hoped she would like everything...Actually, I just hopped she would eat something. She had been getting way to skinny lately...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*(PAIGE)*
When we finally pulled up to the manner I was flooded with relief. The safety of my home was before me. I thought I had gotten past all of these feelings of wanting to stay barricaded in the house...I guess I was wrong. I quickly undid my seat belt, grabbed my purse, and hopped out of the car as Leo slammed his door shut. Following him towards the front door of our home, I let out a deep breath of relief. Moments later I was hanging my coat up on one of the coat hangers we have just inside the door and walking into the living room. When inside I saw Cole and Phoebe standing in the living room and a bundle of flowers on the table. Leo must've went into the kitchen, because when I glanced back he was gone.
"Paige!" Phoebe greeted as she rushed over to give me a hug. I gladly let my sister wrap her arms around me in a tight and protective embrace and returned it tenfold. As I stood there with my sister I let my fear and anxieties wash away to be replaced with...happiness. Yes, I was happy that I was here, I was alive, and I was loved. When I broke away from Phoebe I could tell she was surprised by how shaky I had seemed and how long I had continued to hug her, but I think she understood. I gave Phoebe a smile and she smiled back as Cole came forward and put his hand on my shoulder.
"You okay Paige?" he asked and as I looked up at him I realized that I was...or at least, I would be in time.
"Yeah, thanks," I said back as I nodded and looked over towards the kitchen to see Piper emerging with Leo behind her.
"Paige!" she said, a huge smile on her face, and I smiled back. I welcomed the long and much needed hug from my sister and smiled as she stepped back and squeezed my hand. "I hope you're hungry!" she said with enthusiasm and I nodded. "Good! I made chicken parmigiana, rolls, Phoebe made the salad, and I made coconut cream pie."
"Thanks, yeah, I'm hungry," I replied and followed my family to the table. As Piper filled up all of our plates and passed out drinks I looked around at my family. Just one year ago I hadn't known any of them, but now these were the people that I trusted the most. I truly was a lucky little witch.
"To Paige," Phoebe said, and raised her glass of iced tea. I laughed as the rest of them raised their glasses and I mine. What a family.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*(PHOEBE)*
"To Paige," I called out, raising my glass and watching as my family did the same. I was taken aback when Paige actually laughed at me and then raised her glass as well. This dinner really had been a good idea. I hadn't heard Paige laugh since before... "To a wonderful, loving, and kind sister. May she always stay safe in our hearts."
"To a great sister-in-law too," Leo chimed in and I laughed when Cole stood up.
"To a fantastic lady with one of the most charming smiles and personalities." I raised my eyebrows at him and he stooped down to give me a kiss on the cheek. "I said one of," he whispered in my ears and I laughed as he pulled away and sat down. The dinner had begun and all was going well. I smiled over at my little sister when I found that she was actually eating Piper's food. Now, she didn't eat the whole thing or anything like that, but she had to have eaten at least half, which was more than I'd seen her eat since last month. I stood up to help Piper clear off the table and when we were alone in the kitchen I threw my arms around her.
"Piper, she's eating, she's eating!" I excitedly whispered and started jumping around the kitchen. Piper laughed at my antics as she got out plates and forks for the pie.
"I know," she said as I calmed down and picked up the coconut cream masterpiece.
"I told you this was a good idea," I whispered. "I told you everything would be fine." Piper gave me a look and I sighed. "Well, okay, I might have had some doubts in my head, but it's not like I voiced them or anything." Piper just smiled at me and I followed her towards the table with a little surprise behind my back. As Piper handed out plates and cut the pie I slid up behind Cole and placed what was in my hand on his neck.
"Wha!!!" he said as he jumped up in surprise and I giggled, holding up the cherry ice cream. He looked down at me and just shook his head as he pulled me close to him and started tickling me playfully. After a few moments he got the ice cream from me, dished some out on everyone's plate, and stored the rest in the freezer for later. I just laughed and started eating with the rest of my family, who had been watching us with amused grins. The night went on much like this. We talked, we laughed (mostly at Cole and me), and we enjoyed each other's company. After desert we all cleaned up. Paige even helped out, ignoring our insisting to sit down and relax. Around eight we were all sitting in the living room. I was snuggled up next to Cole, loving his warmth and loving him for it. Of course, he had to keep tickling me at odd moments, but that just added to the amusement of my sisters. Piper was next to Paige on the couch and Leo was sitting in the chair next to them. Life was...good.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*(PAIGE)*
I sat there, surrounded by my family, and I felt like the luckiest and the safest girl in the world. There was no way my fears or nightmares could turn into reality with a family such as mine sitting around me. As I leaned next to Piper and got comfy in the couch, my sisters' chatter lulled me into a drowsy and peaceful state. Before I knew it, my head slowly dropped onto Piper's shoulder and my eyelids closed...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*(PIPER)*
I looked over in surprise at my sister as I felt her head lean onto my shoulder. She was...asleep. The room hushed as we all just looked at Paige, and then I reached over and brushed her hair out of her face.
"I think today was harder on her then we'll ever know," I whispered and I leaned over towards Paige to make room for Phoebe as she squeezed beside me on the couch. I smiled when Phoebe leaned her head on my other shoulder and snuggled up to me on my other side. I rolled my eyes at her and looked at my husband. He just sat there, smiling at us, and at that moment I knew everything would work out.
"Should we put her upstairs?" Leo whispered over towards me and I shook my head.
"Let her sleep here for a little while," I whispered back and closed my eyes as I leaned my head on Phoebe's. Before I could stop myself, I had fallen asleep...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*(PAIGE)*
*Shiver* It was...so cold. Wha...When I opened my eyes I gasped and looked around me in terror. It...it couldn't be...it just couldn't...
"Noooo!" I screamed as I jumped forward to run, but shackles had appeared around both of my wrists. I knew what was coming...it happened every time...The Yellonius appeared before me, holding a long and gleaming knife in his hand.
"It's time, Paige..." he hissed and I felt the tears pour from my eyes as I slowly slid to the floor, trying to get away from him.
"No...please," I cried out and put my hands out in front of me...
"aige...Paige..."
*****
My eyes popped open and I sat up with a start. Where...was I...?? I looked around to see Piper and Paige on either side of me...we were in the living room on the couch, and the house was dark except for one lamp light to my right. Suddenly feeling my stomach retch, I leaped to my unsteady feet with my hand covering my mouth, and ran for the bathroom. When I got there I slammed the door shut and managed to lock it as I leaped towards the toilet and felt my whole days worth of meals come out of me.
"Paige...Paige! Are you alright?" I heard Piper call as she knocked on the door. I took a deep breath as I flushed the toilet and leaned sitting against the wall. It was then that I realized that my face was wet. I had been crying in my sleep...probably talking too. My secret was out...they knew...This thought entered my mind, but it was quickly pushed away as the shivers of panic found their way up and down my spine...they always came after the dreams. No matter how many times I reassured myself that I was safe and that it was just a dream...I had lived it, and panic always came with these memories. Sitting against the wall, I held my legs up close to my body in a ball and started to cry. I couldn't help it...everything was a mess, and nothing would ever be the same. I thought things were different...last night I had such a great time...but with sleep came dreams and the hauntings in my subconscious mind. Why? At this thought I started to sob uncontrollably and when Leo orbed in I couldn't see him clearly.
"No! No!" I cried out, and started to get up to orb away.
"Paige, Paige, calm down. It's me...It's Leo," I heard him say calmly and clearly as he put his hand on my shoulder. I shied away at first, plastering myself up against the wall. When I looked at Leo and saw him clearly...the hurt and worried expression on his face...I lost it.
"Leo? Leo, open the door!" I heard Piper yell and I watched as Leo quickly went to unlock it. I slowly slid to the floor, holding my head in my hands, and again started to sob. I faintly heard the click of the door unlocking and sensed the presence of both my sisters. Why wouldn't the pain go away? Why...No...no...I...I just have to stay away...stay safe... NO! What...am I thinking...I'm falling to pieces...It's too late. I started to shiver uncontrollably, cry even harder, and rock back and forth. It was too much...too much.
"No..." I moaned when I felt something on my shoulder. I had to get away...had to run...Shoving myself off the ground, I ran in the direction of the door, blinded by tears. Suddenly, I ran into something and arms surrounded me. I struggled, but was in such a weak and vulnerable state that it was no use.
"Paige...Paige, listen to me! Can you hear me? Paige." I slowly shook my head to clear my mind and found that it was Piper that I had run into. Her arms were around me, holding me from running out the door. I looked at her in shock before glancing back at Leo and Phoebe who were kneeling on the floor. It was one of them who had touched my shoulder before. As I looked at my family, guilt and desperation rose up inside of me. "Paige...are you with us?" Piper asked softly and I turned my head towards my big sister. Guilt overflowed inside me as I looked into her eyes, and my legs gave way under my feet. I went down slowly with Piper holding me and breaking my fall.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*(PIPER)*
I watched as my little sister broke down in front of me...It was tearing my heart into pieces, but I had to stay strong for her. I watched as Leo leaned down to see if Paige was hurt and Phoebe gently put her hand on Paige's shoulder. At her touch, Paige cried out and started to run. I held my ground and gently stopped Paige as she ran into me. Wrapping my arms around her, I kept her from leaving the bathroom and tried to get her mind back to this time...this place.
"Paige...Paige, listen to me! Can you hear me? Paige." I softly said, trying to jolt her back to reality. Luckily, it worked. Her eyes turned from scared and far-off to aware and surprised. I loosened my grip on her a little as she looked back at Phoebe and Leo. "Paige...are you with us?" I whispered, trying to make sure she wasn't going to run off. She looked back at me, and for a split second I saw 'Paige' in her eyes...she was there. I smiled at her, but grabbed at her in surprise as her legs gave way beneath her. I slowly broke her fall with my arms and slid down with her. Poor Paige... I looked up as Leo knelt beside me and put his hands over her.
"She's not hurt...physically at least," he whispered as he gently picked her up and we walked into the living room to lay her on the couch. "Now...can you tell me exactly what happened?" Leo asked and I nodded as I pulled a blanket up over Paige.
"I guess we all fell asleep and you boys left us down here..." I said and Leo nodded.
"We thought you'd get a better nights sleep if you stayed put." I smiled at my husband and looked over as Cole came walking down the stairs and towards Phoebe. She gladly welcomed his warm arms around her and I smiled a little at Cole's silent entrance. He always knew when to stay quiet.
"Anyway, I woke up around one when Paige was moving around in her sleep," I said.
"Piper woke up and nudged me awake," Phoebe said. "When I looked over she was crying hysterically in her sleep."
"And she was mumbling words...All we heard was 'no' before Phoebe and I started shaking her to wake her up," I said. "She looked around in surprise for a minute before she ran to the bathroom to throw-up. When we got to the door it was locked. That's when we got you." I looked over at Paige as I finished telling Leo what happened and I felt the tears threatening to overflow. "We should have seen this," I whispered.
"But...Piper, how could we have?" Leo asked as he wrapped his arms around me. "She seemed fine last night..."
"Leo, put two and two together. All the coffee, the getting up early, all of the laundry she's been doing...her tears were enough to get our blanket wet...She's been having these nightmares for a long time."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*(PHOEBE)*
"A long time?" I asked with surprise. Piper looked over at me and nodded. Yes...it did make sense. "But...why wouldn't she tell us?" I asked as I looked over at Paige. Why would she keep this from us? We could have helped her...been there with her...we could have done something to help her rest easily.
"Why does any Halliwell keep a secret from the rest of the family?" Cole asked, and I looked up at him. "She did it for protection...at least, in her eyes it was protection. She didn't want you two or us guys worrying about her any more then we already were." I nodded at Cole's logic and mentally noted that I would have probably done the same thing.
"She must've been suffering so much," I whispered, walking over to Paige and sitting down next to he on the couch. "At least, more than I ever imagined."
"But we should have seen it coming," Piper insisted, walking over to sit next to me. "We felt her feelings, we knew what happened...I had nightmares based on what I knew. Paige lived it."
"Piper, you told Leo, Cole, and me about those dreams. We were able to help you. Paige never mentioned one word about a bad dream or a rough night," I told her, trying to convince m sister as well as myself that it wasn't our fault Paige was suffering alone.
"But-"
"That's enough," Leo said, interrupting Piper's rebuttal. "The important thing is that we be there for her in the future now that we know the extent of what she's going through." I nodded at Leo and watched as Piper slowly nodded her head, agreeing. "I think it's important that you two be here when she wakes up. Cole and I will wait in the kitchen." I nodded at Leo and watched as he left the room, Cole behind him. Sighing, I looked down at Paige and cursed at the tears that were threatening to fall down my cheeks.
"We need to be strong," I whispered and I smiled as Piper squeezed my hand.
"My thoughts exactly," she whispered over to me as she got up to get some cold water and a rag for Paige's head.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*(PAIGE)*
The darkness was almost a savior to me...it was nothingness, and I could deal with nothingness a lot better than anything else. It was just so...peaceful. As the haziness started to recede I tried to collect my thoughts. Everything was jumbled...My eyes slowly opened and I looked up to see the blurred faces of my sisters. I squinted my eyes a little, closed them, and opened them again until I could see their faces clearly.
"Paige...are you with us? Are you here?" I heard Piper ask and I slowly nodded my head.
"Do you remember what happened?" Phoebe asked, and I looked at her with confusion. Why was I down here on the couch...What hap....Then, it hit me. My eyes widened and I could feel my heart start to race as the events formed in my mind. The panic returned along with the memories of the dream. I jumped to get up but Piper put her hands out and gently pushed me back down.
"You should stay down Paige, you just fainted," Piper said as she put a cool rag on my forehead. I took a deep breath as the coolness of the rag woke me up a little, but I could still feel my body shaking uncontrollably and it wouldn't be stopping anytime soon.
"...tea..." I whispered. "I need tea..." Piper nodded and then left from my vision. I opened my eyes as the rag was reapplied and looked up at Phoebe. She was holding herself together pretty well, considering. I was doing it too...The difference was that I had gotten lots of practice over the past month...All those nights of coming down for tea, not daring to cry and make noise in case someone should hear and come down to find me. Taking a deep breath, I again attempted to sit up, but this time Phoebe slowly helped me. "Thanks," I whispered and she nodded. We sat there for a few minutes in silence before my mind started to drift. Like every time before, I relived my dream in my mind, which brought out memories I didn't want to think about. I was jolted back to reality when I felt a pressure on my hand. Looking over, I saw Phoebe sitting next to me, her hand over mine. I smiled a little at her when I realized that I had let a lone tear fall down my cheek and I reached up to wipe it away. My eyes widened with greed and relief as a mug of tea was held out in front of me and I looked up at Piper. She wore a sad smile and a guilty expression. I gave her a small smile before reaching out with trembling hands for the mug. Once the warmth touched my skin I felt better and I gulped down some of the steaming hot liquid. Piper was now on my other side, and while I thought I would hate the moment Phoebe and Piper found out about my dreams, I actually felt somewhat relieved. I wasn't in it alone anymore. We sat there in silence for a long time, each sister on either side of me. I just took deep breaths and drank my tea, trying to collect myself like every other time before. When the mug was empty Piper took it from my still trembling hands and I sat back on the couch, hands on my forehead. Before I knew it my sisters were hugging me from either side and slowly, I took my hands from my forehead and returned the embrace.
"I'm...so sorry," I whispered as I felt the tears come...the tears I had been trying to hold back.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*(PHOEBE)*
As I wrapped my arms around my sister I felt her shakiness, yet her stiffness. She choked out an apology, and my heart broke. What did she have to apologize for?
"You're crazy Paige," I whispered as she started to cry into Piper's and my own shoulder. "You have nothing to apologize for. It's us who are sorry. We should have been there for you." Yet again, I felt tears come to my eyes and as they started to fall I looked over at Piper. She was holding onto Paige for dear life and crying as well. I'm not sure how long we just sat there...holding Paige as she cried, and crying with her. Eventually, her tears stifled and with hers, ours. We gently laid Paige back on the couch and I brushed her hair out of her face.
"Do you want to tell us what happened? What's been happening?" Piper asked softly and I saw Paige give her a look full of fear. "It may make you feel better to get it off your chest," Piper said. I watched and waited as Paige finally shook her head yes and both Piper and I settled down next to her and gripped onto her hands.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
*(PAIGE)*
They were sitting there, waiting for me to tell my story...but I had no idea where to begin. So, I took a deep breath and started to just tell it like it was.
"After I got back from...well...after I got back from hell I was out of it for a while," I said and my sisters nodded. "I stayed in bed and just slept for a long time, and those were days where my sleep wasn't interrupted by anything. I just slept. After that though...When I started to get up and begin my life again...the dreams started. At least twice a week, sometimes more, I dreamed of the nightmare I had lived. It's been happening even more this past week...I'd wake up in the middle of the night, scared, alone, and miserable. At least four times I have had to change my sheets...but that was only when the dreams got bad and I'd cry and sweat in my sleep. Most of the time, I'd get up, take a shower, and drink many mugs of tea to calm my nerves. Just last night I got up at three and sat down here, trying to keep myself from shaking...I know it isn't real...it's only a dream...but I can't keep myself from being afraid...I...don't know why..." I trailed off as tears threatened to overflow from my eyes again. Both of my sisters squeezed my hands on either side and I was grateful for their support.
"Don't worry Paige, we'll get through this together," Piper said, and I looked over at her. "Now we know and we won't let you suffer alone. We'll fight this. After all, they're only dreams. Right after you got back I had nightmares too...but Leo, Phoebe, and Cole helped me through it, and those images haven't returned. We'll do that for you too." I looked at Piper with surprise and then over at Phoebe. She smiled at me and me at her.
"Thanks," I whispered.
"Now, let's get you up to bed," Piper said, and I nodded. Unfortunately, my body felt so weak... "Leo!" she called, and I saw both Leo and Cole walk in from the kitchen. I smiled a little up at Leo and held out my arms as he reached down and picked me up.
"Thanks," I whispered and he just smiled as we disappeared in blue and white lights. When we formed again we were in my bedroom and Leo gently laid me down on my bed and pulled the covers over me.
"You're not in this alone Paige," he said in his whitelighter voice and I nodded.
"I know that now...thanks Leo," I whispered and I looked over as Piper and Phoebe entered through the doorway.
"I'll see you in the morning," Leo whispered, and bent down to kiss me on the forehead. As he left I saw him peck Piper on the cheek and I smiled.
"Paige..." I looked over to see Phoebe standing next to me. "Don't worry, we're not going to leave you." I just nodded as both of my sisters slid under the covers and I held onto them. I wasn't alone...and in time, maybe the nightmares would leave me...maybe....
TO BE CONTINUED...
Sorry for the long wait on this one, but life is hectic right now. Oh, and I have to say that I now actually know where I'm going with the story line! Yay! Everyone be waiting for a demon appearance in the next chapter. Who will it be? You'll have to wait and find out. hee hee ^^ yes, I know I'm evil sometimes.