Title: Kittens in the House of Crazy
Author: My glasses are shiny.
Archive: NONE *grumbles*
Warnings: Humor, Humor, Evil Aya's head voice, and his magical TV set.
Summary: They boys get a mission and Aya takes it alone out of sheer boredom. He needs to keep himself entertained until then.
Author Notes: This story was supposed to be serious, it started off of an epilogue that I had started for a dark angsty story but it kind went off of the story line. Oops. Yes there are Yaoi hintings in this story, and there probably will never be any Lemon scenes or anything because I suck at writing them, but I bet I could figure out a way to make sex humorous with the weiss katchens. *evil grin*. Oh yes Twenty points to whoever guesses which movie I refer to in this story. Oh, and on another note, REVIEW DAMNIT!
Disclaimers: There is a favorite movie of mine quoted in this story, its not mine. I didnt produce it. I didn't direct I didn't even animate any part of it. Though I did pay for the VHS. Also Weiss Kreuz isn't mine it belongs to a bunch of people with more money than me. Though in my universe I have a mansion that is full of little sex kittens, the weiss boys included, plus a certain schuldig and the man with the shiny glasses. Who both happen to be in a cage upstairs right now. *runs away*.
Chapter One: Aya has a Magical TV and Youji Prances.
"Warriors of light who move in the shadows change the tomarrow of these dark beasts."
The voice of the computerized Persia faded slowly into blackness and left us four members of Weiß standing alone in the room.
"Unless there aren't any beautiful women I won't do it."
"Youji-kun!"
"Well I had a nice long night away from here planned and I won't miss that for a mission without any..." Finishing his sentance by blowing the remnants of smoke out of his lungs, he placed his lanky arm on top of Omi's head using him for a perch.
"What's the matter bishounen, jealous?"
Blushing crimson he scampered over to his computer to begin the before mission stuff. Or according to Youji, thats what it was called.
"Let me do it," Bringing the most attention to myself, I had no idea why I had just spoken up to take the mission. Maybe it was my particularly fowl mood that evening, and a little bone scraping sword action was what I needed to cheer me up. Me bloodthirsty?
"Aya-kun maybe you shouldn't take all of these missions by yourself. Have Ken-kun go with you."
Ken Looking a little ruffled under the feathers replies.
"Omi, maybe I didn't want to take this mission, and I most certainly wouldn't want to take the mission with him."
Maybe Ken was angry with me or maybe the whole world doesn't revolve around me and he is treating everyone like shit because he has his little schoolboy crush for Omi that he doesn't know what do with. I know I shouldn't tease him for it but....
"Hidaka maybe you should try and concentrate on the mission at hand and stop acting like a love struck schoolboy and get your head out of your ass."
Oops...
"Aya...you bastard!"
Lunging at me he moved his hands out in a motion to strangle me, and lets just say the I wiped the floor with his ass. Save us some precious story telling time.
Grunting he pulled himself up and carried his sorry ass upstairs. Like the poor son of a bitch that he is.
Snort.
"Did I miss something?" As Youji puts his genius two cents in.
"Does Ken have a girlfriend?" Ever the intelligent type.
"I don't know Youji, why don't you go find out."
Getting that evil I am youji, here I go to stir up some trouble and then get drunk, get my ass kicked then come home and sleep in till noon look on his face™. He pranced, yes Youji prances, upstairs to find Ken.
I know what you are thinking, yes I have a sardonic sense of humor to send Youji upstairs on false pretences to most certain death or ass whipping, but hell I'm a bored sadistic bringer of death.
Following Youji's prancing I look over at Omi whom I am surprised to see through this whole time hasn't even said one word or commented on the situation. Walking, I don't prance, over to Omi I look down at his face and see a great crimson blush smeared all over his features. Well didn't this just up the interesting iota? Yes, it did. I shouldn't mess with minds but even though I can't read and manipulate them with my own. I have to do the best I can with what I have, which at the moment seems to be a lot. Goodie Toys.
"Omi, why is your face all red?"
Silence.
"Omi." I gently prod him on the shoulder.
He jumps five feet in the air like he just got done watching that old horror flick, what is it called again? Oh yeah, godzilla. Odd.
"Yes, Aya-kun."
"I asked you a question, why is your face all red?"
"Must be hot in here."
The magical TV in my brain just switched on and the National Geographic channel is playing. Look a Lions of the Serengeti program. The poor defenseless gazelle with shaggy blonde hair, and the savage lion with red eartails. Stalk. Stalk. As the rare eartails lion goes in for the kill.
"Feels fine to me, maybe you should go upstairs into Kudou's room, it is quite cool in there."
The lion is only ten yards away and breaks out into a run...
Bringing my voice down a notch, I lean closer to his ear.
"Though with the combined body heat of the both of you it might be too hot for you up there."
The Gazelle with the shaggy blonde hair never saw it coming. I am an evil evil, sexy, evil, bored bringer of death.
He audibly gulps as his face gets even redder. He is sputtering now.
"What do you mean Aya-kun?"
I am visibly rolling my eyes now, he's innocent but not that innocent.
"I think you know what I mean, but the question remains."
Should I? Am I this evil. Oh yes, yes I am. Oh did I also mention Sexy as hell.
"What Question Aya-kun?"
"Would you know how to go about it?"
A total look of horror crosses the poor things face. Marks off bingo card. That is another one for looks on the cute little bishounen's face bingo, I am loving this.
"Aya...."
My head voice is laughing, MWAHAHAHA HA HA HA ha.
"Well would you Omi? I daresay that an cute little thing like you wouldn't have troubles getting into Ken the Dunce's pants."
GOAL!
"....ummm well...I had an...idea....but....ano..."
Okay time to be nice... but look here comes my little shoulder devil and my shoulder angel. Last time they showed up it was pandemonium.
A figure appears on my shoulder with a white robe, a harp and a halo floating above his tiny head.
"You aren't just going to let him die like that are you?"
"Oh, my shoulder angel."
I had just finished with a mission and the target was laying on the ground dying slowly choking for air. It's fun to watch.
All of a sudden another figure appears this time on my other shoulder and this one all dressed in red spandex with a tail, horns and a pitchfork. They both look like tiny renditions of me. Complete with eartails.
"Don't listen to that guy, he's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness, I'm gonna lead you down the path that rocks!"
The angel with an air of superiority begins to bicker with the little devil man.
"Oh Come off it!"
"You Come off it!" My shoulder devil replies.
"You."
"You."
"You." The Angel replies.
With a supperior smirk the devil replies. "You, infinity."
Getting a look of seething anger and frustration on his face my little shoulder angel grasps his harp tightly bending it to the point as to where it almost breaks.
The devil snaps his fingers, and with a ball of fire a pair of reading glasses and a long scroll list appears in his hands.
"Listen up Aya, I got three good reasons why you should just walk away."
"One," pointing at the angel he states. "Look at that guy, he's got that sissy stringy music thing."
Getting even angrier the angel replies. "We've been through this, it's a harp. YOU KNOW THAT!"
Pointing from the harp to the white robe the devil speaks again. "Right, that's a harp, and that's a dress."
"ROBE!"
My shoulder devil jumps down to the executive desk in front of me.
"Reason number Two!" The devil bends down and begins to do handstand push-ups one handed.
"Look what I can do, ha ha ha."
Getting a total look of confusion on my face I look down and say,
"What does that have to do with anythin....." Only to get interupted by my shoulder angel.
"No, No, He's got a point."
Getting thouroughly confused and annoyed at this whole confrontation I start to wish that they would just leave.
"Be gone, you're confusing me. So however I get rid of you guys."
"That works." They replied and were gone in little puffs of smoke.
Sighing I walked out of the room, the man already having passed away during the argument.
So the arrival of my little shoulder impliments has left me in an even fowler mood, and expressing this I just kinda nudge them off onto the floor, where splat! They meet an untimely end. Maybe I nudged them a little too hard. Oh well.
I decide that the nicest I can possibly be in this situation is to just leave the room, well before I can say something I might regret but probably won't.