Disclaimer : Mankin © Hiroyuki Takei; Simon © Suede
Author's note : Finally, the third chapter's up!!! Thank goodness~ ~ (+_+) Thanks for y'all reviewers! m(_ _)m Hey, if you don't mind please take my quiz bout Mankin and vote for me ^-^ at Quizilla.com try 'search'. My ID is DeadcupiD.
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Where did my past which full of friends go?
Where did my dream to live an easy life go?
Where did my easy-going disposition go?
Where did my former self go?
Is this me is truly myself?
May I live as myself?
May I?
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I'll open my mind deep inside yes I know its blue------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hush, emptiness; no one's here. I'm fed up already, thinking and thinking. I admit that I don't like to think heavy stuffs. In fact, I hate thinking. But, whether I want to or not, when I'm alone, those thoughts back to haunt my mind. And they begin devouring my awareness; inviting me to the shadiness. Now, I feel like I want to sleep forever. A still and peaceful sleep and I don't have to wake up anymore…
RRRRRRRRR…
The ring of the telephone in the midst of this loneliness caught my soul; taking me back to reality. Somewhat reluctantly, I forced my feet to step and answered it. "Yoh," so it's Anna, "please pick me up at the station. It's raining and I forgot to bring an umbrella." I glanced at the window. Raining, indeed, but it's only drizzling. It doesn't really matter though; she's merely gonna wet a bit. Nevertheless, I was too tired to argue with her so I just granted her request. "Fine," I said then hung up. I calmly wore my jacket, but firstly took her usual raincoat from her room. When I was walking to the garage where my motorbike is, I felt raindrops which came down more and more hard showered my head, so I lifted my jacket's cap (a/n: 'k! I dunno what's 'tudung' in English!! Don't sue me please ^^;) and walked again.
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No one believed you when you said your heart was blue------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Over here!" she waved her hand in order that I could find her among the crowd. I stopped right beside her then gave her the raincoat. She promptly put it on and sat back of me. Without saying a thing, I started. I drove it slow; not that I'm afraid she'd fall, she's the one who doesn't want herself to fall. Actually, I don't care whether she'd fall or not; I really wish to increase the speed and leave her sprawl on the street. She's alive or dead, none of my business, as long as I'm freed from her. But on second thought, I can't do that. Cos if I DO kill my fiancée, I guess my family won't simply sit tight! Darn, I really hate thinking! Then why should I think of shits like these?! A slight of jerk scattered my daydreams. I believed I'd just passed a traffic-bump without braking. Her arms that were around my waist since some times ago, when I alerted, her embrace became tighter. Well…probably that jerk was too strong, I've no idea…Suddenly I felt strange; it's too taut! Is she tryin to kill me or what?! I looked at her in a flash from the corner of my eyes and realized that she'd taken off her raincoat. Wondering, I asked rather loud, "Where's yer damn raincoat?! You'll get sick if you don't wear it! What d'ya want?!" She put down my jacket's cap then whispered into my ear, "you…"
She moved her mouth to my earlobe and nibbled on it, sending shivers down my spine. I strengthened my grab on the handle as her tongue caressed my earlobe. Hang on, Yoh, hang on…you can't lose yer self-control at this place!! In the middle of…I looked around. Hey, nobody seems here, apparently we've gone by the town and busy places. Besides, the sky's dark cos it's clouded over and this quite-heavy rain blurs the vision. So this means…She unzipped my jacket and tenderly slid her delicate hand. Unfortunately…or fortunately, I didn't button up my shirt, as usual, so to speak my chest was completely bare. She ran her fingers over my chest in a rotary motion and pressed her soaked torso against my back even more closely. That's when I aware of something. "Goddammit…Anna, you're not wearing your bra?!" yelled me. "Shh," she breathed, "what's the big deal?" She caused a moan out from my throat by licking my neck from behind. Her clearly felt nipples added the ecstasy. Shit, I can't stand my passion any longer! I wanna kiss her; I wanna touch her; I wanna fuck her here on the spot bare!! As if the heaven heard my prayer, the gate at a railroad crossing went down, blocking the way. I put on the brakes and, with my right hand, I held the left handle to prevent the motorbike from falling while I shifted half of my upper body to the rear. Reacting, she captured my lips torridly in hers. The kiss had neither mildness nor warmth; it was deep, desirous and so demanding. I played my tongue roughly in her mouth as she groaned from the friction. My left hand smoothly rubbed her thigh then traveled up to her slender waist, slipped under her skirt. She changed the place of her arms from my body to my neck at the same time as her teeth bit my nether lip. She took my tongue and began sucking it, seducing me greatly.
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Simon, are you somewhere in my soul? Are you nothing but a notion?------------------------------------------------------------------------
God, I really can't take it anymore!! I want her!! I'm dying for her!! If I take her virginity away, is it okay?? …I guess it's not a problem since she's gonna be my wife…whether I take it now or then, there's no disparity. But…will she get mad?? I mean, well…at the first time, she did understood my outburst…she thought that it's normal cos I am, after all, a boy. However, the one who is losing restraint now is her; a GIRL! Personally, I never expect a girl to breakloose, especially Anna! Come to think of it, this event seems strange on the whole…I just can't picture her doing this! She actually WON'T do this if she IS the same Anna! The Anna whom I KNOW has too much dignity to humiliate herself like this! The Anna whom I KNOW WILL slap me if I kiss her! The Anna whom I KNOW WILL and IS GOING TO KILL ME if I slip my hand under her skirt and place it ON her WAIST!! THAT is the Anna I know!! Therefore, who is THIS Anna?! This isn't MY Anna!! This is CERTAINLY NOT her!!! Where IS she?!!
Snapped out of my reverie, I gasped for air and grew distant from her. I back to my position, rousing her curiosity. "Anything wrong, Yoh?" she inquired. "Yeah," replied me, "you are." She blinked, "And that means?" "Please, Anna, this isn't you…" I sighed, "Just where's yer pride, huh?" Probably, she offended by my words cos she said, "Oh, is it? Mr. La-di-da? Then how bout ya?" "Me? What has it got to do with me?!" I retorted. "YOU, are the one who kissed me first and ALMOST raped me! YOU, are the one who got mad all of a sudden and grumbled like a grumpy ol' man! YOU, are the one who made decisions as you wish! YOU, are the one who showed yer true self but yet jeer at mine! This IS the other side of me, Yoh, just exactly like the one you revealed yesterday; the one you have inside you! I know that you wanna show your greatness and want to do anything as you please since you're the king, but if you can't respect other's feelings then how can you expect other people to respect you?!!" she angrily shouted. A quarrel unexpectedly flared up between us. "Hey, THIS and THAT are TOTALLY DIVERSE!!" hollered me. "It's NOT!!" she insisted. "Look! All the things I said is for yer OWN good!! YOU'RE THE WIFE OF THE KING SO BEHAVE LIKE YOU SUPPOSE TO!! NOT ACTING LIKE A WHORE!!!" I snapped. She fought me back, "YOU YERSELF ARE ACTING LIKE A BASTARD!!! YOU SHOULD'VE ACTED LIKE A KING, BUT IN MY EYES YOU'RE JUST BITCHING AND BEEFING ABOUT EVERYTHING!!! D'YA REALLY THINK IT"S GOOD, YA RASCAL?!!!" A glare of her eyes troubled me. Silence fell; but quickly broke up by the sound of a train passing. Not so long, the train disappeared into the tunnel and the gate was wide open. "Beat it," told me. She got off and looked at me furiously, frowning, then declared, "Forget bout our engagement, I don't wanna marry a son of a bitch like you." "Go screw yerself," I answered, and without even turning my head, I went away.
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Simon, where do we go?------------------------------------------------------------------------
I drove my motorbike at excessive speed. Fuck it that gal!! What a slut!! Guess I've to choke her next time!!! When my pace had reached 120 ml/hr, abruptly, a child ran across the street. Surprised, I veered sharply and, with a reflex, released my grip. I was flung away then fell smack on the road. That motorbike kept running till it bumped against the wall as I laid on the asphalt with some blood on my hands, legs and my face. I tried to stand up and wobbly came near him. "H-Hey, kid! You okay?!" I lifted him up while pointing his face to my direction. I startled for seconds. My god…Manta!! Hurriedly, I helped him to regain his consciousness, "Manta! Manta!! Wake up!! Please, I beg you!!" His eyelids opened little by little. He stared at me then smiled. "Yoh," said him, "we all love you." I gawked, "huh?" He maintained, "For that reason, Yoh, don't you be of the opinion that you're lonesome cos as a matter of fact, you're not." "What're ya babbling about??" I laughed nervously, "You too think that I'm a loser, don't ya?? You too belittle me, don't ya?? You too are the SAME with those guys, aren't ya?!" Shaking his head, he replied, "…That's only your judgment. Do you really know the truth?? Have ya ever asked to me; to them; bout our real feelings toward you?? Have you?! You may be the Shaman King, but you ARE merely a human; a kid; no doubt! You're not able to read someone's heart from his surface! You–are–still–a–human!!" "I don't wanna hear it…" said me. "But you MUST!!" he continued, "You CAN'T DETERMINE all things by YOURSELF!! You can't kill somebody just because you FEEL AS THOUGH he looks down on you!! No, you MUSN'T FEEL!! YOU HAVE TO JUSTIFY IT!!" I rejected once more, "I don't wanna hear it!" "YOU HAVE TO LOOK FOR THE FACT; NOT ONLY GUESSING!!! COS IF YOU'RE STILL LIKE THAT, THEN YOU"RE NO DIFFERENT FROM HAO!!!" screamed him.
"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!!!"
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It's raining inside and it's raining tonight and it's raining for me and for you------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Nii-san…" that little boy approached me, "…are you all right, nii-san? What's wrong? Are you sick?" I clutched my hands as my tears dropped on the road. The rain was very hard and that boy trembled from the chilliness; but all I could see was nothing instead of the darkness which eating me completely. At that moment, the feeling returned again. The longing to sleep and not come back anymore…
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Err…whatever (_;) please R+R!!