Part 5: Wait for the Midnight Hour
It was a little after midnight Angel noted. It was a very sad day when a
vampire was exhausted before the night had really started. But most vampires
don't have to deal with teething babies and houseguests. Connor wouldn't go
down, which was understandable cause hey, teething, that had to hurt. Angel had
tried all the suggestions in the baby book and so far had only seemed to make
Connor crankier. Angel was actually feeling a little cranky himself.
Dinner hadn't exactly been fun. It was exactly like one of those scenes from a
movie, where everyone is uncomfortable and everyone knows that everyone else is
uncomfortable and there is nothing they can do about it. Buffy had been quiet
and Angel didn't know if that was shock or what. Wes harassed poor Dawn with
questions about her origin until he finally realized he was pissing her off—he
spent the rest of the meal quietly whispering to Fred and making notes on a
paper napkin. Angel thought Gunn might have been a little upset at the sudden
Wes and Fred chumminess but Gunn apparently didn't notice. Probably since he
had been too busy hating Xander. Xander and Cordy had bickered for most of the
meal, and it was hard to tell if they were kidding or not. Twice Angel had to
kick Gunn under the table to keep him from lunging at Xander (once because he
asked Cordy if her breasts were real cause he "wasn't sure they had felt real
that time in the closet", and again when Gunn caught Xander looking at the
aforementioned breasts). In between bouts with Xander, Cordelia and Willow made
awkward small talk.
Angel didn't really know what to think. He knew that Cordy was always a little
outside of the group, but he hadn't been aware of the whole weird dynamic. When
he was in Sunnydale he was too focused on Buffy to pay much attention to Scooby
interaction and in LA there was pretty much a silent agreement to forgo
discussions of time spent on the Hellmouth. It was just a little sad, that
these were her closest friends from high school. These were the people she kept
pictures of on her refrigerator. She had to know that there were no pictures of
her stuck to Buffy's fridge with a magnet shaped like a giant pair of lips.
Angel frowned at that. Cordy deserved better.
"Special delivery for Mister Fussy Vampire Spawn," Cordelia said as she opened
the door and walked in. She didn't bother to knock and once again, Angel was
more pleased by that than annoyed. "Let's see I've got some yummy pacifiers,
straight out of the freezer and…oh some ice chips and if that doesn't
work…um…I'll sing "Somewhere out there" until he realizes that sleep is the
only escape." Cordelia shrugged and hopped on the bed next to Angel. She was
silent for a moment, but both parties knew that couldn't last long. "So why
were you frowning when I came in?"
"Could it have anything to do with the fact that my child is in pain and I
can't help and all I want to do is lie down and sleep for the next…ever?"
"First of all, you are talking more and more like me everyday and I have to
tell you, I am very flattered. Second, you could have been frowning about all
that stuff but you weren't."
"You don't look so perky yourself right now," Angel commented.
"They don't like me," Cordelia responded with a shrug of her shoulders. "And I
would have once said it didn't bother me even though it did bother me, even
then. And it doesn't bother me A LOT now, but it does bother me."
"Cordy, of course they like you." Cordy gave him that look; the "are you crazy"
look and Angel realized this was the wrong tactic to take. He knew, after the
incident with Angelus, that Cordelia preferred honesty to politeness. "Okay, so
they aren't your biggest fans. But who cares?"
"I just told you. I care."
"Why? I mean, you have friends, friends who adore you and would do anything for
you. How Buffy and her friends feel about you shouldn't be so important."
Cordelia sighed. He doesn't understand. "Angel, I totally agree with
you, IN THEORY. But the Scoobies, they are important. I mean, hello, we
wouldn't be together today if it weren't for them." Oh shit, please don't
let that sound like I meant we were together together. "Besides that, their
opinions do matter. You know that. Unless you're trying to tell me you don't
care what Buffy thinks." Angel didn't disagree right away and Cordy was about
to continue when he finally spoke.
"You don't need to try and impress them. If they can't see all the wonderful
things I see when I look at you, then…."
"Then… what?" Cordy said. Did he really just say that? What wonderful things
does he see? How come he never tells me the nice stuff? "Then…you'll beat
them all up?" she asked with a smirk.
"Well, I won't beat all of them up. How about we just let Gunn have a go at
Xander?" The baby was quieter now and Angel didn't think it was wrong to
attribute a little of that to Cordelia's presence. That's what she did, to both
men—she swept in and started making them feel better without them even
noticing. "Connor's settling down now."
"Not for long. I give it two or three hours before he's up howling again. You'd
think his father was a werewolf." Cordelia caught Angel's eye and made a face.
"Okay, I just got the grossest mental picture of Darla with Oz." She shook off
the icky-ness while Angel put Connor down in his crib. It didn't matter what he
was doing, anytime that man moved he was sexy. How someone so big and strong
could move so quietly was beyond her. Ooops, Danger Will Robinson! Shake off
those kinds of thoughts. Angel sat down again on the bed and the two found
themselves lying on their sides facing each other.
It was odd the difference one tiny baby could make. Without Connor's presence
in the bed everything seemed different, scarier. Cordy bit her lip to hold
herself back from doing what she really wanted to do cause what she really
wanted to do involved lunging at Angel and no good could come of that. She had
learned to take rejection from directors, she had learned to take rejection
from the stupid Scoobies, but she'd be damned if she got rejected by her best
friend. And the only way to avoid that was to avoid offering him certain things
to reject. You so need to get out of here Cordy.
"I should be getting home." She looked at Angel, who only gave a slight nod.
"It's getting late and knowing Buffy there will be some sort of apocalypse
tomorrow and if the world's going to end, I definitely want my beauty sleep."
Angel still didn't talk. He gave a half-smile and just kept staring at her with
those eyes of his. She wondered what he saw.
Cordy looked down and then back at Angel. "Yeah," she said softly, "so I
should…go." Angel didn't speak or move. Say something damn it! Say "okay see
you later" or "don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out" or grab
me and say "I'm not letting you leave this bedroom until I've found erogenous
zones you didn't even know you had." Angel didn't of course say any of
those things and Cordelia realized she would have to get up. She let out a soft
sigh that she didn't realize he heard and had moved maybe half an inch when a
hand on her thigh stilled her.
"Stay." He didn't growl it or beg it—he wasn't even really asking it, he just
said it, like it was a fact. Cordy's eyes widened involuntarily and that must
have scared him a little because he removed the hand from her thigh (No, you
can keep that there she thought) and he said, "I, I mean you should stay.
For Connor."
"Connor's asleep," Cordelia said, but she had a tiny smile on her face that
made Angel confident. The hand that had been on her thigh moved to her
shoulders. He began rubbing and kneading the tension out.
"Sure he's asleep now. But you yourself said that wouldn't last long. How can
you abandon us now?"
"I…," Cordy trailed off. She couldn't talk, she could barely breath. Angel knew
just where to touch. Oh Jesus! "Fine, I'm staying. You don't have to
bribe me with backrubs," she said, more harshly than intended. Well, one of
us has to be sensible. Cordelia turned over onto her other side, so that
Angel now faced her back. He didn't move, but all of the sudden Cordelia swore
that she heard another soft disappointed little sigh, and this time it hadn't
come from her. In that moment Cordelia didn't know what to do. She didn't have
a clue what was going on here. It almost seems like…he likes me. No, that
can't be. Besides, even if he does sorta like me, it's not like love, it's not
like how he feels about Buffy. Which so makes anything between us just so
completely doomed. Cause ultimately, it would be just like Xander, where I am
constantly reminded that I run a far second to the Slayer.
She didn't want to hurt his feelings but she didn't know what he was wanting to
happen and she was worried they were playing with fire and she really didn't
want to be the one that got burned. She shut her eyes tightly and heard another
little sigh. With that sound, Cordelia decided that she was sick of being the
smart one. If Angel didn't have to be sensible, than why should she? She didn't
do anything crazy like rip off her clothes and jump his creature of the night
ass. Nope, she wasn't going to be the smart one but that didn't mean she was
the crazy one either. Instead, she just reached behind her, grabbed Angel's
hand, pulled his arm down over her, and yanked his body closer. Ha! I'm
being spooned by Angel and it's probably a horrible idea but I'm not going to
think about the stupid consequences, cause I've had a really hard day and
dammit, I deserve this. Angel gave her a little squeeze and let out another
sigh, but it was different than the other two—it sounded content. And Cordelia,
glad to know that she was neither smart nor crazy but rather a combination of
them both, fell asleep.
***************
Skulking around cemeteries for the better part of six years should mean that
you don't get spooked easily. But Buffy was. Spooked that is. It was three in
the morning and she was in the Hyperion lobby and it was dark and she was alone
and the place was really big and hell, it looked haunted during the DAYTIME so
yeah, she was a little spooked. She knew she should be asleep in the room she
was sharing with Dawn, but the whole sleep thing just wasn't working for her.
The baby had been crying in the room down the hall for the past ten minutes and
she was in a strange bed and…Okay, a small, very twisted part of me misses
Spike. It was weird, cause it wasn't like she was horny and she missed sex
with Spike (all though she wouldn't turn it down right now if it was offered). I
just miss HIM. Talking to him, knocking him around a little. It was very
disturbing to realize just how large a part of her life Spike had become. How
not a day went by without seeing him. Oh lord, I came here to forget about
Spike, not wander around thinking about him. Buffy decided to do some
subtle snooping, for distraction.
She walked over to where the desks were and saw a picture of her in a silver
frame. It was one with Xander and Willow when they were at the Bronze—it looked
like senior year of high school. Angel has a picture of me on his desk. That
has to mean something right? The thought warmed her for a second, until she
realized that she didn't remember posing for Angel. In fact the idea of Angel
walking around Sunnydale with a camera seemed a little ridiculous. So then… Buffy
looked down at the desk the picture rested on. The presence of a bottle of
perfume and a computer meant that the picture and the desk weren't Angel's,
they were Cordelia's. Buffy really didn't want to think about why Cordy had
pictures of the Scoobies on her desk. Didn't she hate all of us?
Even the desk spoke of how much Cordelia had changed. There was a Parents
magazine tucked in between Cosmos. There was a schedule for a Mommy and Me swim
class lying on the chair. It was very disconcerting, so Buffy walked over to
the other desk.
This was Angel's. It was relatively bare. There was a pad of paper, a few pens,
and a book of short stories by Edgar Allen Poe. Ahhh, that's my stuffy
250-year-old boyfriend. But looking closer, Buffy saw other things. There
was a Sony Discman that had a piece of tape that said GUNN on it. There was a
bottle of OPI nail polish in "chick flick cherry" that Buffy prayed was
Cordelia's. It was sitting on top of a post-it from Wes, saying that Angel
still owed him for those Laker tickets. And the calendar on the right hand
corner of the desk had "Fred's B-day" written on it, with a red circle around
the date.
It was so strange, seeing that other people existed for Angel now; once she was
his entire world. Buffy looked around the empty room, to make sure no one was
coming, and then opened the top desk drawer. There wasn't much in there. There
was a musty smelling book an ancient demon rituals. An invoice. Two pacifiers.
And a piece of paper, no it was a picture, lying face down. Buffy picked it up
and turned it over and stopped breathing.
It was of Angel and Cordelia with Connor. Neither of them had been looking at
the camera—they clearly hadn't known they were having their picture taken.
Cordelia was sitting on the couch in what must be her apartment. Her hair was
longer and less blond—put up in a messy ponytail—and the red sweatshirt she
wore had a stain on the upper right corner. The baby was asleep in her arms
with this peaceful blissed out expression on his face. Angel was crouching on
his knees behind the couch. One arm was around Cordy's shoulder while the other
reached toward Connor. Cordelia's head was arched back and she was shooting a
huge smile at Angel. Angel was also smiling, a small secret smile, as he looked
down, tilting his head toward her.
Buffy didn't know what this picture meant. She didn't like the things that it
could mean. She didn't like that Angel kept the picture in his drawer. Maybe,
maybe he doesn't have that many pictures of Connor. Maybe this is the only
picture he has and Cordelia just happens to be in it. Why couldn't the guy just
have taken his son to the portrait studio at Sears, if he was so hard up for
pictures? Buffy acknowledged that reason and rationality were clearing
running scarce, then she did something even more irrational. She stuffed the
picture into her back pocket. She didn't know why but she couldn't stop herself
from doing it.
"Buffy."
It was Angel's voice. Wasn't she supposed to be able to sense when vampires
were approaching? She quickly turned her head towards the sound of his voice.
He was slowly coming out of the shadows with a wiggling Connor in his arms.
"What are you doing up so late?" he asked as he walked over to the kitchen.
"Three in the morning really isn't all that late," Buffy said as she followed
him into the kitchen and watched him take a frozen pacifier out of the fridge.
"Well I don't know if I agree with you, but Connor certainly does."
"I should be more tired, I guess. It's hard to relax and go to sleep if I
haven't patrolled."
Angel didn't say anything and for a minute Buffy just watched him with the
baby. I don't think I'll ever get used to that. "It's weird," she
commented. "I mean, it's not bad weird, but it is different, to see you with
him, like that. Makes me wonder what happened to my brooding tai-chi-doing
boyfriend."
Angel's hand stilled on Connor's back when he noted that Buffy had used the
word boyfriend and it had a disturbingly "present tense" feel to it. Buffy
didn't notice it, but she did notice how Angel kept looking around the hotel
nervously. "Angel, it's okay, I understand exactly how you feel, because I feel
it too," she said soothingly, hoping to make him less nervous. Angel merely
shot a confused look in her direction so Buffy went on. "Being together again,
its bound to be a little strange. All those old feelings coming rushing back
again, it's bound to be a little…disconcerting."
Angel was definitely disconcerted. What the hell is Buffy talking about? And
since when am I still her boyfriend? Angel wasn't nervous because he was
alone with Buffy. He was nervous because if he didn't head back upstairs soon,
Cordy would start to wonder what had happened and then she would come
downstairs and…We have a hard enough time justifying it to ourselves when
Cordelia spends the night, I doubt trying to make Buffy understand would make
it any easier.
"Buffy, look, I—". There was a sudden noise and Angel and Buffy both turned to
see Cordelia quietly walking down the stairs. She stopped when she caught both
pairs of eyes on her.
Cordelia immediately noted the suspicious way Buffy's eyes roamed over her and
inwardly cringed. Why did I get out of bed? Why? She looked at Angel and
saw the whole "deer caught in the headlights" thing he had going and this time
she gritted her teeth. So, he must REALLY not want Buffy to know that Cordelia
had been upstairs with him. Oh, cause the idea of me and Angel in bed
together, that's what, like too horrific to contemplate? Okay, fine. I'll
rescue him. Don't want to cause any problems for the star-crossed lovers, now
would I?
Cordelia called on the inner soap-opera-star. "Wow, I didn't think it would be
so crowded down here at almost four in the morning. I, uh, fell asleep in
Fred's room. We stayed up late doing that thing where girls just lay there and
talk, you know—"
"Girl talk?" Buffy offered.
"Yeah, exactly. So I must have fallen asleep. And then I just woke up cause I
was, um, thirsty, so I called out to Dennis to bring me a glass of water and
that's when I realized that I wasn't at home." Nice job, Cordy. I threw in a
few extra details, did the whole 'I'm confused cause I just woke up thing.'
Man, I so deserve an Emmy. Or at least a People's Choice Award. "So," she
said glaring at Angel, "I'll just get my purse and be on my way." No one spoke
again until she reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Wow Cordy," Buffy said, "I don't think I've ever seen you this way before. All
messy…and tired looking." Cordelia bit back a retort and walked over to her
desk. But Buffy wasn't going to let this one go. "Seriously Angel, look at her.
Does Cordelia remind you at all of the fashionista she was in high school?"
Cordelia waited a split second for Angel to put the baby down and knock Buffy
the fuck out, but then she remembered that would only happen in a perfect
world. The world she lived in: clearly not perfect, since Angel apparently
didn't feel the need to defend her at all.
Angel noted the way Cordelia had flinched at Buffy's words. He was angry that
his seer was hurting and he was confused as to why Buffy was saying those
things. But most of all, he didn't know what to say. Who to support. Finally he
just quietly said, "She's nothing like she was then." Cordelia bit her lip and
shook her head slightly. It was nice, but a thinly veiled compliment that Buffy
wouldn't understand at all was not the kind of back up Cordelia had been
looking for.
"I know Angel," Buffy agreed. "I don't think the old Cordelia even owned a
sweatshirt. I guess someone finally found the softer side of Sears herself."
Cordelia guessed that somewhere, deep down, she probably deserved a comment
like that. After all she had never been a saint, even now. But it still hurt.
She hated that Buffy made her feel ashamed of who she had been AND who she was
now. She hated being put down in front of her best friend and getting no
visible reaction. In that moment, Cordelia hated Buffy and Angel. Just get
out of here. No good can come from prolonging this. Just leave.
"Well, as fun as this is, it's late. I'll see you three tomorrow." Cordy shot a
final glare at Angel, yanked open the door, and walked out…only to immediately
walk back in backwards.
"Are you coming or going Cordelia, make up your mind," Buffy said, before she
saw the reason Cordy had walked back inside. There, in the door of the
Hyperion, in the middle of L.A., where Buffy had fled to get away from Spike,
was…Spike. She froze.
Angel however, reacted immediately. He grabbed Cordelia, yanked her behind him,
thrust her the baby, and put on his game face, all in about three seconds.
Buffy shook off the shock and went to stand in front of Spike. "What the hell
are you doing here?" she yelled. Angel turned to look at Buffy. The way she
yelled at Spike, that's not how you yelled at your enemy. That's how you yell
at exasperating, frustrating people that you happen to almost love. Angel knew,
cause that's how he yelled at Cordy.
"Wait, so you're the one who leaves town, lies about where you're going, and
I'M the one who is getting screamed at," Spike said.
"It's none of your business where I go and who I go to see."
"Clearly you were concerned about what I'd think, otherwise why'd you go and
lie about it," Spike shot back. "Why did you think you couldn't tell me that
you'd come here, to see him," he sneered, gesturing to Angel. Angel growled
lowly, but didn't speak.
"I didn't tell you cause I knew you'd show up here. And I don't want you here.
I don't want you anywhere near me."
"Oh really," Spike drawled reaching for his cigarettes. "That's not what you
sa—"
"Hey, sorry to interrupt," Cordy said stepping out from behind Angel before he
could stop her. "Not to interfere with the whole lovers quarrel your doing but
smoking is like such a big no-no here. You know, with the baby and all." Spike
didn't seem to pick up on the baby reference but he did put the cigarettes away
before turning back to Buffy.
"Listen love."
"Don't call me that. Why are you here, why did you come here?" Buffy said
angrily.
Angel decided the time had come to speak up. He didn't know what was going on
between Buffy and Spike and he didn't want to. He just wanted Spike out and
Cordelia and Connor back upstairs in his bed. "Spike, I for one don't care why
you are here. I just want you gone."
"Ahhh, I'm wounded. This is how you are greeting family these days." Trying to
lesson the tension, Spike turned to Cordelia. "Cheerleader. Like the new look.
It says 'I'm casual, yet still cuddly'." Cordelia smiled before she could stop
herself and Angel growled again, this time loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Oh chill, ya giant poof. Didn't the Scoobs tell you? I'm chipped. Can't harm
the walking Happy Meals. I fight the evil now, you know, all the stuff that
goes bump in the night? I'm on your team now. Ask Buffy."
"I don't need to ask Buffy anything. I know that I want you out of here and
away from my family. Chip or no chip, I don't trust you."
For some reason, Buffy was slightly annoyed with Angel's tone. I mean, I
don't want Spike here either, but I should handle throwing him out. And Angel
didn't have to be so mean. She was also slightly annoyed at the vague
flirtation Spike had thrown towards Cordelia. "Spike, we'll talk about this
when we get back to Sunnydale. You should go home now."
"I'm not going anywhere. Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do by coming
here Slayer. I know you."
"No. You don't. You don't know me at all."
"I'm not leaving until we talk about this."
"I am so not talking to you now Spike."
"Fine. Than Angel, I'd like a room for the weekend. Smoking of course,
preferably a queen sized bed."
"You're not staying here," Angel and Buffy said at the exact same time. The two
of them and Spike now stood very close together right in front of the door. All
of the sudden, Angel's head shot up. Cause if he wasn't mistaken, he smelled
something on Buffy and he smelled the same thing on Spike. Sex. They were
having sex. Presumably with each other. Angel tried to process this while Spike
and Buffy had a staring contest, until, finally, a voice of reason was heard.
"Oh that's it. It's four in the morning. I'm tired. I want to go home. I can't
go home knowing that Connor is going to have to listen to you three fight all
night. So here's what's going to happen. Spike, you can't stay here. You
tortured Angel the last time you came to town. Your record with us is not good.
However, since daylight is fast approaching, I'm going to be a total idiot and
let you come stay with me."
"Spike is not staying with you," Angel said, putting his hands on Cordelia's
shoulders.
"You are not staying with Cordelia," Buffy said, grabbing Spike by the collar.
Cordy ignored the large vampire in front of her and quirked her eyebrow at
Spike. "Well, it's up to you."
Spike detangled Buffy's fingers from his shirt and nodded. He didn't know why
the chit was being so…nice. Not just the fact that she was being nice to him,
but the fact that she was being nice at all. He remembered her being
somewhat…less nice. "Thanks for the hospitality cheerleader."
The fact that Cordelia had invited Spike for a sleepover and the fact that
Spike had accepted seemingly shocked Angel and Buffy into a stupor. They stood
there silently as Cordy handed Connor to Angel and Spike picked her purse off
the floor and carried it for her. When they reached the door, Spike mumbled
"So, the baby. I gather that's not a late night snack, is it?" Cordy just shook
her head tiredly, saying, "I'll explain later." And then they were gone.
Angel and Buffy continued to silently stare at the door for several minutes.
Finally Angel said, "He better not hurt her."
Buffy sighed and walked toward the stairs. "He won't hurt her. He can't."
"Buffy, if he does hurt her, I will have to kill him. You know that, right?"
Buffy simply nodded and walked upstairs.
TBC….
