Last week in "Bad Timing":

"Watcha got for me?"

"My heart," he said. Her jaw dropped again. He waited, but it didn't look like she planned on talking any time soon.

"I know. It doesn't beat. It's, well, slightly used. But other than that, it's in perfect working order. And it's yours." Angel studied her face. She made no move to speak, but her eyes looked suspiciously damp. "Free and clear." She blinked. "It actually has been," he added. She bit her lip. "For a while now." There. I said it. Balls in her court.

Except Cordy wasn't playing. She didn't say a word. Long slow seconds passed until Angel was on the verge of grabbing the chopsticks she kept in the drawer on the left and staking himself.

"Well," she said, sliding her hands out of his grip, hopping off the table and taking a step or two back. "I prefer merchandise that's brand new. I'm not usually interested in second-hand items." She seemed to hesitate and then a watery smile broke out on her face. "But I happen to think you and your heart would look pretty good on me."

And now…Chapter 16: Collision

Cordelia knew this was the moment. She had watched a lot of movies in her young life. Having declared their mutual love, the two leads get swept up in the perfect kiss, cue music and end credits. She probably would have loved that. She should have loved that. As usual, my timings off. Right now, she didn't want soft and pure and romantic. She wanted Angel. Badly.

She wasn't sure who grabbed who, but within seconds, her mouth was being ravaged. There was little she could do besides hang on for dear life and ravage him right back, as best she could.

Angel had kissed Cordy before. Hell, if he tried hard enough, he could still remember the taste of her on his lips, bring back the essence of Cordelia that had coated his fingers and his mind after that night at the ballet. He thought he knew what to expect this time. He waited for the kick, the high to come. And when it came, he still wasn't ready.

It was coming home. Coming home after two and a half centuries. It was the pressure of her lips and the feel of her body in his arms and the thrill that came from knowing she wanted to be there.

He had always imagined telling Cordy he loved her, pulling her into his arms and giving her one slow, soft, endless kiss. That's not what this is. This isn't pretty. But for once, the aesthetically inclined vampire didn't care. This was better than a pretty kiss. It was beautiful in it's desperation. It was the two of them struggling to have as much of the other person as they could reach.

Angel felt something, a hunger to rival bloodlust. When he heard her give a small breathy sigh and open her mouth to his tongue, Angel knew. Deep down, he knew he would crave the taste of Cordelia for the rest of his days on Earth. And probably long after that.

Cordelia didn't understand. Why can't I get close enough? No matter what she did, it wasn't enough. She yanked Angel's hair, grabbed at his shoulders. It wasn't enough. She wanted it all, all at once. She wanted with a violence that had her biting down hard on his lower lip and shoving up against his chest because oh lord, friction good! Cordy couldn't breath and that momentarily troubled her. But then Angel's hands streaked under her shirt and suddenly suffocating was a price she was willing to pay.

Angel didn't know how it happened, but he was out of control. The kiss was beyond him. He wanted to get lost in the liquid velvet of her mouth. Luckily, some small part of him recognized her need for air and he slid his mouth down to attack her neck. His hands, he knew they were too rough, but he couldn't make them stop. He was grabbing and pulling and bruising because God, the feel of her skin.

He lifted her up so that the center of everything soft and hot in Cordelia came in full contact with his hardness. They fit perfectly. It's like she was made for me. The scent of her, her arousal, was intoxicating. It sent a rush of fresh lust shouting though him. We need to stop. This is getting dangerous. We need to slow down.

He started to relax his hold on her butt and lower her back to the ground, but she wasn't having any of that. She clenched her ass and thrust her hips forward, grinding into him. Angel growled and his good intentions were forgotten. He slammed her up against the wall and pumped against her. She whimpered and he only held her tighter.

Cordelia had never known anything like this. Although, I bet Angel has. I don't even want to think about how many women he's been with. This thought might have troubled her more, had Angel not yanked down the collar of her shirt and lowered his mouth to the upper swell of breast left uncovered by her bra. Then all she could do was moan.

Angel licked and sucked at her skin, marveling at it's taste and texture. He heard her cry out and somehow, that broke the spell he was under. He pulled his head away slowly and looked at her. Her eyes were shocked and glassy. Her lips were swollen, she had somehow gotten a long scratch on the side of her neck and the collar of her shirt was ripped. He had hurt her. And that's when he realized that he was in game face.

He abruptly let her slide to the ground and immediately took 3 steps backward.

"Cordelia," he panted as his face slid back into its human form.

"Yes?" She sounded like she was trying to focus.

"I'm sorry."

Those words sounded familiar to Cordy. The ballet! She smiled. And she had thought all the passion, the heat then had been because they were possessed. But we're not possessed now. And the heat's definitely still here. She smiled more.

Angel was worried that Cordy really was going into shock. He had just mauled her and now she was standing in front of him with a goofy grin on her face. Yeah, must be the shock.

"Cordy, I didn't mean—"

"You're sorry? You didn't mean to kiss me? You know Angel, not to critique your way with the ladies, but that's not really stuff that a girl likes to hear," Cordy said, shaking her head, but keeping the goofy grin firmly in place.

"No, I just…I didn't want it to be like that…it wasn't kissing," Angel said hurriedly. He needed to make this better.

"Felt like kissing to me."

"It was me attacking you," he told her, like she hadn't been there.

"And me attacking you right back." She stepped closer to him and Angel put up a hand, as if to keep her away.

"I hurt you."

Cordelia wondered if it was possible for a heart to burst with love. "No, you didn't."

"You cried out," Angel reminded her.

"I moaned."

"In pain" Angel reiterated.

"No, in—well, it wasn't pain. Believe me, I've had pain rather recently," Cordy said, running a hand over her stomach. "This wasn't pain."

"Your stitches!" Angel cried out. He had forgotten that she was only hours out of the hospital.

"They're fine," Cordy assured him.

"You're going to have bruises." She can't deny that one.

"I'm sure you'll have some too."

Come to think of it, my shoulder is sort of throbbing. Did she bite me? As Cordelia's practical assurances won the battle over Angel's insecurities, he lowered the hand he had been using to ward her off. "You're not mad," he noted.

"Angel, being slammed up against a wall by a hottie makes me feel a lot of things. Anger is not one of them."

She seemed so calm. Not mad at what the kiss, what them coming together had turned into. Not surprised either.

Cordy watched as her confused vampire ambled into the living room. He came to stand in front of the couch, but he didn't sit down. He just stood there. Looking confused. Ahh, now that's the Angel I know and love.

She walked over to him, pushing him onto the couch. She stood standing in front of him and reached for both of his hands. Then she quietly began to explain.

"Look. I know if this was an episode of 'Felicity' or something, it would have been different. It would have been the long slow kiss with the cheek cupping and the whispering of sweet nothings. But this isn't the WB Angel. It's you and me. You know how I feel and I know how you feel. Finally. And we have about a year worth of sexual tension to work through. So it's understandable, us making with the mad groping." She climbed onto the couch, straddling him. He didn't move at first, then tentatively his arms came around her.

"There's still the curse you know," he reminded her solemnly.

"So?"

"So we can't do…that." I'm 250 and all of the sudden I can't say 'sex'?

"We can do other stuff," she said in a voice that excited and sort of frightened Angel. Then she licked up his neck and really scared him.

"What, um, what kind of stuff were you thinking of?" he asked while his brain was still functioning.

"Well, first on the agenda is teaching you the difference between good moaning and bad moaning."

*********
Cordelia had never had so much fun just kissing. In fact, rarely in her life had she spent 20 minutes merely kissing. Her closet time with Xander had been relatively innocent but he hadn't really known what he was doing. Since then, being with a guy had mostly been about pushing as many of the other person's buttons, usually as fast as possible.

She had planned on doing other stuff when she straddled Angel and pulled his face up to meet hers. But it never evolved past the just kissing phase. Maybe because just kissing Angel isn't just kissing.

For some reason, it reminded her a lot of how she felt when she and Angel went for walks after dusk, or of staying up late into the night helping him with Connor. Because of the closeness, because it feels like we're sharing something, something that's just ours. Kissing with Angel was all about closeness. Kissing with Angel….I've been kissing with Angel!

It hadn't been like the first time they came together. Angel was too aware now that she had just been released from the hospital. He wouldn't let things go to far, and while she had definitely liked the rush and the neediness of the first time around, she found she liked it this way almost as much. Long sweet slow get-to-know-you kisses. Learning every nook and cranny of each other's mouths.

Soon she was too caught up in just how loved and cherished he was making her feel to whine about how he wouldn't let her take his pants off. Plus, I'm sure there will be time for that later. The way he touched her now—the fingers threading through her hair, the knuckle brushing over her jaw, the hands running gently over her hips. No one had touched her so tenderly before. Almost worshiping. It felt like he was reaching in and touching her soul.

She would be perfectly happy just kissing this man for the rest of her life. But she couldn't.

Giving her lower lip a soft nibble, Angel pulled away to look down at Cordy. There were dark circles around her eyes and her hair was a messy jumble. He could feel the bandage covering the stitches through their clothes and he could still faintly smell the tears she had shed earlier in the evening. And still…she was lovely. She lay on top of him on the couch, now with her legs nestled firmly between his and the top of her head just under his chin. He drank in the warmth that blanketed him, the feel of her soft hot breath against his throat and the occasional kiss she would brush on the patch of skin exposed by the unbuttoned collar of his shirt.

He would be content to hold this woman in his arms for the rest of his life. But he couldn't.

"Cordy. We need to think about moving soon."

She made a half-hearted whine. "No. No moving. Let's just stay here on this couch where we love each other forever."

"We can't stay here forever." Although for the life of him, Angel couldn't remember why.

"I know," she grumbled. She raised her head to look in his eyes. "I miss Connor already. And we still have all that help the helpless stuff to do. And the earning your redemption gig. So…how about five more minutes?"

She is adorable. Angel cupped her cheek and felt the need to tell her again just how he felt.

"I love you," he whispered harshly. Then, in a happier, lighter voice, he continued. "I love you and I finally get to tell you that." She kissed his chin, but he wasn't done yet. "Cor, I look in your eyes and it's…I can see my future. I think, for once, that anything is possible. Redemption. Shanshu."

Something dark flickered in Cordy's gaze and suddenly she was pulling her head out of his reach and burying her face in his chest.

"Cordy? Cordelia?" Angel felt hot dampness seeping through his shirt and pulled her face up so he could see her. "What's wrong?" Maybe she doesn't want a future with me. Maybe she just wants a fling. She doesn't want forever.

"Look Angel, I'm confident enough to believe that you love me. It's not that I doubt that. It's just…when you shanshu…anything WILL be possible."

I thought that was a good thing. Angel waited for her to say more.

"You and Buffy…You'll finally be able to be together." Cordy said this quietly.

"Hey! How can you think—"

"Less than 24 hours ago you were kissing her," she reminded him. "You two are still—"

This time he interrupted. "No. That kiss, it was, it was a goodbye kiss."

"Angel I am very aware that you, that how you feel about me, compared to how you feel about her…" Cordy couldn't seem to finish the sentence. How do you tell someone that you know you will always be their second choice?

How can someone so strong be so insecure about this one thing? Angel wished she had more faith in his love for her. But then, he hadn't really given her many reasons to feel that way.

"Cordy. Stand up," he ordered. When she did, he shifted so he was sitting up, then he pulled her back down, cuddling her in his lap. He just held her for a minute, taking his time to plan what he would say. It was very important that she understand.

"How I feel about you, it's, it's not something I can compare to anything. Not Buffy, not anyone. Nothing I've seen or read or felt in 250 years."

"But you and Buffy were soul-mates."

Angel held back a growl. "You know, I've had it up to here with this soul-mate crap. Buffy and I weren't soul mates, we were just in love. And do I think that you and I are soul mates, that we were destined to be? No. You and I met again in LA by pure and simple chance. The luckiest coincidence in the world. And I fell in love with you because of who you are and who you make me, not because of something pre-ordained. Destiny is bullshit."

He felt her body tense as it prepared to interrupt him again. He squeezed her tightly. "Let me finish. That day, in the basement when I told you I'd never known anyone like you? I can't CONCIEVE of anyone being remotely like you. So I don't know there are the right words to describe how I feel about you. I only know that I've never felt this way before—I've never felt so much before."

She was silent but her hands had started tracing interesting patterns on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head. "Better?" he asked.

She pulled her head off his shoulder and smiled at him. In answer she brushed a soft dry kiss on his lips. He sighed. "We need to get back to the hotel," he reminded her.

"We?" Cordy really would have preferred staying away from the hotel for a little while.

"Yes WE." He stood up with her still in his arms and Cordelia couldn't help but give a small shiver of delight. I could really get into dating a guy who can pick me up without groaning or making cracks about cutting down on dessert. "Connor's teething," Angel continued, "and you aren't making me go through that alone. Plus, you and Buffy—"

OH SHIT! I forgot about Buffy. Cordy wiggled until Angel put her back down. "She tried to hit me when she thought it was just me and my one-sided crush on you! She's going to really kick my ass now."

"She won't try to kick your ass. And, hey, even if she did, you know how to defend yourself now." Angel felt a thrill at the thought of how much fun training sessions were going to be after this.

She sent him a withering glance. "No offence to your training abilities Angel, but your spinny kicky move, versus her Kung-Foo Slayer strength? She's going to Slayer-ize me! Or Slayer-tize me, which ever is more painful!"

Angel knew she was genuinely a little worried but it was hard to keep a straight face. She was so amazing. So funny and impulsive and…alive. . He grinned at her. "I wonder if I'm ever not going to be surprised by what comes out of your mouth."

She smiled and raised her eyebrows at him. "Yeah, well just think how surprised you'll be by what can come in my mouth." Wow, I'm naughty.

Angel's brain shut down as all the borrowed blood in his body rushed to a place that wasn't his head. When he finally could speak, it was barely coherent.

"You, uh, you…until that whole business with the curse and the soul and the," he took an unnecessary breath, "happiness," he squeaked, "until all that is solved, never say that again. Ever. Never."

She giggled. He pushed her towards her bedroom. "Go. Change. We need to get back to the hotel." She rolled her eyes but headed in to her room, leaving Angel in the living room to contemplate just what could come in her mouth.

TBC…

Nope, I'm not done yet.