Shades of Gray
Part Seven: Something Went Wrong Along the Way
A week after the introduction to Eileen
The sky was dark and gloomy; the gods must have made the mistake of bestowing the humans with a weather that certainly didn't match the jovial atmosphere of the Yuletide season. The wind was picking up speed, a blizzard was coming up, all jobs were cancelled for the day and not a single store was open. Christmas shoppers would have to wait- just as the agitated workers would do the same to earn their much-expected Christmas bonuses. It had been like this for the last couple of days...
Nonetheless, this was exactly how Tifa liked it since it went perfectly well with her mood. As the weather seemed out of place, so did she in the middle of the hustle for Christmas preparations. Keeping a brave front and smiling even if she really didn't feel like doing so, she knew there was still more to come and there was no end in sight. Nothing appeared to get her out of her depression, Elena's prodding and nagging didn't do much and Yuffie's comical escapades and gags only left her with more things to do. Not even Reno's out of the ordinary comments made her smile.
"Damn." She muttered, trying to bite back the long string of profanities one could only learn from Cid. The coffee had been too hot and it had burned her tongue; she had been too distracted, thinking too much, that she hadn't noticed that small detail. She had stolen away from the dark recesses of her room, only to end up at her bar, which occupied almost the whole first level of her home.
She lit a candle and looked out the window. The sun had yet risen from its cloudy sanctuary and the dusk hugged the room's shadowy corners, as if to claim them as its own before it would be forced to give them up to the golden rays of sunshine. The shadows licked at her feet, like black flames hungering for something to fuel their rage. Still, the darkness didn't frighten her. In fact, it seemed to soothe the emotional wound a little more than the presence of her friends had.
She had a lot in common with the dark. It was lonely just as she sought for something to fill her emptiness. It reached out only to be feared and left all alone, like how may of those she had loved passed away or left her. The dark existed because of the light, while she lived in the dark, forever lost in it, hoping to find the light. There are times when she'd catch a glimpse of it, only to have it disappear when it was an arm's stretch away.
"Couldn't sleep, I presume?"
Tifa swivelled in her seat, eyes madly darting from left to right. She was almost convinced that she had gone mad from all the thinking, just as Reno had told her then, when she spotted a familiar silhouette standing by the stairs. The darkness could've been melded with him and no one would have noticed.
"Vincent, you scared me." She let out a relieved sigh, clutching one hand to her chest. He stood there for a while before stepping into the dim light and walking to where she was seated. She couldn't help but watch him the entire time.
"...I apologize..." The monotonous tone of voice harmonized with their surroundings.
"No, no, it's okay. I was startled, that's all." She shook her head quickly and stood up, ready to prepare a drink for her friend. Not that she ever saw Vincent drink anything with caffeine or alcohol for that matter... "Come, sit and talk with me for a while. The others wouldn't be up until 3 hours from now." She paused and turned to look at him, taken aback to see that he had accepted her offer. "What would you be having?" Scratch that. Her bartending job wouldn't start until later on in the day. "Coffee? Tea?" Milk? Yeah right. And pigs fly.
"I'm alright, please don't bother." She sat back down on her seat and stared into her mug as if it held the meaning of life. "You look troubled, Tifa."
That was an understatement. "What made you say that?"
He shrugged. "It is not hard to see that something is bothering... a friend."
"I'm just having the blues..." she murmured softly more to herself, as though she was convincing herself to believe her words as well.
"The look in your eyes resemble mine, years ago..." His voice sounded distant, as if his mind had traveled decades back when Hojo had inflicted the greatest pain on him. Tifa's attention settled on her friend and she could only observe this cold, hardened man. She began wondering if she would end up like this when she can't take any more of the cards life was dealing her.
Instead, Tifa smiled. She saw something else inside him, something that bore a resemblance to hope... "You loved Lucrecia, didn't you Vincent?" He looked at her; she stared back, the smile fading from her face. "I know how you feel... I've felt it before."
"Have you?" He looked away, as though the faint traces of moist in the window were the most interesting things on the Planet. "Perhaps that feeling wasn't love... I could have been mistaken. Or maybe both of us had made the same mistake of calling that love...?"
Mistake? Impossible. It wasn't her fault, or his, that it hadn't been mutual. Wouldn't it have been the best experience to feel the same love being returned? Wasn't it a little worse than dying to be denied of the same love they were so willing to give? Unrequited love was the most hurtful thing that could happen to anyone... and she knew because she had undergone it. Tifa could have said all or any of those; instead, she gazed back into her mug and saw a darker, murkier reflection of herself in the dark liquid.
"I thought I loved her... Perhaps, I really did. But something went wrong along the way..." His voice drifted off and he didn't finish whatever he meant to say.
She chuckled softly, not to make fun of his revelation... It was ironic. To have this conversation with someone who barely even spoke a whole paragraph. At a time like this, with the gloomy mood... they made a fine pair. "This is life we're taking about, Vincent. Something always has to go wrong..."
To her surprise, Vincent smiled. And broke into a hearty laugh. "You have been hanging around me for too long." He put his normal hand on top of both of hers. His seriousness returned and no trace of the Vincent she had seen just a while ago was left. "I've wasted precious years sleeping in that coffin... All I can do is to look back at everything with regret."
Tifa met his gaze and gave him a small smile, the only smile she could manage at that moment. "Vincent..."
He gave her hands a gentle squeeze. "But maybe... There's still a chance that it's not too late for you."
At that moment, sunlight filtered through the curtains of the windows, and the shadows crept back to their hiding places. Vincent drew back his hand.
The moment was broken.
Author's Notes: First things first. This happens to be my favourite part (Vincent rocks!) and I dedicate this to everyone reading (and reviewing) my fics. You are my inspiration, I try to write better (well, Tiy helps me with my blunders, and I say she's doing a great job! ) Thanks also to Lee, who helped me out of a depression and anxiety attack. It got so bad that I even considered to stop writing and to start taking down the stories I've posted. But, HEY, I'm here now, am I not? And all thanks to y'all. I shall be writing as long as there would be people reading this.
Some hints of symbolism here and there... Did you get all of them? Hopefully, I was able to keep Vincent as Vincent, even with him laughing and opening up to Tifa.
Oh yeah, this Chapter was inspired by Magnum Opus' "Legacy." (To all those who've read it, I know I don't write even half as well as she does... and this chapter is nothing like any of her works ) FYI, it was the magnificent Magnum Opus who convinced me to post something.
Ok, I won't say anything anymore, might spoil whatever. Just go read Magnum Opus' works (I suggest you read "Dawn" ahead of "Legacy"...) I assure you, it's worth the time! Anyway, thank you all again for reading!