Slight reference to spoilers! (R/J) of course:)

Disclaimer: I have no connection what so ever to Gilmore Girls or its creators. My only connection to the WB is that I watch it on weekly basis. Feedback and reviews are lovely and well appreciated. Thank you so much for reading assuming you did :)

*Lyrics are copyrighted with RCA records on behalf of Eve6*

RECAP:

"If you want to then stay. Since when have you considered what's good or bad when making a decision anyway. That's my role in this relationship and you know it." She said.

Jess cracked a smile and quickly asked "Are you a little upset about our recent role reversal? How does Rory the town rebel sound?"

Rory poked his side forcing him to squirm a bit underneath her. She giggled as he responded and then next thing she knew she was flat on her back with Jess above her. He looked deep into her eyes but said nothing. Rory replied with silence as well. Many of their best conversations occurred that very way.

"Just make sure you set the alarm." Jess said finally giving into her.

Rory smiled and pulled his face closer to hers.

"Thank you." She whispered and then pressed her lips against his lovingly.

AN: OK you might get a little confused at the beginning but keep on reading. Everything will become clear as you read so just hang in there. Thanks for reading this and reviewing too.

Chapter Five: "All my time is frozen in motion, Can't I stay an hour or two or more. Don't let me let you go."

Is it really too much to ask for? I don't think so. All I want is a little bit of non-recycled air to breathe for a change. The chatty old lady across the aisle from me isn't helping matters either. When she had gotten on the bus, she gave me that look. You know the one. The one that screams "I'm a nice little old lady and I need a place to sit. If you let me sit with you, I'll talk your ear off and soon you'll die of boredom." I however have perfected my teenage angst scowl, which seems to repel most people. All except one of course.

Why am I still writing in here anyhow? What's the point in it? No one will see this and like hell I'll admit to anyone under the face of the sun that I'm keeping a journal. Now, don't go call it a diary. This notebook has no lock and key (although those locks are easy to pick with a bobby pin but 10 year old girls don't need to know that). It's just a notebook, bent corners and all. After today, I'm not going to write in here anymore. I'm stopping completely. You may not believe me but I mean it this time. Over. Done with.

So I did it. I tried to tell myself over and over again that it was going to be different this time. The circumstances were different so I had to be different. And yet, I've resorted back to the same guy I was before. Maybe I never really changed at all in the first place. I could sit here and say I did it for her best interests and that I was only thinking of her. Hell, almost all I do is think about her so that part wouldn't seem like the lie it really is. Who am I kidding here other than myself? I'm more mad at myself than anything. I know I've done the one thing I didn't want to do. Somehow through it all, I found it unavoidable.

Rory felt the sun warm her face and creep up to her eyes. She turned her head away and tried to catch a few more moments of sleep before her day officially began. Suddenly the sunlight registered and her eyes sprang open and focused on the clock right in front of her. 8:18 a.m.

"Jess! Wake up! Oh my gosh, we've over sle..." Rory said frantically as she quickly sat up and turned to see an empty bed. Her gaze focused on the pillow next to hers and she slowly reached out and touched it. Her fingers dipped into the depression where his head once had rested.

Rory kicked herself free from her sheet and blanket and bolted out of her bedroom.

"Jess?" She cried out hopefully knowing in the pit of her stomach there would be no one to answer her.

After checking around the first floor, she wandered back into her bedroom. She flung her remaining blankets over her bed and covered up the pillows. Rory changed out of her pajamas and dressed for the day. She slipped her shoes on and left the house on a quickened walk. She squinted her eyes a bit as she walked trying to get adjusted to the bright morning light as she made her way to Luke's. She walked up the steps and pushed the door open as she walked through. After glancing around for Luke but found nothing, she took a seat at the counter.

Suddenly Luke appeared from in back and froze once he saw Rory sitting by herself.

"Rory." Luke stated.

Rory looked up from the counter and smiled back.

"Hey Luke." She replied.

He regained movement of his legs and got her a cup of coffee.

Rory sat in shock that she didn't have to beg for a cup like usual.

"What service today? So not like usual. Have aliens come and taken the real Luke away leaving a clone to take his place?" Rory asked as she brought the cup to her lips.

"Ha ha, if aliens had stopped in do you really think they'd leave behind Taylor their leader. Plus in Stars Hollow don't you think you'd have heard about it from one of the crazy, insane members who reside in our quirky town?" He asked back.

Rory let out a chuckle and nodded in agreement.

"You eating anything?" Luke asked.

She contemplated for a second and then answered "I'll start with a chocolate doughnut please."

Luke nodded and retrieved her requested breakfast item. He took the coffeepot and made his way on his refill rounds but soon joined Rory again behind the counter. She looked up at him once she felt his heavy eyes on her. He didn't say a word and neither did she at first. Luke's intense stare almost frightened Rory but in a good way. Maybe somehow a part of Jess had rubbed off on Luke or was it the other way around?

"His bed was untouched this morning."

"Yeah."

"Any idea why?"

Rory sighed and answered in a lower tone in hopes daily eavesdroppers wouldn't hear the rest "He crashed at my place."

Luke raised an eyebrow trying to act surprised but knew it wouldn't work.

"I thought I was going to the bus stop with you two to see him off." Luke said sounding rather hurt.

Rory bit her lower lip as she picked at the chocolate frosting on her plate.

"Yeah, I thought I was going too." She finally said and then made eye contact with him again.

Luke's jaw dropped slightly as he rubbed his forehead.

"What do you.... wait.. you mean..?" He started but could not finish.

"Yup." Rory added. She pushed her half eaten doughnut forward and picked up her coffee. Luke watched her every move as she took a large sip.

"What a stubborn little.. it's just so typical of him. You know, I thought that he wasn't going do that anymore. His vanishing act is growing rather old." Luke rambled in a rant.

Rory sighed again and replied "Relax Luke, he'll be back soon and then you can lecture him about it again. Maybe it will stick this time around."

"No Rory, you don't understand this time.." Luke started but stopped once he saw a familiar figure out of the corner of his eye.

Just then the bells on the front door clanged and Lorelai waltzed in looking energetic and happy.

"Where's my Yale bound freshman? Mommy missed you!" Lorelai exclaimed as she joined Rory at the counter.

Luke watched Rory embrace her mother with a hug before she sat down. Instinctively, Lorelai picked up her daughter's cup and took a large gulp of the warm dark liquid.

"I take it you and Alex had a fantastic time away together." Rory proposed while her mother drank.

Lorelai nodded as she swallowed and then replied "Of course we had a memorable excursion away from our everyday troubles and tribulations but I'd have to say I missed you."

"Me too mom." Rory added as she felt eyes on her. She didn't look up to find the owner. She knew the owner all to well.

Lorelai snuck a bite of Rory's doughnut before she began to speak again.

"So last night... how was it? What did you two do?" She asked as casual as she could.

Rory frowned a bit and then answered "Last night was good...fine. We watched a movie for a bit and talked. You know the usual and then he left this morning."

Lorelai watched Rory's eyes intensely as she spoke trying her best to read into them as much as she could. She had wanted to be home when Jess left but Alex had insisted on letting Rory have some time alone. With Jess.

"Stop holding out on me. What was the goodbye like? Was it like the goodbye that Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner had in "The Bodyguard" or was it more like the cool tough guy farewell when Johnny said goodbye to Baby and then drove off in his car? Come on Rory which one was it." She begged sounding incredibly desperate.

Rory looked down at the counter for answers but found nothing.

"Actually mom" Rory said after a moment of silence "It was none of the above. I didn't get to say goodbye to Jess."

Lorelai's mouth opened slightly in shock.

"What indecisive boy finally makes a decision and then he goes and changes it? I can't believe Luke would let him do that after he hired help for the summer and bought Jess a bus ticket." She rambled on all in one breath.

"No, mom stop. Calm down for one second and sit and listen. Jess left this morning and got on his bus to California just like he planned. He just happened to forget the part where Luke and I see him off." Rory admitted as she looked at her mom hoping she would calm down.

"What's up with the kid? He always seems to just disappear out of nowhere and worst of all not at the best times." Lorelai stated.

Rory shrugged her shoulders and replied "I know he's done that before but this is just for the summer. He'll be back in a few months mom. Believe me."

Luke set a cup in front of Lorelai and filled it to the rim.

"I thought you might like your own cup instead of stealing from your daughter. Even though I don't agree with your unhealthy addiction, I'll give in today. How was your getaway?" Luke asked.

Lorelai turned and smiled at Luke and then down at her cup.

"Thanks for the cup Luke. Alex and I had a good time. But more importantly, Rory and I were just talking about your magician of a nephew. What's up with that anyhow? Did he attend David Copperfield High in New York and you've failed to mention it until now?" Lorelai asked.

"That's Jess I guess. He likes to do everything on his own terms and at his own pace. No matter how annoyed or frustrated those around him get." Luke answered.

Lorelai smiled and brought her cup to her lips again.

"I'm sure when he comes back he'll have more ideas about how to torture the lovely citizens of Stars Hallow. Summer goes by too fast anyway and before we know it, Jess will grace us with his presence again." Lorelai stated and then took another sip of her coffee.

Rory watched Luke as he ran a damp rag over the countertop in front of her. She looked down at the last bite of her breakfast and quickly picked it up. If she let it sit any longer, her mother would gobble it up.

"I hope he does." came in a soft almost undecipherable tone.

Rory felt a ton of bricks hit her stomach all at once and her head shut up to meet the speaker's eyes. Her eyes found Luke's and that's when she saw it. Something she had been trying to ignore all along but couldn't anymore. She had been so caught up with reassuring herself of what she thought was the truth that she missed what was really there. Were her worst fears becoming a reality? Her heart weakened as she held her gaze with Luke and took in everything he was saying with his eyes. She tried to tell herself Luke was wrong but was he?

I can still see her when I close my eyes even as the miles between us grow and grow. I've been on this bus for God knows how long. I've lost count of the hours but I'm sure those around me who have to smell me haven't. Although I've got to smell them too so I guess we're all screwed. I can see the look in her amazing perfect eyes when she noticed her bed was empty. My heart aches right now as I think about what I'm writing here. Why am I even continuing this stupid thing anyhow? And yet I can't put my pen down for the life of me. I tried reading but between the hot musky air and the smell of..well let's just say the bad smell, I'm getting a little motion sickness. Thus leaving me to my thoughts. Thoughts of a chicken. Why couldn't I just wait and let her say the goodbye to me she wanted to? Would that have been so hard? And what about Luke? He deserved more than I gave him and I am eternally grateful for all my bullshit he put up with over the years.

Wow, this entry is starting to sound like a goodbye note or something when it's nothing of the sort. I'm going on and on getting all sad and sullen here but I can't help it. If Rory had seen the look in my eyes as I boarded the bus she would have figured it out. She would have discovered the uncertainty and the fear I tried so hard to keep tucked away. Fear of what was in front of my and unsure of what I was leaving or if it would be the same when I got back. And lastly, if I was gonna come back. Truth be told, I don't really know for sure what my next course of action is. I tried a pro/con list like she always uses when she needs to make an important decision but it just didn't work for me. The mere notion I was borrowing the concept for her screws up the objective point of view for me.

So am I back to the Jess who plays it by ear? Or the guy who doesn't make plans too far in advance? I don't know but I do know one thing. The right decision will unfold itself in front of me if I only give it the chance.

Jess finally capped his pen and shoved his notebook into his backpack. He shoved it under the seat in front of him and then looked out the window. He hadn't noticed night had fallen until he couldn't see his enough to write anymore. A large green sign became in view and Jess quickly read it.

'Welcome to California'

He sighed and leaned his head against the window.

'Here's my chance' he thought to himself and then closed his eyes hoping sleep would come soon.

THE END

AN: thanks for reading my first gilmore girls fic. review and let me know what you thought about it. Thanks again :)