Wiggin Out

By 'Comedy'

Chapter II: Sex Lab

Unfortunately, Seto's nail color had rubbed off by the time he went to school the next week. But there were a few other lasting things that Seto kept from his day off. More specifically, there were some lasting thoughts that the young CEO just couldn't seen to get rid off.

They were all about Joey Wheeler and himself.

There was a particular scene he couldn't get out of his head that included Joey cuddling Seto and petting his head saying 'Who's the puppy now?'. Of course, this statement angered Kaiba and he and Joey began to wrestle around of the floor, getting into some interesting positions along the way. Eventually, Seto would end up getting Joey pinned to the ground, and just when he was lowering himself down to steal a kiss... his wig would fall off. Even though it was only his imagination, Seto still couldn't get Joey's look or horror and revulsion out of his head as he realized that Seto was naturally bald.

Seto shivered and placed a finger on his head to make sure 'it' was secure (Get your minds out of the gutter. 'It' refers to his wig!). It always was [secure, that is]. Sighing, Kaiba lowered his hand and took out his notebook. This was, after all, the class of Biology - not that someone such as he actually needed to learn these things. Ha!

"Take your seats, everyone!" The teacher said as the bell rang.

Kaiba's heart jumped a bit as Joey walked in the room with Yugi, Bakura and... and... Damn, what was his name...Pointy-hair-guy... and sat down in their assigned seats - Joey sat precisely behind Seto, a blessing and a curse.

"Ok," The teacher continued after everyone was settled down. "Today, we're going to do a lab - a Sex Lab."

There were a few murmurs and hoots from various members of the class, along with a few blushes (Seto desperately wanted to turn around and see Joey's reaction... but that would be a bit conspicuous). After the initial reaction died down a bit, the teacher continued:

"I will give you your partner of the opposite gender. From there, you will each write down your characteristic on slips of paper. These will be your 'characteristics'. Mix them and throw them up in the air and whatever ones will land face up (*sings* face down */sings*) will be the characteristics of your child."

Seto sighed. Such a stupid lab. Not only was the probability that too many or too little characteristics would land face up, but there wasn't a chance that he could get paired up with Joey.

As chances were, there were more males in the class than females, so Kaiba ended up being paired with... Bakura.

Damn, Seto thought. Though he's probably girly enough to pass as a female, if I could be with a guy, WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN JOEY?!

"Kaiba-kun..." Bakura started, noticing Seto's menacing expression, "Shall we being writing down characteristics?"

"Feh," Seto grunted and began to write.

Let's see... Seto began to write down various characteristics of himself as Bakura did the same. And finally...

"Are you ready, Seto?"

"Mm,"

Kaiba let Bakura mix the 'chromosomes' up and throw them up in the air.

"Let's see the results, Kaiba-kun..." Bakura mumbled as he read off the chracteristics that were facing up. "Seto, our child has white-to-silver hair, webbed toes, separated ear lobes... brown eyes, an abnormally small nose, knobby knees, great... looming capabilities (Bakura glanced at Seto), unusual pelvis-thrust standing style (another glance at Seto), and has a strange obsession with power (another glance at Seto). That's all..."

Both the boys began to fill in their 'child's' characteristic chart and soon noticed that -

"Hey, it doesn't have a gender..." Bakura sighed. Yes, sighed. "It must have landed face down."

Stupid lab. Seto thought. I knew this was going to happen.

Bakura looked at Kaiba sheepishly as he began to flip over the characteristics to find the missing 'x's' and 'y's'. "Kaiba-kuuun... They're not here... But I remember cutting them up... What should we do! We can't just have a genderless child! This of the locker-room jokes! Ah! Forget about that! It won't have a locker-room! It'll have to change in the halls! AHH...!"

Stupid Bakura. Seto grunted. We can't HAVE a child in the first place.

Finally Kaiba got fed up and without thinking, turned around - to Joey.

"Oi, can I borrow your sex determining chromosomes?"

"Huh?"

Seto's eyes widened. It took him a while a realize that he had just asked Joey - yes, Joey - for chromosomes. And not any kind of chromosomes, nooo! He asked if he could borrow 'sex determining chromosomes'.

So there they were. Seto staring wide-eyed and on the verge of blushing, asking his crush fro sex chromosomes, while Joey stared blankly back, somewhat taken aback at words that had no negative meaning spoken to him by non other than Kaiba Seto - his eternal rival.

Luckily, Bakura resolved it.

"Oh, right. Joey, can we borrow your x and y's? We lost ours."

"Oh," Joey understood now, still painfully aware of the fact that Seto was still staring wide-eyed at him. "Right. Here you go..."

"Yay! Seto! Our child will now have a gender!"

Bakura threw the chromosomes up and they landed 'yy'.

"Uh... I suppose it makes sense... I mean, we're both guys, and if you do a Punett Square with two 'xy's', then you eventually get a 'yy'..."

Seto blinked and wrote down 'yy - it' on his paper.

Stupid Lab.

***

Bakura walked home by himself. He would usually stay after and play some Duel Monsters with Yugi and the others... but just didn't feel like it today.

Kaiba-kun... Bakura thought. He was so cold today. He really didn't have to be that cold. I was just... just trying to make you laugh... It's not like I actually think it's physically possible to have a child with you... Bakura stopped as he waited for a red light so he could cross the street.

... Though I wouldn't mind if we actually could...