Wiggin Out
By means of 'Comedy'
Chapter III: Project: Stalk
Kaiba watched carefully from his remote desk in the corner as Joey chatted casually with Yugi and the others. It was almost shameful to the young CEO to be so obsessed about something he could do so little about. He felt so... so... powerless.
Seto cringed. Powerless. Ack. If there was one thing Kaiba did not want to be was 'powerless'. He also didn't want to blush, which was getting very hard not to do, now a days. In fact, all he had to do was look at Joey to get a wave of fantasies.
It was most aggravating, his relationship with Joey, or lack thereof. Not to mention the fact that Kaiba knew virtually nothing about the blond. Sure, he knew he was cute, blond and liked to play duel monsters... But that much was obvious.
What Kaiba needed was to get to know Joey so intimately, that he would probably get disgusted and forget about the blond. Yes. That's best. If I get to know him better, I'll probably get turned off. Seto nodded to himself. Then a CEO such as myself won't have these petty worries of embarrassing himself.
Across the room, sitting in his own seat, not quit minding his own business, Bakura innocently stared at Kaiba's face.
He's deep in thought. Bakura concluded. But what about? What could be making such a brilliant person think like that? Certainly nothing trivial...
Bakura followed Kaiba's eyes to where he was looking at. Eh? Nani? Jounouchi-kun? Why...? Bakura blinked a few times. But why Joey? Bakura knew that, although Joey thought Kaiba was his true rival at duel monsters, Kaiba thought Joey was just another bug to be crushed. Then why am I jealous?
Because he's not looking at you.
Ryou nearly jumped. Bakura! The other one!
You're thinking about Kaiba again, aren't you?
Ano...
Traitor. I thought you loved only me! Think of our relationship!
What relationship?
Ouch. That hurt. You know... The one where I think up delicious images of us in interesting positions and you do the touching... you know...
Ah! Shut up! That happened once!
Ryou...
Ok... twice... But still! I regret it!
... But don't think that you can run away from me! I'm with you always! I know what you're thinking... I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER!
Leave me alone!
Eh... I can't. Traitor of my soul!
... At least let me swoon about Kaiba in silence. Without any interruptions.
Baka... Bakura thought of a mischievous situation that involved a tied up Kaiba and a rather... dominant looking Ryou.
Ryou blushed. Stop teasing me...
Keh! For now, at least.
Ryou waited a few moments before relaxing somewhat. Back to Kaiba.
He was still sitting without any sign of life, staring absently at Joey. Once again the jealously came back. Bakura blushed and sighed. Kaiba... My Kaiba... Will you ever look at me without detest? Will you ever like me at all? Even in the slightest? Will you... will you ever touch me...? Will you ever think of me kindly? With respect? With... love? Will you ever touch yourself and -
TRAITOR!
"GYAH!" Bakura jumped up. "Stop it!"
Suddenly, all eyes were on Bakura. Yes, all. Even Kaiba's.
Feeling himself blush, Bakura ran out of the room, about to cry. How embarrassing! Did you see the look on Kaiba's face?! He thinks I'm such an idiot!
Yeh... He's right...
IIe! Shut up!
Kaiba grunted as Bakura fled the scene.
Stupid Bakura.
***
"Mokuba, I'm home..." Kaiba announced his arrival. Yet, there was no response. "Mokuba? Where are you? Mokuba?"
Getting slightly worried - which was one of the top fifty emotions Kaiba hated to endure - the young CEO walked quickly to his room to set his things down before he searched any further for his little brother.
Upon entering his room, Kaiba got one of the biggest shock of his life... no... his day.
"Brother! Look! I'm you! YAAAAH!" Mokuba yelled as he jumped on Kaiba's bed... wearing one of his wigs and his coat that automatically waves dramatically out behind you. "Look!"
Kaiba blinked. "Mokuba! Take those off right now! Who said you could come in here?! What... what are you doing? MOKUBA!"
Sensing his older brother's anger, Mokuba jumped off the bed, throwing the wig on the floor simultaneously. He quickly shrugged off the jacket soon after, running out of the room as to avoid any further reprimanding.
Swearing softly to himself, Kaiba picked up the wig and jacket from the floor and tossed them on his bed, too lazy to properly put them back. After all, he had more important things to think about.
Joey...
Flopping down on his bed, Kaiba sighed and looked at the ceiling. Joey... Damn! Why can't I think about anything else! This is so irritating! I am Kaiba Seto! I... I have better things to do with my time!
Seto sighed and closed his eyes. What a weird day. Cute Joey... Stupid Bakura... Annoying Mokuba... Damn wig... Nuum... Nums... Sleeeeeeeep...
***
Kaiba felt a small trickling of water down the side of his face. Annoyed by this, he opened his eyes - and found that he was not in his room (which initially really freaked him out, but then he remembered that he was KAIBA SETO and calmed down a bit). But... as much as the room he was currently in was definitely not his, it did look somewhat familiar... But where...?
"Hello, Seto!"
"Gyah!" Kaiba gasped and turned around to the familiar voice behind him. "It's you! Pigment of my imagination! But...!"
The blob of imaginary colors did something that was the blob equivalent to a smile. "Good, you remembered..."
Seto shrugged. "What do you want?"
"The question is, what do you want."
"You know what I want, so stop asking."
"Joey...?"
"Yeh. But both you and I know that's never going to happen. Leave me alone."
"This is about the wig thing, isn't it?"
"Yes it's about the wig thing! That and everything else!"
"Everything else?"
"Yeah, you know. The whole male/male thing... and CEO thing... and being mean to him in the past thing... and my inability to show any emotion but menace, anger and annoyance. You know... those things."
"Ah. You have a point."
"So leave me alone!"
"That's not what I'm here for! Your subconscious consciously made you conscious of me for a good reason!"
"And what is that?"
"To get you what you want the most. After all, you are... we are... KAIBA SETO!"
"...We are."
"And Kaiba Seto always gets what he wants, right?"
"...He does... more or less... (except for that whole defeating Yugi in Duel Monsters thing)"
"And we want Joey, don't we?"
"Yes... we do."
"Then Joey will be ours. Joey will belong to Kaiba Seto."
Kaiba smiled demonically. "Yes... He will..."
***
Bakura silently sat in the tree next to Kaiba's window. (Yes, you know there is always a tree) This is so shameful... watching Kaiba-kun like this...!
What's so shameful about it?
He... He doesn't know I'm here!
What's the difference between this and watching him at school when he doesn't know about it?
... But...
Hey, don't expect me to hold up the opposing point to your argument! You wanted to come here. I just... uh... tagged along.
Eh... But isn't he so cute when he sleeps?
Geh. Traitor.
Bakura shifted his position in the tree so that one leaf wasn't in his way anymore. He could now see Kaiba in plain sight. And what a glorious sight that was. Seto. On his bed. All alone. Well, almost all alone. There was this ball of fuzz on the other side of Kaiba, so it hindered Ryou's view, but it was the same color of his hair. Eh... must be some kind of cat. Aww... Kaiba has a kitty! KAWAII!
"Yes..." Kaiba mumbled in his sleep, shifting silently. "He will be... ours..."
Bakura sighed. You will be mine...
Well... He will be ours.
Ah! Bakura! What are you talking about? He'll be mine!
You can't get rid of me. So he'll be ours... Traitor.
Bakura sighed. Kaiba... he looked so cute and innocent when he slept. Probably gathered up a lot of stress during the day.
And so, Day 1 of Ryou's Project: Stalk has begun. A large tree has been found useful outside of Kaiba-kun's room. A branch on the northwest side of the tree has perfect view of Seto's room. It is approximately 5:23 PM on a Thursday. Seto appears to be taking a nap; he sleeps on his bed with this normal clothes on. He mumbled 'Yes, he will be ours' in his sleep. He appears to have a small cat, the same color of his hair. End.
That was beautiful. What am I supposed to do with it?
Remind me to write it all down in my notebook later tonight.
Geh. You know you can't live without me.
...
***
It is Friday morning and all is right. Right? Of course I'm right. I'm Kaiba Seto, and today I'm going to begin my new project: Covert Operation: Stalk Joey. With all my technological advances, this should be cake.
Seto had spent the better part of last night getting all the equipment he needed, and the better part of the morning setting mini cameras/recording devices all around the school. There will be nothing Joey does or say that I won't know about! Mwahaha!
The young CEO was nearly drooling by the time Biology was about to start. Joey sat behind him, as always. And he was talking about Duel Monsters... as always.
And the inevitable happened; Joey talked to Seto. (Heavenly voices: Aaaaah...)
"...That's right, Kaiba! Fear the worst! I'm going to beat you at Duel Monstas, once and for all!"
Kaiba blinked. Do not act out of character. I repeat, do not act out of character. If you do, I shall have to kill you. (Heavenly voices: AAAAAH...) "What's this? The puppy thinks he can beat me? How pathetic."
(Heavenly voices: "...gah...")
"That's right! Beat me if you can!"
Kaiba smiled to himself. (smiling outwardly was strictly forbidden) "How sad. Don't talk to me."
"I'll talk to whoever I want!" Joey fumed.
He's so cute when he's mad! Seto narrowed his eyes. "Feh. Go away... puppy."
As Joey continued to fume about this, Bakura watched Seto intensely.
Joey's out of his league. He can't even beat Yugi... then again... Kaiba-kun can't either... Nor can I... Ok... so comparison to Yugi was a bad idea. But he's still out of his league. Boasting to Seto about your skill at Duel Monsters was a bad idea. A very bad idea.
Seto's coat waved dramatically behind him as he exited the room, leaving Joey fuming and Bakura in awe. On his way out, (after making sure no one was around) Seto smiled and continued on placing cameras around the school.
And so it begins.
Note: Geh. Sorry that took a while. It would have been longer too, if Trag hadn't threatened me. By the way, if you see a mistake in either my English or Japanese, tell me. (I make it an effort to make my writing more correct than my speaking - and if you've ever heard me speak... Gyah...) Oh, and mistakes when Joey talks doesn't count. I know I can't be the only one that thinks that Joey saying "I'll talk to whomever I want!" just doesn't sound right. And the 'Duel Monstas' thing was intentional. If you've noticed, I have these unintentional blend of the American and Japanese Yu-Gi-Oh! Well ... toodles.