Not Your Average Gun(wo)men
******A.N.- Trigun does not belong to me. Devil May Cry does not belong to me. Hellsing does not belong to me. South/West doesn't belong to me; I just live there. I belong to me and so do all other original characters. No suey- I got no money for you.the bill collectors took it all.*******
The Doors: The Angels: The Fallen: The Fey: Elemental Gate Uriel Lucifer Ma' Stald Space/Time Gate Michael T'anos Terei Balance Gate
Chapter One- The Artist, the Engineer and the Voice of "Reason"
Home, home on the Stockton campus.
South/West Hall, a residence hall at University of the Pacific, was never quiet, and never peaceful. Ever. Whenever you went wandering through the halls, someone had their radio on a little too loudly, or was running around chased by someone on roller blades, or there was some sort of physical damage done to the building that reminded you that not everyone took anger management seriously. The rest of the time (after you've decided to run for the hills) meetings were being held in one or the other lounge, some sort of demonstration was about to get underway, people were hung over, or freaking out about homework- or a combination of all of the above.
In short, it was a great place for college kids to live.
At least, that was the case for the girls who moved in during the late summer to start their freshman year as an engineer and an English/Artist major respectively. The two did not share a room, weren't sure where, exactly, they'd met before, and probably knew next to nothing about conformity in all its glory. What they did know was that they shared an innate love of Taco Bell, anime, and video games. After all, what else is there?
Midterms, school reports, art projects and microcontrollers?
Anyways.
The two shared an innate love of gun-toting psychopaths, or sword-wielding nutcases. Lex (the liberal arts major) loved Legato and Dante. Tabs (the engineer and/or mad scientist) loved Vash the Stampede and Dante. Of course, they'd never get to actually meet the boys (psst, girls- they're not real!) especially since their campus was so damn boring half the time, but it didn't really keep them from dreaming. Of course, those dreams were about to be shattered by a very interesting reality.
"Goddamn piece of shit.come out.grr!"
"Cookie?"
"Over on the desk.wait, what?" She looked up but no one was there.
Tabs shrugged, chalking up the voice to her overactive schizophrenia and went back to work. Unbeknownst to her, a cookie levitated and vanished as she continued work on the computer.
The door to Southwest #214 was half-open, revealing a room of hardwood floor and a large pile of clothes and books shoved into one corner. The bed was half-made, as if its occupant had forgotten to finish what she was doing before moving on to more important- and more interesting- things. Water dripped steadily from a sink in the corner, but the sound was overruled by the playing of the Hellsing soundtrack, as well as the occasional muffled curse from the girl sitting in the floor. Her blondish- brown hair was greasy and hung down the sides of her face, obscuring most of the lines as she carefully unscrewed one of the disk drivers from its socket. Late afternoon sunlight slanted into the room from her wall-to- wall windows, turning the wall hangings and pictures into splashes of vivid color while she worked at pulling out the component that was irking her so badly.
"And you wonder why I don't allow you near Mo without constant supervision," came a voice from just outside the door. Hazel-blue eyes glinted up past the rims of wire glasses and the girl smirked. "Just look at you."
"All in the name of science," the blonde grinned, rubbing her hands together in a very Hojo-like style. Lex winced.
Lexs defined herself as the opposite of tall, thin and pretty. Well, in her opinion at least. ("Yo! It's true!") Her curly black hair was tied up under a bandana and she usually wore baggy jeans and a tank top with sneakers. Her eyes were a dark brown and she tended to either smile or smirk constantly. Right now, though, she looked very concerned due to the slightly insane smile her friend was exhibiting.
"Okay, okay, stop. Just.just stop. You're worrying me." Tabs stopped rubbing her hands together and just smiled, standing up.
"Sorry," Tabs said, sounding amused. "So, what's up?"
"Tara and I were thinking we need some real food, as opposed to the crap they feed us in the dining hall. She's driving," Lex added when Tab raised an eyebrow. "You'll drive down the one-way street the wrong way if I let you in the car in Lodi."
"Lodi? Does that mean we're going home?" Tabs asked hopefully. "Home" would be Lex's house, not her own, due to a fear of overbearing mom and oversensitive boyfriends and various other annoying parts of being in a family. Actually, it wasn't a fear of the family, it was a fear of what the family would do when they found out she had a C in Computer Science ("I take things apart! What do I care about what the programs are doing!?") or a B in Calculus ("Fucking derivatives!")
Then again, there always were the wonders of Computer Art I (beep beep beeeeeeep!) and/or English ("My mother is a fish."). Don't ask. No, really. Don't. Design and color: ("I'm feeling a bit woozy from the fumes." "Gee, maybe cause they're TOXIC?!")
Just then, Tara knocked on the door. "Hey, are we ready to go yet?" she asked
Oh, yeah, that would be Tara, the International Studies major, Tara, with warm brown eyes and a small smirk dressed in all black from head to toe. The "hallucination" seemed to pause as they all grinned at one another. As an international major, she also takes Perspectives on World History ("Do NOT study for Perspectives before going to sleep. You'll have some really strange dreams.Anyways!"), French ("Le fichi professeur doit apprendre a enseigner le fichu francais.Damnez-le.!")
Strange group? Oooh yeah, and the only thing that they share is sarcasm, anime, food.and a car. And a life, too. Sort of.
Tab stood up and slung a large blue overnight bag over her shoulder. "Iczer!" she exclaimed happily before prancing out the door, much to the consternation of her two friends.
"Did you give her sugar?" Tara asked finally.
"No, but half the bag of cookies is gone. She gave herself sugar," Lex said, shrugging. Tara nodded, and they chalked up the overactive blonde to an extreme sugar high and trudged after her, Lex yelling, "Hey! Hey! Short legs here! Wait up!"
* * *
"This was you today!" Lex accused.
"I was not! We did not do flips and I did NOT fall asleep at the wheel!" Tabs protested as BNL continued singing happily about highway hypnosis.
"No, but I was waiting for it to!" Lex shouted over the music.
Tara just grinned while driving down I-5 north, heading toward Lodi, where they'd get food.for both the car and the people in the car.
"I'm never letting you drive my car again!" Lex exclaimed, sitting back in the passenger seat.
"Yes, you will," Tab said confidently with a grin. "Just wait 'til your bony protrusion acts up!"
"Hey, I can drive us places. I don't death-merge.and I don't go down one- way streets the wrong way," Tara pointed out.
"You're not helping my situation here," Tab muttered, loudly enough to make them smirk as they took the exit for the Lodi truck stop. A motorcycle revved behind them, speeding past and vanishing from sight. Lex stopped laughing long enough to peer out her windshield carefully. "Wait a second.was that man wearing a long red crushed velvet cape?"
"Lex."
"Yes, Tara?"
"You played DMC2 all night, didn't you?" Tab accused before Tara could say anything. Lex grinned.
"Cookie?" she offered hopefully.
"No more DMC, okay? I don't need you hallucinating during the ride home," Tara said calmly as they pulled up to Taco Bell. "We'll watch Trigun instead, and X, ok?"
"Sure. Wee!"
Tabs had slid out of the car already and were stretching her legs, walking around in an increasingly small circle. A large, black leather-bound zippered shut box about the size of a small sketchbook was sticking out of her back pocket, partly visible under her short black overcoat.
Lex stopped walking. "Tab, is that a computer toolkit in your back pocket?" The blonde stopped walking and casually put a hand over her pocket defensively as Lex held out her hand. Tab shook her head and backed away slowly around the car and Lex followed, saying, "You are not entering my house with a full toolkit, Tabitha. I mean it." When Tab shook her head again stubbornly and Lex sighed, looking over at Tara, who nodded, tackling Tab from behind.
"Hell no! NO! NOT MY TOOLS!! GIVE THEM BACK, GIVE THEM BACK!!!" Tab screamed as she tumbled to the ground, accidentally on purpose pulling out the toolkit and throwing it into the still-open car. A crowd began to grow around the three hysterically laughing girls as Tara calmly put Tab's arms in a joint lock and Lex searched the girl for any extra tools.
"Okay, you're free to go," Lex proclaimed and Tara let her go. They all stood up, dusted themselves off, and entered the Taco Bell restaurant, looking very unassuming and calm, even when the group began whispering, wondering if the two were really undercover cops here to bust the drug ring inside.
"Good evening, ladies. What can I get you tonight?" the employee behind the counter started to ask when Tara said abruptly:
"I need to pee"
before vanishing into the side hallway where the restrooms were located. "Would you like fries with that, or nachos?" the employee asked sarcastically.
"Dude, she has to pee! She hasn't ordered yet. Me, on the other hand, I want a number eight with nachos. She wants a number ten and a bean burrito. Tara." Tara reappeared and ordered quickly. They paid and sat in one of the booths while waiting for the food, watching the sunset through one window. "So," Lex said casually as they waited, "how are the wife and kids?"
Outside Taco Bell, two men who looked to be in their mid-twenties were sitting on the roof of a nearby gas station building. Both had long raven- black hair and glittering sapphire-blue eyes, and pale skin, but one wore a long black cloak with the hood pulled up and the other wore a neatly pressed suit. They were eerily similar in features, but the cloaked one had long black nails, whereas the other had regular human-like nails, and were most definitely not related, but the similarity was eerie enough that Tey occasionally claimed the Angel of Death as his twin brother.much to the annoyance of Uriel.
"And so it begins. How many accidents did we have to stop this time?" Tey asked, leaning back and looking up at the darkening sky.
Uriel favored the other man with a long, cool look while nibbling on a chocolate chip cookie carefully, trying to make it last. "Tey, Tara was driving, not one of our dear accident-prone charges. This time, they were safe."
"I'd love to meet her guardian angel. He's probably pretty cool." Tey looked over his shoulder at Uri. "Good cookie?"
"Not as good as homemade cookies, but it will suffice for now," Uri said, finishing it off with a smack of his lips. "I could use some milk, though."
"The world's about to end and he wants a glass of milk. Uri, you're a sweetie sometimes."
Uriel frowned, glaring before saying finally, "I am the Angel of Death and- "
Tey flapped a hand. "Been there, done that, heard it before, wasn't impressed then, not impressed now."
Uriel favored him with another long glance, then suddenly began to sing: "I'm cute.yes it's true. I'm cute and I'm cuddly, I'm sweet and I'm loving, and you, love me too!"
Tey edged away from Uri slowly. "That's a new one."
Inside, Lex was staring at a man with white hair and blue eyes with studied fascination. "Wow, he's ready for Comic Con a little early. Or would that be Anime Expo?" Just then, she spotted two very real-looking guns in hip holsters. "Um.those are illegal except in Texas."
"So go tell him," Tabs said through a mouthful of burrito.
"No, you go tell him. He looks too much like Dante."
"Hell, no! Tara, you go tell him."
Tara shrugged and sipped some soda. "Okay." She started to stand when Tab grabbed her arm.
"No, no! Kidding!"
"Oh, it's fine. I'm not as afraid of him as you obviously-" Lex interrupted her and grabbed Tara's other arm, pointing at the handgun aimed at them under the table. "Um never mind. I'll just sit down," Tara said meekly, sitting back down. Just then, the door opened and the boys from S/W #217 strolled through the door.
"Yo, Zero!" Tab called out, waving frantically and falling out of the booth. The taller blonde paused and smiled, waving.
"Zero, sit with us and I'll give you a haircut!" Lex called out happily, waving a nacho at him while Tab picked herself up off the floor. Zero just winced and began backing away slowly until his roomie, X, grabbed his arm, keeping himself between Lex and the now-frightened Hunter.
"That was unnecessarily cruel," Tara whispered loudly.
"Would you rather I threatened to stick an ass plug in him?" Lex demanded.
At the other booth, Dante choked on his soda and began to walk away quickly, reholstering the handgun. He muttered something to his red-haired partner who just stared over at the three girls with something akin to shock. Tab was back in the floor choking with laughter and wishing she had a hair tie as Zero and X sat, staring at the girls worriedly over their nachos and tacos. "Why are you all laughing insanely?" X asked.
"Okay, I have to ask. Why is it you go from mildly violent to perverse?" Zero demanded, sitting down in the booth next to Tab. He unwrapped a chalupa and munched it, obviously having heard the comment.
"I dunno. You just look like an ass plug kinda guy," Tara said, taking the straw out of her cup and shredding the straw wrapper.
"Bite me," Zero scowled through a mouthful of food. When Tara just smiled, he wilted a little. "Um.never mind.."
"So," Tabs said when the conversation died, actually taking up the initiative and starting a conversation, "what's that over there?" she asked so casually that it everyone looked over to where she was pointing, out the window at something large and hulking in the parking lot.
"A wolf?"
"A car?"
"It's super-puppy!"
Tara smacked Zero for that last comment and he laughed, throwing a french fry at her. "Be useful, Zero, or shut up."
"I'll just shut up, then."
Tab stood up and leaned over, pressing her hands against the clean window. The creature looked like something out of a fantasy/horror book or video game. Its eyes were glowing red and teeth filled its mouth. The play of muscles under its skin was more distracting than the creature since she wasn't quite sure what it was. It stalked toward the Taco Bell as the sun slid below the horizon, bathing the outdoors in shadows. Suddenly, it leapt forward with a roar and crashed through the window, scattering the startled college kids as someone screamed.
"X! Stop screaming! And get off of me"
"Sorry, Lex." X grinned sheepishly but didn't bother standing; instead, he backed away, his right arm whirring mechanically and becoming his buster cannon suddenly. Lex just stared at the monster before finally saying,
"You know, its kinda cute. Think I could take it home?"
"I don't think it would fit in the car," Zero said conversationally, a long saber appearing in his left hand.
"You might be able to ride it home, though. Hell, we all might fit on its back," Tab added helpfully. For her efforts Tara smacked her.
"Tabitha, why are you giving her ideas?"
Meanwhile, Lex had approached the monstrosity and was attempting to feed the oversized wolf a nacho. "Look, the poor baby's hungry- OW, you son of a bitch!" Lex screamed, backhanding it hard enough to not only stagger it back several steps but also almost knock it over. The monster recovered and X moved farther away from Lex as it dove at her. Lex glared. "You goddamn thing, I'll knock your ass out and when you wake up, you WILL be at my house and if you eat Magic- or Mully- I'll make you wish I had killed you!" At the last moment, right before its jaws could close on her, Tara tackled her and knocked them both to the side even as Lex continued to scream at it. "You stupid, ungrateful, carnivorous-"
"What side is that bony protrusion on, again?" Tara interrupted.
"The left side," Lex answered before continuing her ranting, "And if you think.." She twitched once and suddenly fell silent.
Just then, several gunshots were heard from the direction of the bathroom and the monster fell dead at their feet as Dante walked back into the main area of the restaurant, calmly zipping his pants one-handedly, with Ivory out and aimed at the monster. "hey, mister!" Tab yelled from her corner, where she was trying to get into the security room so they could have a tape of the whole incident, "those guns are illegal except in Texas!"
Conformity. Wha?
"So is the theft of security tapes," Dante snapped as she chortled suddenly, vanishing into the security room.
Tara stood up with Lex under one arm. Lex looked unconscious and Zero sheathed his saber, asking, "What'd you to Lex?"
"She has an off button now!" Tara exclaimed triumphantly, pointing to the left side of Lex's neck where the supposed bony protrusion resided.
"I.see," Zero said slowly, helping X stand. "Okay, now that we're done visiting hallucination land."
"It's not a hallucination," Tab said, reappearing suddenly.
"Of course it isn't- what?" Zero frowned. "It has to be. Twelve foot tall wolves don't exist in real life."
Tab held up the security tape looking uncharacteristically serious. "If it were a hallucination, it wouldn't show up on tape, right? Well, guess what.it's on the tape. Which means, ta-da, it's real!"
"Um, but how?" Zero demanded.
"Ask him." Tab pointed at Dante who rolled his eyes and started to say something when Lex woke up.
"So, did I kill it?"
"Well.not exactly," Tara said, looking alarmed when Lex began to pout. "But you did wound it severely."
Dante snorted and walked off. If these kids were the hope of this world.well, the world was not in good hands.
"Anyways, let's get going home," Lex said suddenly, squirming free of Tara's grasp. "Dad's gonna be looking for us."
"Yea! Let's go!"
And the three ran out of the room, leaving Zero and X to explain matters to the oncoming policemen.
******A.N.- Trigun does not belong to me. Devil May Cry does not belong to me. Hellsing does not belong to me. South/West doesn't belong to me; I just live there. I belong to me and so do all other original characters. No suey- I got no money for you.the bill collectors took it all.*******
The Doors: The Angels: The Fallen: The Fey: Elemental Gate Uriel Lucifer Ma' Stald Space/Time Gate Michael T'anos Terei Balance Gate
Chapter One- The Artist, the Engineer and the Voice of "Reason"
Home, home on the Stockton campus.
South/West Hall, a residence hall at University of the Pacific, was never quiet, and never peaceful. Ever. Whenever you went wandering through the halls, someone had their radio on a little too loudly, or was running around chased by someone on roller blades, or there was some sort of physical damage done to the building that reminded you that not everyone took anger management seriously. The rest of the time (after you've decided to run for the hills) meetings were being held in one or the other lounge, some sort of demonstration was about to get underway, people were hung over, or freaking out about homework- or a combination of all of the above.
In short, it was a great place for college kids to live.
At least, that was the case for the girls who moved in during the late summer to start their freshman year as an engineer and an English/Artist major respectively. The two did not share a room, weren't sure where, exactly, they'd met before, and probably knew next to nothing about conformity in all its glory. What they did know was that they shared an innate love of Taco Bell, anime, and video games. After all, what else is there?
Midterms, school reports, art projects and microcontrollers?
Anyways.
The two shared an innate love of gun-toting psychopaths, or sword-wielding nutcases. Lex (the liberal arts major) loved Legato and Dante. Tabs (the engineer and/or mad scientist) loved Vash the Stampede and Dante. Of course, they'd never get to actually meet the boys (psst, girls- they're not real!) especially since their campus was so damn boring half the time, but it didn't really keep them from dreaming. Of course, those dreams were about to be shattered by a very interesting reality.
"Goddamn piece of shit.come out.grr!"
"Cookie?"
"Over on the desk.wait, what?" She looked up but no one was there.
Tabs shrugged, chalking up the voice to her overactive schizophrenia and went back to work. Unbeknownst to her, a cookie levitated and vanished as she continued work on the computer.
The door to Southwest #214 was half-open, revealing a room of hardwood floor and a large pile of clothes and books shoved into one corner. The bed was half-made, as if its occupant had forgotten to finish what she was doing before moving on to more important- and more interesting- things. Water dripped steadily from a sink in the corner, but the sound was overruled by the playing of the Hellsing soundtrack, as well as the occasional muffled curse from the girl sitting in the floor. Her blondish- brown hair was greasy and hung down the sides of her face, obscuring most of the lines as she carefully unscrewed one of the disk drivers from its socket. Late afternoon sunlight slanted into the room from her wall-to- wall windows, turning the wall hangings and pictures into splashes of vivid color while she worked at pulling out the component that was irking her so badly.
"And you wonder why I don't allow you near Mo without constant supervision," came a voice from just outside the door. Hazel-blue eyes glinted up past the rims of wire glasses and the girl smirked. "Just look at you."
"All in the name of science," the blonde grinned, rubbing her hands together in a very Hojo-like style. Lex winced.
Lexs defined herself as the opposite of tall, thin and pretty. Well, in her opinion at least. ("Yo! It's true!") Her curly black hair was tied up under a bandana and she usually wore baggy jeans and a tank top with sneakers. Her eyes were a dark brown and she tended to either smile or smirk constantly. Right now, though, she looked very concerned due to the slightly insane smile her friend was exhibiting.
"Okay, okay, stop. Just.just stop. You're worrying me." Tabs stopped rubbing her hands together and just smiled, standing up.
"Sorry," Tabs said, sounding amused. "So, what's up?"
"Tara and I were thinking we need some real food, as opposed to the crap they feed us in the dining hall. She's driving," Lex added when Tab raised an eyebrow. "You'll drive down the one-way street the wrong way if I let you in the car in Lodi."
"Lodi? Does that mean we're going home?" Tabs asked hopefully. "Home" would be Lex's house, not her own, due to a fear of overbearing mom and oversensitive boyfriends and various other annoying parts of being in a family. Actually, it wasn't a fear of the family, it was a fear of what the family would do when they found out she had a C in Computer Science ("I take things apart! What do I care about what the programs are doing!?") or a B in Calculus ("Fucking derivatives!")
Then again, there always were the wonders of Computer Art I (beep beep beeeeeeep!) and/or English ("My mother is a fish."). Don't ask. No, really. Don't. Design and color: ("I'm feeling a bit woozy from the fumes." "Gee, maybe cause they're TOXIC?!")
Just then, Tara knocked on the door. "Hey, are we ready to go yet?" she asked
Oh, yeah, that would be Tara, the International Studies major, Tara, with warm brown eyes and a small smirk dressed in all black from head to toe. The "hallucination" seemed to pause as they all grinned at one another. As an international major, she also takes Perspectives on World History ("Do NOT study for Perspectives before going to sleep. You'll have some really strange dreams.Anyways!"), French ("Le fichi professeur doit apprendre a enseigner le fichu francais.Damnez-le.!")
Strange group? Oooh yeah, and the only thing that they share is sarcasm, anime, food.and a car. And a life, too. Sort of.
Tab stood up and slung a large blue overnight bag over her shoulder. "Iczer!" she exclaimed happily before prancing out the door, much to the consternation of her two friends.
"Did you give her sugar?" Tara asked finally.
"No, but half the bag of cookies is gone. She gave herself sugar," Lex said, shrugging. Tara nodded, and they chalked up the overactive blonde to an extreme sugar high and trudged after her, Lex yelling, "Hey! Hey! Short legs here! Wait up!"
* * *
"This was you today!" Lex accused.
"I was not! We did not do flips and I did NOT fall asleep at the wheel!" Tabs protested as BNL continued singing happily about highway hypnosis.
"No, but I was waiting for it to!" Lex shouted over the music.
Tara just grinned while driving down I-5 north, heading toward Lodi, where they'd get food.for both the car and the people in the car.
"I'm never letting you drive my car again!" Lex exclaimed, sitting back in the passenger seat.
"Yes, you will," Tab said confidently with a grin. "Just wait 'til your bony protrusion acts up!"
"Hey, I can drive us places. I don't death-merge.and I don't go down one- way streets the wrong way," Tara pointed out.
"You're not helping my situation here," Tab muttered, loudly enough to make them smirk as they took the exit for the Lodi truck stop. A motorcycle revved behind them, speeding past and vanishing from sight. Lex stopped laughing long enough to peer out her windshield carefully. "Wait a second.was that man wearing a long red crushed velvet cape?"
"Lex."
"Yes, Tara?"
"You played DMC2 all night, didn't you?" Tab accused before Tara could say anything. Lex grinned.
"Cookie?" she offered hopefully.
"No more DMC, okay? I don't need you hallucinating during the ride home," Tara said calmly as they pulled up to Taco Bell. "We'll watch Trigun instead, and X, ok?"
"Sure. Wee!"
Tabs had slid out of the car already and were stretching her legs, walking around in an increasingly small circle. A large, black leather-bound zippered shut box about the size of a small sketchbook was sticking out of her back pocket, partly visible under her short black overcoat.
Lex stopped walking. "Tab, is that a computer toolkit in your back pocket?" The blonde stopped walking and casually put a hand over her pocket defensively as Lex held out her hand. Tab shook her head and backed away slowly around the car and Lex followed, saying, "You are not entering my house with a full toolkit, Tabitha. I mean it." When Tab shook her head again stubbornly and Lex sighed, looking over at Tara, who nodded, tackling Tab from behind.
"Hell no! NO! NOT MY TOOLS!! GIVE THEM BACK, GIVE THEM BACK!!!" Tab screamed as she tumbled to the ground, accidentally on purpose pulling out the toolkit and throwing it into the still-open car. A crowd began to grow around the three hysterically laughing girls as Tara calmly put Tab's arms in a joint lock and Lex searched the girl for any extra tools.
"Okay, you're free to go," Lex proclaimed and Tara let her go. They all stood up, dusted themselves off, and entered the Taco Bell restaurant, looking very unassuming and calm, even when the group began whispering, wondering if the two were really undercover cops here to bust the drug ring inside.
"Good evening, ladies. What can I get you tonight?" the employee behind the counter started to ask when Tara said abruptly:
"I need to pee"
before vanishing into the side hallway where the restrooms were located. "Would you like fries with that, or nachos?" the employee asked sarcastically.
"Dude, she has to pee! She hasn't ordered yet. Me, on the other hand, I want a number eight with nachos. She wants a number ten and a bean burrito. Tara." Tara reappeared and ordered quickly. They paid and sat in one of the booths while waiting for the food, watching the sunset through one window. "So," Lex said casually as they waited, "how are the wife and kids?"
Outside Taco Bell, two men who looked to be in their mid-twenties were sitting on the roof of a nearby gas station building. Both had long raven- black hair and glittering sapphire-blue eyes, and pale skin, but one wore a long black cloak with the hood pulled up and the other wore a neatly pressed suit. They were eerily similar in features, but the cloaked one had long black nails, whereas the other had regular human-like nails, and were most definitely not related, but the similarity was eerie enough that Tey occasionally claimed the Angel of Death as his twin brother.much to the annoyance of Uriel.
"And so it begins. How many accidents did we have to stop this time?" Tey asked, leaning back and looking up at the darkening sky.
Uriel favored the other man with a long, cool look while nibbling on a chocolate chip cookie carefully, trying to make it last. "Tey, Tara was driving, not one of our dear accident-prone charges. This time, they were safe."
"I'd love to meet her guardian angel. He's probably pretty cool." Tey looked over his shoulder at Uri. "Good cookie?"
"Not as good as homemade cookies, but it will suffice for now," Uri said, finishing it off with a smack of his lips. "I could use some milk, though."
"The world's about to end and he wants a glass of milk. Uri, you're a sweetie sometimes."
Uriel frowned, glaring before saying finally, "I am the Angel of Death and- "
Tey flapped a hand. "Been there, done that, heard it before, wasn't impressed then, not impressed now."
Uriel favored him with another long glance, then suddenly began to sing: "I'm cute.yes it's true. I'm cute and I'm cuddly, I'm sweet and I'm loving, and you, love me too!"
Tey edged away from Uri slowly. "That's a new one."
Inside, Lex was staring at a man with white hair and blue eyes with studied fascination. "Wow, he's ready for Comic Con a little early. Or would that be Anime Expo?" Just then, she spotted two very real-looking guns in hip holsters. "Um.those are illegal except in Texas."
"So go tell him," Tabs said through a mouthful of burrito.
"No, you go tell him. He looks too much like Dante."
"Hell, no! Tara, you go tell him."
Tara shrugged and sipped some soda. "Okay." She started to stand when Tab grabbed her arm.
"No, no! Kidding!"
"Oh, it's fine. I'm not as afraid of him as you obviously-" Lex interrupted her and grabbed Tara's other arm, pointing at the handgun aimed at them under the table. "Um never mind. I'll just sit down," Tara said meekly, sitting back down. Just then, the door opened and the boys from S/W #217 strolled through the door.
"Yo, Zero!" Tab called out, waving frantically and falling out of the booth. The taller blonde paused and smiled, waving.
"Zero, sit with us and I'll give you a haircut!" Lex called out happily, waving a nacho at him while Tab picked herself up off the floor. Zero just winced and began backing away slowly until his roomie, X, grabbed his arm, keeping himself between Lex and the now-frightened Hunter.
"That was unnecessarily cruel," Tara whispered loudly.
"Would you rather I threatened to stick an ass plug in him?" Lex demanded.
At the other booth, Dante choked on his soda and began to walk away quickly, reholstering the handgun. He muttered something to his red-haired partner who just stared over at the three girls with something akin to shock. Tab was back in the floor choking with laughter and wishing she had a hair tie as Zero and X sat, staring at the girls worriedly over their nachos and tacos. "Why are you all laughing insanely?" X asked.
"Okay, I have to ask. Why is it you go from mildly violent to perverse?" Zero demanded, sitting down in the booth next to Tab. He unwrapped a chalupa and munched it, obviously having heard the comment.
"I dunno. You just look like an ass plug kinda guy," Tara said, taking the straw out of her cup and shredding the straw wrapper.
"Bite me," Zero scowled through a mouthful of food. When Tara just smiled, he wilted a little. "Um.never mind.."
"So," Tabs said when the conversation died, actually taking up the initiative and starting a conversation, "what's that over there?" she asked so casually that it everyone looked over to where she was pointing, out the window at something large and hulking in the parking lot.
"A wolf?"
"A car?"
"It's super-puppy!"
Tara smacked Zero for that last comment and he laughed, throwing a french fry at her. "Be useful, Zero, or shut up."
"I'll just shut up, then."
Tab stood up and leaned over, pressing her hands against the clean window. The creature looked like something out of a fantasy/horror book or video game. Its eyes were glowing red and teeth filled its mouth. The play of muscles under its skin was more distracting than the creature since she wasn't quite sure what it was. It stalked toward the Taco Bell as the sun slid below the horizon, bathing the outdoors in shadows. Suddenly, it leapt forward with a roar and crashed through the window, scattering the startled college kids as someone screamed.
"X! Stop screaming! And get off of me"
"Sorry, Lex." X grinned sheepishly but didn't bother standing; instead, he backed away, his right arm whirring mechanically and becoming his buster cannon suddenly. Lex just stared at the monster before finally saying,
"You know, its kinda cute. Think I could take it home?"
"I don't think it would fit in the car," Zero said conversationally, a long saber appearing in his left hand.
"You might be able to ride it home, though. Hell, we all might fit on its back," Tab added helpfully. For her efforts Tara smacked her.
"Tabitha, why are you giving her ideas?"
Meanwhile, Lex had approached the monstrosity and was attempting to feed the oversized wolf a nacho. "Look, the poor baby's hungry- OW, you son of a bitch!" Lex screamed, backhanding it hard enough to not only stagger it back several steps but also almost knock it over. The monster recovered and X moved farther away from Lex as it dove at her. Lex glared. "You goddamn thing, I'll knock your ass out and when you wake up, you WILL be at my house and if you eat Magic- or Mully- I'll make you wish I had killed you!" At the last moment, right before its jaws could close on her, Tara tackled her and knocked them both to the side even as Lex continued to scream at it. "You stupid, ungrateful, carnivorous-"
"What side is that bony protrusion on, again?" Tara interrupted.
"The left side," Lex answered before continuing her ranting, "And if you think.." She twitched once and suddenly fell silent.
Just then, several gunshots were heard from the direction of the bathroom and the monster fell dead at their feet as Dante walked back into the main area of the restaurant, calmly zipping his pants one-handedly, with Ivory out and aimed at the monster. "hey, mister!" Tab yelled from her corner, where she was trying to get into the security room so they could have a tape of the whole incident, "those guns are illegal except in Texas!"
Conformity. Wha?
"So is the theft of security tapes," Dante snapped as she chortled suddenly, vanishing into the security room.
Tara stood up with Lex under one arm. Lex looked unconscious and Zero sheathed his saber, asking, "What'd you to Lex?"
"She has an off button now!" Tara exclaimed triumphantly, pointing to the left side of Lex's neck where the supposed bony protrusion resided.
"I.see," Zero said slowly, helping X stand. "Okay, now that we're done visiting hallucination land."
"It's not a hallucination," Tab said, reappearing suddenly.
"Of course it isn't- what?" Zero frowned. "It has to be. Twelve foot tall wolves don't exist in real life."
Tab held up the security tape looking uncharacteristically serious. "If it were a hallucination, it wouldn't show up on tape, right? Well, guess what.it's on the tape. Which means, ta-da, it's real!"
"Um, but how?" Zero demanded.
"Ask him." Tab pointed at Dante who rolled his eyes and started to say something when Lex woke up.
"So, did I kill it?"
"Well.not exactly," Tara said, looking alarmed when Lex began to pout. "But you did wound it severely."
Dante snorted and walked off. If these kids were the hope of this world.well, the world was not in good hands.
"Anyways, let's get going home," Lex said suddenly, squirming free of Tara's grasp. "Dad's gonna be looking for us."
"Yea! Let's go!"
And the three ran out of the room, leaving Zero and X to explain matters to the oncoming policemen.