Disclaimer-This is my first fan fiction. Mimi is not mine, she belongs to
Jonathan Larson. Based on a letter from my friend Ally, so therefore this
is detitcated to her.
Dear Diary,
Life is kinda scary right now but I don't care. I can't care, no one else seems to. God, I am just writing my feelings because when I say them, the words just fly away and no one hears them because they don't care enough to. People mostly care about other things, I am old enough to take care of myself. Words they saw just seem to leave their mouth and slur around me, forcing me to listen. I can feel my body decaying on the inside.
I have been doing heroin a lot lately. It's my own fault that I do it. I know what I do to myself everytime I shoot up. No one seems to think that I do, but I know very well. I'm sure I'll be okay. It has only been three weeks since I started but sometimes I feel like I am going to die. No matter what, I keep on wanting to get high.
The thing is I was always the good girl. I never got into trouble. I would have never dreamed that at the age of 15 I would be planning things around getting high. It started out as just experiencing life. I realize I still have to experience a lot more, but I am afraid for many reasons. I keep getting this sinking feeling everytime I think about it, but I have counted the hours since my last fix, 41. Is that bad? 14 times in three weeks. The world of drugs is still a stranger to me, I have only done heroin, and yet I am still labeled a druggie.
Part of me is in denial, the other part is afraid for myself. I get high to numb the pain and take away the stress, but now I constantly want to. I get high because I am sad. I am sad because I get high. It is a never ending cycle. How depressing is that? Oh well thats enough writing for now. I know I will regret this later.
~Mimi Marquez~
Dear Diary,
Life is kinda scary right now but I don't care. I can't care, no one else seems to. God, I am just writing my feelings because when I say them, the words just fly away and no one hears them because they don't care enough to. People mostly care about other things, I am old enough to take care of myself. Words they saw just seem to leave their mouth and slur around me, forcing me to listen. I can feel my body decaying on the inside.
I have been doing heroin a lot lately. It's my own fault that I do it. I know what I do to myself everytime I shoot up. No one seems to think that I do, but I know very well. I'm sure I'll be okay. It has only been three weeks since I started but sometimes I feel like I am going to die. No matter what, I keep on wanting to get high.
The thing is I was always the good girl. I never got into trouble. I would have never dreamed that at the age of 15 I would be planning things around getting high. It started out as just experiencing life. I realize I still have to experience a lot more, but I am afraid for many reasons. I keep getting this sinking feeling everytime I think about it, but I have counted the hours since my last fix, 41. Is that bad? 14 times in three weeks. The world of drugs is still a stranger to me, I have only done heroin, and yet I am still labeled a druggie.
Part of me is in denial, the other part is afraid for myself. I get high to numb the pain and take away the stress, but now I constantly want to. I get high because I am sad. I am sad because I get high. It is a never ending cycle. How depressing is that? Oh well thats enough writing for now. I know I will regret this later.
~Mimi Marquez~