A/N: If you this chapter slightly disturbs you, I can't say I blame you. Don't worry, it'll be back to normal in the next chapter, but I just felt like goofing off a little for this one. However, it will get worse before it gets better. Bet you didn't know R2-D2 could sing, huh?
CHAPTER 3:
R2-D2 stared down at his random, wretched pile of supplies, and an inspiration hit him. He would go to the library! Hey, if it was good enough for Hermione Granger, it was good enough for him. Besides, he might just happen to have the tiniest bit of a crush on that lovely, sweet, intelligent, kind, witty, charming, beautiful, well-oiled, shiny protocol droid that served as the librarian. Just a little one, mind you. Yes, she was sure to find him just the right book; she had never failed him yet. Not that he'd actually checked out a book before, he'd been too shy to ask her, but… He reached the library, and rather nervously glided in through the sliding glass doors. There she was, XP-09. She sat at a desk, gracefully ached over the book she was gracefully and elegantly stamping for check-out. R2-D2 took in every inch as she smiled her heart-warming smile as she handed the book back to the small child. At least, R2-D2 assumed she was smiling, but it was hard to tell since her features were made of metal so they didn't change. He took a deep breath, or at least he would have if droids breathed, and rolled up to the desk.
Her clear, musical voice rang out, saying, "Yes, how may I help you?"
"…" This was the droid equivalent of standing there with your mouth hanging open. Finally, he pulled himself together, and asked, in a high, squeaky voice that made him string all his words together, "bookonmakingatrackingdevicepleasethankyouverymuchma'am"
"I'm terribly sorry, but I haven't the faintest idea what you just said"
For C-3PO's sake, he composed himself, and asked her politely for a book on constructing your own tracking devices.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry Mr. D2, but I gave the main one to someone earlier this morning. I only have one left, and it's rather unorthodox, so it may not be quite what you're looking for. Still, you wait here and I'll go fetch it."
As he watched her retreating back as she disappeared among the jungle of books, a stampeding herd of wild banthas couldn't have moved him from the spot.
XP-09 returned with a fat volume that was a vivid shade of lime green, with purple bunnies decorating the spine rather than a title. "I do hope this will do".
R2-D2 flipped to the back cover and read the purple bold font: "Has your friend been kidnapped while touring Florida? Do you need to build a tracking in order to save your friend from grave peril? However, have you gone at out to the store only to find a wide variety of relatively useless supplies, including socks, scotch tape, and a French horn? Well, all you need to know is in this book. It will take you, step by step, through the process to rescue your friend, become a hero, and really impress your local librarian!" After reading the back cover, R2-D2 let out a whoooooop of joy, which was quickly hushed by a stern, "Sir, please, this a library!"
R2-D2 quickly explained it was perfect, and left. As he strolled along the street he kept thinking of XP-09, and soon began to hum tunes, and then burst out in full song that sounded like beeps to the passer-bys. He began with "On The Street Where She Lives", from My Fair Lady, then moved on to "Marian, Madame Librarian" from The Music Man, to "L-O-V-E" by Nat King Cole, and had begun "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" from The Lion King, when the passer-bys got sick of it and began to throw socks and Dunkin' Donuts at him yelling, "Oy! You! This ain't a musical!"
R2 got the point and shut up. He set off for home, knowing he had a lot of work ahead of him.