And they're off
Alpha 5: Hello and welcome to Power Rangers Amazing Race. This leg of the race will be from Angel Grove to Mariner Bay. When we last left our teams they were attempting to start the race. How they left is beyond me seeing how just about all of them didn't even know what the word leave meant. Teams ran to their bags, where their first clue was waiting. Billy and Trini got to the clue first.
Billy: Ten seconds into the race and we already have the lead.
Trini: What morons. I can't believe they seriously didn't know what the word leave meant.
(They rip open their clue as the other teams make their way to the route marker.)
Trini: Hop in the car
Don't go to far
To help you think
Go get a drink
The next clue
Is waiting for you
At the __________
Billy: Juice Bar! Ernie's Juice Bar!
Trini: Great let's go!
(They hop on one of the parked cars waiting for them, with Emily and Kat, hot on their heels and other teams not far behind.)
Cole: Maya do you know how to work this thing? I can't get it to go. What kind of animal is it?
Maya: It must be some kind of animal only found in Angel Grove because I've never seen it before.
(They stand their staring at the car for a little while longer until they shrug and decide to walk.)
**********************************************************
(Back at the route marker Leo and Mike are still trying to figure out the clue.)
Mike: Is waiting for you
At the _________
Leo: Star!
Mike: Huh?
Leo: It's saying we have to go on a plane, up in the air as high as the stars.
Mike: Okay but where are we flying? And what about the drink part?
Leo: We'll figure out the flying part later. And we can get a drink on the plane. . .duh!
Mike: Oh okay! Let's go!
(They jump in the last car and take off in the wrong direction towards the airport. Back on the road an all out battle has commenced as everyone wants to be the first team to get a clue.)
***************************
Jen: LET'S GO! MOVE IT GRAMPA! WHO THE HELL TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DRIVE?!
(She swerves into the other lane and cuts off Ransik and Nadira causing them to slam on their breaks, starting a domino affect of car crashes.)
Jen: (looking back at the other cars) Suckers.
(At the Juice Bar Billy and Trini arrive first followed by Emily and Kat, Jason and Tommy, Andros and Karone, and Jen and Wes. )
Ernie: Hey kids! Good to see yas.
Jason and Tommy: BRO!!!!
Ernie: Oh no not them two again!
Tommy: Hey Kat, Emily wanna watch me and Jason do karate? It'll be just like old times!
Kat: Tommy, the race. Remember?
Tommy: The what?
Jason: Em, check me out!!! Hi ya!
Emily: Jason. . .the race!
Jason: Aww man. . .I wanna karate!
Jen: All right, let's cut the small talk. At the rate we're going this will take all day. Do you have a clue for us or not?
Ernie: Oh yeah oh course but you can't get it until you drink one of my famous juices.
Jason and Tommy: Juice!! Yeah!
(Ernie gives them the juice as the other teams start to arrive)
Trini: Hurry up Billy chug! The other teams are here!!
(Tommy and Jason finish their juice first and Ernie hand them their clue.)
Tommy: Deee. . .tourrrr. Bro, what's a detour?
Jason: I have no idea bro.
Tommy: We better wait for the girls.
(The boys go over to Kat and Emily and look at them.)
Kat: What now?
Tommy: Help?
Kat: Oh Jesus. You two are hopeless.
Jason: Em, what's a detour?
Emily: (shakes her head) And I wanted to be your partner. . .(opens the clue). . .detour.
Alpha 5: A detour is a choice between two tasks, both with pros and cons. This detour is entitled "ropes or slopes". Teams must make their way to Stone Canyon Cliff where they must choose a way to get to the bottom of the cliff where their next clue is waiting. If a team chooses "ropes" they must rappel 300 feet down the cliff. Only two teams can rappel at a time. The task is scary but fast. If a team chooses "slopes" then they must followed a rainbow-marked course to the bottom of the cliff. This choice is safer but will take more time.
Kat: Okay let's go
**********************
(At the airport Leo and Mike are trying to figure out which flight to take, unaware that they solved the clue incorrectly.)
Mike: So where should we fly to?
Leo: I don't care as long as I get a window seat.
****************************
(Back at the Juice Bar Eric and Merrick arrive quite pissed and the trumpets blare once again.)
Eric: Where is Jen at?
Merrick: She was a rat.
Eric: She caused a crash.
Merrick: And we got smashed.
Eric: We ripped our outfits.
Merrick: And we don't have our sewing kits.
Eric: So give us the clue.
Merrick: So we won't be blue.
Rita: Would you two stop rhyming? You're giving me a headache!
Eric: What are you talking about? We don't rhyme, you're nuts.
Merrick: Now let's drink some juice and go kick Jen's butt!
(They quickly drink their juice and jog off singing their song.)
Nadira: Those two worry me Daddy.
Ransik: They worry me too princess, they worry me too.
*************************
(Back at the airport we see Mike and Leo about to board the plane, but no one is quite sure on why.)
Leo: I get a window seat! I get a window seat!
Mike: Fine, but if you gotta go to the bathroom you're out of luck.
(Leo hangs his head in sadness because he knows he has a small bladder.)
Leo: I knew I should have gone before we left, damn!
**********************************
At Stone Canyon Cliff. . .
Emily: What do you think, should we repel or walk?
Kat: Dunno. Repelling would be faster that's for sure.
Emily: Yeah but do you have any idea how?
Kat: No. But I bet the boys do. . .TOMMY!!
Tommy: I'll save you!
Kat: No, I'm fine I just need a small favor. . .
********************************* Back on the plane. . .
Leo: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Mike: Would you stop it, you're embarrassing me. Now about those drinks. . .
Leo: Dude, that reminds me. . .I gotta go.
Mike: That sucks. I told you not to take the window seat, I'm not moving.
(Leo starts to squirm in his seat as a stewardess come over to offer them a drink.)
Stewardess: Can I get you anything to drink?
Mike: Yeah, we'll both have some juice and then you can give us our clue.
Stewardess: Your what?
Mike: Dammit! I should have never listened to you!
Leo: Mike, I really gotta go!!!
*************************************
(Back at the cliff, Tommy and Jason are repelling down, with Emily and Kat on their backs.)
Emily: This is why we're going to marry them. I knew they were good for something.
Kat: Yeah we gotta keep them around for a while so they can do all the hard stuff for us.
Jason: What's that girls?
Kat and Emily: Nothing!
(They get to the bottom of the cliff where Justin is standing with their next clue)
Justin: Hey guys!! I'm your next clue, isn't that cool?!
Tommy: Oh no, not him again.
Kat: (talking very slowly as if he was four) Justin this is a big person's game. So why don't you just go back home and leave the racing to the grownups.
Justin: But, Alpha said I could be a clue giver.
Kat: That's nice dear, but how about we do this. . .you give the clues to me and I'll get someone older to give them out okay?
Justin: No! It's my job, Alpha said!!
(As Justin continues to throw a temper tantrum Jen, Wes, Andros, and Karone, come down the cliff with Billy and Trini hot on their tails.)
Karone: Who's the kid, and why does he have our clue?
Justin: Shut up! I was a ranger too you know!
Andros: And what ranger where you then?
Justin: The Blue Turbo.
Andros: Turbo huh. . .and who was leader then? TJ! That stupid moron can't do anything right! Being a ranger under his command is nothing to be proud of kid.
Jen: So why don't you just hop on your big wheels, go home, and watch some barney. Oh and by the way, there is no such thing as Santa Claus!
(Justin throws the clues up in the air and runs away crying.)
Justin: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Wes picks up one of the clues. . .
Wes: What's this? It's very pretty paper!
Billy: Good god, who let him touch that?
(Jen rips it out of his hands and opens it.)
Jen: ROAD BLOCK!
Alpha 5: A roadblock is a task where only one team member can perform. (Looks at Jason and Tommy) That means between the two of you only ONE can go, the other has to sit and wait. Do you two understand that?
Tommy and Jason: Eh?
Alpha 5: This roadblock is entitled, "Row, Row, Row, Your Boat"
Jason: Gently down the stream!
Tommy: Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Wes: (In an opera tone of singing.) Life is but a dreaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!
Alpha 5: Once again I would ask why but I learned my lesson after the first time.
(The three boys are now dancing in a circle, holding hands. . .like in ring around the rosy. . .The girls grab them by the ears and tell them to sit and listen to Alpha.)
Jen: Go-ahead Alpha read the clue.
Alpha 5: But I just explained the whole thing.
(Jen turns to see Andros and Billy making their way towards the different color boats. And then turns back to the boys. . .)
Jen: Look what you three caused! Why do we always have to baby sit you?!
(Kat, Emily, and Jen smack the boys upside their heads.)
Jason, Tommy, and Wes: Sorry.
Jen: EXPLAIN IT AGAIN!
Alpha 5: But.
Jen: NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Alpha 5: You are a very intimidating lady. ::sigh:: This road block is entitled "row, row, row, your boat.
Jason: Gently down the (Emily smacks him in the head) OW! What was that for?!
Alpha 5: As I was saying. One person from each team must go to the different colored boats and pick one. They must row their boats to the rainbow route marker in the middle of the lake. There you will find your next clue.
Jen: I'm going
Tommy: I wanna go! I wanna go!
Emily: I guess I'll go.
(The three of them run over to the boats. Jen hopes in pink and Emily goes in orange.)
Tommy: Well red's already taken. So I'll guess I'll take green, no maybe white, no green. . .
********************************
(Ransik, Nadira, Jungle Fever, and the others finally get to the detour.)
Nadira: Daddy, there is no way I am climbing down some rock with this little rope, I refuse to get dirty.
Ransik: But princess, its faster. . .
Nadira: No buts, we are walking. I don't care about speed, I care about my outfit!
Ransik: Oh, alright.
(Ransik and Nadira walk down the marked course along with Merrick and Eric who decided they can't sing their jogging song if they aren't jogging. Trumpets blare as they go on their merry way singing. Back at the top of the cliff. . .)
Cole: What is this vine made out of?
Tanya: You dumb cracker.
Aisha: It's a rope fool!
Maya: Well I guess we have to swing down.
(Cole beats his fists on his chest like he is Tarzan, grabs the rope and Maya, and takes a flying leap down the cliff.)
Cole: AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Maya: WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
**************************
(Back at the airport?)
Leo: That was fun. Can we do that again?
Mike: I don't care what you do. I'm leaving. You can find your own way back.
Leo: WINDOW SEAT!
Mike: (looking up to the sky) Out of everyone I could have chosen, I picked him. Mister Tiny Bladder, who has to sit by the window, and can't even figure out a simple clue. Why me?!
*********************************
(At the cliff, Jungle Fever, Tanya, and Aisha have reached the bottom. They see the papers all over the ground and they take a chance hoping for them to be a clue. Meanwhile Rita, Zedd, Bulk, and Skull begin to repel as our joggers approach the clue.)
Maya: Road Block
(Back to our rock climbers. . .)
Rita: Faster Zeddy, faster. You're letting the fat one pass you!
Zedd: Be happy I'm carrying you down. (Then he starts to mumble under his breath.) She's not the one holding on for dear life to a tiny rope with a middle-aged woman on her back. . .
Skull: That's it Bulky we're almost at the bottom!
Bulk: (singing) Cause Skully there ain't no mountain high enough. . .
Rita: Shut up tubby, you're giving me a headache!
(They finally make it to the bottom and get their clue. At the lake, Cole, Ransik, Tanya, and Merrick are getting into boats as Billy, Andros, Emily, and Tommy are coming back to shore.)
Tommy: (singing) Sailing, sailing, over the. . .(pauses and looks around). . .tiny lake. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala. . .
Kat: For the love of. . .
Emily: (getting out of her boat) Don't complain. You're not the one who had to listen to that the entire boat ride there and back.
Cole: Oh no! The red boat was already used! Red boat. . .red lion. Well then I'll just use Maya's color.
Tanya: Sorry Tarzan this boat's taken.
Cole: No red boat, no yellow boat! Maya! Help!
(The two of them stare at the boats for a minute trying to decide what to do since their colors where already taken, not realizing that it doesn't matter which color you choose.)
Cole: I know! I'll swim it.
Alpha 5: Um, you can't. . .
(Cole looks at him funny, dives into the water, and takes off.)
Alpha 5: Oh fine then. Ay yi yi.
Rita: Stroke Zeddy, stroke! Put some muscle into it.
Zedd: Easy for her to say, she's not the one doing anything.
Rita: And don't' get splashed, you'll rust.
Zedd: (shudders)
******************************
(Back on the shore the teams are reading their final clue)
Kat: This leg's almost over
So don't delay
Go as fast as Lightspeed
To the pit stop at _________
Wes: Mariner Bay! That's where the Lightspeed rangers are!
(Jen, Emily, and Kat stare at him in amazement, jaws hanging wide open.)
Kat: How did he. . .
Emily: Figure that. . .
Jen: Out so quickly.
Wes: What?!
Jen: Oh never mind, come on let's move!
(One by one each team run to the bicycles built for two waiting for them as they race to the final pit stop for this leg of the race.)
Tommy and Jason: (singing to the tune of Daisy) Kat and Emily
Give us your answer due
We're half crazy
All for the love of you
Trini: Half crazy?! Yeah right more like totally. Plus that doesn't even rhyme.
Billy: Affirmative those two are definitely totally off their rockers.
Kat: Hey! We think it's sweet.
Emily: Yeah four eyes! Leave them alone!
Tommy and Jason: AS WE WERE SINGING BEFORE WE WERE SO RUDELY INTERUPTED. . . It won't be a stylish marriage
We can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet
Upon a seat
Of a bicycle built for two.
(They look over at the girls and give them a cheesy grin as they continue to sing the whole way to Mariner Bay.)
************************
(Camera cuts to the riders further back and we see Jungle Fever running because once again they didn't know how to get their "animal" to go. . .)
Cole: We really gotta start meeting some nicer animals.
Maya: I know, they all seem to like everyone else better.
Cole: Red lion wouldn't act like this.
Maya: Either would my Galactibeast.
Rita: Dig Zeddy, dig!
Zedd: Why is it that I'm the only one peddling a two-person bike?
Rita: You can't expect me to do it, I'm wearing pumps.
*************************
(At the pit stop Alpha 5 is waiting for the teams to arrive along with the Lightspeed Rangers. Suddenly, his cell phone rings. . .)
Alpha 5: Hello?
Mike: I lost Leo on a plane.
Alpha 5: What were you two doing on a plane?!
Mike: Don't ask, just listen. I'm guessing we lost. If you happen to find Leo, tell him if he comes home he'll be sorry. I've got a wedgie waiting with his name on it. Bye.
Alpha 5: Bye? Any of you wanna be the new host? (Looks up at the Lightspeed Rangers) Better yet, you guys have guns right?
Carter: Yeah, why?
Alpha 5: Kill me now. . .please?
*****************
(Just outside of the Aquabase all the remaining teams are arriving. . .)
Rito: Gimme an E!
Goldar: E!
Rito: Gimme a D!
Goldar: D!
Rito: What? That spell?
Rito and Goldar: ED!!!
Zedd: ZEDD! LORD ZEDD!
Rito: GO ED! GO ED! ED ED ED ED!!
Zedd: Forget it, forget it. I'm going inside.
Goldar: WHOOOOO! GO get em Tinsel Teeth!!
Zedd: (shudders) Oh god. I need an aspirin.
(Rita and Zedd run inside followed by Jen, Wes, Andros, and Karone.)
*******************
(Still outside by the bikes Tommy, Jason, Emily, and Kat are beating the crap out of Trini and Billy.)
Tommy: And that's for interrupting our song! (Punches Billy in the stomach)
Jason: And that's for making fun of us. . .I think. (Punches Billy in the face, breaking his glasses.)
Tommy: Ha! Now four eyes is only two eyes! How ya like that two eyes?!
(Kat slap Trini and Emily pushes her to the ground)
Kat: And that's for making fun of our fiancés
(Billy and Trini lay there in pain as the final teams approach.)
Tommy: Come on girls let's go inside.
(They pick up the girls and carry them in stepping on Billy and Trini along the way.)
Jason: And that's for using big words that no one understands to make us feel more dumb.
Billy: (struggling for breath) Dumber, not more dumb, dumber.
(Jason kicks him in the head causing Billy to black out.)
Jason: Shut up!! Ha!! Who's smarter now?! (Raises his hands in triumph)
****************
(Inside the Aquabase Rita and Zedd is the first team to step on the mat.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Zedd: Whatever.
Alpha 5: Rita and Zedd, you're team number one!
Rito: WHOO HOO! Way to go Ed! You won! Where's the money?!
Goldar: Maybe it's inside the trashcan.
(Goldar goes over to Alpha and tries to pry his head off.)
Goldar: Rito, I need a can opener!
Alpha 5: Ay yi yi! Get the hell away from me. First of all it's only the first leg of the race. Secondly, I AM NOT A TRASH CAN FULL OF MONEY!!! BODYGUARD! I NEED A BODYGUARD!
Rito: GOOOOOOOOOO ED!
Zedd: I feel your pain Alpha. I know what it's like to have morons following you around all the time.
(The next team to step on the mat is Jen and Wes, followed by Andros and Karone.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Alpha 5: Jen and Wes, you're team number two.
Jen: That's it?! That's crap! Wes look what you caused!
Wes: Sorry.
Alpha 5: Karone and Andros, you're team number three.
Karone: Alright!
Andros: Nice.
(As they step off the mat, Tommy and Jason come in carrying the girls.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Alpha 5: Tommy and Jason, Kat and Emily, you're teams number four.
Jason: Bro!!!
Tommy: Bro!!
(They put the girls down and body slam each other)
Kat: Well I guess we shouldn't complain.
Emily: Yeah they did carry us in.
(All of a sudden trumpets blare as Team "IC" comes jogging in next still singing their song.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Dana: Where did the. . .
Alpha 5: Music come from? Don't ask. Eric and Merrick you're team number six.
Eric: Six because we were the best 6th rangers
Merrick: Of all time!
(Down the hall you can hear Nadira whining as they approach the mat. . .)
Nadira: Is this almost over daddy? I'm tired and all sweaty.
Ransik: Here we are princess. All done for today.
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Alpha 5: Ransik and Nadira, you're team number seven.
Nadira: I don't care what number I am, as long as I get to sit down.
(They walk off the mat just as Jungle Fever comes running in. . .)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Alpha 5: Cole and Maya you're team number eight.
(As they're walking off the mat, they turn to Alpha)
Cole: You need to give us nicer animals.
Maya: Yeah ours never want to go anywhere.
Alpha 5: I don't even think I want to know.
(Bulk, Skull, Tanya, and Aisha all come racing in at the same time. Aisha trips Bulk as he was just about the get the lead, but sadly it backfired on her cause when he fell he took Tanya and Aisha down with him.)
Tanya: Would you get off me!
Bulk: Will do maim'
(Bulk gets up and runs to the mat where Skull is already waiting.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Bulk: Why thank you.
Alpha 5: Bulk and Skull, you're team number nine.
(Tanya and Aisha push them off the mat and step on.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Aisha: Yeah we got that part already.
Alpha 5: Tanya and Aisha, you're team number ten.
(Five minutes later Trini comes towards the mat, dragging a still unconscious Billy behind her.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Alpha 5: Billy and Trini you're team number eleven.
Kelsey: What in the world happened to you two?
Trini: We insulted tweedle dee, tweedle dum, and their fiancés.
Joel: God lord they sure did a number on him!
Trini: Never correct a dumb, angry man's grammar.
Alpha 5: Ay yi yi. Anyone, anyone want my job? Please?
End show
Alpha 5: Hello and welcome to Power Rangers Amazing Race. This leg of the race will be from Angel Grove to Mariner Bay. When we last left our teams they were attempting to start the race. How they left is beyond me seeing how just about all of them didn't even know what the word leave meant. Teams ran to their bags, where their first clue was waiting. Billy and Trini got to the clue first.
Billy: Ten seconds into the race and we already have the lead.
Trini: What morons. I can't believe they seriously didn't know what the word leave meant.
(They rip open their clue as the other teams make their way to the route marker.)
Trini: Hop in the car
Don't go to far
To help you think
Go get a drink
The next clue
Is waiting for you
At the __________
Billy: Juice Bar! Ernie's Juice Bar!
Trini: Great let's go!
(They hop on one of the parked cars waiting for them, with Emily and Kat, hot on their heels and other teams not far behind.)
Cole: Maya do you know how to work this thing? I can't get it to go. What kind of animal is it?
Maya: It must be some kind of animal only found in Angel Grove because I've never seen it before.
(They stand their staring at the car for a little while longer until they shrug and decide to walk.)
**********************************************************
(Back at the route marker Leo and Mike are still trying to figure out the clue.)
Mike: Is waiting for you
At the _________
Leo: Star!
Mike: Huh?
Leo: It's saying we have to go on a plane, up in the air as high as the stars.
Mike: Okay but where are we flying? And what about the drink part?
Leo: We'll figure out the flying part later. And we can get a drink on the plane. . .duh!
Mike: Oh okay! Let's go!
(They jump in the last car and take off in the wrong direction towards the airport. Back on the road an all out battle has commenced as everyone wants to be the first team to get a clue.)
***************************
Jen: LET'S GO! MOVE IT GRAMPA! WHO THE HELL TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DRIVE?!
(She swerves into the other lane and cuts off Ransik and Nadira causing them to slam on their breaks, starting a domino affect of car crashes.)
Jen: (looking back at the other cars) Suckers.
(At the Juice Bar Billy and Trini arrive first followed by Emily and Kat, Jason and Tommy, Andros and Karone, and Jen and Wes. )
Ernie: Hey kids! Good to see yas.
Jason and Tommy: BRO!!!!
Ernie: Oh no not them two again!
Tommy: Hey Kat, Emily wanna watch me and Jason do karate? It'll be just like old times!
Kat: Tommy, the race. Remember?
Tommy: The what?
Jason: Em, check me out!!! Hi ya!
Emily: Jason. . .the race!
Jason: Aww man. . .I wanna karate!
Jen: All right, let's cut the small talk. At the rate we're going this will take all day. Do you have a clue for us or not?
Ernie: Oh yeah oh course but you can't get it until you drink one of my famous juices.
Jason and Tommy: Juice!! Yeah!
(Ernie gives them the juice as the other teams start to arrive)
Trini: Hurry up Billy chug! The other teams are here!!
(Tommy and Jason finish their juice first and Ernie hand them their clue.)
Tommy: Deee. . .tourrrr. Bro, what's a detour?
Jason: I have no idea bro.
Tommy: We better wait for the girls.
(The boys go over to Kat and Emily and look at them.)
Kat: What now?
Tommy: Help?
Kat: Oh Jesus. You two are hopeless.
Jason: Em, what's a detour?
Emily: (shakes her head) And I wanted to be your partner. . .(opens the clue). . .detour.
Alpha 5: A detour is a choice between two tasks, both with pros and cons. This detour is entitled "ropes or slopes". Teams must make their way to Stone Canyon Cliff where they must choose a way to get to the bottom of the cliff where their next clue is waiting. If a team chooses "ropes" they must rappel 300 feet down the cliff. Only two teams can rappel at a time. The task is scary but fast. If a team chooses "slopes" then they must followed a rainbow-marked course to the bottom of the cliff. This choice is safer but will take more time.
Kat: Okay let's go
**********************
(At the airport Leo and Mike are trying to figure out which flight to take, unaware that they solved the clue incorrectly.)
Mike: So where should we fly to?
Leo: I don't care as long as I get a window seat.
****************************
(Back at the Juice Bar Eric and Merrick arrive quite pissed and the trumpets blare once again.)
Eric: Where is Jen at?
Merrick: She was a rat.
Eric: She caused a crash.
Merrick: And we got smashed.
Eric: We ripped our outfits.
Merrick: And we don't have our sewing kits.
Eric: So give us the clue.
Merrick: So we won't be blue.
Rita: Would you two stop rhyming? You're giving me a headache!
Eric: What are you talking about? We don't rhyme, you're nuts.
Merrick: Now let's drink some juice and go kick Jen's butt!
(They quickly drink their juice and jog off singing their song.)
Nadira: Those two worry me Daddy.
Ransik: They worry me too princess, they worry me too.
*************************
(Back at the airport we see Mike and Leo about to board the plane, but no one is quite sure on why.)
Leo: I get a window seat! I get a window seat!
Mike: Fine, but if you gotta go to the bathroom you're out of luck.
(Leo hangs his head in sadness because he knows he has a small bladder.)
Leo: I knew I should have gone before we left, damn!
**********************************
At Stone Canyon Cliff. . .
Emily: What do you think, should we repel or walk?
Kat: Dunno. Repelling would be faster that's for sure.
Emily: Yeah but do you have any idea how?
Kat: No. But I bet the boys do. . .TOMMY!!
Tommy: I'll save you!
Kat: No, I'm fine I just need a small favor. . .
********************************* Back on the plane. . .
Leo: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Mike: Would you stop it, you're embarrassing me. Now about those drinks. . .
Leo: Dude, that reminds me. . .I gotta go.
Mike: That sucks. I told you not to take the window seat, I'm not moving.
(Leo starts to squirm in his seat as a stewardess come over to offer them a drink.)
Stewardess: Can I get you anything to drink?
Mike: Yeah, we'll both have some juice and then you can give us our clue.
Stewardess: Your what?
Mike: Dammit! I should have never listened to you!
Leo: Mike, I really gotta go!!!
*************************************
(Back at the cliff, Tommy and Jason are repelling down, with Emily and Kat on their backs.)
Emily: This is why we're going to marry them. I knew they were good for something.
Kat: Yeah we gotta keep them around for a while so they can do all the hard stuff for us.
Jason: What's that girls?
Kat and Emily: Nothing!
(They get to the bottom of the cliff where Justin is standing with their next clue)
Justin: Hey guys!! I'm your next clue, isn't that cool?!
Tommy: Oh no, not him again.
Kat: (talking very slowly as if he was four) Justin this is a big person's game. So why don't you just go back home and leave the racing to the grownups.
Justin: But, Alpha said I could be a clue giver.
Kat: That's nice dear, but how about we do this. . .you give the clues to me and I'll get someone older to give them out okay?
Justin: No! It's my job, Alpha said!!
(As Justin continues to throw a temper tantrum Jen, Wes, Andros, and Karone, come down the cliff with Billy and Trini hot on their tails.)
Karone: Who's the kid, and why does he have our clue?
Justin: Shut up! I was a ranger too you know!
Andros: And what ranger where you then?
Justin: The Blue Turbo.
Andros: Turbo huh. . .and who was leader then? TJ! That stupid moron can't do anything right! Being a ranger under his command is nothing to be proud of kid.
Jen: So why don't you just hop on your big wheels, go home, and watch some barney. Oh and by the way, there is no such thing as Santa Claus!
(Justin throws the clues up in the air and runs away crying.)
Justin: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Wes picks up one of the clues. . .
Wes: What's this? It's very pretty paper!
Billy: Good god, who let him touch that?
(Jen rips it out of his hands and opens it.)
Jen: ROAD BLOCK!
Alpha 5: A roadblock is a task where only one team member can perform. (Looks at Jason and Tommy) That means between the two of you only ONE can go, the other has to sit and wait. Do you two understand that?
Tommy and Jason: Eh?
Alpha 5: This roadblock is entitled, "Row, Row, Row, Your Boat"
Jason: Gently down the stream!
Tommy: Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Wes: (In an opera tone of singing.) Life is but a dreaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!
Alpha 5: Once again I would ask why but I learned my lesson after the first time.
(The three boys are now dancing in a circle, holding hands. . .like in ring around the rosy. . .The girls grab them by the ears and tell them to sit and listen to Alpha.)
Jen: Go-ahead Alpha read the clue.
Alpha 5: But I just explained the whole thing.
(Jen turns to see Andros and Billy making their way towards the different color boats. And then turns back to the boys. . .)
Jen: Look what you three caused! Why do we always have to baby sit you?!
(Kat, Emily, and Jen smack the boys upside their heads.)
Jason, Tommy, and Wes: Sorry.
Jen: EXPLAIN IT AGAIN!
Alpha 5: But.
Jen: NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Alpha 5: You are a very intimidating lady. ::sigh:: This road block is entitled "row, row, row, your boat.
Jason: Gently down the (Emily smacks him in the head) OW! What was that for?!
Alpha 5: As I was saying. One person from each team must go to the different colored boats and pick one. They must row their boats to the rainbow route marker in the middle of the lake. There you will find your next clue.
Jen: I'm going
Tommy: I wanna go! I wanna go!
Emily: I guess I'll go.
(The three of them run over to the boats. Jen hopes in pink and Emily goes in orange.)
Tommy: Well red's already taken. So I'll guess I'll take green, no maybe white, no green. . .
********************************
(Ransik, Nadira, Jungle Fever, and the others finally get to the detour.)
Nadira: Daddy, there is no way I am climbing down some rock with this little rope, I refuse to get dirty.
Ransik: But princess, its faster. . .
Nadira: No buts, we are walking. I don't care about speed, I care about my outfit!
Ransik: Oh, alright.
(Ransik and Nadira walk down the marked course along with Merrick and Eric who decided they can't sing their jogging song if they aren't jogging. Trumpets blare as they go on their merry way singing. Back at the top of the cliff. . .)
Cole: What is this vine made out of?
Tanya: You dumb cracker.
Aisha: It's a rope fool!
Maya: Well I guess we have to swing down.
(Cole beats his fists on his chest like he is Tarzan, grabs the rope and Maya, and takes a flying leap down the cliff.)
Cole: AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Maya: WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
**************************
(Back at the airport?)
Leo: That was fun. Can we do that again?
Mike: I don't care what you do. I'm leaving. You can find your own way back.
Leo: WINDOW SEAT!
Mike: (looking up to the sky) Out of everyone I could have chosen, I picked him. Mister Tiny Bladder, who has to sit by the window, and can't even figure out a simple clue. Why me?!
*********************************
(At the cliff, Jungle Fever, Tanya, and Aisha have reached the bottom. They see the papers all over the ground and they take a chance hoping for them to be a clue. Meanwhile Rita, Zedd, Bulk, and Skull begin to repel as our joggers approach the clue.)
Maya: Road Block
(Back to our rock climbers. . .)
Rita: Faster Zeddy, faster. You're letting the fat one pass you!
Zedd: Be happy I'm carrying you down. (Then he starts to mumble under his breath.) She's not the one holding on for dear life to a tiny rope with a middle-aged woman on her back. . .
Skull: That's it Bulky we're almost at the bottom!
Bulk: (singing) Cause Skully there ain't no mountain high enough. . .
Rita: Shut up tubby, you're giving me a headache!
(They finally make it to the bottom and get their clue. At the lake, Cole, Ransik, Tanya, and Merrick are getting into boats as Billy, Andros, Emily, and Tommy are coming back to shore.)
Tommy: (singing) Sailing, sailing, over the. . .(pauses and looks around). . .tiny lake. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala. . .
Kat: For the love of. . .
Emily: (getting out of her boat) Don't complain. You're not the one who had to listen to that the entire boat ride there and back.
Cole: Oh no! The red boat was already used! Red boat. . .red lion. Well then I'll just use Maya's color.
Tanya: Sorry Tarzan this boat's taken.
Cole: No red boat, no yellow boat! Maya! Help!
(The two of them stare at the boats for a minute trying to decide what to do since their colors where already taken, not realizing that it doesn't matter which color you choose.)
Cole: I know! I'll swim it.
Alpha 5: Um, you can't. . .
(Cole looks at him funny, dives into the water, and takes off.)
Alpha 5: Oh fine then. Ay yi yi.
Rita: Stroke Zeddy, stroke! Put some muscle into it.
Zedd: Easy for her to say, she's not the one doing anything.
Rita: And don't' get splashed, you'll rust.
Zedd: (shudders)
******************************
(Back on the shore the teams are reading their final clue)
Kat: This leg's almost over
So don't delay
Go as fast as Lightspeed
To the pit stop at _________
Wes: Mariner Bay! That's where the Lightspeed rangers are!
(Jen, Emily, and Kat stare at him in amazement, jaws hanging wide open.)
Kat: How did he. . .
Emily: Figure that. . .
Jen: Out so quickly.
Wes: What?!
Jen: Oh never mind, come on let's move!
(One by one each team run to the bicycles built for two waiting for them as they race to the final pit stop for this leg of the race.)
Tommy and Jason: (singing to the tune of Daisy) Kat and Emily
Give us your answer due
We're half crazy
All for the love of you
Trini: Half crazy?! Yeah right more like totally. Plus that doesn't even rhyme.
Billy: Affirmative those two are definitely totally off their rockers.
Kat: Hey! We think it's sweet.
Emily: Yeah four eyes! Leave them alone!
Tommy and Jason: AS WE WERE SINGING BEFORE WE WERE SO RUDELY INTERUPTED. . . It won't be a stylish marriage
We can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet
Upon a seat
Of a bicycle built for two.
(They look over at the girls and give them a cheesy grin as they continue to sing the whole way to Mariner Bay.)
************************
(Camera cuts to the riders further back and we see Jungle Fever running because once again they didn't know how to get their "animal" to go. . .)
Cole: We really gotta start meeting some nicer animals.
Maya: I know, they all seem to like everyone else better.
Cole: Red lion wouldn't act like this.
Maya: Either would my Galactibeast.
Rita: Dig Zeddy, dig!
Zedd: Why is it that I'm the only one peddling a two-person bike?
Rita: You can't expect me to do it, I'm wearing pumps.
*************************
(At the pit stop Alpha 5 is waiting for the teams to arrive along with the Lightspeed Rangers. Suddenly, his cell phone rings. . .)
Alpha 5: Hello?
Mike: I lost Leo on a plane.
Alpha 5: What were you two doing on a plane?!
Mike: Don't ask, just listen. I'm guessing we lost. If you happen to find Leo, tell him if he comes home he'll be sorry. I've got a wedgie waiting with his name on it. Bye.
Alpha 5: Bye? Any of you wanna be the new host? (Looks up at the Lightspeed Rangers) Better yet, you guys have guns right?
Carter: Yeah, why?
Alpha 5: Kill me now. . .please?
*****************
(Just outside of the Aquabase all the remaining teams are arriving. . .)
Rito: Gimme an E!
Goldar: E!
Rito: Gimme a D!
Goldar: D!
Rito: What? That spell?
Rito and Goldar: ED!!!
Zedd: ZEDD! LORD ZEDD!
Rito: GO ED! GO ED! ED ED ED ED!!
Zedd: Forget it, forget it. I'm going inside.
Goldar: WHOOOOO! GO get em Tinsel Teeth!!
Zedd: (shudders) Oh god. I need an aspirin.
(Rita and Zedd run inside followed by Jen, Wes, Andros, and Karone.)
*******************
(Still outside by the bikes Tommy, Jason, Emily, and Kat are beating the crap out of Trini and Billy.)
Tommy: And that's for interrupting our song! (Punches Billy in the stomach)
Jason: And that's for making fun of us. . .I think. (Punches Billy in the face, breaking his glasses.)
Tommy: Ha! Now four eyes is only two eyes! How ya like that two eyes?!
(Kat slap Trini and Emily pushes her to the ground)
Kat: And that's for making fun of our fiancés
(Billy and Trini lay there in pain as the final teams approach.)
Tommy: Come on girls let's go inside.
(They pick up the girls and carry them in stepping on Billy and Trini along the way.)
Jason: And that's for using big words that no one understands to make us feel more dumb.
Billy: (struggling for breath) Dumber, not more dumb, dumber.
(Jason kicks him in the head causing Billy to black out.)
Jason: Shut up!! Ha!! Who's smarter now?! (Raises his hands in triumph)
****************
(Inside the Aquabase Rita and Zedd is the first team to step on the mat.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Zedd: Whatever.
Alpha 5: Rita and Zedd, you're team number one!
Rito: WHOO HOO! Way to go Ed! You won! Where's the money?!
Goldar: Maybe it's inside the trashcan.
(Goldar goes over to Alpha and tries to pry his head off.)
Goldar: Rito, I need a can opener!
Alpha 5: Ay yi yi! Get the hell away from me. First of all it's only the first leg of the race. Secondly, I AM NOT A TRASH CAN FULL OF MONEY!!! BODYGUARD! I NEED A BODYGUARD!
Rito: GOOOOOOOOOO ED!
Zedd: I feel your pain Alpha. I know what it's like to have morons following you around all the time.
(The next team to step on the mat is Jen and Wes, followed by Andros and Karone.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Alpha 5: Jen and Wes, you're team number two.
Jen: That's it?! That's crap! Wes look what you caused!
Wes: Sorry.
Alpha 5: Karone and Andros, you're team number three.
Karone: Alright!
Andros: Nice.
(As they step off the mat, Tommy and Jason come in carrying the girls.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Alpha 5: Tommy and Jason, Kat and Emily, you're teams number four.
Jason: Bro!!!
Tommy: Bro!!
(They put the girls down and body slam each other)
Kat: Well I guess we shouldn't complain.
Emily: Yeah they did carry us in.
(All of a sudden trumpets blare as Team "IC" comes jogging in next still singing their song.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Dana: Where did the. . .
Alpha 5: Music come from? Don't ask. Eric and Merrick you're team number six.
Eric: Six because we were the best 6th rangers
Merrick: Of all time!
(Down the hall you can hear Nadira whining as they approach the mat. . .)
Nadira: Is this almost over daddy? I'm tired and all sweaty.
Ransik: Here we are princess. All done for today.
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Alpha 5: Ransik and Nadira, you're team number seven.
Nadira: I don't care what number I am, as long as I get to sit down.
(They walk off the mat just as Jungle Fever comes running in. . .)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Alpha 5: Cole and Maya you're team number eight.
(As they're walking off the mat, they turn to Alpha)
Cole: You need to give us nicer animals.
Maya: Yeah ours never want to go anywhere.
Alpha 5: I don't even think I want to know.
(Bulk, Skull, Tanya, and Aisha all come racing in at the same time. Aisha trips Bulk as he was just about the get the lead, but sadly it backfired on her cause when he fell he took Tanya and Aisha down with him.)
Tanya: Would you get off me!
Bulk: Will do maim'
(Bulk gets up and runs to the mat where Skull is already waiting.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Bulk: Why thank you.
Alpha 5: Bulk and Skull, you're team number nine.
(Tanya and Aisha push them off the mat and step on.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Aisha: Yeah we got that part already.
Alpha 5: Tanya and Aisha, you're team number ten.
(Five minutes later Trini comes towards the mat, dragging a still unconscious Billy behind her.)
Lightspeed Rangers: Welcome to Mariner Bay!
Alpha 5: Billy and Trini you're team number eleven.
Kelsey: What in the world happened to you two?
Trini: We insulted tweedle dee, tweedle dum, and their fiancés.
Joel: God lord they sure did a number on him!
Trini: Never correct a dumb, angry man's grammar.
Alpha 5: Ay yi yi. Anyone, anyone want my job? Please?
End show