In Other Words..br
03 : One Final, "Do You Love Me?"
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"Do you need me, Shinji?"
"..yes."
"What about.. Rei?" I asked as I struggled to maintain a stable tone.
"I.. can't talk to her. She reminds of my mother sometimes, but that's only because.."
He looked at my nervously as if he was about to indulge some forbidden information, and did not complete his statement though it was enough to extinguish my doubts concerning whether or not he loved her.
"So.. who would you choose?" I casually inquired, in the most nonchalant tone I could achieve being sensitive to the question's nature.
"Pardon?"
I couldn't help but smile; truly, he was clueless.
"Rei or.. me?"
He turned away as he internally contemplated his response, sitting so still as there was not even a breeze to give some life to his fine chestnut hair.
"I've.. already chosen, don't you think?"
"..I.. don't know."
"Do you care for me, Asuka?"
"Yes," I replied, my voice steady and confident. This, throughout the chaos that had ensued in the past twenty-four hours or so, had endured. Had remained constant.
"Before, I was so afraid you might never wake up. Even if I would never get to see you without your mask, even if you never cared about me the way I did you.. those alternatives seemed heavenly compared to me never getting to hear you call me stupid again," he said softly, recounting the thoughts that had plagued him in the past few months as I coloured.
"You don't know what it's like to have nobody to turn to," he murmured ignorantly. "Or worse, to ask someone's help and know they aren't listening."
"Shinji.. I was always listening," I assured gently though in the back of my mind my insecurities caused me to think that he may have been referring to someone else. "And I do know how that feels. To need help but to not know how to ask, and then to know that if you asked your pleas would be ignored anyway."
"I need you.. Asuka. Chan"
"..need?" Find value in? Ascertain worth in? Have formed a dependence on?
"In other words.. I love you."
"Love?" I stated with disbelief aloud, startled to finally hear him say the words without use of crypticism or detachment.
Suddenly I felt his arms slip around my waist from behind as his fast, quick, and somewhat heavy breaths tickled my neck, his voice trembling profoundly.
"I love you, Asuka.. forgive me, though. This is only my third."
He leaned over my shoulder and licked his lips slightly before he pulled me into a deep and passionate kiss, his tight hold around my waist not allowing me to pull away though moments later I unreluctantly gave up my struggle and melted into his warm embrace, feeling his tongue slide against my lower lip and then somewhat innocently entwine with my own in a way that would have made Misato jealous.
I leaned back against his body, relaxing myself against his warmth and the softness of his shirt, a wave of contentedness overwhelming me as I slid my arms over his, my fingers intertwining with his as they rested over my stomach.
"I love you.."
His forehead rested against mine as he panted gently against my lips, his eyes closed, his gracefully long eyelashes brushing against mine as they opened.
"I want to be happy.. please.."
One final..
"Do you love me?"
"Yes."
- - - - - - - - - -
Foreign Terms
-chan; chan, affectionate suffix for names used for young children or couples, Japanese.
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"Do you need me, Shinji?"
"..yes."
"What about.. Rei?" I asked as I struggled to maintain a stable tone.
"I.. can't talk to her. She reminds of my mother sometimes, but that's only because.."
He looked at my nervously as if he was about to indulge some forbidden information, and did not complete his statement though it was enough to extinguish my doubts concerning whether or not he loved her.
"So.. who would you choose?" I casually inquired, in the most nonchalant tone I could achieve being sensitive to the question's nature.
"Pardon?"
I couldn't help but smile; truly, he was clueless.
"Rei or.. me?"
He turned away as he internally contemplated his response, sitting so still as there was not even a breeze to give some life to his fine chestnut hair.
"I've.. already chosen, don't you think?"
"..I.. don't know."
"Do you care for me, Asuka?"
"Yes," I replied, my voice steady and confident. This, throughout the chaos that had ensued in the past twenty-four hours or so, had endured. Had remained constant.
"Before, I was so afraid you might never wake up. Even if I would never get to see you without your mask, even if you never cared about me the way I did you.. those alternatives seemed heavenly compared to me never getting to hear you call me stupid again," he said softly, recounting the thoughts that had plagued him in the past few months as I coloured.
"You don't know what it's like to have nobody to turn to," he murmured ignorantly. "Or worse, to ask someone's help and know they aren't listening."
"Shinji.. I was always listening," I assured gently though in the back of my mind my insecurities caused me to think that he may have been referring to someone else. "And I do know how that feels. To need help but to not know how to ask, and then to know that if you asked your pleas would be ignored anyway."
"I need you.. Asuka. Chan"
"..need?" Find value in? Ascertain worth in? Have formed a dependence on?
"In other words.. I love you."
"Love?" I stated with disbelief aloud, startled to finally hear him say the words without use of crypticism or detachment.
Suddenly I felt his arms slip around my waist from behind as his fast, quick, and somewhat heavy breaths tickled my neck, his voice trembling profoundly.
"I love you, Asuka.. forgive me, though. This is only my third."
He leaned over my shoulder and licked his lips slightly before he pulled me into a deep and passionate kiss, his tight hold around my waist not allowing me to pull away though moments later I unreluctantly gave up my struggle and melted into his warm embrace, feeling his tongue slide against my lower lip and then somewhat innocently entwine with my own in a way that would have made Misato jealous.
I leaned back against his body, relaxing myself against his warmth and the softness of his shirt, a wave of contentedness overwhelming me as I slid my arms over his, my fingers intertwining with his as they rested over my stomach.
"I love you.."
His forehead rested against mine as he panted gently against my lips, his eyes closed, his gracefully long eyelashes brushing against mine as they opened.
"I want to be happy.. please.."
One final..
"Do you love me?"
"Yes."
- - - - - - - - - -
Foreign Terms
-chan; chan, affectionate suffix for names used for young children or couples, Japanese.
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