-Chapter Five-
It's not easy being Luka Kovac
I watch Luka quietly doing charts at the nurses' station. I know I am acting like a silly teenager but I can't help stealing glimpses of the handsome Croat when I think no one sees me. I do have the tiniest, ok-huge- , crush on him. A patient has just puked all over him so he isn't wearing his usual lab-coat, just a sporty turtleneck blue sweater and a pair of jeans. Damn he looks hot. And younger. Which in turn just make me feel old, ugly and extremely foolish to be thinking of him all the time. I quickly return my eyes to my chart when I hear the familiar and oh-so- nightmarish noise of Kerry's cane. Right then the radio cracks to life.
"County general this is dispatch. Do you copy?"
Abby grabs the radio. "Yes, go ahead dispatch."
"A forty-two cars pile-up just took place on the interstate. Sixty casualties at least. Prepare to send doctors on the field."
Abby gapes "Is this a bullet, dispatch?"
"No, this is not a bullet. We need you to send people right away. A chopper will come take them. ETA six minutes. Roger."
"Roger, dispatch."
"Jesus, forty-two cars means eighty injured if we suppose there were only two passenger per car. Carter, Luka, Susan you'll go on the scene. Chen and I will wait for the traumas here. Get a mass casualty protocol going on, Abby, stat."
As we go up to the roof the whole ER buzzes with hectic people preparing for the major affluence of critical patients. Kerry's voice urgently barking orders echoes into my ears. The chopper is already waiting for us. A couple of surgeons from Mercy greet us. As the chopper takes off I shiver uncontrollably. I am scared to death of flying. Carter sympathetically squeezes my arm. I smile weakly. Luka glances from me to Carter quizzically.
"I have this huge fear of flying." I explain trying not to let my teeth chatter too noticeably. "Always have. I take the train whenever I can."
I'm sure he thinks I am a nutso now. He smiles understandingly instead. "I'm not too comfortable on planes either. I guess that's because during the war they dropped bomb on us. It is something my psyche has irremediably connected with fear and destruction."
I take a huge sigh of relief when we land. Luka gallantly offers me a hand to hop off the chopper. This elderly female surgeon appreciates it "I thought chivalry had gone out with hoop skirts and bowler hats."
My relief soon disappears when we step through the contorted steel sheets and the smoke of the accident. We can hear people screaming everywhere. It's the closest thing to hell I can imagine. Luka seems a lot more comfortable in this hellish scenario than me and Carter. He was in a war I remember. Carter is holding it pretty well too, and I regret not having been sent on the field more often. I could have been more prepared for this. Or maybe nothing could have prepared me for this. As Mark used to say, there are only two kind of doctors: those who keep their feeling and those who don't. I unfortunately belong to the first category. So I resign to bear the wave of nausea that sweeps over me as the awful smell of burning human flesh enters my nose as we pass a car in fire.
I walk to this small boy a firefighter has just took out from a car. He's bleeding from his head. He feels around for his glasses that are nearby , cracked and bloody.
"Where are my glasses? Where are my glasses?" he repeats over and over, in panic.
"What's your name?"
"Leopold. Have you seen my glasses?"
"Calm down Leopold. You'll buy a new pair. Wound is on the right temple."
With the help of a paramedic I sedate him and bandage his head. When I leave him he's clutching his broken glasses like this is the worst thing that happened to him. I pass to the next victim, a girl who has apparently been ejected from the car through the windshield and is lying in a big pool of glass. A cop he's desperately administering her CPR. I shake my head sadly, she can't be older than Susie. Her brain is scattered all over the concrete.
"We'll never get her back with a head wound like that. Stop compressions, officer."
I go help Luka, who's busy with a pregnant young woman.
" A piece of metal pierced right through her lower left quadrant." He informs me without taking his eyes off her. "Come on, Michelle, stay wake for me!"
"How far a long are you, Michelle?" I ask.
"I am not pregnant" she mumbles, clearly confused.
"She might have hit her head, Luka."
"The wound is four centimeters off the mid-line. She looks about eight months."
"We need a fetal monitor. She needs to get to a hospital, stat!"
I walk Luka and the patient to the chopper. Carter is already there with an elderly man who looks in bad condition.
"What have you got, Carter?"
"Glass fragments penetrated his abdomen pretty deep, kinda like bullets. No exit wounds. Diminished breath sounds on the right. BP 's 100 over 60 and falling. Pulse 88. I might need to fly him to County."
"No way." Luka replies authoritatively "She has priority."
"What's her problem?"
"Kind of a stab wound to the lower quadrant." I reply, looking worriedly the two doctors confronting like animals ready to fight.
"She doesn't look critical to me." Carter replies.
"She's pregnant. We can't check the baby until we get to a hospital."
"She is stable though. My patient's not."
"He's not pregnant!"
"First rule of triage: the most critical goes first."
"We're talking about a baby!"
"Susan, wha do you think?" Carter asks me.
"I-I, uhm." I stammer. Carter's right but Luka has a point too.
"Ok, I'll go." Carter loads his patient on the chopper.
"CARTER!" Luka yells furiously.
The chopper takes off without us. Luka rushes to a nearby ambulance and urges the paramedic to go. I watch the rig pull away screeching its tires loudly.
When I get to County both Trauma rooms are full. Luka and Kerry are working on Michelle while Carter and Chen are with the old guy from before.
I enter Trauma One first. "Luka, how is it going?"
"Not good. Nine inch abdominal bleed on mom."
"How about the baby?"
"32 weeks size. Good cardiac activity." Kerry informs me.
I grab the ultrasound and check the situation for myself " Hold on."
"What?"
"There. A blood clot."
"Abruption?" Luka asks alarmed, already knowing the answer.
"Could be. Twelve milligrams of betametasone now." Kerry orders.
"What's happening? Am I going to die?" Michelle asks scared to death.
"The stab wound has damaged the placenta causing it to bleed which would cut off oxygen to you baby."
"Oh God!"
"Right now it looks okay but we may need to bring you upstairs for a c- section." I try to reassure her.
"You mean cut me open?"
"32 weeks is early but we're giving you steroids now to help ensure the baby's lungs." Luka says, always concerned about the baby first.
"Oh my God! Don't let my baby die. Doctor!"
"Shit!" Kerry curses "Fetal heartbeat is down to 60."
"Prepare for an emergency c-section!"
I do as he tells me "Get someone from OB here! And a neonatolgist stat!"
"Coburn is doing an ultrasound in Exam Two!" Chuny says and disappears to get her.
Janet Coburn enters the room and asks briskly like usual "Give me the bullet, Kerry!"
Kerry complies. "32 weeks preemie, abruption of the placenta and possible hypoxia. Fetal heartbeat is 20. Given steroids to improve the lungs and twelve milligrams of betametasone."
"Lost the heartbeat!" I cry.
"Ok, let's get him out!" Coburn swiftly perform a c-section.
Luka takes out a small baby and looks for a heartbeat with his stethoscope. The silence in the room is eerie: the baby is not crying.
"Is my baby ok?" Michelle asks feebly.
I put a hand on Luka's shoulder. He looks really upset. "Want me to pronounce him?"
"No. I'll do it. Time of death, 10:37."
He storms out of the trauma room and I follow him, leaving Coburn and Kerry with the desperate Michelle. Luka quickly walks down the aisle and heads towards Carter, who's watching his patient being wheeled out to the OR by Elizabeth.
"He died!" Luka spits out angrily.
"Who?"
"The baby of the pregnant girl!"
"I'm sorry."
"You killed him!"
"I didn't. Triage is all about-"
"I don't give a fuck about triage! You killed an innocent baby, you son of a bitch!" Luka loses it and punches Carter forcefully on the jaw. Carter flies on the wall and then slides down to the ground, massaging his jaw.
Kerry, who has been attracted by the noise, rushes by Carter side. "You need to be checked out. I'll order a set of facial x-rays." Then she turns to Luka who's storming off outside. "LUKA! Come back here, now!"
Luka doesn't hear her or pretends he doesn't and storms out.
"I'll go get him." I volunteer.
"Get his sorry ass here or he's fired."
I rush in the ambulance bay and I notice it's raining. Luka is standing there in pouring rain, his head down and his fist clenched so tightly his knuckles are white. I get closer to him. His murmuring something in Croatian, it sounds like a prayer. I gently put my hand on his shoulder. "Luka, I am sorry. I think you were right and-"
"Your being sorry isn't much helpful to that little baby!" he shouts with so much anger that I withdraw my hand quickly, hurt, as if I have touched fire.
Luka turns around and sees my hurt face. I am almost crying although I know I shouldn't. A flash of guiltiness flickers in his eyes and he steps closer to me and squeezes my arm.
"Sorry Susan, I shouldn't have taken it out on you. It's just that I can't stand seeing children die, I-"
"I know. It's ok. We'd better get inside though. Weaver is on the warpath. Said she's gonna fire you."
"There's no need to. I quit."
"What?"
"I've had enough of this."
"But, Luka, you can't. You, I-I'd miss you so much!" my eyes are filling with tears again.
He smiles sadly and caresses my cheek. "I'll miss you too. You're one of the few good things in this damn hospital."
He turns around again and slowly walks away in the rain. I just stand there, unable to move as he disappear from my sight and the rain soaks me. When I finally gather the strength I walk back inside. Kerry looks expectantly over my shoulder. "Spare your breath, Kerry." I say bitterly. "He's gone, he quit."
"What?"
I don't bother to reply and I walk in the ladies room. I lock myself in a stall and cry all my tears. For Michelle's baby, for Luka and for myself, because too many times this job sucks and life is unfair.
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The following day Luka didn't show up for real. I tired to call him all day long yesterday and the day before that but at home I got only the machine and his cell phone was switched off. I didn't have the guts to actually go to his place. I am a bit worried. Unfortunately today is one of those day as in, after a quick survey, forty- three patients in chairs ant twenty-eight in the ER, plus a multiple trauma coming in. Not to mention that Chen is sick so it's only me and an understandably freaked-out Kerry. She barks at Carter on the phone to get here even if it's his day off. We're still short-handed, though.
Kerry picks up the phone again. "I'm calling a temp agency, we're still an attending down. And I'll make sure they don't send us an old dermatologist this time!"
The place is hectic. I run all over the ER like a crazy bee. We actually start treating minors in chairs without a chart. We're so swamped. Still no sign of the temp doc. My eyes grow big with excitement when I spot Luka, wearing a lab-coat. I can't help myself and I hug him. "Where the hell did you go?"
He smiles "I've being around, doing stuff. And before you ask me no, I'm not back. I'm just moonlighting and I am your temp today."
"Kerry will be glad, you're no dermatologist."
I try to work with him as much as I can. Not that we actually have time to talk, people just keep coming in. It's a nightmare. Carter is in a crappy mood because he was going to go on some kind of mini-break with Abby and instead he's stuck in the ER so I try to stay steer clear of him. Kerry comes along. "Luka, Susan. Take a look at this kid in Exam One. It's not that critical to require two physicians but I noticed that I can't separate you two today."
We walk down the hallway. Malik draws a curtain open. "Here's the water you asked me, Mr. Doyle. Mr. Doyle? Mr. Doyle?"
Luka checks the pulse of the unconscious man. "What did he present with?"
"Fractured clavicle. He's Weaver's patient. Absent breath sounds on the left." Malik explains.
"Do a tension numeral. Get a 14 gage needle on an open syringe. Come on let's go."
"BP's 50 palp. Nadine?"
"Yep. Quickly, quickly. Get him on a Pulse-ox. I got it. Okay check the pulse."
"Stronger."
"He's gonna need a chest tube."
"All he had was a broken collar bone."
"Not any more."
"Set at 95."
"Okay give me a ten-blade."
"You'll need me to decompress him?" I ask.
" I'm almost done. Thirty-two French."
"Suction's ready."
"BP's 100 over 50."
Kerry arrives, having heard the commotion, "What's going on?" she asks as Luka walks away to that patient we were supposed to visit together.
"Luka just saved your ass, Kerry. Looks like you missed an occult rib fracture."
"Jeez, I owe him a big one."
"He's a damn good doctor."
"I know. Shame to lose him in the ER."
"Then ask him to stay. You are the chief."
"If he apologizes to Carter I will."
"He won't, he's too stubborn. And he was right too."
"Carter did the right thing. He stuck to the rules."
"They were wrong."
"Sometimes they could be."
Kerry leaves me to ponder on this painful truth.
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The day is over soon, I sadly say goodbye to Luka and I notice is on foot.
"What happened to your Volkswagen?"
"I sold it as my apartment. I bought a new boat. She's a real beauty."
"Where do you live then?"
"In the boat. I might start sailing along the east coast again. I liked that life, no roots, not strings attached, only me and the sea. It's good fore a loner like me."
"Just let me know before you sail away in the sunset, ok?"
"Sure. Listen, why don't you come see my boat? Say tomorrow afternoon."
"Good. How am I supposed to find you? Follow the drain of my bathtub until I reach the lake?"
"Something along those lines. Just meet me at the harbor at four o' clock."
"I'll be there."
I watch Luka quietly doing charts at the nurses' station. I know I am acting like a silly teenager but I can't help stealing glimpses of the handsome Croat when I think no one sees me. I do have the tiniest, ok-huge- , crush on him. A patient has just puked all over him so he isn't wearing his usual lab-coat, just a sporty turtleneck blue sweater and a pair of jeans. Damn he looks hot. And younger. Which in turn just make me feel old, ugly and extremely foolish to be thinking of him all the time. I quickly return my eyes to my chart when I hear the familiar and oh-so- nightmarish noise of Kerry's cane. Right then the radio cracks to life.
"County general this is dispatch. Do you copy?"
Abby grabs the radio. "Yes, go ahead dispatch."
"A forty-two cars pile-up just took place on the interstate. Sixty casualties at least. Prepare to send doctors on the field."
Abby gapes "Is this a bullet, dispatch?"
"No, this is not a bullet. We need you to send people right away. A chopper will come take them. ETA six minutes. Roger."
"Roger, dispatch."
"Jesus, forty-two cars means eighty injured if we suppose there were only two passenger per car. Carter, Luka, Susan you'll go on the scene. Chen and I will wait for the traumas here. Get a mass casualty protocol going on, Abby, stat."
As we go up to the roof the whole ER buzzes with hectic people preparing for the major affluence of critical patients. Kerry's voice urgently barking orders echoes into my ears. The chopper is already waiting for us. A couple of surgeons from Mercy greet us. As the chopper takes off I shiver uncontrollably. I am scared to death of flying. Carter sympathetically squeezes my arm. I smile weakly. Luka glances from me to Carter quizzically.
"I have this huge fear of flying." I explain trying not to let my teeth chatter too noticeably. "Always have. I take the train whenever I can."
I'm sure he thinks I am a nutso now. He smiles understandingly instead. "I'm not too comfortable on planes either. I guess that's because during the war they dropped bomb on us. It is something my psyche has irremediably connected with fear and destruction."
I take a huge sigh of relief when we land. Luka gallantly offers me a hand to hop off the chopper. This elderly female surgeon appreciates it "I thought chivalry had gone out with hoop skirts and bowler hats."
My relief soon disappears when we step through the contorted steel sheets and the smoke of the accident. We can hear people screaming everywhere. It's the closest thing to hell I can imagine. Luka seems a lot more comfortable in this hellish scenario than me and Carter. He was in a war I remember. Carter is holding it pretty well too, and I regret not having been sent on the field more often. I could have been more prepared for this. Or maybe nothing could have prepared me for this. As Mark used to say, there are only two kind of doctors: those who keep their feeling and those who don't. I unfortunately belong to the first category. So I resign to bear the wave of nausea that sweeps over me as the awful smell of burning human flesh enters my nose as we pass a car in fire.
I walk to this small boy a firefighter has just took out from a car. He's bleeding from his head. He feels around for his glasses that are nearby , cracked and bloody.
"Where are my glasses? Where are my glasses?" he repeats over and over, in panic.
"What's your name?"
"Leopold. Have you seen my glasses?"
"Calm down Leopold. You'll buy a new pair. Wound is on the right temple."
With the help of a paramedic I sedate him and bandage his head. When I leave him he's clutching his broken glasses like this is the worst thing that happened to him. I pass to the next victim, a girl who has apparently been ejected from the car through the windshield and is lying in a big pool of glass. A cop he's desperately administering her CPR. I shake my head sadly, she can't be older than Susie. Her brain is scattered all over the concrete.
"We'll never get her back with a head wound like that. Stop compressions, officer."
I go help Luka, who's busy with a pregnant young woman.
" A piece of metal pierced right through her lower left quadrant." He informs me without taking his eyes off her. "Come on, Michelle, stay wake for me!"
"How far a long are you, Michelle?" I ask.
"I am not pregnant" she mumbles, clearly confused.
"She might have hit her head, Luka."
"The wound is four centimeters off the mid-line. She looks about eight months."
"We need a fetal monitor. She needs to get to a hospital, stat!"
I walk Luka and the patient to the chopper. Carter is already there with an elderly man who looks in bad condition.
"What have you got, Carter?"
"Glass fragments penetrated his abdomen pretty deep, kinda like bullets. No exit wounds. Diminished breath sounds on the right. BP 's 100 over 60 and falling. Pulse 88. I might need to fly him to County."
"No way." Luka replies authoritatively "She has priority."
"What's her problem?"
"Kind of a stab wound to the lower quadrant." I reply, looking worriedly the two doctors confronting like animals ready to fight.
"She doesn't look critical to me." Carter replies.
"She's pregnant. We can't check the baby until we get to a hospital."
"She is stable though. My patient's not."
"He's not pregnant!"
"First rule of triage: the most critical goes first."
"We're talking about a baby!"
"Susan, wha do you think?" Carter asks me.
"I-I, uhm." I stammer. Carter's right but Luka has a point too.
"Ok, I'll go." Carter loads his patient on the chopper.
"CARTER!" Luka yells furiously.
The chopper takes off without us. Luka rushes to a nearby ambulance and urges the paramedic to go. I watch the rig pull away screeching its tires loudly.
When I get to County both Trauma rooms are full. Luka and Kerry are working on Michelle while Carter and Chen are with the old guy from before.
I enter Trauma One first. "Luka, how is it going?"
"Not good. Nine inch abdominal bleed on mom."
"How about the baby?"
"32 weeks size. Good cardiac activity." Kerry informs me.
I grab the ultrasound and check the situation for myself " Hold on."
"What?"
"There. A blood clot."
"Abruption?" Luka asks alarmed, already knowing the answer.
"Could be. Twelve milligrams of betametasone now." Kerry orders.
"What's happening? Am I going to die?" Michelle asks scared to death.
"The stab wound has damaged the placenta causing it to bleed which would cut off oxygen to you baby."
"Oh God!"
"Right now it looks okay but we may need to bring you upstairs for a c- section." I try to reassure her.
"You mean cut me open?"
"32 weeks is early but we're giving you steroids now to help ensure the baby's lungs." Luka says, always concerned about the baby first.
"Oh my God! Don't let my baby die. Doctor!"
"Shit!" Kerry curses "Fetal heartbeat is down to 60."
"Prepare for an emergency c-section!"
I do as he tells me "Get someone from OB here! And a neonatolgist stat!"
"Coburn is doing an ultrasound in Exam Two!" Chuny says and disappears to get her.
Janet Coburn enters the room and asks briskly like usual "Give me the bullet, Kerry!"
Kerry complies. "32 weeks preemie, abruption of the placenta and possible hypoxia. Fetal heartbeat is 20. Given steroids to improve the lungs and twelve milligrams of betametasone."
"Lost the heartbeat!" I cry.
"Ok, let's get him out!" Coburn swiftly perform a c-section.
Luka takes out a small baby and looks for a heartbeat with his stethoscope. The silence in the room is eerie: the baby is not crying.
"Is my baby ok?" Michelle asks feebly.
I put a hand on Luka's shoulder. He looks really upset. "Want me to pronounce him?"
"No. I'll do it. Time of death, 10:37."
He storms out of the trauma room and I follow him, leaving Coburn and Kerry with the desperate Michelle. Luka quickly walks down the aisle and heads towards Carter, who's watching his patient being wheeled out to the OR by Elizabeth.
"He died!" Luka spits out angrily.
"Who?"
"The baby of the pregnant girl!"
"I'm sorry."
"You killed him!"
"I didn't. Triage is all about-"
"I don't give a fuck about triage! You killed an innocent baby, you son of a bitch!" Luka loses it and punches Carter forcefully on the jaw. Carter flies on the wall and then slides down to the ground, massaging his jaw.
Kerry, who has been attracted by the noise, rushes by Carter side. "You need to be checked out. I'll order a set of facial x-rays." Then she turns to Luka who's storming off outside. "LUKA! Come back here, now!"
Luka doesn't hear her or pretends he doesn't and storms out.
"I'll go get him." I volunteer.
"Get his sorry ass here or he's fired."
I rush in the ambulance bay and I notice it's raining. Luka is standing there in pouring rain, his head down and his fist clenched so tightly his knuckles are white. I get closer to him. His murmuring something in Croatian, it sounds like a prayer. I gently put my hand on his shoulder. "Luka, I am sorry. I think you were right and-"
"Your being sorry isn't much helpful to that little baby!" he shouts with so much anger that I withdraw my hand quickly, hurt, as if I have touched fire.
Luka turns around and sees my hurt face. I am almost crying although I know I shouldn't. A flash of guiltiness flickers in his eyes and he steps closer to me and squeezes my arm.
"Sorry Susan, I shouldn't have taken it out on you. It's just that I can't stand seeing children die, I-"
"I know. It's ok. We'd better get inside though. Weaver is on the warpath. Said she's gonna fire you."
"There's no need to. I quit."
"What?"
"I've had enough of this."
"But, Luka, you can't. You, I-I'd miss you so much!" my eyes are filling with tears again.
He smiles sadly and caresses my cheek. "I'll miss you too. You're one of the few good things in this damn hospital."
He turns around again and slowly walks away in the rain. I just stand there, unable to move as he disappear from my sight and the rain soaks me. When I finally gather the strength I walk back inside. Kerry looks expectantly over my shoulder. "Spare your breath, Kerry." I say bitterly. "He's gone, he quit."
"What?"
I don't bother to reply and I walk in the ladies room. I lock myself in a stall and cry all my tears. For Michelle's baby, for Luka and for myself, because too many times this job sucks and life is unfair.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------
The following day Luka didn't show up for real. I tired to call him all day long yesterday and the day before that but at home I got only the machine and his cell phone was switched off. I didn't have the guts to actually go to his place. I am a bit worried. Unfortunately today is one of those day as in, after a quick survey, forty- three patients in chairs ant twenty-eight in the ER, plus a multiple trauma coming in. Not to mention that Chen is sick so it's only me and an understandably freaked-out Kerry. She barks at Carter on the phone to get here even if it's his day off. We're still short-handed, though.
Kerry picks up the phone again. "I'm calling a temp agency, we're still an attending down. And I'll make sure they don't send us an old dermatologist this time!"
The place is hectic. I run all over the ER like a crazy bee. We actually start treating minors in chairs without a chart. We're so swamped. Still no sign of the temp doc. My eyes grow big with excitement when I spot Luka, wearing a lab-coat. I can't help myself and I hug him. "Where the hell did you go?"
He smiles "I've being around, doing stuff. And before you ask me no, I'm not back. I'm just moonlighting and I am your temp today."
"Kerry will be glad, you're no dermatologist."
I try to work with him as much as I can. Not that we actually have time to talk, people just keep coming in. It's a nightmare. Carter is in a crappy mood because he was going to go on some kind of mini-break with Abby and instead he's stuck in the ER so I try to stay steer clear of him. Kerry comes along. "Luka, Susan. Take a look at this kid in Exam One. It's not that critical to require two physicians but I noticed that I can't separate you two today."
We walk down the hallway. Malik draws a curtain open. "Here's the water you asked me, Mr. Doyle. Mr. Doyle? Mr. Doyle?"
Luka checks the pulse of the unconscious man. "What did he present with?"
"Fractured clavicle. He's Weaver's patient. Absent breath sounds on the left." Malik explains.
"Do a tension numeral. Get a 14 gage needle on an open syringe. Come on let's go."
"BP's 50 palp. Nadine?"
"Yep. Quickly, quickly. Get him on a Pulse-ox. I got it. Okay check the pulse."
"Stronger."
"He's gonna need a chest tube."
"All he had was a broken collar bone."
"Not any more."
"Set at 95."
"Okay give me a ten-blade."
"You'll need me to decompress him?" I ask.
" I'm almost done. Thirty-two French."
"Suction's ready."
"BP's 100 over 50."
Kerry arrives, having heard the commotion, "What's going on?" she asks as Luka walks away to that patient we were supposed to visit together.
"Luka just saved your ass, Kerry. Looks like you missed an occult rib fracture."
"Jeez, I owe him a big one."
"He's a damn good doctor."
"I know. Shame to lose him in the ER."
"Then ask him to stay. You are the chief."
"If he apologizes to Carter I will."
"He won't, he's too stubborn. And he was right too."
"Carter did the right thing. He stuck to the rules."
"They were wrong."
"Sometimes they could be."
Kerry leaves me to ponder on this painful truth.
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The day is over soon, I sadly say goodbye to Luka and I notice is on foot.
"What happened to your Volkswagen?"
"I sold it as my apartment. I bought a new boat. She's a real beauty."
"Where do you live then?"
"In the boat. I might start sailing along the east coast again. I liked that life, no roots, not strings attached, only me and the sea. It's good fore a loner like me."
"Just let me know before you sail away in the sunset, ok?"
"Sure. Listen, why don't you come see my boat? Say tomorrow afternoon."
"Good. How am I supposed to find you? Follow the drain of my bathtub until I reach the lake?"
"Something along those lines. Just meet me at the harbor at four o' clock."
"I'll be there."