Chapter 4: The Set-Up
"Hotohori, my love, where are you?" Nuriko's distinct voice fell on the emperor's frustrated ears. Oh, would that woman just give up already. He had even tried to send his horse off in the opposite direction as a decoy. It had worked for a while, but the horse was too damn loyal and had come back to its master. Hotohori needed to shake his faithful tail soon so he could continue his search for Miaka. The thought made him sigh with longing. "Miaka."
~*~
On the other side of the forest, Tasuki had settled in for an evening of peace and quiet away from his five sisters. "No more talk about clothes, weight, and luvvv." He made a disgusted look before he wiggled into a more comfortable position against his chosen tree. "Ahhh. The Enchanted Forest where no one ever comes. Now I'll get a much deserved nap."
A sudden wind rustled through the trees. An eerie figure flashed in and out between the shadowy leaves.
"Who goes there?" "I'm warning you. I'm skilled in all forms of fighting: boxing, kung-fu, judo, karate, jujitsu, taekwondo. you name it." Tasuki's voice held steady even though his knees were shaking like crazy.
Tasuki whipped out his tessen and had it ready and waiting. When the figure appeared again he yelled "Rekka Shien!!!" Flames shot out of the fan, but the blast of fire simply went through the figure.
"What the hell?!?" Tasuki waited for an answer. None came.
"I must be hallucinating. This is all just a bad dream," he tried to reassure himself. "That's it. No more egg rolls before bed." He almost succeeded but remembered that he wasn't sleeping.
"Wait a minute, I'm not." Tasuki turned and came face to face with Chichiri. "Aaaahhhhhh!!! *deep breath* AAAHHHHHH!!!"
Chichiri held up a hand to Tasuki's mouth. "Your breath stinks, no da." That shut Tasuki up.
"Wh-what are you?"
"A humble monk, no da." Chichiri gave him one of his permanent moronic grins. "You, my impetuous friend, are going to help me change history, no da."
"How?"
"With this." Chichiri held up a single red poppy bud.
"That's it. A flower's going to change the course of history?" Tasuki was skeptical. His voice conveyed both disbelief and mockery.
"Hang on to it, will you. Follow me." Chichiri led him deeper into the forest. They passed the sleeping lovers in their little grove. When Tasuki made the comment, "ohh, they're so cute," he got hit on the head by Chichiri.
"Shhh. We'll deal with them later. There's other business to take care of now." He was leading Tasuki to the circular path Hotohori and Nuriko had been covering for close to an hour.
"Wait here." Chichiri left Tasuki behind some bushes and disappeared before his reluctant accomplice could complain.
Coming towards the hiding place was Hotohori walking next to the loyal, royal horse. "Finally," he thought, "I think I've lost her." He stopped right in front of Tasuki's bush. Hotohori looked around and frowned. His surroundings were both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. "I think I've lost myself." The disoriented emperor continued on his way.
Chichiri reappeared beside a startled Tasuki. He pointed to Hotohori. "There he goes, you idiot. Knock him out."
"Me? Why do I have to do it?" Chichiri was ignoring him. "Hey, who are you anyway? Who do you think you are, bossing me around like this? I'm the leader of the Mt. Leikaku Bandits. That's a very important position, ya know."
"No da."
"Whatever," was his retort, but for some reason, Tasuki obeyed the original command. As quietly as possible Tasuki stalked Hotohori until the right opportunity presented itself. Tasuki pulled out his tessen and mumbled, "I can't believe I'm doing this," before he conked his victim on his royal head. Hotohori slumped into the nearby grass in a very dignified and flattering manner. Tasuki stopped to examine his work. "Hmm, not bad. He looks like one of those nude paintings - just with the clothes still on."
"We can take care of that." Chichiri popped up behind Tasuki.
Tasuki's heart jumped into his throat. "Stop doing that already. You could give a guy a heart attack."
"Don't worry. It's not your heart I want to mess with. Now strip the Emperor will ya."
"Oh no. I may not like girls, but I sure as hell don't like boys either."
"You're a chicken, no da."
"I am not," and just to prove it he stomped off to Hotohori. He had the emperor stripped down to the waist before he realized what he was doing. "That's it. That's as far as I'll go." Tasuki got up and stubbornly crossed his hands in front of him.
"Very well. He looks pretty, no da."
Tasuki looked down at his work, cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, he does look even prettier with his shirt off. Ewww, what am I saying?" Tasuki made a gagging noise and spat as if his life depended upon it. He was still trying to shake the thought from his head when Chichiri interrupted him.
"Come on, we have more work to do." Chichiri was already walking towards Miaka and Tamahome. Tasuki trailed behind complaining. "What is this 'we' business? So far I've done all the work. As far as I'm concern there is no we. There's only you and me."
"Well then. YOU need to carry Miaka over to Hotohori, no da." Chichiri pointed down at Miaka's sleeping form.
"This shouldn't be too hard." Tasuki bent down to pick the Maiden up. He got as far as the picking.
"Well lift her up already."
"I am," Tasuki snapped through gritted teeth. With much effort he finally got Miaka over his shoulders. "Hmph. This girl must weigh a bloody ton."
"Hurry up. Nuriko approaches."
"Oh shove a cork in it, will ya?" Tasuki unceremoniously dumped Miaka's body on top of Hotohori's.
"Perfect," commented Chichiri just before he covered Tasuki with his magic cloak. "Now shut up, no da." Tasuki complied without a murmur.
It was just in time as Nuriko chose that moment to emerge from behind a tree. As if by some special radar, she headed directly towards Hotohori.
She smelled his perfume before she even saw him. "Oh, Emperor, I've found y." She was shocked silent upon the seeing Miaka snuggled on Hotohori's chest. The pair was illuminated by a beam of pure moonlight as if to show heaven's approval. Shock turned into hurt. With tears in her eyes, Nuriko turned and ran back into the dark of the forest.
"Stop her," Chichiri whispered hoarsely into Tasuki's ear.
"Now you have me hitting girls. What next? Stealing candy from a baby?" he challenged. He was staring straight at Chichiri's ever smiling face but was sure it now had a sarcastic slant to it.
"Never mind. She can't leave the forest anyway. You'll just have a harder time finding her, no da."
"You're a sad, sick little man."
Taiitsu-kun: And so ends the fourth act in this Outrageous Play.
A/n: thanks for the reviews, keep 'em coming.
"Hotohori, my love, where are you?" Nuriko's distinct voice fell on the emperor's frustrated ears. Oh, would that woman just give up already. He had even tried to send his horse off in the opposite direction as a decoy. It had worked for a while, but the horse was too damn loyal and had come back to its master. Hotohori needed to shake his faithful tail soon so he could continue his search for Miaka. The thought made him sigh with longing. "Miaka."
~*~
On the other side of the forest, Tasuki had settled in for an evening of peace and quiet away from his five sisters. "No more talk about clothes, weight, and luvvv." He made a disgusted look before he wiggled into a more comfortable position against his chosen tree. "Ahhh. The Enchanted Forest where no one ever comes. Now I'll get a much deserved nap."
A sudden wind rustled through the trees. An eerie figure flashed in and out between the shadowy leaves.
"Who goes there?" "I'm warning you. I'm skilled in all forms of fighting: boxing, kung-fu, judo, karate, jujitsu, taekwondo. you name it." Tasuki's voice held steady even though his knees were shaking like crazy.
Tasuki whipped out his tessen and had it ready and waiting. When the figure appeared again he yelled "Rekka Shien!!!" Flames shot out of the fan, but the blast of fire simply went through the figure.
"What the hell?!?" Tasuki waited for an answer. None came.
"I must be hallucinating. This is all just a bad dream," he tried to reassure himself. "That's it. No more egg rolls before bed." He almost succeeded but remembered that he wasn't sleeping.
"Wait a minute, I'm not." Tasuki turned and came face to face with Chichiri. "Aaaahhhhhh!!! *deep breath* AAAHHHHHH!!!"
Chichiri held up a hand to Tasuki's mouth. "Your breath stinks, no da." That shut Tasuki up.
"Wh-what are you?"
"A humble monk, no da." Chichiri gave him one of his permanent moronic grins. "You, my impetuous friend, are going to help me change history, no da."
"How?"
"With this." Chichiri held up a single red poppy bud.
"That's it. A flower's going to change the course of history?" Tasuki was skeptical. His voice conveyed both disbelief and mockery.
"Hang on to it, will you. Follow me." Chichiri led him deeper into the forest. They passed the sleeping lovers in their little grove. When Tasuki made the comment, "ohh, they're so cute," he got hit on the head by Chichiri.
"Shhh. We'll deal with them later. There's other business to take care of now." He was leading Tasuki to the circular path Hotohori and Nuriko had been covering for close to an hour.
"Wait here." Chichiri left Tasuki behind some bushes and disappeared before his reluctant accomplice could complain.
Coming towards the hiding place was Hotohori walking next to the loyal, royal horse. "Finally," he thought, "I think I've lost her." He stopped right in front of Tasuki's bush. Hotohori looked around and frowned. His surroundings were both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. "I think I've lost myself." The disoriented emperor continued on his way.
Chichiri reappeared beside a startled Tasuki. He pointed to Hotohori. "There he goes, you idiot. Knock him out."
"Me? Why do I have to do it?" Chichiri was ignoring him. "Hey, who are you anyway? Who do you think you are, bossing me around like this? I'm the leader of the Mt. Leikaku Bandits. That's a very important position, ya know."
"No da."
"Whatever," was his retort, but for some reason, Tasuki obeyed the original command. As quietly as possible Tasuki stalked Hotohori until the right opportunity presented itself. Tasuki pulled out his tessen and mumbled, "I can't believe I'm doing this," before he conked his victim on his royal head. Hotohori slumped into the nearby grass in a very dignified and flattering manner. Tasuki stopped to examine his work. "Hmm, not bad. He looks like one of those nude paintings - just with the clothes still on."
"We can take care of that." Chichiri popped up behind Tasuki.
Tasuki's heart jumped into his throat. "Stop doing that already. You could give a guy a heart attack."
"Don't worry. It's not your heart I want to mess with. Now strip the Emperor will ya."
"Oh no. I may not like girls, but I sure as hell don't like boys either."
"You're a chicken, no da."
"I am not," and just to prove it he stomped off to Hotohori. He had the emperor stripped down to the waist before he realized what he was doing. "That's it. That's as far as I'll go." Tasuki got up and stubbornly crossed his hands in front of him.
"Very well. He looks pretty, no da."
Tasuki looked down at his work, cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, he does look even prettier with his shirt off. Ewww, what am I saying?" Tasuki made a gagging noise and spat as if his life depended upon it. He was still trying to shake the thought from his head when Chichiri interrupted him.
"Come on, we have more work to do." Chichiri was already walking towards Miaka and Tamahome. Tasuki trailed behind complaining. "What is this 'we' business? So far I've done all the work. As far as I'm concern there is no we. There's only you and me."
"Well then. YOU need to carry Miaka over to Hotohori, no da." Chichiri pointed down at Miaka's sleeping form.
"This shouldn't be too hard." Tasuki bent down to pick the Maiden up. He got as far as the picking.
"Well lift her up already."
"I am," Tasuki snapped through gritted teeth. With much effort he finally got Miaka over his shoulders. "Hmph. This girl must weigh a bloody ton."
"Hurry up. Nuriko approaches."
"Oh shove a cork in it, will ya?" Tasuki unceremoniously dumped Miaka's body on top of Hotohori's.
"Perfect," commented Chichiri just before he covered Tasuki with his magic cloak. "Now shut up, no da." Tasuki complied without a murmur.
It was just in time as Nuriko chose that moment to emerge from behind a tree. As if by some special radar, she headed directly towards Hotohori.
She smelled his perfume before she even saw him. "Oh, Emperor, I've found y." She was shocked silent upon the seeing Miaka snuggled on Hotohori's chest. The pair was illuminated by a beam of pure moonlight as if to show heaven's approval. Shock turned into hurt. With tears in her eyes, Nuriko turned and ran back into the dark of the forest.
"Stop her," Chichiri whispered hoarsely into Tasuki's ear.
"Now you have me hitting girls. What next? Stealing candy from a baby?" he challenged. He was staring straight at Chichiri's ever smiling face but was sure it now had a sarcastic slant to it.
"Never mind. She can't leave the forest anyway. You'll just have a harder time finding her, no da."
"You're a sad, sick little man."
Taiitsu-kun: And so ends the fourth act in this Outrageous Play.
A/n: thanks for the reviews, keep 'em coming.