She sprinted from the dock, leaving a totally confused Spike in her wake. Her winter robe billowed out behind her, a blur of black as she moved faster and faster through the halls. At some point, she realized magic had come into play. Even without a wand. She didn't care.
Snape, on evening patrol, felt the breeze but saw nothing more than a flash of black. When he turned, it was gone.
Dumbledore, working late at his desk, felt the rumbles of Willow calling her power. He stood, intent on fetching Giles, but froze mid-stride as it ended.
Giles, working late in the library, heard the buzz of air and the tapping of rapid footsteps. Looking out the door, he saw nothing.
She stood face to face with Sir Cadogan fifteen seconds after leaving Spike.
"Is he in there?"
"My lady, don't take this the wrong way, but you seem a bit … perturbed. Perhaps you should…"
"Perhaps you should open the damn door, tin britches."
"Regretfully, I can not." Cadogan stood his ground.
"Then I guess I'll have to …"
"Don't you dare." The voice was cold. Menacing. Dangerous. She never thought she would hear it directed at her.
"I was looking for you," she said, spinning on her heel. He had a broadsword raised in front of him.
"Patrol. Outside. Spike's night off." Her eyes glowed with the darkness. "We finish this in my room, so no one gets hurt."
"No one's going to…"
"Yes or no? If it's no, I cut you down now." The sword had not dipped an inch. She knew he would do it without hesitation.
"Dave, I … yes."
"Cadogan."
"The password, my lord?"
"Coralvanda." The door swung open. He gestured for Willow to move first. They advanced into the room, still facing each other. "Care to tell me why you're into the dark magic and threatening my doorman?"
"I-I didn't mean to … no magic was supposed to be involved. I just started running, and somehow it got faster and faster …" Her eyes reverted to green and she began to shake. He wanted to put his arms around, to whisper that it would be fine and that they could handle it. But he wasn't sure it would be fine, and he wouldn't lie about it.
"Why were you running here? I saw you earlier, sitting on the dock. That's a lengthy run."
"I was upset. You've been totally avoiding me after … what happened last week."
"So?" He wasn't denying it. Her heart squeezed. Maybe she was wrong and it was about her.
"I … oh, this is going to sound so stupid." Tears flowed freely from her eyes. "I realized why you're here. Why you accepted Dumbledore's offer. And I realized that I've been such a fool."
"Dumbledore didn't make an offer until I suggested it was necessary. But now I'm curious. Why do you think I'm here?" The words were playful, the tone solemn.
"You're here to die." The sword finally fell; he rested the tip on the ground and leaned the hilt against his thigh. "Because you can't live without her."
"No, Willow, I'm not, and yes, I can."
"You're not?" She had been so sure.
"You're pretty much right, though, if you think I'm here to save Jess. I don't mind dying if I have to, to do that. Frankly, I just didn't care anymore, as long as I could help her." He was looking right into her eyes when he said it. "But I don't have my heart set on it, and it's less and less desirable every day. I came here because this is where she'll be. I think Voldemort will send her after Harry, and after Dumbledore. Mostly, though, I think he'll send her after you."
"Me?"
"Sure. Two dark witches would be a lot better than one. Dumbledore and Giles agreed. That's why they pushed so hard to bring you here. Even with the Slayer, you were too vulnerable in Sunnydale. Everyone on the dark magic side of the spectrum could feel your power growing."
"Me?" She said it again, not believing.
"They thought it was best not to tell you until you mastered your power. Spike, Giles and I have been setting all kinds of secret safeguards for months."
"You ran away." He barely heard the tiny voice.
"I did." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you or lead you on."
"But why?"
"Don't think I wanted to. And don't think it was you, because it wasn't." A small smile appeared on his face. "You're amazing, smart and fun and beautiful. You're the first person other than her that I've connected with in a long time."
She stepped up to him and put her left hand on his cheek. She was still crying.
"I really like you." It seemed weak to her, but he was touched.
"Oh, Willow … I know. I just … I'm not ready. If I were, I'd be kissing you now. Things between Jess and I … they're over. I'll never love her again, even though I still care for her, but part of me hasn't accepted the news yet."
"This sounds stupid," she said, her hand still on his cheek, "but how is it possible that you could stop loving her and be willing to die for her at the same time?"
"I can't trust her. She tortured me, Willow, for hours." He pulled away from her hand. "You saw the scars. I still have nightmares about it. I'll always be afraid that it will happen again. What we had … it's lost."
"But you'll die for her?"
"It's not her fault that she did those things. I can't love her because she might do them again, but I won't abandon her because of something she can't control. Do you know why I didn't kiss you?" he asked.
"N-no."
"You smelled like vanilla. You have gorgeous green eyes. I would've been kissing her. Not you. I won't do it until I'm kissing you."
"In my fantasy, when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me," she quoted.
"Huh?"
"Something Oz told me once. It means I understand."
"Can you be patient? Hold onto me as a friend for awhile? I need time, more than anything," he said, suddenly entranced at the prospect of that time being over. He hadn't been at all sure how she felt.
"On one condition." She grinned impishly, her fears dissolved. It wasn't her. They would work it out. She'd just have to wait for the smoochies to prove it.
"What's that?"
"Be my date for the Halloween Feast anyway?"
"Deal."