Giles and Willow left a dozen messages for Buffy over the course of the evening, wondering what had occurred and then demanding to be informed if everyone was safe. As the group walked in the front door, the phone rang for the thirteenth time. Dawn answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hello?"
"Giles. Hey."
"Dawn, is everything alright? We've been leaving messages quite frequently. We expected Harry and Grey to return hours ago."
"No big, Giles. Slight misplacement of Tara and a tea party with Drusilla. It's handled."
"Drusilla! Dawn, what has happened there?" She could hear Willow shouting in the background.
"Told you, everyone's fine. Drusilla was on her 'my Spike' riff for the year. She grabbed Tara as bait. We didn't bag her, but we got eight others. I hosed her with holy water."
"Everyone is well, then?" Though still alarmed, he seemed slightly relieved.
"Totally. Plus, Harry? Saved my life. Way cool wand-staking. And tell Willow her boyfriend is a total bad-ass."
"Might I speak with your sister, then?"
Buffy got on the phone and explained again. Giles and Willow finally accepted it, then suggested that Grey and Harry stay the night in Sunnydale. Buffy asked and, thoroughly exhausted by the ordeal, they readily agreed. Before ending the call, Buffy put Grey on and he assured Willow that all was well. Once that was finished, the six of them stood in the living room together. Grey spoke first.
"Tara, listen, we have a lot to discuss." The witch nodded. "How about this? Xander can drive you home. In the morning, you and I can go out for breakfast and talk. Would that be okay?"
"That would be fine," she said. After the rescue, Tara had been very quiet. Xander gave her his coat and said his good-byes, promising to return in the morning. The two of them left, and Harry and Grey were alone with Buffy and Dawn. Buffy gave Grey her mother's room and set Harry up on the couch, then left for a late-night patrol.
Harry couldn't sleep. He hadn't slept well since Halloween, in fact. Hoping to quiet his mind, he walked out to the front porch of the Summers home and leaned against the railing in the cool night air.
He kept picturing the moment behind the table, right before they attacked. The others had automatically looked to him for help, as they always did. But he had been completely flummoxed; if not for Neville, they might have remained behind cover while everyone died. They would never look to Neville, though, only to him. How was he supposed to have the answers? All he had done to earn that responsibility was to not die a few times. Hardly qualification of the highest order.
In his reverie, he completely failed to detect Buffy's presence on the porch.
"Hey," she said, startling him.
"Oh, hi."
"Not the safest town to be standing around outside at night," she said with a smile. "Bad things live in the Sunnydale night."
"Guess I wasn't thinking," he said distractedly.
"Or paying attention. I wasn't even trying to sneak up on you." Buffy looked him over. "Something wrong? You look all big thought-having."
"It's nothing, really." She leaned on the porch rail next to him.
"Willow tells me you're a famous big-shot in the wizard world. Is it something to do with that?"
"You know what I did to get famous?" Buffy shook her head, even though she knew most of it. "I didn't die. And now everyone expects me to be some kind of hero and have all the answers."
"Aah," Buffy said, empathizing. "I see. Don't underestimate not dying. It's a big part of success in any job. It's worked real well for me, unlike most Slayers. Although, I've died a couple of times, too, and it's still worked out. Mostly it's been about not being dead, I guess."
"Willow told me about that. She said you're the greatest Slayer ever."
"She's my best friend. She says stuff like that. I just do my job, is all. She and Xander have been a big part of it. Giles, too."
"Do you always know what to do?" He wondered if Buffy might understand the position he was in. He would have been flabbergasted at how happy it made her that she could actually explain stuff like this to someone who would understand.
"Nope. Almost never. So I do what I think I should. Most times I've been right, but not always. Why do you ask?"
"Every time something goes wrong, people look to me. As if I'm not just a kid learning magic. The other night…" He explained about Halloween. Even before he finished, she was nodding.
"I know where you're coming from. No matter what happens, you'll never have the answers every time. Trust me on that one. That's why you have people around you to help. This guy Neville, he had the answer, right?"
"Yeah."
"Next time it might be Ron, or one of your other friends. Keep doing what you think is right, and keep listening to them. You can't do anything more than that."
"How do you handle the responsibility?" She thought hard about that, knowing he needed a cogent answer, and considered how Giles would frame the lesson.
"Willow told me about some of what you've been through. When your friend's little sister was kidnapped, did you think about whether you could handle it?"
"A little. I had to do it anyway, though. She would have died."
"You could have gotten help."
"But they might have messed it up," he said indignantly. "How could I let someone else do it?"
"Easy. You just ask them to, and then do nothing."
"But what if she died? It would be my fault." Buffy smiled.
"There's your answer, Harry. You had to act, because you felt responsible. And when you act, from what I've seen and heard, it goes well. That's why people look to you. But they don't make the responsibility. You do. I'm the same way. There have been times when I could quit. I had more chances to than any Slayer ever born. One time, I did." She explained about her summer in L.A., glossing over the Angel issues. "You are what you are, kiddo. You can't get away from it because you won't let yourself. I guess I handle it by accepting that," she finished. Harry thought about her story and realized he would have done the same thing for Lily. He nodded.
"I understand. I do it because I have to, and I guess I wouldn't change it, because I'd feel terrible if something happened." He looked at the Slayer. "Thanks." She gave him a warm smile.
"No problem. Everybody needs a serious pep talk in between bouts of world saveage. Try Giles next time. He's way better at them than me."