Grey and Tara met for breakfast at The Espresso Pump. Grey bought coffee and bagels for both of them, ignoring her offer to pay, and they sat down at a table that faced the street.
"S-s-so I know what you're going to ask me," Tara said after a few minutes. Her stomach had tightened the moment she saw him in the garden, and now wondered why Willow had sent him instead of Giles. Didn't they understand that she could never risk Willow that way?
"I doubt it," he said curtly. He pulled out Collin Creavey's package from his pocket and handed it to her. "Please look through those carefully."
Tara's jaw dropped when she saw the first picture.
"They're – they're moving?"
"Wizard's pictures. Magic." She nodded, astounded. She flipped through more than a dozen pictures of teenagers in black robes. Their emotions ran the gamut from bubbly to dour. She handed them back, but he waved her off.
"Keep them. I know you think I'm here because you're needed for Willow's training," he began. She nodded. "I'm not. Willow's training is going well. Her control is improving rapidly. She no longer acts out of need to use magic, and when necessary she has used it and then been able to stop instantly. She's a long way from finished, but this is going to be a lengthy process. Years, probably." Tara nodded again, glad to hear of Willow's progress. "Twice she drew on the full extent of her power. Neither time ignited her addiction again." He paused, searching for the right segue. "Willow and I have grown close."
"Dawn told me. Y-y-you're dating." Grey nodded. "I'm glad. I want her to be happy." He could hear the sadness in her voice, and the longing.
"Tara, I want you to know, I didn't come here to cause you pain. Willow cares deeply about you, and I would never do this if I could avoid it. She asked me to come."
"Why?"
"She thought that if I came, you would understand the gravity of our predicament. It's important enough for me to come here, causing all three of us great pain, and sit down with you to talk about bringing you back into Willow's life." Tara nodded. She knew this had to be hard for him, and that he must feel threatened by her. "From what I understand, you're a specialist in healing and defense, and your magic and Willow's have a symbiotic effect, right?"
"Yeah. I-it comes from learning so much together, and from the H-hellmouth."
"My ex-fiancee slaughtered each of the children in those pictures," he said abruptly, going for the jugular. A strangled cry escaped from her throat; her rosy complexion turned white. "She has access to power even Willow couldn't harness. I'm trying to find a way to save her or, failing that, to stop her. Until I do, we need you to help hold her off. That's why I'm here. We need you. This is larger than the personal issues between you and Willow, and larger than any problem that might arise between me and Willow. It's about saving lives. Will you come?"
Tara tried to find a way out, but she had no choice. Not when the alternative was dead children. She shuffled through the pictures one final time and agreed.
Willow waited alone in her room. She knew Grey and Harry would be back soon, possibly with Tara. She had been rehearsing what she needed to say for the past three hours when the knock came at the door. She rushed to open it.
"Grey, I …" It was Tara. Smiling.
"N-n-not exactly. Can I come in?"
"Sure, Tara. Of course. Come on." She smiled her greeting as well, hoping to cover the ball of ice lodged in her stomach. They walked in, Tara glancing around at Willow's new home; Willow sat down on her bed and waited for her to begin.
Grey stood alone on the roof. Most of the day had disappeared while arranging for the packaging and shipment of Tara's things. Night had set on the Hogwarts campus when they returned. He went to the roof to train, but found himself staring out over the grounds instead.
Upon further reflection, and seeing Tara's face, he knew that Willow was in for a complicated evening. Tara would want her back. And, what she had said earlier notwithstanding, part of Willow would be drawn to her. As part of him had been drawn to Jess. He hoped she would choose him, but when the moment arose … the choice would be difficult. She needed to make it, and he doubted she would choose him.
So he waited.
"How are you?" Tara asked. She could see the anxiety etched in her lover's features.
"Mostly good. The good side of confused. I don't know … I have so much to say, and I don't know what I should and shouldn't. How are you?"
"About the s-same as you, I guess. I want you to know th-that I came because … not because I thought you needed me to check up on you or anything, b-because I don't. I came because of what Grey told me about the children."
"I'm glad," Willow said honestly. "I know you wouldn't come check up on me … well, I mean, you would if things were all bad, and I would want you to, because, y'know, I know you'll help me … I'm sorry. I promised myself there would be no babbling, but here it is."
"I-it's okay. I don't mind it." She smiled again. Willow had missed her smile so much. "Grey said you're doing well with your control."
"I am. Not great. At least I don't think so. But everyone else seems much more at ease. And I've had times where the power would just flood through me, y'know, but I was able to rein it in. So that's of the good."
"Th-that's so great, Willow." Tara meant it, but they were both stalling.
"Back from the Hellmouth, eh, mate? Hate that place."
"How've things been here?" Spike walked up next to him, the ever-present cigarette in his hand.
"Quiet night, last night was. Snape's pokin' about for you, though." Grey raised an eyebrow. Snape generally avoided him at all costs. "No idea what about."
"I told Buffy about your message. Seems it wasn't the one she sent."
"The hell it wasn't." Grey said nothing. "Oh, I get it. Her message was that she'd beat you up if you hurt Willow. The rest was my message." He chuckled, and Grey nodded. "She pissed?"
"No."
"Figures."
"I got the feeling she misses you."
"Don't be saying shit like that, mate, you know what's good for you." His game face came out unintentionally.
"Even when it's true?"
Willow decided she had to say it.
"Where are we? I mean, things between us." Tara gave her a guarded look.
"W-W-Willow, I-I-I …" she paused, trying to get her stutter under control. "W-Willow, I miss you so much, seeing you, talking to you, being with you."
"Do you want … to be together again?"
"How can we? You're with Grey."
"If I wasn't?" Tara looked away.
"Willow, I can't. I want you in my life so badly, but … n-n-not that way." She didn't look, fearing the expression on the redhead's face. She felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Tara, hon, look at me." The blonde witch complied. Instead of tears, she saw understanding. "It's okay. I destroyed what we had when I cast that memory spell. I regret it so much, but I can't undo it. If I've learned anything this year, it's that some things can't be fixed," she said, thinking of Jess and Grey. "It doesn't mean that something different can't replace it."
"I don't want you to think I don't trust you, because I do, just…"
"I know," Willow said sadly. She had been a fool, and the price tag was hefty. She felt more relieved then saddened that Tara didn't want her back, though. She would've felt terribly about saying she was staying with Grey instead. Then she thought of what else she had to explain, and her eyes filled.
"I didn't say she said it. I said I felt it."
"Heard you tangled with Dru," Spike said, deflecting the discussion. He flicked the spent butt away and lit another.
"She's different." Spike laughed.
"About six cards short of a deck, is what you're saying."
"Yeah."
"Always liked that about her, I did."
"Buffy called you her Spike."
"The fuck you say!" Grey eyed him and nodded. "I'll be damned. Bloody chit doesn't know what she wants now, does she?"
"Guess not." Spike smirked. Things were looking up.
"So you're up here while Red and Glinda have their chat, eh?"
"Glinda?"
"Tara."
"Oh. Yeah."
"Getting' all armored up for the inevitable dumping, eh? Right smart o' you, mate, 'cept that you're a bloody moron."
Grey glared. Spike continued unhindered.
"I'll tell you what I told Red when she saw you dancin' with the dish at Halloween. Do you trust her? If you do, then trust her. With your heart. With all of it. I know you want to. She's hooked on you like you're hooked on her. Let her do what she has to do. I'll tell her you're here."
When Grey turned around, Spike was gone.
"Tara, do you remember … when we fought before the fair? Before Glory?" Tara nodded. "I-I don't want you to think … it wasn't … this doesn't …" The thoughts broke the dam and Willow started to cry. "Me and Grey isn't about me changing back. I don't want you to think you were just a phase. I loved you, with all my heart. I can't have you thinking…" Her sobs drowned out the words. Tara, understanding her point, put her arms around Willow.
"Sshh, sweetie. I don't think I was just a phase. I know you loved me. I loved you too."
"Please believe me, it wasn't about boys or girls or sex or anything. I fell for him way before I slept with him, and it has so nothing to do with that." They separated. "I swear, it has nothing to do with things between us not being real."
"I know, Willow. It's about the people, not what they are. That's how you found me." Willow nodded, sniffling and wiping her tears with her forearms. "We can be friends, though, right?"
"You have no idea how much I want that," Willow said.
"Besides, he's a total hottie," Tara said, cracking them both up. The tension drained away, and Willow felt as lucky as she ever had.
"Tell me about it. I think…" she stopped, considering how unwilling she had been to give him up.
"What?"
"It's just, I just realized… I'm in love with him. I've known him three months and I'm in love with him. That's safe," she added sarcastically. Way to go and complicate things, Will.
"Love isn't safe, Willow. You know that. Have you told him?" Tara felt relieved; she had been so afraid of having to turn Willow down and be shut out of her life. The friend role would work fine.
"I can't. Not yet. There's a lot you should know, and I'll totally fill you in, but … he's not in love with me. And he needs to say it first."
He heard the feathery footsteps on the roof. Downwind, he smelled the cinnamon. For the first time since he asked Jess to their very first dinner, he wanted to vomit from fear.
She came up next to him and followed his gaze out over the grounds. She could see it on his face.
"You didn't believe me."
"I guess not."
"Why didn't you?" He didn't answer. "I would never have said those things if I had any thoughts of going back to Tara."
"I met her. She seemed… wonderful. Sometimes, you forget what it's like until the person is close."
"Jess lost you."
"Yes."
"I lost Tara. It's different."
"Anyone can become addicted to the powers you had access to, Willow. It wasn't your fault."
"Lethe's Bramble." He looked at her in horror.
"You didn't?"
"I did."
"That's mind-rape."
"I know."
They were silent. It felt like hours. Grey spoke first.
"She wouldn't have taken you back."
"I don't know. No. Maybe, if I pushed it. I didn't want to go back, though."
"I truly believed that you would. I think I wanted you to, a little bit."
"Why?" Willow felt a cold stab of fear.
"I'm afraid of… what we have. If you went back to Tara, I could just be hurt and put myself back together again. Now… we're on the edge of something scary."
"I know." With a hand to his cheek, she turned him to face her. "I would never, ever do anything like I did to Tara again."
"That's not the scary that I meant. I never thought you would. Not for a second."
"You can get out now, if it's too much. No big." Neither one believed that.
"Very big, actually. And I kind of like it. It's just … it's kind of a lot."
"Believe it or not, I've heard that before."
He kissed her, then held her tightly for a long time before they went back inside.
Together.