Chapter 6: In the Chamber of Lights
Ephram lied flat on his back as the table moved into the donut-shaped machine. He was trying so hard to be brave. But on the contrary, he was terrified. He searched for his father thru the observation window. Andy waved when Ephram looked at his direction.
"Hello, can you hear me?" The radiologist said thru the intercom. Her voice sounded like it came from somewhere near his ears.
"Yea. I can hear you." Ephram responded.
"Good. Let me know if you feel any discomfort at anytime. OK?" She spoke.
"OK."
"We are going to take some X-rays now. It's a painless procedure so I want you to relax. I'm going to ask you to do some breathing exercises in a while. OK?"
"Sure." Ephram's voice shook.
"Ephram.you have just entered the twilight zone." Andy's voice came over the intercom. "Dee-doo, dee-doo, dee-doo, dee-oo." He continued wanting to lighten the mood.
"Dad - it's not funny!!" Ephram laughed nonetheless.
The whirring noise from the machine gave Ephram a start. It seemed like an eternity being trapped in this chamber. He lost track of time. There was space in there only enough to fit him and the cushioned tray table. The beams of lights reminded him of an old Star Wars movie. He didn't move a muscle.
"OK, now Ephram, can you hold your breath for me?" The radiologist's voice said. "Good - now release your breath. Very good." Ephram followed all her instructions. "Now, I need you to take a deep breath."
Being confined in the machine for such a long time gave him an opportunity to reflect on what has happened to him within the past two weeks. He eventually came to the realization that he was here taking a CAT scan for a reason. It was because he had a medical condition that could result in death. One minute his life was going fine and the next, it could be snuffed out in an instant. He feared death the most. He watched how the death of his mother tore his family apart. He's seen the sorrow, known the heartbreak, and felt everyone's grief. He didn't want to put them thru that again. He closed his eyes tightly to stop tears from slipping thru but it was useless.
He clenched his teeth to keep from sobbing and held back sniffles. The tears continued to run down the corner of his closed eyes. He couldn't imagine his life like this. Waking up each morning wondering if that was the day he was going to die. He was so sad.
The movable table slid out of the gantry. Ephram was too caught up in his thoughts and hadn't realized the CAT scan procedure was over. Andy saw thru the glass window that Ephram was lying on the table crying with eyes shut. As soon as the radiologist said it was safe to go into the CAT scan room, Andy rushed to Ephram's side.
"Ephram! What's the matter? Why are you crying?" Andy exclaimed. Ephram refused to open his eyes. His shoulders shook thru muffled sobs. He clenched is fists into tight balls to hold his anger and frustration. It was not physical pain that made him so hysterical. It was fear and self- pity.
"Ephram? Are you alright?" Andy grabbed Ephram's shoulder and noticed his son's fists held in such tight grasps that his fingernails dug painfully into his palm. His arm muscles were flexed hard. Tears came flowing from his eyes. Neat tiny puddles of tears formed on the cushioned table next to his ears. He bit his lip to stop the tears but instead he let out a loud sob. Andy grew concerned.
"Ephram - tell me where it hurts." Andy panicked mistaking his son's emotion for physical pain. "Ephram, can you hear me? Say something." Ephram ignored his father and continued bawling.
"Son, where does it hurt?" Andy tried again. "I want to help you. But you have to let me know what's wrong."
"Tell me, does it hurt here?" Andy said seriously and placing his shaking hand gently on Ephram's stomach.
"No. It doesn't hurt anywhere." Ephram finally burst out as he opened his eyes. "I try to be brave, but I can't. It's so hard."
"Oh, hey. It's alright. It's OK to be scared." Andy took Ephram into his arms handling him ever so gently. Ephram buried his wet face into Andy's shirt and sobbed. Ephram wrapped his arms around his father, not wanting to let go. He didn't care who saw him or how loud he sobbed. He so desperately needed someone to lean on.
"I'm gonna die." Ephram choked thru streaming tears.
"Ephram baby. Shhh. Don't say that. Nothing's going to happen to you. I won't let it."
"Dad- I'm scared." Ephram cried.
"I know. I'm scared too." Andy soothed.
"Just hold me. Don't let me go. Please." Ephram clung to his father's waist tighter. He was shivering so horribly that it almost caused Andy to call for help.
"I won't ever let you go. You mean so much to me. I can't let you go." Andy whispered while rubbing Ephram's back.
"I don't know what to do." He looked at Andy with his watery greenish-gray eyes brimming with new tears. It was enough to make Andy explode into a crying fit but he bit back his tears and just held his son. He let a few droplets of tears escape when he was sure Ephram wasn't watching. He wished he had an answer for his son, but he didn't.
It was a long embrace and ultimately for the first time, Ephram actually felt safe. He whimpered and cried so hard his whole body convulsed uncontrollably. Andy kissed the crown of Ephram's head.
"I'm going to take care of you. You'll see." Andy offered. "Don't cry. It breaks my heart to see you so upset."
Eventually, Ephram calmed down. He brushed the last of his tears with the back of his hand and wiped it on his pants.
"You ok now?" Andy asked. Ephram nodded. "We're going to get thru this. We're a team, you hear? Teammates don't give up on each other." He nodded again.
"Sorry about your shirt." Ephram said gesturing to the huge wet tear stains on Andy's shirt.
"It's ok. Been a long time since I had a salt bath." Andy retorted. "C'mon, lets get out of here."
Ephram hopped off the table and walked out of the room with Andy by his side.
"You know, ice cream always makes me feel better. Let's take Delia, Nina, and Sam for an ice cream run. I'm feeling rocky road with lots of fudge and whipped cream today." Andy said smacking his lips.
* end of chapter 6 *
Ephram lied flat on his back as the table moved into the donut-shaped machine. He was trying so hard to be brave. But on the contrary, he was terrified. He searched for his father thru the observation window. Andy waved when Ephram looked at his direction.
"Hello, can you hear me?" The radiologist said thru the intercom. Her voice sounded like it came from somewhere near his ears.
"Yea. I can hear you." Ephram responded.
"Good. Let me know if you feel any discomfort at anytime. OK?" She spoke.
"OK."
"We are going to take some X-rays now. It's a painless procedure so I want you to relax. I'm going to ask you to do some breathing exercises in a while. OK?"
"Sure." Ephram's voice shook.
"Ephram.you have just entered the twilight zone." Andy's voice came over the intercom. "Dee-doo, dee-doo, dee-doo, dee-oo." He continued wanting to lighten the mood.
"Dad - it's not funny!!" Ephram laughed nonetheless.
The whirring noise from the machine gave Ephram a start. It seemed like an eternity being trapped in this chamber. He lost track of time. There was space in there only enough to fit him and the cushioned tray table. The beams of lights reminded him of an old Star Wars movie. He didn't move a muscle.
"OK, now Ephram, can you hold your breath for me?" The radiologist's voice said. "Good - now release your breath. Very good." Ephram followed all her instructions. "Now, I need you to take a deep breath."
Being confined in the machine for such a long time gave him an opportunity to reflect on what has happened to him within the past two weeks. He eventually came to the realization that he was here taking a CAT scan for a reason. It was because he had a medical condition that could result in death. One minute his life was going fine and the next, it could be snuffed out in an instant. He feared death the most. He watched how the death of his mother tore his family apart. He's seen the sorrow, known the heartbreak, and felt everyone's grief. He didn't want to put them thru that again. He closed his eyes tightly to stop tears from slipping thru but it was useless.
He clenched his teeth to keep from sobbing and held back sniffles. The tears continued to run down the corner of his closed eyes. He couldn't imagine his life like this. Waking up each morning wondering if that was the day he was going to die. He was so sad.
The movable table slid out of the gantry. Ephram was too caught up in his thoughts and hadn't realized the CAT scan procedure was over. Andy saw thru the glass window that Ephram was lying on the table crying with eyes shut. As soon as the radiologist said it was safe to go into the CAT scan room, Andy rushed to Ephram's side.
"Ephram! What's the matter? Why are you crying?" Andy exclaimed. Ephram refused to open his eyes. His shoulders shook thru muffled sobs. He clenched is fists into tight balls to hold his anger and frustration. It was not physical pain that made him so hysterical. It was fear and self- pity.
"Ephram? Are you alright?" Andy grabbed Ephram's shoulder and noticed his son's fists held in such tight grasps that his fingernails dug painfully into his palm. His arm muscles were flexed hard. Tears came flowing from his eyes. Neat tiny puddles of tears formed on the cushioned table next to his ears. He bit his lip to stop the tears but instead he let out a loud sob. Andy grew concerned.
"Ephram - tell me where it hurts." Andy panicked mistaking his son's emotion for physical pain. "Ephram, can you hear me? Say something." Ephram ignored his father and continued bawling.
"Son, where does it hurt?" Andy tried again. "I want to help you. But you have to let me know what's wrong."
"Tell me, does it hurt here?" Andy said seriously and placing his shaking hand gently on Ephram's stomach.
"No. It doesn't hurt anywhere." Ephram finally burst out as he opened his eyes. "I try to be brave, but I can't. It's so hard."
"Oh, hey. It's alright. It's OK to be scared." Andy took Ephram into his arms handling him ever so gently. Ephram buried his wet face into Andy's shirt and sobbed. Ephram wrapped his arms around his father, not wanting to let go. He didn't care who saw him or how loud he sobbed. He so desperately needed someone to lean on.
"I'm gonna die." Ephram choked thru streaming tears.
"Ephram baby. Shhh. Don't say that. Nothing's going to happen to you. I won't let it."
"Dad- I'm scared." Ephram cried.
"I know. I'm scared too." Andy soothed.
"Just hold me. Don't let me go. Please." Ephram clung to his father's waist tighter. He was shivering so horribly that it almost caused Andy to call for help.
"I won't ever let you go. You mean so much to me. I can't let you go." Andy whispered while rubbing Ephram's back.
"I don't know what to do." He looked at Andy with his watery greenish-gray eyes brimming with new tears. It was enough to make Andy explode into a crying fit but he bit back his tears and just held his son. He let a few droplets of tears escape when he was sure Ephram wasn't watching. He wished he had an answer for his son, but he didn't.
It was a long embrace and ultimately for the first time, Ephram actually felt safe. He whimpered and cried so hard his whole body convulsed uncontrollably. Andy kissed the crown of Ephram's head.
"I'm going to take care of you. You'll see." Andy offered. "Don't cry. It breaks my heart to see you so upset."
Eventually, Ephram calmed down. He brushed the last of his tears with the back of his hand and wiped it on his pants.
"You ok now?" Andy asked. Ephram nodded. "We're going to get thru this. We're a team, you hear? Teammates don't give up on each other." He nodded again.
"Sorry about your shirt." Ephram said gesturing to the huge wet tear stains on Andy's shirt.
"It's ok. Been a long time since I had a salt bath." Andy retorted. "C'mon, lets get out of here."
Ephram hopped off the table and walked out of the room with Andy by his side.
"You know, ice cream always makes me feel better. Let's take Delia, Nina, and Sam for an ice cream run. I'm feeling rocky road with lots of fudge and whipped cream today." Andy said smacking his lips.
* end of chapter 6 *