Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Dragoon or Jerry Springer or Jenny Jones or Sally la la la whatever her name is or Maury
I have no idea what's going on. . . Oh yeah. This is basically a mix of Dragoons, Dee, talk shows, and me. I think this is going to be good. What is the deal with my Dragoons and Disney fic? NO ONE reviewed? Does everyone hate Disney cause I tortured the living hell outta those puppets

Dragoons on Talk Shows

Ok this first one is we start at Maury with Miranda who gained a southern accent and 30 pounds

Maury: The topic is "Help! My teenager dresses like a whore". Lets start with Miranda. Tell us whats wrong

Miranda: Well I've been friends with Meru for a long time and she's always dressed like a slut. I want her to stop before she gets into trouble

Maury: Ok well OW!!!!

Maury turns around to see that Kee is poking him with a stick

Kee: So old. . . yet still alive. You must have so much botox in you Joan Rivers has none left

Kee pokes him and sees that botox is squirting out of his ear

Maury: SECURITY!!!!

The security takes Kee away but he starts to poke one of them

Kee: So bald yet so shiny

Maury: Ok lets bring out MERU!!!!

Crowd boos Meru as she walks to the chair cursing them out

Maury: Why do you dress like that

Meru: Because they found me like this in Donau and I have no other clothes

Maury: Lets hear from the audience members

Maury points and talks to someone

Dee: (yes the mighty Dee) MERU!!! You owe me a dollar from the bet and I want my shoes back STOP STEALING THEM I WANT DOUNUTS!!!

Maury: Don't get your personal bull(beep) in this show

Dee slaps Maury and takes the megaphone and beats him with it

Maury: We'll ow be ow right ow back ow. Tomorrow is "man or woman" with Kuja from Final Fantasy IX OW!!!

Now we join Dart and Shana on Jerry Springer. The crowd is chanting almost hypnotically. They quiet down as Jerry shoots one of the people to shut up

Jerry: Welcome to my show today "Secrets of Dragoon Trash" We meet Dart and Shana

Dart: Shana I have a confession to make. . . Shana im gay. . .

Shana: I know

Dart: Please stop im sorry I didn't tell you sooner

Jerry: Let's see what the audience say

Jerry goes to the mighty one herself

Dee: Dart, we knew you were a flaming homo since Seles stop thinking your lying to us

A fight breaks out of nowhere as the guards come and the audience starts chanting their names

Kee: What a (beep)ing train wreck for a show. . .

Now we're at Jenny Jones with Kongol and Rose

Jenny: Hi and welcome to today's title "Psycho-Bitch Devil-Worshippers" Today we see Kongol. Kongol, how did it get so bad?

Kongol: Scary witch-lady scare me. Make her stop!!

Jenny: OK let's bring out Rose!!

Crowd boos as she kills them all

Jenny: Rose why?

Rose: Well because I have the dark dragon spirit, I'm the Black Monster, I killed countless people, I loss my only love, and no one loves me ::sniff::

Jenny: Ok we're going to give you a makeover

Rose: WHAT!!??

A team of skimpy lifeguard ladies ::drools:: taser her and give her a makeover

Jenny: Let's me rose now

Rose comes out in a pink dress, blonde curly hair, and makeup

Rose: I swear to Soa I'm going to kill you, you old (beep)

I guess you see the next scene. Anyways Rose is putting Jenny's head in a circle holding a cat

We join that Sally lady with Haschel and Miranda (without the accent and 30 pounds)

Sally: ::holding her life machine:: Hi and welcome to "out-of-control teenagers". We meet Haschel who says his buddy Miranda is out of control

Haschel: Well Miranda is a bitch and im sick of it. . . stop hogging the life machine

Haschel and Sally share the life machine

Sally: Let's bring out Miranda

Crowd boos and she kicks their asses

Sally: What's with AHHHH!!!

Kee is poking her with a stick breaking her cardboard bones

Sally: AHHHH! MY TIBULA!!!! AHHH MY URETHRA!!!!!!! GUARDS

They take Kee away

Sally: Miranda do you do drugs?

Miranda: No im a natural bitch

Sally: why?

Miranda: I don't do drugs because one lick of the ecstasy tablet and I'll be like Kee

Flash to the time Kee was in a dark corner humping a cactus Flash

Miranda: That's why

Suddenly the door opens

Sally&Haschel: NOOOOOO!!!!!

With the blow of the wind it blows them away. It turns out they were made out of dust!! Nothing left but clothes and credit cards

Miranda: No boot camp for me

All: BOOO!!!!!

The End

How was it? Review don't be shy or lazy I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE ::lifts a sock::