Disclaimer: Of COURSE I own everything! Why wouldn't a fanfiction writer own everything s/he writes about. That's why it's called "fanfiction", right? Because you own everything. Yep, I own X-Files, Oreos, Raisinets, Hershey's Kisses, the whole deal. (for all you rocket scientists out there, and/or people who can't take a joke and want an excuse to sue people, I actually don't own anything. I don't know why you people make me say this. It hurts my self-esteen.)

[Our favorite little dog MANDI is running along the streets with MULDER's (KRYCEK's?) cheese in her mouth, apparently not noticing the mold. She is yapping her brains out (not literally, since she never really had a brain) when she sees a car zoom by the otherwise deserted street. She of course has to give in to the urge to chase it.]

MANDI: RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF! YAPITY YAP YAP YAP! RUFF RUFF!

MULDER(from inside car): Scully, why is that dog chasing our car?

SCULLY: It's MY car, FYI. And I don't know.

MULDER: I know! That dog is Mandi, and it's trying to give the master cheese to us because she knows that the cheese belongs with me. I've never seen a smarter dog!

SCULLY: (sigh) Maybe she's just another stupid dog who likes to chase after cars.

MULDER: Scully! How can you say that about the carrier of the master cheese?

MANDI (outside): YAP YAP YAP! ARF ARF ARF! RUFF ARF RUFF! YAP RUFF YAP!

MULDER: She's trying to tell us something! Stop the car!

SCULLY: No.

MULDER: Please? Pretty please with ice cream and sugar and a cherry on top? Pretty please with cherries and chocolate and Oreos and Hershey's Kisses and ice cream of all your favorite flavors and cheeseburgers and-

SCULLY: Cheeseburgers, Mulder?

MULDER: Yes. Although I'm not sure how many will be left since Krycek probably assembled at least some of his cheese army of doom before that wonderful dog out there stole the cheese from him. Anyway, continuing from where I left off-- cheeseburgers and all your favorite kinds of hard candy and Raisinets and more ice cream and--

SCULLY: Alright, alright. I'll stop if you stop rambling on about food and reminding me about the fact that you dragged me out here before I even had my whole breakfast!

MULDER: We can eat after I get the cheese.

SCULLY: (sighs and stops car)

MULDER: Here, doggy doggy doggy!

SCULLY: (rolls eyes)

MANDI: (runs over to Mulder and drops cheese at his feet) RUFF! (bites Mulder's ankles)

SCULLY: (stifles laughter)

MULDER: Ow! Scully, make her stop!

SCULLY: Why? She is the most wonderful, smart dog in the world, right?

MULDER: No!

SCULLY (mock shocked): But, Mulder, that's what YOU said.

MULDER: Well, it's not true anymore.

SCULLY: (rolls eyes and grabs MANDI, dragging her away from MULDER's ankles. She then holds the dog's mouth shut with one hand and supports her with the other while MULDER picks up his cheese, with which he is finally reunited (awww))

MULDER: Oh, cheese! I have finally found you!

CHEESE: It's about time too!

EVERYONE EXCEPT CHEESE: (gasps)

CHEESE: What'd you expect? I *am* the Master Cheese you know! Oh, and Jaenie? I really don't like how you kept saying "master cheese" without the capitals. It's very insulting.

JAENIE (off screen): Well sor-ry. I didn't know you could tell.

CHEESE: You don't have to be so rude. (to MULDER) Now can you please take my back to your kitchen? Put me in the fridge this time. It' really disgusting feeling to have all this mold on me.

SCULLY: (smirks)

MULDER: I'll do anything for you, Cheese! I love you in all of your cheesy glory!

CHEESE: That's nice.

SCULLY (whining): But Mulder, you said that we'd eat after we found your cheese!

MULDER: We must return the cheese to its rightful place on my kitchen counter first!

CHEESE: (clears throat. Don't ask)

MULDER: Oh, right. We must return the Master Cheese to its rightful place in my kitchen refrigerator first!

CHEESE: (nods approvingly. Don't ask how a cheese can do that. It just can.)

SCULLY: Oh, fine.

[They go back to MULDER's apartment and put the master cheese (CHEESE glares at JAENIE) Oh, right. They put the Master Cheese in the fridge and went to Burger King to get some Whoppers. Then they went to Dairy Queen and got ice cream, then went to the grocery store and SCULLY made MULDER buy all the stuff he put on top of his "pretty please". It was very satisfying for her.]

THE END.

Wait, you want to know what became of Mandi? Well, the author's sister became attached to the dog because it followed her everywhere. So the author's family did something stupid and adopted her. The little monster still bites ankles and chases cars to this very day.

THE REAL END