Okay. I'm betting most of you left this story for dead towards the end of
last summer. So did I. But it's back. Here we go again.
* * *
"Detritus use the piecemaker!" The troll fired against a whirling mace, which went up in a fireball. "Lovely job there, just 200 more to go." Vimes and squad sat in the wreckage of what had been a brick factory, a last ditch entrenchment before they abandoned the city completely. Sto Lat was looking pretty good right now.
"Are you sure we shouldn't just turn around and run, sir?" That was Nobby, who was hucking bricks and pocketing nearly everything else.
"Are you going to abandon your city?" and find out all the bridges are out, wondered Vimes with a growing level of panic. This was bad. The brick factory wouldn't burn, but these implements were pounding it to rubble. He was going to need some sort of backup plan. That was looking really, really bad.
* * *
Zaxton stood in the shadow of Vic. It was a moving tower fifty feet high and completely covered in black lead panels. On the front was one extremely large panel, which stood out from the others. It read VIC, in huge letters. But these slowly faded, and were replaced with: YOUR BIDDING?
"I want you to destroy Ankh-Morpork."
YES
"But first, is there a way into you? I want a good seat for the show."
BUT OF COURSE
* * *
"Take that!" Butterfly grabbed a battle-axe out of the air and broke it over her knee. Eric grabbed another battle-axe and turned it into a jam jar. This was progress. Rincewind was jumping up and down on an enchanted saucepan. He was winning. It helped that his boot kept flaring and scorching the pan. The problem was whatever temporary solution Q had installed, it was failing again. He was probably going to rocket off into the stratosphere soon, and then he'd be in real trouble. But the immediate problem was the saucepan. Step at a time.
* * *
Zaxton opened the door on the side of Vic and lit his lantern. And gasped. There were gears. Tens upon hundreds of gears, riding on axles, turning winches, pulling ropes. Occasionally, on would fall off the end of its axel and be caught by another one on the way down. There was a platform directly in front of him. He stepped onto it, and was carried up as gears seemed to jump out of nowhere and lift him up, up, up, and then he was-
-In a cramped but tastefully arranged office with a plate glass window looking out on the ruined city. In the middle of the room was the platform he had come up on, and around the walls was a wraparound desk with a chair that rolled along a groove in the floor. He seated himself in this, and found it surprisingly comfortable. On the desk was a small lead plate, a miniature of the on he had seen on the outside of Vic. He spoke to this.
"Okay. You may now leave for Ankh-Morpork."
YES. PLEASE LEAN BACK.
What?
WE WILL BE THERE IN SIX MINUTES
"That's impossible-"
And there was a rumbling from below, and a flame shot out of the bottom of Vic. It slowly, then more rapidly lifted off of the ground, then tipped into the wind and shot Rimwards toward destiny.
* * *
* * *
"Detritus use the piecemaker!" The troll fired against a whirling mace, which went up in a fireball. "Lovely job there, just 200 more to go." Vimes and squad sat in the wreckage of what had been a brick factory, a last ditch entrenchment before they abandoned the city completely. Sto Lat was looking pretty good right now.
"Are you sure we shouldn't just turn around and run, sir?" That was Nobby, who was hucking bricks and pocketing nearly everything else.
"Are you going to abandon your city?" and find out all the bridges are out, wondered Vimes with a growing level of panic. This was bad. The brick factory wouldn't burn, but these implements were pounding it to rubble. He was going to need some sort of backup plan. That was looking really, really bad.
* * *
Zaxton stood in the shadow of Vic. It was a moving tower fifty feet high and completely covered in black lead panels. On the front was one extremely large panel, which stood out from the others. It read VIC, in huge letters. But these slowly faded, and were replaced with: YOUR BIDDING?
"I want you to destroy Ankh-Morpork."
YES
"But first, is there a way into you? I want a good seat for the show."
BUT OF COURSE
* * *
"Take that!" Butterfly grabbed a battle-axe out of the air and broke it over her knee. Eric grabbed another battle-axe and turned it into a jam jar. This was progress. Rincewind was jumping up and down on an enchanted saucepan. He was winning. It helped that his boot kept flaring and scorching the pan. The problem was whatever temporary solution Q had installed, it was failing again. He was probably going to rocket off into the stratosphere soon, and then he'd be in real trouble. But the immediate problem was the saucepan. Step at a time.
* * *
Zaxton opened the door on the side of Vic and lit his lantern. And gasped. There were gears. Tens upon hundreds of gears, riding on axles, turning winches, pulling ropes. Occasionally, on would fall off the end of its axel and be caught by another one on the way down. There was a platform directly in front of him. He stepped onto it, and was carried up as gears seemed to jump out of nowhere and lift him up, up, up, and then he was-
-In a cramped but tastefully arranged office with a plate glass window looking out on the ruined city. In the middle of the room was the platform he had come up on, and around the walls was a wraparound desk with a chair that rolled along a groove in the floor. He seated himself in this, and found it surprisingly comfortable. On the desk was a small lead plate, a miniature of the on he had seen on the outside of Vic. He spoke to this.
"Okay. You may now leave for Ankh-Morpork."
YES. PLEASE LEAN BACK.
What?
WE WILL BE THERE IN SIX MINUTES
"That's impossible-"
And there was a rumbling from below, and a flame shot out of the bottom of Vic. It slowly, then more rapidly lifted off of the ground, then tipped into the wind and shot Rimwards toward destiny.
* * *