Total Eclipse of the Heart: Part 3 – Far Horizons – When one you love is missing how far will you go to find her?
By
Deborah (Kosagi) Brown

Skies of Arcadia and all associated characters are copyrighted to Overworks and Dreamcast. They just hang around my Gallery to cause trouble.

Warmth. Pleasant gentle warmth. A hand on my forehead, a remembered voice saying something incomprehensible, yet at the same time comforting. It feels so nice.

Wait a minute. Feels? I can't feel anything. My body is.

Memory tries to return, working its way through synapses not yet fully in tune. Synapses confused and twisted. Memories of another, simpler, life merging with my own. Cupil's memories and mine, becoming one. Mine in ascendant, but his showing me Fina's side of our battles. Her side and her pain. I remember her weeping for me, her sadness at my betrayal. Her sorrow for my death.

I feel tears trickling down my cheeks and am forced to stop thinking for a while. This body is too new, the ability to feel again too much for a mind so long contained.

At last, though I might wish otherwise, thoughts begin to assimilate. I open my eyes and find Vyse sitting there watching me. It was not his hand, I know that. Not his voice that drew me back. I cannot think whose.

"They said you were waking up," he says in that ever so annoyingly cheerful tone of his. No. Definitely not that voice. "How do you feel?"

There's only one response I can think of. I reach out and grab him by the throat.

***

Vyse would have been more disturbed by Ramirez' attack if it hadn't been so damned weak. A kitten could have batted the Silvite's hand away. Instead of doing so, however, he simply raised a brow at the thin body lying before him. Ramirez had never been especially big, but he seemed smaller now, more frail than ever. I'd swear he hadn't looked so weak before he cast those spells. A stiff wind could carry him away.

"When my trial is over and you next consign me to Deep Sky, pirate, bloody well shatter my crystal!" Ramirez' hiss was breathless and utterly exhausted.

Realizing that Ramirez fully expected to be executed for his crimes, Vyse grinned. "Given I ever need to consign you to Deep Sky again, Ramirez, I'll remember that." He thought about telling the man they had no such plans, but realized Ramirez would never believe it.

The emerald eyes blinked at him, confused. Then, suddenly, something seemed to strike him and he sat up. "FINA!" he gasped, before he collapsed backwards again, striking the pillows hard, gasping for air. His eyes were wide open, though and he turned a frantic gaze on Vyse. "Fina?"

"Missing. Galcian has her. Any thoughts on how he might have survived?"

"No" Exhaustion made the stern tenor seem somehow fragile. "None Why aren't you out looking for her?" The words were accusation and they sent a pang through Vyse. "Why sit at my bedside waiting for me to waken?"

Vyse sighed. "Because, Arcadia is huge, vaster now that our ships can go so deep and so high. Galcian could be anywhere. We will find her, that much I swear, but we need a clue." He looked at Ramirez, seeing the dark circles under the emerald eyes, the hollowness of the cheeks and understood. The spell he'd cast to save Ilchymis had nearly killed him again. Only some inner determination had held the Silvite to life. "I'd hoped you might know, since you were" he hesitated, saw anger flash in those eyes. So like Fina's and yet so unlike. It almost hurts to look at him. "I thought maybe you escaped with his help"

"No." The word was simple and flat. "Never again. I will never belong to him again. I would rather float helpless in the storms of Deep Sky. Would rather be cast far from the Silver Moon's light, to fall forever lost in the depths, with only the memory of my sins and my misdeeds for company."

Somehow, Vyse had a feeling Ramirez spoke from experience. He couldn't help asking. "How the hell'd you get out, anyway?"

"A treasure hunter. I believe his name was Bane."

Vyse couldn't help but chuckle at that. The one treasure he and Bane hadn't fought over and it was the one that might have been the most important. Still, perhaps it was better this way. Ramirez seemed changed. No less proud, no less arrogant, yet at the same time, chastened and well aware of what he had done. I could like him, the Blue Rogue thought ruefully. This is the Ramirez Fina knew, or at least closer to.

"What is so funny?"

"Oh, Bane and I have come into contact before. I guess he finally found a treasure that I wasn't after too." Vyse shrugged. "Look, if you don't have any thoughts on how to find Galcian then I'm going to have to go back to my other plan. Alphonso's being singularly uncooperative, of course, but sooner or later he's going to have to break."

The emerald eyes gave Vyse a long, considering and disbelieving look. "Torture? You?"

"Nah," Vyse answered, sighing. "That's the trouble with being a hero. You can't go around sticking bamboo splinters up people's fingernails. Unfortunately, Alphonso knows that too."

Ramirez allowed himself a slow, bleak, smile. "He doesn't know that about me."

***

"He shouldn't be up," Ilchymis pointed out to Vyse. "He was exhausted, almost beyond my skills to save." He wished he'd been there to protest against this ill-advised venture, but his other duties had required his attention.

Vyse nodded and Ilchymis had a feeling that the young pirate wasn't listening nearly as closely as he would have liked. "I know. But we need his help. He may be the only one able to convince Alphonso to talk. And the longer we wait to find Fina, the more danger she's in."

Ilchymis didn't like that answer. He was, he realized, taking a proprietary interest in the Silvite. After wearing Ramirez' Crystal around his neck for so long, he felt tied to the man in a way he wasn't sure he understood. The fact that he saved my life may have something to do with it, though.

"You should at least have let me check him out. Make sure he's all right." At Vyse's shake of the head, Ilchymis asked, "Why not?"

"He doesn't want to see you." Vyse looked at him. "I don't think he's mad at you or anything, so don't worry about that. If anything I think he's embarrassed. Give him time, Ilchymis. This can't be easy for him."

Ilchymis shook his head. He didn't understand, not yet, but for the moment he'd accept it. He looked into the monitor, watching the dark clad figure entering Alphonso's guarded room. He was too thin. Much too thin. It was amazing to Ilchymis that the Silvite was managing to stay upright, much less walk.

***

So tired. Rebirth, followed by two Spirit spells, has exhausted me beyond measure. I refuse Vyse's offer to get Ilchymis, though. I don't want him to see me. I don't want to be near him. I am, I begin to realize, afraid to. All the work Ilchymis has done, all his efforts to help his people recover from the Rains would not be necessary if I had not permitted myself to be swayed. If I had not allowed myself to be used. I do not want to see his eyes when he understands what it was he has cared for all these months.

Facing Alphonso is an easier task. Dressed in black, my sword at my side, I know I look like something returned from the grave, that I look like his death approaching out of the shadows. which is the whole point of the exercise.

The former Admiral, the man I replaced when his treason became apparent, is being held in more comfortable quarters than I would have given him. That, of course, is Enrique's work and somehow I can't quite find it in me to disdain it. After all, that same kindness has allowed me to live, rather than be thrown bodily into the depths once more – A fate I fear I more than deserve.

He stares at me as I enter the room. No longer quite as pretty as he once was, with half his face hidden behind a cybernetic mask, he almost looks effectual. Almost. Except on seeing me I can see him begin to cower. A part of me wants to revel in that reaction. Wants to see him as a mere worm to be ground under my foot.

He is watching me, human and cyborg eyes wide with fear and I smile at him. A smile that reassures him not at all.

***

Vyse watched the monitor worriedly, not at all sure of the wisdom of permitting Ramirez to confront Alphonso. The Silvite was chancy, in a fey mood that Vyse wasn't sure he could trust. His ordeal in Deep Sky and his rebirth had changed him, yes, but there was still that underlying arrogance, the certainty of rightness that made him such a dangerous foe. And, I hope, a powerful ally. With Galcian alive and Fina in his hands Ramirez may be the strongest weapon we have. I just hope he isn't the only weapon we have.

"I understand that you have not been forthcoming," Ramirez purred and Vyse could almost see the hairs on the back of Alphonso's neck rise. Hell, his own neck hairs were trying to stand on end. He glanced back at Ilchymis, wondering what the healer was thinking, as Ramirez continued, "Perhaps you do not understand. We require Galcian's location."

Alphonso swallowed. "I can't tell you that"

"Can't? Or won't?" Ramirez asked softly. "You are between a rock and a hard place, Alphonso. Galcian may kill you if you betray him again – given he recaptures you. I certainly will if you do not."

"You you can't. They won't let you"

"No? And yet I am here and they are not. Perhaps, if Galcian had not taken Fina, they would not be quite so anxious. But for his friend, even Vyse might be willing to permit one such as I to have his way with one such as you." The silver sword appeared in his hand, slashing lightly. "Oh dear. I do hope my hand doesn't slip. Being reborn can make one so very shaky."

Vyse stifled a laugh. The slash had cut nothing but the elastic holding Alphonso's pants up, leaving the former Valuan Admiral standing in his shorts. Alphonso squeaked, staring wildly at the delicate blade that was waving ever closer towards his belly and groin. From behind him, Ilchymis made a soft sound of protest and Vyse wished suddenly that he hadn't found Alphonso's discomfort so amusing.

"No don't Please don't hurt me"

Vyse felt Ilchymis put his hands on the back of his chair, felt the way the healer was squeezing the back, as if desperately trying not to interfere. It occurred to the young pirate that this might go too far and he wondered if he should stop it. I should. I really should. Yet what if he's the only hope we have of finding Fina?

"Don't hurt you? How many have you hurt? How many have died by your hands. For no better reason than your greed?" Ramirez had a look of focused concentration on his face, as a delicate move with the sword cut a slice into Alphonso's shorts.

Rather to Vyse's surprise, Alphonso showed a sudden touch of backbone. "What about you?" the man asked suddenly, voice wavering with terror. Back a terrified rodent into a wall, Vyse realized, and it sometimes turns out to be a weasel. "How many have you hurt? How many died by your hands? For no better reason than your blind trust in that man?"

Vyse started to reach out, to touch the button for the speaker, to tell Ramirez to stop, but it wasn't necessary. The sword wavered, lowered and disappeared.

***

I look at him. At this man who is nothing but a pathetic wreck of a human being. Greedy and selfish and right. How am I better? How am I superior? A failure in everything I have done or tried to do. Even my betrayals were failures. I have no right to pride, no right to arrogance. No right to anything. I feel my shoulders slump as the realization hits and hits hard.

"Indeed," I say slowly. "Then perhaps we understand each other better. He is not worth loyalty. Not worth the lives that he has stolen. Tell me where he is."

Alphonso's eyes are startled, distrusting. "I can't," he says again. "I swear to you. I would speak if I could." He touches his cyborg arm and I see it twitch, see his cybernetic eye flicker from one position to another. Watching me. Watching everything. Too wary, too intent. The eye of another?

His human hand moves against the wall. A delicate motion, it barely attracts my eye. I realize he's writing something, finger moving one letter at a time. Spelling out one word in the Valuan alphabet. SOLTIS.

There is pleading in his human eye. A pleading that I understand only too well. I cast my eyes over him, trying to determine the spot. See his human eye flicker sharply towards his cybernetic one. Once more I draw my sword and I drive it deep.

***

"NO!" Ilchymis leaned forward, about to grab at the microphone, only to be stopped by Vyse's hand on the button already.

"RAMIREZ!" Vyse shouted into the speaker. "DAMNIT! THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!" There was a puff of smoke rising around the damaged area as Alphonso slid to the floor, gasping in pain, screaming. Ilchymis felt his sympathies shifting this way and that. On one hand there was the cruelty with which Ramirez had threatened Alphonso. Like a cat stalking its prey. On the other had been his reaction to Alphonso's accusation. The reaction of a man suddenly faced with his sins and hardly able to bear it. Then there was this brutality. This unnecessary, unjustified, brutality.

How can I reconcile all these things? Ilchymis wondered to himself, anguished. A part of him felt sympathy and another part simply horror.

"Get Ilchymis. There was a bomb in his skull. I have disarmed it." Ramirez' voice was grim and angry. "Hurry! He might be saved." The Silvite turned, stumbled out of the room, hand on the wall barely holding him up.

Before Vyse could even respond, Ilchymis was out the door and running.

***

A little later Vyse leaned against a desk and glared at the Silvite. "You know, you could have come out and just told us there was a bomb." He had chosen to interview Ramirez alone, knowing that Aika's hot-headed anger would only have made the Silvite balky; knowing that Enrique could barely look at the man who had destroyed his homeland. The Emperor of Valua could forgive, but it was not yet possible for him to forget. Even gentle Ilchymis might not be too happy with the Silvite after what he'd just done, though it was hard to tell with the quiet healer. He certainly didn't like it at the time.

"By which time it would have been set off. He tried to be subtle, but Alphonso's idea of subtlety is limited. The cybernetics have to be aware of his entire body's movements. A part of his brain is replaced, after all. He was – however – able to tell me where Galcian is." Ramirez sipped at his wine, eyes distant and blank. "I would presume that you were never in the same room with him during questioning? Not you, or Enrique?"

"With his cybernetics there was a concern that he might be able to overcome any restraints we put on him, so, no none of us were ever with him." Vyse sighed. "Okay. I'll grant you, maybe you were right. But"

"He knew. He knew what I was going to do. Showed me where to act." The emerald eyes stared straight ahead, a look so empty and lost that Vyse couldn't continue scolding the Silvite. "He was right, you know. Everything he said to me."

Vyse looked at him, saw the pain and knew he had to do something. Say something. Before Ramirez turned himself inside out with the guilt that was obviously eating him up inside. "Ramirez? It wasn't all your fault, you know." He paused, hesitating only a moment before continuing. "They recorded what they did with you. No one could have withstood it."

Ramirez' face went white and he trembled, then seemed to force some agonizing thought away. "But it was my fault. I was weak where I should have been strong. Stupid, where I should have been wise. Arrogant, where I should have been humble." The glass in Ramirez' hand shuddered and Vyse reached out, taking it from him before he shattered it. "Everything I have done is my own fault."

"Your biggest fault is arrogance," Vyse agreed. "Even now."

Startled green eyes turned to look at Vyse and the pirate was inescapably reminded of Fina at her most ignorant. At her most innocent. Gods, I want her back. Want her back safe. The only thing Galcian could have done worse to him would have been to take Aika too. "It's arrogance to assume that you can be strong enough to bear everything – especially what Galcian did to you. Arrogance to assume that you can be wise enough to predict every possible mistake and account for it. Arrogance to believe that you can stand alone."

Ramirez turned his gaze away, "Can I have my wine back now?" he asked, a little plaintively. "I'm not going to kill myself, if that's what you're afraid of. Not going to break the glass and slash my wrists." He smiled sourly. "It wouldn't work anyhow. This body is different from before."

Vyse sighed, holding it out. "Here." He sat down, leaning back in the chair and stretching a bit. "All right. Where is Galcian then?"

"Soltis."

***

"He said Galcian took Fina WHERE?" Aika's shocked voice echoed through the meeting room, quickly followed by equally stunned and disbelieving voices from the other occupants.

Ilchymis listened to the discussion, a small frown on his face. It could hardly be surprising that no one in the room wanted to believe Ramirez. For one thing, Soltis – having risen, then fallen again – was buried in the depths, shattered beyond repair. Nothing human could have lived in such a place, surely. For another, this was Ramirez that they were speaking of. Ramirez, whose betrayals had led to the Rains of Destruction. Whose madness had nearly brought down the entire world.

"If I could," the young healer interrupted. "Alphonso managed to retain consciousness long enough to confirm that Galcian is in Soltis. He also confirmed that Ramirez' attack on him, while harsh, was necessary to prevent the bomb in his skull from exploding."

"What if it's a trap, then? What if he and Ramirez are in it together?" Marco demanded as the discussion raged on.

I can't blame them for doubting him. Yet Yet he was torn. He knew what Ramirez had been. Saw every day the result of the horror Ramirez had helped create. Knew it and also sensed something else, something more. He had seen Ramirez' sudden shift in mood when faced with the knowledge of what he'd done. When Alphonso's accusation had clearly and painfully struck home. He'd sensed a tension that might well have snapped entirely had the wrong thing been said at the wrong moment.

And I remember how his Crystal would react, every time I spoke of the Rains. Every time I longed to take him and Galcian and force them to see what they had done. Every time I cursed their deeds. Ilchymis could not be sure, but he thought that Ramirez might well be shamed by what he'd done. Not without reason, of course, but Ilchymis wondered what it must be like, to know oneself the cause of so many deaths. To know it and regret it and know too that no one could ever forgive him for his deeds? Not even himself?

Noting that Vyse was clearing his throat for attention, Ilchymis looked up. The Captain of Crescent Isle's Blue Rogues had stood up. "I would point out that, at this moment, we have no choices. We either flail around searching the planet for Fina or we take this one hope and hang on to it, praying that there's no hook fastened to the end." He turned to Enrique. "Your Majesty. I hate to ask it of you, but the Delphinus is the only ship we have with the ability to go into Deep Sky. May I steal it for a little while?"

Enrique smiled. "No." Before anyone could protest, he raised a hand. "If this is a trap it may well be used to leave Valua open to attack. We need the Delphinus for defense. However" He rose to his feet. "Brabham and Hans have been hard at work on a secret project. A new ship, experimental, of course. It has been fitted with every engine and hull improvement those two could think of. The plan was to use it to explore the Dark Rift, but Brabham believes it will also be able to enter Deep Sky from anywhere."

Everyone blinked at the Emperor, whose smile broadened. "Its name, appropriately enough, is Far Horizon."

To Be Continued

Author's Notes:

Zelda: Hang on to your hat, then, because it's just going to get weirder.

SonOfSanta: I definitely feel complimented by your comparing the story to Annie Felis', since that's one of my favorites on FF.net.