Title: Losing Grip
Chapter: Verse 1
Author: fading.away
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Angst, shounen ai, some cursing, OOC and A/U-ness
Pairings: 1x2, possible 1xR
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Aww, Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me. Neither does the song Losing Grip. They're used for entertainment purposes only, and I'm making absolutely no money off them! Sue and you'll get a broken pencil.
Author's Note: I don't like this chapter very much, hehe. Well, the flashback anyway. I wrote this before I wrote Verse 1, so pardon if it's confusing or doesn't make sense. Ah well, suggestions and comments are greatly appreciated! R&R I tell you! Flame me, love me, just R&R!

Am I just some chick you place beside you,
To take somebody's place
When you turn around can you recognize, my face…
You used to love me
You used to hug me
But that wasn't the case
Everything wasn't okay…

"No… no… please… no! Don't… stop…! I'm sorry… I'm sorry…!" Strangled whimpers and cries came from the room Heero occupied, before erupting into silence. Duo lay on his own bed, a look of intense pain scrawled all over his face. His eyes were closed, lips moving in silent prayer, as he waited anxiously. The silence continued, and Duo relaxed, thinking it was over.

Suddenly, a piercing scream broke the silence, causing Duo's eyes to snap open as he stumbled out of bed into the room alongside his. He paused at the door, peering in as his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

The room was surprisingly immaculate: clothes were neatly put away, the large desk uncluttered and in order. The bed in the left hand corner, on the other hand, did not belong in such a room. Sheets were rumpled, blankets were tangled, and a body writhed in the center, still asleep. Messy chocolate brown hair was even more – if possible – tousled, bangs slicked to the boy's forehead with moisture. His body, clad only in a pair of dark green silk boxers, was damp with sweat, cooling to grow clammy and sticky. From the look on his face, the poor guy was apparently having a nightmare, flailing his arms and legs all the while crying out.

Duo was instantly at his side, crouching on his knees beside the bed. He gently shook him awake, calling softly, "Heero… Heero… wake up… it's okay…"

With a sharp intake of breath, Heero woke. In a small, pitiful voice quite unlike his usual growl, he whispered hopefully, "Relena…?"

The American started, clearly pained by the simple one-worded question. Swallowing hard, he managed to sound calm as he replied gently, "No, Heero; remember? It's me, Duo."

Silence was his only answer; something began to scratch at Duo's heart, ripping at it mercilessly. With shaky fingers he clicked on a nearby lamp, causing Heero to wince at the sudden brightness. Duo barely noticed the burning of his eyes as he gazed down at the trembling figure of his lover. Heero stared back, confusion clouding his eyes before recognition kicked in far too late.

"Oh, it's you… Duo."

It tore at his heart fiercely, slowly tearing it to shreds. On the exterior, however, Duo managed to fake a mask of cheerfulness, replying, "Yea, it's me. Musta' been one hella' nightmare. You gonna be okay?" he added softly.

"Aah." Heero grunted briefly, voice gruff and apathetic. Duo nodded and straightened out the sheets around his love wordlessly before clicking the lamp off.

As he trudged off to his own room, he paused again at the door, turning back to glance over at the ex-pilot, whose back was turned to the door. Heaving a silent sigh, Duo turned to face forward and walked out, gently shutting the door closed behind him with a soft click.

As he lay back in his own bed, the sound of Heero's voice, so meek and small, immediately searching for someone other than he, played over and over in Duo's mind, ringing repeatedly in his ears. A simple word… how could it cause such pain? "Relena…?" Oh, how hopeful he had sounded!

He… he still loves… Relena. No matter what he says, he still loves Relena. After all these years, he still calls out for her… for her, to comfort him after a nightmare. Not me… What am I to him then? What value, if any, does he hold for me like he did – no, does – hold for her? Did he ever truly forget about her, and love me?

/Flashback/

Whistling cheerfully, Duo bustled about the warm kitchen. Wearing a ruffled white apron and a pair of fuzzy white slippers, hair up in a large bun, he played the part of a cheery housewife remarkably well. Grabbing the handle of the sizzling frying pan with one hand, he grasped a wooden spatula firmly in the other and began to stir the pan's contents expertly.

The sound of soft steps entering the kitchen was easily drowned out by all the noise, and Duo was completely unaware that someone else was in the room. Only when a pair of strong arms encircled his waist did Duo realize that Heero had sneaked up behind him. Setting the pan and spatula down carefully, he reached up to wrap his arms around Heero's neck and smiled.

"What you doin'?" the voice was muffled, as Heero's face was buried in Duo's hair, but the husky voice still sent chills down the braided boy's back.

"Cookin' dinner fer ya!" Duo turned to face his lover, a cheeky grin playing on his lips.

Smirking, Heero bent down for a kiss, lasting until the smell of burning food wafted up to their nostrils.

"OH SHIT!" Cursing, Duo hastily broke away and turned the stove off.

Turning back around, he purred, "Now, where were we…" But Heero was gone. He was left all alone in the hot kitchen, skin tingling where Heero and touched him, as if tainted with poisoned ice. Only then did he realize that Heero had whispered the name, "Relena…" during their embrace.

/End Flashback/

There was a sound of glass shattering, muffled as if from far away. Startled, Duo jerked, clutching his chest at the sudden pain that hit him, before realizing that it was his heart, splintering into the million pieces as the shards fell into the pit of his stomach.