Total Eclipse of the Heart: Part 10 – Final Atonement – When
all we do returns to us, what is left?
By
Deborah (Kosagi) Brown
Skies of Arcadia and all associated characters are copyrighted to Overworks and Dreamcast. They just hang around my Gallery to cause trouble.
The pain hits me suddenly and I feel I am being torn apart. My Silver crystal is too small, compared to one Galcian holds. My nature, Zelos' nature, demands I submit. I fight that demand with everything in me. I am not going to win, though, I can tell that much. There is a mind within the other crystal, a mind that had been shocked into unconsciousness when I'd used it before to raise Zelos. A mind that has spent entirely too much time alone, entirely too much time brooding. A mind that is now entirely insane. Elder Prime.
"Get out," I order my passengers. "ALL of you. OUT. I can't hold"
Opening a passage to my surface allows Marco to guide the life ship out and free. I am granted the sight of Fina and Ilchymis leaning over the rail, staring at me with worry in their eyes. Then I am forced to do the one thing that will keep Zelos out of Galcian's hands.
I dissolve, releasing every Silver creature from the whole and commanding them to return to the lands beneath the Silver moon. Like the Black gigas, I dissolve until all that is left is the human form at my core.
Once again, I fall.
***
"RAMIREZ!" Ilchymis clutched the rail until his knuckles turned white, watching the dark clad figure falling. The life ship couldn't possibly move fast enough to catch the Silvite. He'll be lost in Deep Sky. Even if his body is torn to pieces by the winds his crystal will survive. That was the true horror. Dying wasn't so bad if it was final, but to continue existence a prisoner of one's own mind, spinning and tossed eternally, seemed unbearable.
"Wait," Fina's hand clutched Ilchymis' arm. "Look!" She pointed at her kinsman and at first Ilchymis couldn't figure out what she was seeing. Then he realized, Ramirez was falling, yes, but his tumble was slowing and twisting. He was being drawn towards the black moon stone.
Marco glanced that way. "That thing's pulling him in. We noticed gravity fluxes around it when we first discovered it."
"Can you get us over there? If Galcian gets him" Ilchymis gave Marco a pleading look. The sailor had no reason to help Ramirez, after all, and after their argument earlier he was sure the young man would see his concern as simply proof of his obsession with the Silvite. I do care about Ramirez, the healer admitted to himself. But I would want to help even if I didn't. I just want to help more urgently because it's him.
"Already on it, Ilchymis," Marco answered as the life ship turned towards the black moonstone island.
Ilchymis sighed in relief, though that relief was short-lived. Ramirez was going to hit the island long before the life ship could get to him. Meaning Galcian would have all the chances he wanted to harm the Silvite.
***
Vyse cursed and handed steering over to his relief. "Aika, come on!" He wasn't sure what had happened, but it was obvious that Ramirez was going to need their help. Galcian was too much for any one man to deal with, especially one who'd been through so much in the last few hours.
Besides, all we need is for Galcian to find a way to turn Ramirez back to his side. He rushed out on deck and made a leap for the black moonstone island, landing on the dark surface and setting off at a run, Aika close behind. Galcian was yards away, standing over the crumpled Silvite with the Silver crystal in one hand and his huge sword in the other.
On the other side of the island Enrique had made a similar leap and if the landing wasn't nearly so graceful as Vyse and Aika's long practiced move, at least he wasn't sprawled on the ground and half-stunned by the force of it. I think he's been practicing, Vyse thought to himself as he ran forwards.
"Come no closer," Galcian growled, hand sweeping sideways and casting a wind that tossed the two pirates and the young Emperor off their feet. Another spell sent the rapidly approaching life ship above him tumbling as well, spilling its passengers out onto the island.
Vyse rose to his feet. The blow had hurt, but not nearly enough to stop him. Still, he'd learned caution and he moved much more slowly this time, watching as Galcian knelt beside the fallen Silvite, sword rising as he prepared to strike. The Blue Rogue started to run, knowing he'd get there too late.
" lord?"
Vyse skidded to a halt. The speaker was Ramirez and from his position he could see the huge green eyes open and stare up at Galcian in a bewildered fashion. Oh NO!
Galcian paused and Vyse saw his puzzled frown. "Ramirez?"
"My LORD! You're ALIVE! But Belleza that damned Rogue." The Silvite's voice had a high note to it, the sound of madness returned. "Oh MASTER!" Before Galcian could move to stop him, Ramirez launched himself at Galcian and wrapped his arms around the former Admiral.
"Ramirez" Fina's voice was choked with tears as she, Ilchymis and Marco came up towards them. "No Please no."
"I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true," Marco growled. "Come on, Vyse. What are we waiting for? Take them both down, before they start everything all over again."
"I don't want to admit it," Enrique said, "But he's right."
Galcian rose to his feet, one arm wrapped around the thin form of his ally. "Poor boy," he whispered, gloatingly, staring down his enemies with a look that spoke of utter confidence.
"I was so afraid," Ramirez gasped. "I was sure I'd lost you"
Vyse shook his head. How could Galcian have such power? How could he possibly have wiped away everything Ramirez had become so quickly. He gritted his teeth, swords drawn and ready, preparing to attack.
"Wait" It was Ilchymis, the healer's hand on Vyse's arm. A strange frown was on the Valuan man's face and he was watching the pair before them with an expression of utter concentration.
"WAIT?" Marco demanded, turning on the healer. "They have to be stopped. When are you going to admit that that white-haired bastard isn't capable of redeeming himself?"
Vyse would have spoken, would have ordered everyone to shut up and concentrate on Galcian but for one thing. Something was happening to Ramirez.
***
"It is all right, dear boy. I won't ever desert you again. With you at my side we'll conquer the world." Galcian's voice echoes in my ears as his arm wraps around me. How many times has he held me like this? How often have I taken comfort in his strength, when my own failed me? How many times has he played me for a fool?
"Really?" I whisper, tainting my voice with madness. It is the only way I have to get close to him. The only way I have to do what has to be done. "You promise? You'll give me anything I want?"
"Of course."
I can hear the others, hear Marco raging at them to attack, hear their hesitation. I have to be quick. I am relying on Galcian's towering ego, but he is not a fool. If they wait too long he may begin to suspect that his innocent toy, the one incapable of lies and deceit, has learned a valuable lesson from him. I clutch at him, changing the shape of my body as I do.
I could not have done this before. My physical humanity was too complete. Now, however, it is merely a matter of thought and imagination. Usually my sword is a part of me. This time I am my sword.
"That's good," I whisper as I change. "I want you dead."
Then I drive myself deep into Galcian's chest.
***
Ilchymis allowed himself to breathe again as Galcian staggered backwards, a huge silver blade buried in his chest. He'd be lying if he claimed he'd been certain of Ramirez. All he'd had was faith in the white-haired man, for certainly nothing Ramirez had said in the last few minutes could have been construed as anything but a new fall from grace.
The sword shifted, sliding out of Galcian and becoming Ramirez again. The Silvite leaned down, eyes on Galcian warily as he picked up the Silver crystal his victim had dropped. Then he backed slowly away as the former Admiral stared at him.
Slowly, Galcian began to laugh. A long, sour and hate-filled laugh that sent chills up Ilchymis' spine. "I see," the man said, staggering to his feet. "I understand now. I would congratulate you on finally learning to lie, were it not for the inconvenience you've caused me."
Does this man ever fall down? Ilchymis wondered, staring at their enemy. It did seem more than a bit unfair that they hammered and hammered on Galcian and he kept getting up. Though he might have the same feelings about us, he admitted to himself.
"Inconvenience?" Vyse said, softly, apparently sharing Ilchymis' opinion. "Then maybe it's time we did more than just inconvenience you."
Galcian laughed. "This body is a joining of my human mind with the strongest and oldest looper." He straightened and Ilchymis realized the wound Ramirez had dealt was healing over. "It is indestructible. You cannot defeat me."
"The one thing I have learned," Ramirez said softly, "is that there is nothing in this world that cannot be defeated – and not necessarily by what is stronger than it is. Vyse no more words. It's time to fight."
***
Vyse nodded to Ramirez, moving at Galcian at the same time the others were. Aika and Fina was gathering their energy, raising it as quickly as possible, while Enrique, Ramirez and Marco went in for the attack. Ilchymis stayed behind the main group, casting spell after spell to strengthen the group and speed it.
Galcian merely laughed, dodging their attacks and healing so rapidly that Vyse knew they'd have to find a way to bring him down in as close to a single shot as possible. It was, he realized, a race against time. Galcian was saving his energy, sure sign that he intended to use Total Annihilation on them once he had enough power.
Seeming to realize this, Enrique and Marco joined the girls in gathering strength, sharing it among the others and leaving Vyse and Ramirez to strike blow after blow on Galcian. Blows that merely made the Admiral grin with dark pleasure, for they were simply wasting their strength, while Galcian's attacks not only slowed them down, but weakened them further.
At last, though, Vyse thought he might be able to do what had to be done. The ancient spell, Prophecy, using all their strength in a single massive blow. If this doesn't do it, we're in trouble, Vyse thought as he felt the power surround them.
There was a massive explosion that threw black moon stones around like shrapnel, forcing the group to duck and cover. At its center, Galcian roared in fury and Vyse held his breath, hoping against hope.
As the dust cleared, though, the words, "Total Annihilation," filled the air.
***
Galcian's ultimate attack throws me to the ground, blood streaming from myriad wounds. My strength is gone, wiped away by the effort to cast Prophecy. Not enough. Not nearly enough. We can't defeat the bastard that way.
I lay sprawled on the ground, aware that the others are either near to or completely unconscious, and realize the only reason I am not are the crystals I hold. Six crystals, now. Five contained within me and Elder Prime's in my hand. My 'father' is mad, certainly, but his madness does not abate his wish to survive. It is the combination of that need in him and the power of the other crystals within me that defended me against Galcian's death magics.
Yet consciousness is a far cry from usefulness. I can move, can even rise, but I am the only one able to do so. My spiritual strength is sapped to near nothing and I have no spell that I can use to stop Galcian entirely. I clench my empty hand onto the rock beneath me and am surprised to feel a flood of power from it.
I should not be surprised, though. This whole island was the power source for Galcian's Black gigas. The closest thing to a Black crystal that the loopers had. I tighten my grip, pulling a stone free, feeling its power burn in my hand, then rise to my feet to face Galcian. I am too weak for more, can barely keep to my feet, much less approach him.
"So." He gazes at me, that smug smile on his face. How much I admired it once and how much I hate it now. "Still with us, boy? Going to try to change sides again, are you?"
"No," I shake my head. "It would be foolish to use the same trick again. There's only one thing I can do."
He laughs. "Yes. You and the others can die." He lifts his sword and walks towards me. "I told you, you cannot defeat me."
I watch his approach, feeling the crystals within me, drawing their power together and adding the power of the crystals in my hands. I wonder that he cannot see what I do, for I feel as if I should be glowing with the power inside me. This will destroy the crystals, will probably destroy me as well.
As he drives his sword through me I smile back at him and his expression changes, as if he suddenly realizes that he has walked straight into my trap. He's close enough, now. "You"
"All our transgressions come back to us," I tell him softly, ignoring the pain of his blade buried deep into my chest. Now I am glowing; red, green, blue, purple, yellow, silver and black, a coruscating light show that must blind the eye. "Our sins have come due. We have been tried, judged and found guilty. All that is left is Atonement."
***
Ilchymis, lying sprawled and exhausted on the rocky surface, screamed Ramirez' name as the blazing light show surrounded the Silvite and Galcian. It was a scream even he couldn't hear over the roar of power. Limned in the lights of the seven moons, Ramirez' body was surely being burned away by all that energy. Certainly Galcian's was. Ilchymis could see him fading, fragmenting into dust that swirled around the center of the light storm. Blinded by the light, Ilchymis couldn't have stopped staring even if he'd wanted to. Then the storm grew to take them all in.
At last the light faded and Ilchymis found his sight returning. He felt well, completely, utterly well. Something about what Ramirez had done had healed him entirely. Glancing around, he saw the others sitting up as well.
Looking back towards the center of the fight, where Galcian had stood, he saw nothing but a pile of ash. At first he was sure Ramirez was gone too, but then he spotted the pale hand amid the dust. He stood up, stumbled forwards, even as the others rose to their feet.
Falling to his knees beside the Silvite's crumpled figure, Ilchymis stared in dismay. Ramirez looked terrible, worse than he had after he'd saved Ilchymis' life. Lifting his friend up into his lap, Ilchymis was appalled to feel how light and fragile the thin body felt. There was almost nothing left.
I knew it, he thought to himself, he just couldn't resist blowing himself up along with Galcian. I'm just glad he didn't succeed. Searching his robes for the pouch of chams he'd gathered in the Archives, he lifted Ramirez' head and began feeding them to the Silvite.
Response was slow, slower than last time, but then last time Ramirez hadn't damaged himself nearly so badly. At last, over half the bag emptied into him, the emerald eyes flicked open and a hand reached up to stop Ilchymis. "Enough"
Ilchymis put the bag aside, helping Ramirez sit up. "Are you sure?" The Silvite was trembling, still weak.
"The rest is just normal damage," Ramirez answered. "And I'm not in the mood to bud off right now." He blinked at the healer. "Why am I not surprised you brought those with you?"
Ilchymis smiled as he gave his friend a Sacrulen crystal. "Because, I know you and you know me," he told him. "I knew that you'd sacrifice everything you had to stopping Galcian and you know that I won't let you without at least trying to save you." He put a hand under Ramirez' elbow as the Silvite rose to his feet.
A wry little smile crossed Ramirez' face. "Indeed," he said softly. "Indeed."
***
Vyse sat, taking some long deep breaths of air and watched Ramirez walk slowly towards them. "You know," he said, "Maybe I should just hand my title over to you."
"You do and I'll" Ramirez frowned, apparently not sure what he'd do. "I don't want any titles. The one I have is more than enough."
Vyse realized what he meant and shook his head, climbing to his feet. "Destroyer? If this doesn't wipe that one out, nothing will."
A sad smile crossed Ramirez' face. "Quite likely true," he agreed and Vyse had a feeling he didn't mean it the same way Vyse had.
Before the two could exchange more words, Aika had wrapped her arms around the thin Silvite and given him a huge hug. That alone might not have been enough to disrupt Ramirez' calm, but Fina followed suit from the other side, nearly causing the young man's eyes to pop out. " they do this all the time?" he managed.
"Only to people they like," Vyse grinned back. "Face it, Ramirez, you may not ever redeem yourself in your eyes, or in the eyes of a lot of people, but you've earned at least a bit of acceptance."
"Could I earn some lung space?" Ramirez gasped. At last the girls stepped back, grinned at him, then went to give that hug to Ilchymis.
Vyse watched his shipmate and oldest friend fondly, with a tender look, then turned a similar gaze on Fina. It was good, he thought, to have them back. And may I never lose them again.
***
Marco approaches me next. "I haven't forgiven you," he says quietly.
"That's fine," I tell him. "I haven't forgiven myself either."
"Good. See that you remember that." He holds out a hand though and it takes me a moment to understand the gesture. His grip is hard, saying what he is unwilling to say aloud. "I'll go get the life ship," he tells Vyse and Enrique. "We're going to want to go home now."
"Very good," Enrique answers, then turns to me. "You may not be able to forgive yourself, Ramirez, but I can't very well claim you've failed to fulfill the terms of your sentence."
"The terms of my sentence are for life," I say quietly. "I do not expect that to change."
Enrique considers this. "Yet there is the possibility of parole"
"I don't ask for it. Unless you command otherwise, I will return with you to Valua. Stopping Galcian is all well and good, but there is much left to do." I look at him with a firm expression. "Do you want me to leave?"
"It will be hard," Enrique warns me. "More will feel like Marco, or worse, towards you."
"Indeed," I agree.
Enrique glances behind me, towards Ilchymis. "I'll let your parole officer decide what you should do," he says finally.
I turn, realize the others are moving away, giving Ilchymis and I privacy. I blink at him, suddenly nervous. What if he decides it's better I don't go back? I realize my wish to return to Valua is only partly driven by my wish to help those I've harmed. That I would be content to serve my sentence anywhere, if it were near him.
He eyes me, those dark eyes curious. "You really have more than earned parole," he says softly. "Why put yourself through more pain, when you know no one there will fully accept you?"
I walk towards him, staring at his chest, avoiding his gaze. He is not as tall as Galcian and it is much easier to meet his eyes, but I dare not. I do not want to see that they do not contain what I want them to. "There isn't any place for me," I point out, uncertain how to say what I really want to say.
"Vyse would let you live on Crescent Isle, I think," Ilchymis tells me softly. "And you brought back that life bank from the moon. Surely you could work to rebuild your people's civilization?"
"That is something Fina is better suited to."
"And wouldn't she welcome your help? She loves you."
I find the words then. "Indeed. And I love her. But Fina and my people are not what I want." I step forward, put my hand on his chest and am amazed to see how much it trembles. "It's you I want."
He pauses, says very softly, "I have protected and cared for you Defended you despite what you've done. Are you sure you are not simply seeking more of the same?"
"There is certainly some of that," I answer and find my fingers playing with a strand of long brown hair that has fallen forward out of his hair band. "Can you say that you do not feel more than protection and defense of one you see as weakened and hurt by all he has endured?"
Taking my hand and stopping it from twisting his hair, he holds it gently. "Only in part," he admits. "And less that and more something else every day."
From somewhere behind us Marco makes a disgusted noise. "Will you two just agree he's coming back and kiss, already?"
I glance upwards in time to see Ilchymis make a face at Marco. Then he looks back at me and smiles, lifting my face to his.
As our lips meet and our arms tighten around each other, I know that I have fallen again.
Only this time I am not alone.
The End.
Author's Notes:
Admittedly, a soppy ending. Sue me. I like soppy endings.
DesertLynx: Thanks for the encouragment!
Isis2k2: Battles aren't something I write very well, I think, so I had to find a way to end it. And I like to respond to reviewers. I always appreciate the time and energy they put into commenting.
Raistlin: I'm afraid I prefer the story being slash to Ramirez/Fina, really. Besides, I rather like the idea of a ménage a trois for Fina/Vyse and Aika. Not that I'm likely to write it unless a plot occurs to me. Which it might, because Laurence has been giving me some intriguing ideas too. Anyway, sorry you don't like the slash, but hopefully the rest of the story works.