DISCLAIMER: Rurouni Kenshin and Rurouni Kenshin characters are exclusively owned by Watsuki Nobuhiro, Shueisha, Sony Entertainment, Jump Comics and associated parties. Please note, this is purely fiction and for entertainment purposes only. This story is not meant for sale or profit.
Author's Notes: A/U fanfic about the Kenshin-gumi traveling through time after accidentally getting trapped in a time machine while attending a high school Science Fair. Will they ever find their way back to the present? Lost in Time Comedy Fanfiction by Gypsy-chan Enjoy! (created 3/02, posted 6/02)
Author's Comments: Please note, this is a humor fic and should not be taken seriously. Expect a lot of OOCness on the part of the characters and situations. Also, I have done extensive research on many of the historical and scientific facts that will be weaved in throughout the story. However, I've changed those facts to fit my comedy story. I will post the internet sites of my research for those who want the real facts.^_^
Part Four
Circe-Megumi herded Sano-pig and Yahiko-piglet over to the pigpen where the rest of Odysseus pig-men were. They all squeal at the sight of Circe-Megumi.
Sano-pig looked up at her. Megumi-Circe said, "Don't look so sad roosterhead.... or shall I say pighead. Ohhohoho!"
Aoshi-Eurylochos stood in the shadows observing the whole thing. He hurried back to the ship to report all the things he had saw to Kenshin.
*****************
"They're pigs?"
"Yes Himura, they're pigs."
"Hmm... I never thought that Sano and Yahiko would be affected by Circe's spell. What are we going to do Aoshi?"
"Think Himura. What did we study in history class about Circe?"
"Uhm....." sweatdrops. "I think I remember. But are you sure you didn't just get scared and make all that up?"
Icy blue eyes glared threatenly into violet eyes. "Are you calling me, the one striving to be the greatest, to be a coward?"
Kenshin waved his hands saying, "Now, now Aoshi, you know that I would never call you a coward. It's the Odysseus side of me that's calling the Eurylochos side of you a coward."
Aoshi narrowed his eyes at Kenshin.
"It's apparent that you didn't pay attention to the teacher during history class. So let me refresh your memory. After Circe turned Odysseus' men into swine, the sole survivor, Eurylochos, ran back to Odysseus and urged him to set sail immediately. He relayed the story of the evil goddess Circe and how she would turn Odysseus and the rest of his crew into swines if they went back to her palace. The history book also said that Odysseus was not afraid. He wouldn't leave his men as swine and he would not risk any of the other men on his ship in a fight with Circe.
Himura, I would suggest that you search deep within yourself and find the courage that Odysseus once had. Take up Odysseus' sword and let us go back for Sanosuke, Yahiko and Megumi. They need our help."
While Kenshin stood pondering over what he should do, Aoshi retrieved the sword from Odysseus cabin.
"Take this and let us go."
"A real sword! But I've never held a real sword. It looks so... so dangerous. Somebody might get hurt, "namely me, oro!"
"Take it Himura."
"But I'm lousy at Kendo. I can't even hold a bokken without dropping it," whined Kenshin.
"Take the sword Himura," demanded Aoshi.
Kenshin took hold of the sword but suddenly dropped it.
"See, I told you I can't do it."
"Meditate Himura! Meditate! Find the courage of Odysseus within you. You and the spirit of Odysseus should become as one."
Kenshin watched Aoshi mediate. Then he tried meditating. After forty-five minutes of complete meditation, Kenshin suddenly felt a strength that was not his own. He bent down and grabbed hold of the sword. He began wielding it as if he had been a great swordsmen all his life.
"I did it Aoshi! I feel Odysseus' spirit of courage growing inside of me! Let's go get our friends!"
As they rushed off the ship and onto the shore, Kenshin-Odysseus turned to Aoshi and said, "Let me deal with Megumi-Circe, you go find Sano, Yahiko and the other men." Aoshi nodded and went into the opposite direction.
Along the trail to the palace, Kenshin-Odysseus met Hermes, the messenger of the gods, in the guise of a teenager named Amasku Shougo.
"Good day Kenshin-Odysseus."
"Shougo?"
"Yes, but I'm known in this world as Shougo-Hermes. I am the son of god!"
"Which god?"
"Zeus."
"Oh. So why are you here?"
"Principal Saitoh sent me."
"What does he want."
"He wanted me to tell you that if you don't hurry back to the future, you'll get a month worth of detention."
"Oroo!"
"I also came to tell you of a way to entrap Circe-Megumi and free Sano, Yahiko and the rest of the crew."
"Please tell me Shougo-Hermes what to do?"
"I will help you only if you obey the gods."
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"I'm a messenger, not an interpreter."
"Oro," sighed Kenshin-Odysseus. Shougo-Hermes reached down and pulled a plant called 'moly' from the ground and explained that mere mortals found it difficult to dig-up but he, as a son of god, could do all things.
Kenshin-Odysseus took the antedote and bid Shougo-Hermes a safe journey back to the future. He then went boldly into Circe's palace.
"Welcomed Ken-san-Odysseus, I've been waiting for you," purred Circe-Megumi. "You must be very thirsty after running all the way to the palace. Here, let me offer you a drink," she said while pouring him a drink and handing him the cup.
"Thank you Circe-Megumi-dono for the drink," he smiled while accepting the cup from her. "Sessha really is thirsty."
Sano and Yahiko were squealing their little pig heads off trying to warn Kenshin-Odysseus not to drink. But it was too late. Kenshin-Odysseus had already drank the potion. When Circe-Megumi thought the potion had taken effect, she struck Kenshin-Odysseus with her magic wand. The wand was supposed to complete the transformation process but it didn't work.
Circe-Megumi's eyes widened. "What happened? You should be a cute little red-headed pig by now."
"I took an antedote before coming here," he said before drawing his sword on her. "Circe, release Megumi-dono, Sano, Yahiko and the other men from under your evil spell."
Aoshi-Eurylochos had already released the pig-men and they were now running around the palace. Sano-pig and Yahiko-piglet scurried next to Kenshin-Odysseus.
Fox ears popped up on Megumi-Circe's head as she glanced down at Sano-pig.
"I'll change your crew and everyone else back under one condition."
Kenshin-Odysseus scratched his head. "Condition? I don't remember reading that in history class."
"Actually, I just made it up," smiled Megumi-Circe. "I'm making my own history. Ohhohoho!"
"Oroo!"
"I'll let Circe change everyone back as long as Sanosuke promises not to flirt with Sayo or any other girls."
"No way fox! Oink! Oink!"
Everyone, including the pig-men, glared at Sano.
"Okay, okay... oink, oink.... I was just kidding.... oink, oink. You have my word fox."
Circe-Megumi narrowed her eyes at Sano and began privately conversing with Megumi.
Circe: "I don't trust him. I think we should leave him as a pig."
Megumi: "Hmm.... me too. Then maybe he won't flirt with other girls. Ohhohoho!"
Circe: "Now I see why I chose your body. We think alike."
Megumi: "Yes we do. But I've had enough fun for one day. I think Sanosuke has learned his lesson. We should return him back to his human form now."
Circe: "I guess we have no choice, especially with Odysseus-Kenshin pointing that sword at our throat."
"Okay, we surrender," said Circe-Megumi. She released Sano, Yahiko and the rest of Odysseus' twenty two pig-men and ceremoniously anointed them with another one of her potions. The men were restored to their original forms but they were taller and more handsome than before they had been enswined. Well, that is, all except Sano and Yahiko. They remained the same.
"Hey fox, you could have buffed me up so more."
"Yeah, I wished you could have made me taller."
Fox ears appeared upon Megumi-Circe's head again. "It's not to late to turn you two back into pigs again." She pointed her magic wand at them.
"Okay, okay, fox you win," said Sano as he and Yahiko ran behind Kenshin-Odysseus.
Kenshin-Odysseus' men were very happy to be restored to their former self.
"I'm sorry to have enswined all of you," Circe-Megumi humbly said. "Let me make up for my wicked actions by offering you men something to drink.
The men all screamed and ran out of her palace.
Circe-Megumi looked puzzled by the reaction from the men. "Did I say something to offend them?"
Kenshin-Odysseus just smiled and said, "Come on everyone, let's get back to the ship. We still must find Kaoru and Misao."
"But I can't go," replied Megumi. "Circe and I are as one. The only way to break the spell is by a kiss from Odysseus, or shall I say Ken-san."
Megumi-Circe winked at Kenshin-Odysseus. He turned crimson in color. Sano immediately went over to Megumi-Circe and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"What do you think you're doing chicken head!"
"I'm making my own history, just like you did." With that said, Sano leaned in to kiss her lips.
"Eww..... Get away from me you big rooster head! You smell like a pig!"
"Oh shut up fox and let me kiss you."
"Where's that wand!"
Before she could reach the wand, Sano had already pressed his lips into hers kissing her with all the passion that burned inside of him. Circe forced Megumi to surrender under his kiss, allowing herself to indulge in such a rare pleasure.
As Megumi began to moan, a red faced Kenshin and Yahiko stood gawking at them.
"Ewww... that's nasty," said Yahiko before running out of the palace back toward the ship.
"Wait, I'm coming too," said Kenshin.
Aoshi grabbed him back by the color. "Sorry Himura, but you have to stay and make sure that Sano and Megumi leave unharmed. Circe is still inside of Takani."
Kenshin sighed after realizing that Aoshi was right. He remained in the palace while Aoshi went back to the ship. He quitely walked over to the heavily embraced couple hoping that they would come up for air soon. But they were so engrossed in their kiss they didn't notice anything around them. Kenshin gently tapped them on their shoulders.
"Uhm.... Sano...." tap, tap, tap...
"Megumi-dono...." tap, tap, tap....
"Circe...."
"Anyone?"
"Oroo!"
While Kenshin kept trying to break them up from the kiss, Circe began to commuicate with Megumi.
Circe:"Wow! He's not only a handsome hunk, he's a great kisser too! I haven't enjoyed a kiss like this in centuries."
Megumi: "This kiss was meant for me. You can leave now Circe."
Circe: "I get the hint, two's company and three's a crowd. I guess I'll leave you two alone for a while. But let me know if you need any help."
With that, Circe's happy spirit departed from Megumi. Finally, Sano and Megumi broke their kiss.
"Odysseus...."
Kenshin-Odysseus jumped upon hearing his name. "Did.... did you hear something," he stuttered.
"Yes, it's Circe," smiled Megumi as she pointed to an image of Circe standing behind him.
"As you continue on your journey, you will find your other classmates. I've given Megumi a special gift. Please hold on to the gift, for you will need it in order to appease Poseidon the sea god. After you have given Poseidon the gift, he will help you return to the future."
"Thank you Circe for your help," smiled Kenshin-Odysseus.
"I must warn you of one more thing. As you go on your journey, you will come upon three Sirens. Be careful not to succumb to their beauty and sweet singing. They will lead you to your death."
"Thank you again Circe," smiled Kenshin-Odysseus.
"Sanosuke..."
"Yes Circe.."
"You're a great kisser. Stop by to see me the next time you come back to my time period. I'll show you a good time," winked Circe before disappearing.
"You heard that fox. I'm a great kisser."
"Don't let that go to your big chicken head."
"You're just jealous," smirked Sano.
"Listen rooster head, it's not too late to turn you back into a pig."
"You wouldn't..."
Fox ears popped up on Megumi's head. "I've memorized the potion Circe used." She tapped her forehead and smiled wickedly. "I've got it all up here."
"Megumi!!"
"Ohhohoho!!"
Kenshin-Odysseus smiled as he watched the two bicker all the way back to the ship. After sneaking Megumi on board, (because bringing a woman on board was considered bad luck) and dressing her up as one of the crew men, they set sail in search of Kaoru and Misao.
On the isle of the Sirens, sat three sea-nymphs. They're names were Kaoru-Pisinoe, Misao-Aglaope and Tsubame-Thelxiepia.
"Mou! We've been sitting on this island all day waiting for Kenshin. When is he going to get here?"
"Himura and the others should be arriving anytime now. But being a Siren isn't too bad. We've met a lot of cute sailors today," smiled Misao-Agalope. "The one with the blue eyes reminded me of my Aoshi."
"One of the sailors said that he liked the way I played my flute," blushed Tsubame-Thelxiepia. "It's too bad he crashed his ship into a big rock."
"Well that's what he gets for flirting with a little girl," replied Kaoru-Pisinoe.
Suddenly, the fog around their island began to disperse. The girls saw a ship heading into their direction.
"Hey look over there! It looks like another ship coming," said Kaoru-Pisinoe as she pointed in the direction of the ship.
Misao-Agalope smiled brightly. "Okay girls it's show time!"
One of them played the lyre, another sang, and another played the flute in order to attract the sailors.
"Say Kenshin, I wonder if the Sirens are really as hot as the history book says they are."
Before Kenshin replied, Megumi walked past Sano and tapped her forehead while grinning wickedly at him. Sano sweat dropped after remembering what Megumi had told him earlier.
Begin Flashback
"Listen rooster head, it's not too late to turn you back into a pig."
"You wouldn't..."
"I've memorized the potion Circe used," she said while tapping her forehead.
End Flashback
"On second thought, never mind," sighed Sano. "I don't want to know."
Kenshin-Odysseus chuckled lightly.
"Before we reach the isle of the Sirens, we should all plug up our ears with wax," suggested Aoshi-Eurylochos.
"Why?"
Aoshi-Eurylochos turned to Yahiko and explained, "Because Greek legend has it that the Sirens used their charm and the power of their songs to lure sailors to their destruction. The words of their songs were more enticing than the melody itself. The Sirens would give knowledge to every man who came to them, they say, ripe wisdom and a quickening of the spirit."
"It sounds scary," said Yahiko. "Give me some of that wax, I'll help give out the rest to the crew."
As Sano, Megumi and Yahiko distributed the wax, Kenshin-Odysseus and Aoshi-Eurylochos conversed about the Sirens.
"I know that I shouldn't listen to their singing, but maybe the Sirens will know where Kaoru and Misao are," said Kenshin-Odysseus.
"Yes they may be able to give us a lead. But in order not to succumb to their charm, I will bind you with this cord, firmly against the mast so that you won't fall prey to the Sirens evil scheme. We can't afford to get shipwrecked."
"That's a good idea Aoshi. Make the cords good and firm and no matter what, don't release me."
"Understood," replied Aoshi-Eurylochos as he tied Kenshin-Odysseus to the mast. Kenshin-Odysseus saw Aoshi-Eurylochos about to go into his meditative state.
"Aren't you going to put wax in your ears too?"
"No. When I am meditating, I block everything else out and become one with my spirit."
Kenshin-Odysseus just nodded and then thougth, "Sano was right, Aoshi can be creepy at times."
As the ship sailed near the isle, the sea was calm. Over the waters came the lovely sounds of the Sirens. It was so ravishing and attractive. But Kenshin-Odysseus closed his eyes and refused to give in to their charm. That is, until he heard something different.
"Kenshin! Kenshin!!"
"That lovely voice.... is it... Kaoru? No. It can't be. My mind must be playing tricks on me. I miss her sooo much that I'm going crazy. It must be the Sirens way of making a man go insane. I will not listen."
"Hey Himura!! Hurry up and get your butt over here and rescue us!!"
Kenshin-Odysseus jerked his eyes open and head up. "There's no mistaking that voice."
"Sano! Aoshi! Release me at once! The girls are on that island!"
Sano's ears were stopped up with wax. He couldn't here Kenshin. Aoshi was in a deep meditative state, not able to hear anything either. After seeing that they would not respond, Kenshin-Odysseus looked over toward Yahiko hoping to get his attention.
"Yahiko!! We must help Kaoru-dono and Misao!"
Yahiko's ears were stopped up with wax also.
Kenshin-Odysseus tried desperately to break free of the cords that Aoshi had tied. But no matter how hard he struggled, the cord seem to get tighter. He then cried out at the top of his lungs, hoping that someone would hear him. But, it was too no avail.
"Kenshin no baka!! Get over here and rescue me now," yelled Kaoru.
"Sorry Kaoru-dono, but I'm... tied up right now."
"I'm known as Kaoru-Pisinoe in this world.... WITHOUT THE DONO!!"
"oro!"
Misao-Agalope saw Aoshi. "AOSHI!!! Help me!!"
Aoshi didn't move. He was still deep in meditation.
"Arghhhh!!!!" Misao-Agalope grew so angry that she threw Kunais at Kenshin. One hit above his head on the mast causing his eyes to swirl and another kunai landed next to Aoshi's feet making him look up. When he saw Misao, he smiled inwardly, careful not to show any outward emotions.
He rushed over to Kenshin and began untying him. "We must hurry and rescue the girls before sailing past them. Legend has it that when Odysseus safely passed the Sirens, they died."
After getting loose, Kenshin and Aoshi alerted Sano, Megumi and Yahiko about the girls. They worked together to rescue the girls and bring them safely onto the ship.
"I thought we would never see you again," cried Kaoru as she hugged Kenshin's neck tightly.
"Ka.... Kao...ru-do...no..... I.... ca...n't..... brea...the..."
"Sorry Kenshin," she said upon releasing him. His eyes began swirling as he fell to the floor. Everyone laughed.
"I almost forgot the discs," said Kaoru. "Here put this in your CD time machine."
Kenshin did as she instructed.
"Now everyone, set the coordinates too...."
Suddenly, the waters began to rage as a giant well built man, stood out of the water. He held a huge trident in his hand. In a loud thunderous voice he said,
"WHO DARES TO CROSS MY WATERS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!!"
One of the crewsmen stuttered, "It.... It's Poseidon! God of the sea, protector of all waters!"
All the crewmen began to bow down and tremble in fear. Except for Kenshin-Odysseus.
"That voice.... so arrogant.... so conceited.... so... He looked up into Poseidon's face.
"Shishou?"
"Yes, baka deshi. But in this time period I'm known as Poseidon-Hiko, God of the sea. It is only befitting that I be a God."
"Oroo! "Of all places for my uncle to show up."
"Shishou-Poseidon, have you come to help us get back home," asked Kenshin-Odysseus.
"No."
"Did Principal Saitoh send you?"
"No."
"Then why did you come Shishou-Poseidon?"
"I've run out of sake and I need you to get me some more. I hear they make good sake in the past."
"Why can't you get it yourself," whined Kenshin-Odysseus.
"What! You dare question a God!" He then thew a lightening bolt at Kenshin-Odysseus.
"Orooo!"
As Kenshin-Odysseus stood charbroiled, Megumi whispered, "Ken-san-Odysseus, quick, give him the gift that Circe said that would appease him. Then maybe he will help us get back to the future."
Kenshin-Odysseus began to sweat drop and stuttered, "Uhm.... I accidentally knocked it overboard when we were pulling Kaoru-dono and Misao on board."
"You what!!" cried everyone on board.
"I heard that Baka-deshi-Odysseus! You will pay for destroying good sake!"
He took his Trident out and caused a huge world pool. The ship fell into the world pool causing the crew to get back to their homes safely. Enishi and Gein were now monitoring everyone's activities on their computer in the future. With all the confusion, Enishi used that opportunity to send Kenshin, Kaoru, Sano, Megumi, Misao, Aoshi, Yahiko and Tsubame spiraling through time again.
"Where are we going to end up next," shouted Kaoru.
"I don't know," Kenshin shouted back in response. "Everyone! Hold on to one another!"
They all tried to stay together, but they were travelling so fast through time that they were forced apart.
"Kenshin!!"
TO BE CONTINUED......
Author's Notes: Konnichiwa minna san! Wow! You guys are really great reviewers! Thanks for enjoying my ficcy. Are you having fun! I am! I loved all the suggestions and comments. Keep them coming!^_^
Okay, as you know, there is just too many characters involved in Homer's Odyssey. I really couldn't fit everything in. I only wanted to do two chapters highlighting what I thought would be fun to have the Kenshin-gumi in. I started to do the House of Hades scene with Shishio as lord of the underworld, but changed my mind. (sob, sob) I really had to shorten it so that I could move on to the next part. So, in the next chapter you will see at least two historical figures. I'm kinda of working in a timeline that will bring the Kenshin gumi to Battousai's time and then back to the future. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
(P.S. For any Greek Mythology fanatics, go to the following sites for more info: http://www.messagenet.com/myths/immortals.html; www.pantheon.org/articles/s/sirens.html and http://www.thanasis.com/sirens.html.)
As usual, constructive reviews are welcomed as long as they are genuine and not sarcastic. Thank you for reading and being a considerate reviewer. ^_^