DISCLAIMER: Rurouni Kenshin and Rurouni Kenshin characters are exclusively owned by Watsuki Nobuhiro, Shueisha, Sony Entertainment, Jump Comics and associated parties. Please note, this is purely fiction and for entertainment purposes only. This story is not meant for sale or profit.
Author's Notes: A/U fanfic about the Kenshin-gumi traveling through time after accidentally getting trapped in a time machine while attending a high school Science Fair. Will they ever find their way back to the present? Lost in Time Comedy Fanfiction by Gypsy-chan Enjoy! (created 3/02, posted 6/02)
Author's Comments: Please note, this is a humor fic and should not be taken seriously. Expect a lot of OOCness on the part of the characters and situations. Also, I have done extensive research on many of the historical and scientific facts that will be weaved in throughout the story. However, I've changed those facts to fit my comedy story. I will post the internet sites of my research for those who want the real facts.^_^
Part Five
".....Where are we going to end up next," shouted Kaoru.
"I don't know," Kenshin shouted back in response. "Everyone! Hold on to one another!"
They all tried to stay together, but they were travelling so fast through time that they were forced apart.
"Kenshin!!"
*****************
After being hurled through time, Kenshin found himself lying on the floor of a huge castle. Sounds of footsteps were heard rushing toward him. Kenshin looked up and found several well dressed men making a big commotion over him.
"My Lord Leofric!
"Are you hurt Lord Leofric?"
"Allow me to help you up Lord Leofric."
"Oro?"
"What's wrong my lord?"
"Who did you say I was again," asked Kenshin while scratching his head.
All the servants glanced at one another.
"Why you are Leofric, Earl of Mercia," replied the head servant as he helped Kenshin to stand.
Kenshin looked around at the various paintings, servant's clothing and furniture that was in the room.
"Hmm.... judging from the things around me, I've probably landed in England some time during medieval ages."
"What century is this?"
The head servant arched his eyebrows deeply at Kenshin. "It is the 11th century my lord. Please come and sit down. You must have hit your head harder than I thought. I'm sure you'll be fine after you have rested up a bit."
As the head servant lead Kenshin to a chair, he turned to the servant standing near the doorway and saying, "You... lowly servant.... go flog yourself fifty times for causing Lord Leofric to fall and hurt his head on your wet floor."
"Yes sir," replied the man as he rushed out of the room.
Kenshin's eyes widened up at the head servant. "Don't you think that flogging is a bit harsh for something that wasn't his fault? I should have been more careful walking on a wet floor."
"Nonsense my lord. The servant's wet floor caused you to fall, so it is the lowly servant's fault. Besides, flogging is the preferred form of punnishment now a days," stated the head servant. "But if flogging is not to your liking, we could easily have him burned at the stake, fed to the wolves or hung by sundown. Which would you prefer?"
"No! No! I guess flogging will be fine," gulped Kenshin-Leofirc. "That's right. Medieval times were pretty barbaric. I've got to find the others before something bad happens to them."
Kenshin was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts when he saw a tall dark muscular man enter the room dressed in an elaborate religious garb.
"Anji Yuukyuzan?"
"Yes, but in this century, I'm a priest who serves in an abbey in Coventry."
"Oh. So why are you here?"
"Principal Saitoh sent me."
"What does he want now!"
"He wanted me to tell you that he's giving you two months worth of detention."
"Oroo!"
"I think it is time we discuss the needs of the community Lord Kenshin-Leofric."
Kenshin-Leofric nodded.
"When we last spoke, you suggested imposing more taxes in order to help fund the various needed facilities and services for the people of Coventry."
"Uhm.... yes, yes, more taxes is a good idea," replied Kenshin-Leofric.
"But you've already imposed enough taxes my lord," replied a female voice entering the room.
All eyes in the room were now fixed upon the angelic creature who had entered. Kenshin-Leofric couldn't believe his eyes. The ravenous beauty standing before him wore a royal blue silk tunic with various designs stitched in the finest gold thread. Her long raven hair was flowing freely down her back touching her waist. Her sapphire eyes sparkled from the light entering the room. The young lady bowed gracefully before Kenshin-Leofric and blushed under his stare.
"She looks absolutely beautiful. Ahhh...... my sweet, sweet Kaoru..... "
Kenshin-Leofric had lost the ability to speak at the sight of her. After several minutes, he finally found his vocal chords and stuttered, "Ka-rou-do-no?"
"Yes," she smiled softly, "but in this century I'm known as Lady Godiva-Kaoru, your wife."
"My wife? That's right. Leofric and Lady Godiva were husband and wife in the 11th century. Yeesss!! I think I'm going to love this adventure. I finally get to have the girl of my dreams all to myself. But, I'm afraid of touching her. She's like an angel. So beautiful, so graceful, so gentle, so....."
He was suddenly pulled out of his musings by strong arms being wrapped tightly around his neck.
"Oh Kenshin-Leofric... I was so worried that I wouldn't find you," she said while hugging him tightly.
Kenshin began turning blue. "Ka-ro-u-do-no.... I.... can't.... brea...the"
"Opps! Sorry Kenshin-Leofric."
As Kenshin-Leofric lie on the floor with eyes swirling, the head servant motioned for everyone to leave the room.
"Kenshin, I'm worried about Misao and the others. I haven't seen them yet. Have you?"
"No, I just got here myself. I'm glad you're alright. We should hurry and find the others."
Before leaving the room Lady Godiva-Kaoru held Kenshin-Leofric's arm back.
"Wait, there's something important I need to discuss with you."
"What is it Kaoru-dono?"
"Stop calling me "dono"!!
"Sorry."
"Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about the high taxes you keep imposing upon the residents of Coventry."
Kenshin arched his eyebrows at her. "High taxes? Why are you talking to me about that?"
"I don't know, I guess it's the Lady Godiva in me," replied Kaoru-Lady Godiva. "Anyway, I feel that the arts hold some measure of culture for the people of Coventry. Look at this wonderful painting by the new artist name, Ryuuzaburo Okuma," she said pointing to the painting on the chair. "Sir Ryuuzaburo says it captures my inner beauty."
Kenshin-Leofric tilted his head from side to side trying to figure out the painting. Finally he burst into laughter.
"Ah ha, ha, ha! Inner beauty? It appears to me that Sir artist became intoxicated from all his paints. (snicker, snicker). This doesn't look anything like you. I should have him flogged for painting such a horrible thing."
"You're just like the rest of the people, ignorant of the beauty of art," she pouted. "Why don't you take time and study the arts with me. Then you will understand what I am talking about."
"I have more important matters to attend to and so does the people of Coventry. Their main focus in life is on food, livestock and shelter. They're not interested in the arts as much as you are."
"Well if you'd stop piling up so many taxes then maybe the people would be interested in art," she pouted again while folding her arms and tapping her foot.
"You're so cute when you get angry my sweet wife," said Leofric-Kenshin as he moved closer to her. "Why don't we go back to my chambers and talk about something more important over a bottle of wine, (wink, wink).
Kenshin and Leofric began privately conversing with one another.
Kenshin: "Hey! Stop trying to make moves on my girlfriend."
Leofric: "Well your "girlfriend" has combined with my "wife", just as we did.
Kenshin: "Oh.... You've got a point there. But still...."
Leofric: "Listen, you and I both know that we want some. So let's humor her a little while longer and listen to her boring "stop taxing art and stop taxing the people" chatter. When she's done, we can move in and get some......."
Lady Godiva and Kaoru had begun conversing privately too.
Kaoru: "I can't believe Kenshin asked me to.... to...... (blush, blush) go to his chambers."
Lady Godiva: "No, I can assure you it wasn't your shy redheaded boyfriend suggesting the bedchamber. That was all my horny husband's doing. He never thinks above waist level when it comes to talking taxes with me."
Kaoru: "Oh.... So what do we do now."
Lady Godiva: "Whatever you do, stay strong and be forceful. Don't let him win this argument. We'll do whatever we have to in order to lower the taxes for the people."
Kaoru: "Right!"
Kaoru-Lady Godiva whacked Kenshin-Leofric over the head.
"Kenshin-Leofric no baka!!! High taxes are important! I'm not going anywhere with you until we have settled this matter once and for all!"
"Orooooo!"
Leofric and Kenshin began conversing again.
Leofric: "Your girlfriend can whack pretty hard."
Kenshin: "I know, I know." (rubbing the lump on his head) "So what do we do now?"
Leofric: "Hmm.... Knowing my wife, she'll never relent under this subject. So this is what we should do. Tell her that I will eliminate taxes on the arts and reduce the other taxes only if she rides through town in the nude."
Kenshin: "What!! Kaoru naked!!! I think I feel a nose bleed coming on."
Leofric: "Pull yourself together boy. Besides, I've just read your mind. I see that you've always fantasized about catching your girlfriend in the bath. Naughty, naughty."
Kenshin: "Orooooo!"
Leofric: "Don't worry, I don't think my wife would go so far to agree to ride through town nude. I don't think your girlfriend will either. So we're safe with this one. Now go on and tell her what I said."
Kenshin-Leofric cleared his throat. "My dear wife, I've been thinking about what you said earlier. I agree that the people of Coventry should be involved with the arts. It will greatly enrich their culture as it did for other cultures. Take the ancient Greeks and Romans for example they considered nudity to be a thing of beauty. The arts....."
Kaoru and Lady Godiva began conversing privately as Kenshin-Leofric continued speaking.
Kaoru: "Uhm.... uhm.... (blush, blush) I know where he's going with this. I studied this in history class."
Lady Godiva: "Shhh.... Keep quite. I've waited a long time to hear my husband gravel."
".... so, I will agree to stop taxing the arts and the people only, if you ride through the crowded marketplace at midday in the nude. I want you to prove to the population that the naked body is a thing of beauty, glorious splendor and a work of art."
Lady Godiva-Kaoru was stunned.
Leofric and Kenshin began conversing privately as they watched the expression on Lady Godiva-Kaoru's face.
Leofric: "Look at them. I told you they wouldn't do it. This debate is over. Now, let's break open some wine and go celebrate in the bed chamber with our women."
Kenshin: "Don't be so sure of yourself, look....."
Lady Godiva-Kaoru smiled wickedly. "I accept your challenge my dear husband."
"What!!!" Kenshin-Leofric was astounded by her response. "What did you say!!"
"I said, I accept your challenge. I truly do believe in my crusade for stopping taxes. So I will ride through town tomorrow, at noon, in the nude. I must take my leave now, for I have many things to do in order to prepare for the ride."
With that, Lady Godiva-Kaoru left the room.
Leofric and Kenshin began conversing privately again.
Leofric: "What a woman!! I can't believe she's going to do it."
Kenshin: "Orooo!! What have I gotten my sweet Kaoru into?"
Leofric: "I can't wait to see your girlfriend's perfect body with my wife's proud spirit. This is going to prove quite interesting."
Kenshin: "Leofric you pervert!! I'm going to strangle you for what you've done."
Kenshin threw himself on the floor and began punching himself in the face. The head servant walked into the room and stared at Kenshin-Leofric on the floor.
"Oh, I see my lord has taken up flogging too."
Kenshin-Leofric stopped and stuttered, "It's.... uhm.... not what you think."
"Don't worry my lord, I will not allow you to flog yourself alone. Hey you.... lowly servant, get in here and flog yourself with Lord Leofric."
As the lowly servant entered the room Kenshin recognized him.
"Udo Jin-eh? You're the kid in my old kendo class. You're the lowly servant?"
"Yes, but in this century I'm known as Wilfred-Udo Jin-eh."
"Don't tell me, Principal Saitoh sent you to tell me about more detention, right?"
"No. I came on my own. I love the tools of torture in this century," smirked Wilfred-Jin-eh. "You should try the rack, it's very good for straightening up bad posture."
"Oro?"
Wilfred-Jin-eh began flogging himself harshly. "Ahh... this feels good...."
Kenshin-Leofric stared at Jin-eh. "He's soooo weird."
By the next day, talk of Lady Godiva's ride had spread in whispers throughout the whole of Coventry. Not wishing to reveal that this private conversation between Lady Godiva-Kaoru and Leofric-Kenshin had taken place, the marketplace's business proceeded as it might have done on any other less interesting Thursday in late August.
As noon approached, so did the nude bare backed rider. The rider sat straight and properly in the saddle with a look of pride and confidence. You could clearly see that the rider was unashamed. No jewelery or other adornment was worn.
The townspeople remained silent throughout most of the ride. Showing respect for what was being done on their behalf. The wind shifted slightly causing long lovely locks to flow in the wind. One person looked up and commented,
"See the beauty and splendor of our fair Lady Godiva. She rides through the streets proudly with her beautiful long red hair flowing freely in the wind. Wait a minute..... that's not Lady Godiva. She doesn't have red hair. That's a.... a.... man!! Let's get him!!"
"Oroooo!"
Leofric and Kenshin began conversing privately again.
Leofric: "I told you this wouldn't work! You should have let my wife make her ride!"
Kenshin: "There's no way I would allow everyone to oggle at my girlfriend's perfect body before I do. Now get out of my head Leofric!"
Leofric departed leaving a naked Kenshin galloping quickly down the streets trying to escape an angry mob. He had the horse jump over people, carriages and houses. The angry mob finally gave up. They couldn't kee up with him.
On the outskirts of town, Kaoru stood patiently awaiting Kenshin. As he neared her, she glanced upward at the naked rider straddling the horse. He quickly covered his (blush, blush) personally belongings. Kaoru blushed deeply and giggled. Kenshin blushed crimson in color.
"Nice chest," she giggled.
"Uhm.... thanks," he stuttered.
"Thank you for riding for me Kenshin. I know I was suppose to but I was...." she started blushing and giggling.
"I would do anything for you Kaoru."
They both stood blushing at one another until Kenshin felt a slight breeze. Which brought to his mind his clothes.
"Uhm.... Kaoru.... Where are my clothes?"
"Over here," she replied while holding up his shirt and pants.
"May I have my clothes?"
"No. You have to get off your horse and come get them from me."
The young teenager's face turned a flaming red, matching his hair color.
"Oro!?!"
Kaoru giggled again. "I'm just teasing you silly. Here's your clothes," she said while covering her eyes and handing Kenshin his clothes. "I think we better hurry before that angry mob track us down."
Kenshin nodded and quickly put on his clothes. Kaoru suddenly saw men coming on horses with swords in their hands.
"Kenshin!! They're coming!!"
Kenshin quickly swept Kaoru off her feet onto his horse.
"Hold on," he shouted while making a made dash toward the end of the forest.
"Kaoru, when I give the word, press the button on my portable time machine. We're going to jump to a different time period."
"Okay!"
The angry men chased them through the forest to a clearing near a big cliff.
"Ha! Ha! Ha! There's no way to escape," laughed a big burly man.
Kenshin smiled and calmly replied, "Now." Kaoru pushed the button on Kenshin's portable time machine. The angry mob watched as Kenshin, Kaoru and the horse jumped off the cliff and disappeared before their eyes. They were all astounded.
"Where did that strange redheaded young man learn to ride a horse like that?"
"I guess we'll never know."
Kenshin and Kaoru were now drifting through time, not knowing where they will end up next.
GO TO NEXT PART
Author's Notes: Konnichiwa minna san! Sorry it took so long. I've been busy updating my site. I really liked how it turned out. Thanks for sticking around and reading my stories. You guys are great! ^_^
Okay, you probably think I'm weird for putting in that Udo Jin-eh part. I've always thought that last line he uses after stabbing himself, "Ah... this feels good..." was just too weird. I knew I had to work it into one of my ficcies. Also, do we need to talk about that episode with Kenshin and that horse. I mean like really, I couldn't believe that episode. So I just had to poke fun of it. That's why I chose the Lady Godiva time period. Kenshin riding naked on a horse instead of Kaoru was just a funny thought to me. (But I'm sure he looked soooo sexy. heh, heh, bad Gypsy-chan, bad)
Anyhoo, next chapter will feature Aoshi/Misao and Yahiko/Tsubame and a few others. The chapter after that will be the meeting with the Battousai/Rurouni. They will all meet up in that time period before heading back to the future. So, I guess I have about three more chapter to go before I'm done with this crazy ficcie. Hope you can hang in there with me.^_^
Okay, reference time. For those wanting to check out the Lady Godiva thing go to the following sites: http://www.abacom.com/~jkrause/godiva.html or here http://www.infokey.com/Domesday/Godiva.htm.
As usual, constructive reviews are welcomed as long as they are genuine and not sarcastic. Thank you for reading and being a considerate reviewer. ^_^