Disclaimer: There must be some kind of statute of limitations on how long an author can claim a work without doing anything with it. As soon as it expires, I so call dibs.

Harry did not wake up purple, as he had feared.

He was green.

He didn't know how they did it, why they did it, or what they did it with, but he was green.

Harry sighed and slipped on a robe from his trunk. Fortunately, it didn't turn green with him. He put on his glasses and walked downstairs. Remus was sitting in the dining room, where enough food to feed a small army of Weasleys sat near him. Pancakes, waffles, bacon, eggs, breakfast rolls… the list was enormous.

"Dobby thought he should be ready, just in case," Remus explained without looking up. Then, when he did, he stated, "You're remarkably green today. You weren't wandering around the old Marauder stuff, were you?"

"No," Harry replied, sitting down and taking a plate of waffles. "The Weasley twins sent me a letter."

"Reminiscent of the Marauders at our best," he said with admiration. "We've all been coloured various hues in our time… James once turned Sirius pink for a week."

"That's mean. Brilliant, but mean."

"Oh, that's not the worst of it. When Sirius was pink, Padfoot was pink. And a pink Grim strikes terror into the hearts of no one."

Harry very nearly shot pumpkin juice out of his nose from laughing so hard. And, with Harry's appetite, that would have been a lot of pumpkin juice.

Remus cleared his throat slightly. "You know Harry, I didn't just invite you to share Marauder stories and have you eat me out of house and home," he said. Harry looked guilty for a moment, but Remus rephrased what he'd said. "That is, not only to share stories and have you eat me out of house and home. I knew what to expect with your appetite."

Harry swallowed. "I thought so. Your letter said something about being the something of my something with the house blowing up."

"Oh, that was just to scare the Muggles," Moony grinned. "But Dumbledore did want you to learn some Defence before you went back to school. What with you having been instructed by two agents of Voldemort and an idiot and all."

"Er… great. When do we start?"

Remus pulled out his wand and pointed it at the table. Seeing where he was going with it, Harry grabbed as much toast as he could before Remus Banished the dishes into the kitchen. "Now."

~*~

"I trust you remember the obstacle course you had in your third year?" Moony asked once they were outside. The grounds surrounding Moony Manor were huge, and aside from a small shed Harry assumed was used for moonlight transformations, wild. It was a bit like the Burrow, but with a certain control over the overgrowth.

"Yeah…"

Remus waved his wand and a ball of light appeared in front of one of the denser parts of the plant life. It was near an opening Harry hadn't seen before. "I hope you're ready to do another."

Harry brushed the hair out his eyes with a green hand. "How long is it?" he asked.

"Depends on which path you take. This light," he said, motioning toward the floating sphere, "will follow you, so you'll be able to see whatever dangers pop up. And so I'll be able to see your progress," he added, holding up a piece of parchment. It showed the expanse of the forest, which was what the light was "looking" at.

Harry gulped and approached the opening. As soon as it could "see" Harry, the ball floated directly behind him. He took one deep breath and rushed into the forest.

At first, there was nothing but darkness, but the ball caught up with him quickly. A set of paths lie before him, which Harry assumed led to other paths, and so on.

"Hello," said… something behind him.

"What?" he responded intelligently. "Where are you? Who are you?"

"I am above you," said the voice. Harry looked up and saw a dark serpent hanging from a high branch. "And my name isssss Kate," the snake added.

"Kate?"

"It'ssss short for Bob."

Must be an adder, Harry thought. Out loud, he said, "You live in this forest?"

"Yessss," Kate replied.

"Then you wouldn't happen to know what lies in each direction, would you?" Harry asked hopefully.

"I do. On your left, there liessss a blanket of darknesssss. I would advissse againsssst going that way. The middle path leadssss to a vile sssserpent. He issss sssstupid, and will offer you little challenge. The right path issss by far the worssst. It leadssss to a… mongoosssse." If it were possible, the snake would have shivered. "Take care, young one."

Harry stared for a moment at where the snake had been and tried to piece it together. He knew that the darkness had to be a Lethifold. But why would a mongoose offer a threat?

Harry shrugged and started down the path on the right. Before he got halfway, he heard a familiar voice screaming in his head. "No… please, not Harry…"

A Dementor? Harry thought. I thought it was a mongoose!

Harry raised his wand and pointed it at his would-be captor before he could even see it. "Expecto Patronum!" he shouted.

But wait… are you afraid of a mongoose? said some part of his mind. "It's a boggart," he muttered. "Riddikulus!"

Harry wasn't fond of boggarts or Dementors, and he didn't want to chance running into any more of either. He backtracked to the first set of paths and chose the middle. After all, with the boggart out of the way, what was the danger in a snake?

As soon as he was through the path, he heard an odd sound, a bit like an amount of plants gripping each other rather quickly in a fashion that would create an impenetrable wall. Harry turned around quickly, and saw that, indeed, an amount of plants had gripped each other in such a fashion as to create an impenetrable wall.

Harry prodded the vines with his wand. "That is one impenetrable wall," he said. He then looked around and took note of what was there. "Where's this snake?" he asked no one.

So you can understand how shocked he was to receive an answer.

"I wouldn't say 'snake', Potter," said an unnaturally high voice. "Although I am a Slytherin."

"Riddle," Harry whispered. "But you're… well, not so much dead…"

"Whatever, whatever, Potter." Harry still couldn't see where the voice was coming from, and having fought Tom Riddle before, he felt he should. The light wasn't much help either, since, being behind his head, it cast a shadow in his line of sight.

"Lumos!" Harry finally cried, growing tired of being blind. The beam of light sprang forth from his wand and illuminated a tall, black haired young man, not too much unlike Harry himself.

Riddle jumped at Harry and, before Harry could stop him, stole his wand. Now Harry was once again hampered vision-wise, but it was more important that he was unarmed.

"Stupid boy," Riddle spat. "I am the most powerful wizard of a thousand lifetimes." He raised Harry's wand and leveled it at him. "Stupefy!"

Harry didn't waste time thinking. As the spell rushed toward him, he jumped straight into the air. The Stunning Spell rushed by his feet and hit the trunk of a tree, and rebounded at Riddle himself. Unprepared, he took a clear hit in the chest.

Harry leapt for his wand as it fell from Riddle's hand and grabbed it before it hit the ground. He turned quickly to face Tom and was briefly blinded by the ball of light Remus had sent with him. After blinking a few times, Harry rushed to the fallen Tom Marvolo Riddle and leveled his wand at his head. "You're finished, Tom."

Suddenly, Riddle faded away and a formerly impenetrable wall behind him became very penetrable. Harry, who wanted to get away from the forest before it changed its mind, rushed through the opening and out into fresh air. The light dissipated as soon as he was out.

"So Harry, have fun?" Remus grinned.

"Loads," Harry said sarcastically. Then he brightened. "Time for lunch?"

Did you ever want to smack yourself for not being able to write for days, and then getting a sudden burst of inspiration at the exact moment you had to go to bed?

Yeah.