A/n: Wow! You people actually liked this story! –does the happy dance-

Ron: You only got 3 reviews, though…

Zoe: YOU ALWAYS RUIN MY FUN! –grabs a frying pan and starts chasing Ron around-

Ron: AHHHHHHH! CUT TO THE CHAPTER! CUT TO THE CHAPTER!

Disclaimer (Malik Ishtar): Zoe doesn't own Harry Potter, but she does own the non-plot for this story! Oh, and she didn't own Harry Potter last chapter. Ron had distracted her with his dance that Link does in Majora's Mask so she forgot to put it in. Oh, and she doesn't Zelda either.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Delirium Chapter Two

"So, Ronnie dear, I love you. I mean, I really truly love you. I MEAN, FOR DUMBLEYDORE'S SAKE, I BUILT A DAMN SHRINE OUT OF YOUR USED BUBBLE GUM IN MY CLOSET!! Oh, wait, no, that was Helga Pataki, not me…" Hermione explained.

Just then, Harry came walking into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom wearing nothing but Harry Potter boxers, a black cape, and a headband that had dog ears on it. "I AM BATDOG! FEAR MY STENCH! BWHAHAHAHAHA!!" Harry bellowed. "What the cheese are you talking about, Ms. Frizzle?" Harry asked, referring to Hermione's hair. Hermione was sitting in a sink filled with water, while talking to Crookshanks. When Crookshanks saw Harry, he hissed and pounced on Harry's head, mistaking him for Scabbers for some odd reason.

"EEEEEYYAAAAAAAAA!!" Harry screamed, the volume of his voice going up a few hundred octaves. Ron came sauntering into the bathroom, while munching on some of Scabbers old food. Hermione looked at him. Ron shrugged, "Hey, if Scabbers ain't gonna eat it, while let it go to waste?" Hermione nodded, more than in love for Ron's voice than understanding.

Meanwhile, Harry had managed to pry Crookshanks off his head with a stink bomb. Though, it affected everyone else more than Crookshanks, as they ran out of the bathroom holding their noses. As they were running through the halls in slow motion, with smoke in the background, Draco Malfoy pointed at Hermione's butt and said in slow motion, "Ha…..Ha……Her….mio…..ne…..peed…..her…..pants…!" Then the author, and everyone else, got sick of slow motion so they weren't in it anymore.

Hermione turned around, and licked her lips then yelled, "Hey, Blondie! What chu doin' ta nite?"

"Uhh…plotting of evil ideas to kill Harry Potter even though I'm madly in love with him, and I try to hide those feelings by saying I hate him, so yeah, I'm busy tonight," Draco replied.

Everyone stared at him oddly, for he had said that whole sentence very fast and it came out unclear.

"Hmm… Draco, I'm madly in love with you," Hermione said like it was no big deal. Draco then repeated the scream Harry had released in the bathroom when Crookshanks had pounced on his head. Draco then ran off, screaming about Cheese Fairies taking over Hogwarts. Harry fell on the floor and started having a temper tantrum. "THAT STUPID BLONDIE STOLE MY YELL! WAHHHHHH! I WANT MY GODFATHER!" He whined. Ron dropped to his knees and took Harry's head in his hands. "Harry, dear, your godfather is…ME!" Harry looked at Ron, with admiration, confusion, and perhaps love in his eyes. "Ronnie…do you love me?"

"Like a brother, Not."

"Oh. ME TOO!"

Then the two started hugging. Hermione moaned, "Oh, great, another yaoi story…" She then whacked Harry and Ron upside their heads with her hair, and they moaned in pain.

"HEY! YOUR FRIGGIN' HAIR HURTS LIKE A HAMMER, WOMAN!!" Ron screamed

"Sowwy! I had to whack you out of your Yaoi-ness, or else the rating would have to be changed to Slash," Hermione explained, this time to Ron, not Crookshanks like earlier in this chapter.

"Ahhh. I see…" Ron answered. He then stared at Hermione, and his eyes shone. "Hermione…I never realized…just how frizzy your hair was!" Ron said, and he didn't explain it, because the authoress has already used the word "explained" twice in this chapter. Hermione grinned at Ron, "I'll take that as a yes."

"For what?"

"For that you love me."

"Oh. I love you, too!"

Then the two started making out, in the halls, with Ron still having Scabber's old food in his mouth, and Hermione's butt still being soaked. The snow that just appeared started sprinkling in the background, and the camera started whirling around their kiss. Then the camera got dizzy and it passed out on the floor. And then the chapter ended, with Harry still throwing his temper tantrum, and Ron and Hermione still making out in the halls. What no one knew, was, that the snow was really just Neville putting crackers through a fan and the crumbs were falling on them. Oh crap. Now everyone knows what it really was…

End. Of the chapter, not the story.

Wee! I tried making that chapter longer than the first one, and I hope it was…and I hope you liked it! Remember: Reviewing is the way to an Authoress's "Authoress's Notes" in the next chapter!