AN: Hello there ready-made friends! I have just come to collect my please and thank yous, and of course, the rest. It's been a while. This chapter is very, very, very sad, and I apologize for this. I have some other chapters written, and soon I shall post those. BTW, LoTR is a kick ass movie. See it. ^^ And guess what I got my mum for Christmas…Sense and Sensibilty. What a wonderful movie. I think Alan Rickman is awesome. Besides the fact he was chasing after Kate Winslet, of all people…^^;
Just a quick note, one of my favorite things to do online is to look at Yahoo! Movies and see how many people have starred together. Now I want to rent a shit load of movies. One, for instance, is the HBO special Rasputin because it had Alan Rickman and Ian Mckellen in it. Also, something with Winter in it, because both Sean Biggerstaff was in it with Alan Rickman. Cool, eh? Elijah Wood had partnered up w/ Robbie Coltraine in Huck Finn from Disney, and…lo and behold, for that "I found him" footage from David Copperfield w/ Daniel Radcliffe, also starred with Maggie Smith (Prof. McGonagall) and Madame Hooch (her name is Zoee Wana…something, I'm too lazy to find her last name, and her first name is spelled right. I'm just too lazy to find the key for the umlaut and the umlaut is that vowel plus "e" so…take my word, that's her name w/out the umlaut.)
PS: go and listen to the X/1999 CD (from the tv show authored by CLAMP). It is the best soundtrack ever.
Chapter Twenty-Three: The View
Emilia walked into the Great Hall. People were filing into the tables. She saw many gaps within the tables, and many tears were being shed. It had been a long night, and everyone had been effected. Emilia felt tears well up in her eyes as she heard familiar shouts of worry—where had this person gone of to? Where was this person—had they died, or worse? It reminded her of Parvati Patil, the first thought of her since she'd left the Gryffindors in the Hufflepuff Common Room.
She tried to walk to her seat, and gazed across the room tiredly as she walked. Groups of people were huddled together, not daring to let one of their members leave. She passed three Aurors talking to Dumbledore. She paused, and stood next to the older man, listening in intently.
"—He was gone before we could reach the last spot he was confirmed in," one of the Aurors was saying. "He's still on the loose."
Dumbledore's face grew weary. "I do not think he is in the castle, and I do not think he will visit so soon. Many of his number were lost."
"We found thirty seven confirmed killed Death Eaters," the Auror continued. "And—I'm sorry to announce this…"
"I know there were many students who were killed," Dumbledore said, after the silence. "Please, tell me your rough estimate."
Sadly, the Auror finished. "There was forty three students, and three teachers lost in this fight."
"Forty four," Emilia added quietly, tears threatening to overflow. Forty-four students! That's nearly an entire house. However, it was the first time that Dumbledore noticed she was there. With tears in her eyes, she tried to continue. "One of them is held by magic with Lavender Brown." She couldn't look up into his face.
Dumbledore gave her a morose look. "Emilia…"
She hung her head and walked away. Pulling up her seat, she sat next to Severus and McGonagall, who'd changed her clothes and was looking rather refreshed. Severus, on the other hand, in his dirty and ripped robes, looked very sour indeed.
"Why can't we just ship these...children...up to their dormitories where they can be miserable there? If I hear one more word about those who are dead, I think I'm going to kill myself," he muttered into his hands, which he was resting his chin on.
Emilia swallowed the lump in her throat. The ordeal was finally over. After nearly sixteen hours of terror, death and destruction, that was all Severus Snape had to say.
It made Emilia angry. After finding out the true standing of the castle, the amount of bodies they had to drag out, and having her nerves at a split end, she was feeling rather anxious and upset.
"Well, if you should think so, don't spare us the trouble of stopping you. Don't tease us by saying you'd like to kill yourself and then not," Emilia said irritably, waving her hand around and then resting her cheek on it.
Severus looked abashed, but recovered quickly and smoothly. "Ah, the good old Black wit—or at least, half of it," replied Severus snidely.
"Oh, very funny, Severus. I should like to congratulate you on a very good come back, although—"
At that moment, Dumbledore took his seat and Emilia shut up, looking down into her lap. Fighting with Severus, as fun-filled it was, wasn't prudent now with Dumbledore here. Severus leaned back in his seat and relaxed, clearly thinking he won. However, his countenance was perturbed as soon as he saw Dumbledore's face.
Dumbledore murmured something to Minerva and then stood. "Excuse me," he said, barely audible, and yet the entire school quieted down at once. All heads were turned to the front. No one dared to speak.
"As you all well know, we had a huge amount of trouble within our castle walls late last night and into much of today. To amend the rumors, I shall clear up any of your questions—I shall hold no truth back, and tell no lie.
"Lord Voldemort was here, within these walls, and so were many of his followers. They killed many of our number, including Professor Sinistra, Professor Hallows, and Professor Flitwick—the head of Ravenclaw house."
A huge gasp rushed through the room like a cold wind, and Emilia could feel the prickles on her back. Professor Flitwick was one of the three? And just last night, the small dwarf like teacher was dancing and dangling his feet sitting in the chairs at the Yule Ball.
Emilia felt tears well up in her eyes. Even though she was not close to him, hearing the loss didn't make it any easier to bear what had happened the night before. She was still tired, because her nerves were wore thin, the tears started to stain her dirty face. Burying her face in her hands, she wept silently. How—why—did this happen? So many people were dead, and many missing from their number. What was the castle to do?
"I understand the horror of the night's events," Dumbledore was saying when Emilia returned her attention to him. "And I think that the best way to overcome the challenges of loss is to let your feelings out. Please, don't hesitate to talk to one another or one of us—" he motioned to the faculty. Severus looked like the first person to have a heart to heart conversation with him would be force fed poison. "And if you feel the need to take a leave of absence, then I will allow it. However, the worst way to cope is to dwell on the feelings of remorse and anxiety, and therefore classes will only be canceled until next Wednesday. A sense of normalcy must return to this school.
"Lastly, and I must stress this again, any questions that you may have—any at all—please, ask them. The worst kind of questions are those left unasked." He paused for a second. "I am now going to put breakfast on the table, and then I would like you all to return to your dormitories." Dumbledore gave one last lingering look at his students, and sat down.
He looked wearier than ever. Emilia then saw his commitment to the school, the students and the faculty all rolled into one. He was tired both physically and mentally, like she, but even more so. It hurt her heart to see such a sight.
Food appeared on the table and despite how ravenous she was, the upset of her stomach told her that it would be most unfortunate if she were to eat. Forcing herself slowly, she took small helpings and busied herself with eating.
Emilia noticed that Severus was somber and more rueful than she'd ever seen him. As well as Minerva, who had heard the shock of Flitwick and took it quite a bit hard. She had her lips pierced so that they were whiter than snow and her hand was shaking. Clearly, she was trying not to cry.
The other teachers—what those were left of—were just as weary and morose. The school, usually buzzing with chatter, was in murmured reserved silence and Emilia immediately thought of a funeral home. It was eerie and unsettling. So, when she finished her meal, she stood and excused herself, leaving the unhappiness of the Great Hall for the revered silence of someplace else.
She walked away from the table, and walked around the castle for a while, her arms across her chest. Emilia was tired, sick and ill; the food, though it forcibly went down, was disagreeing with her.
Soon, when she had circled around and came back to the Great Hall—noticing that the castle, though perfectly replaced, showed signs of permanent destruction—and saw that it was empty. The students were walking up the stairs full of distress and sadness, and all of them were walking slowly. She stood there, watching them leave from a distance. It was very depressing. Occasionally, a girl would let out a muffled cry and then there would be a chorus of small sobs near her.
Emilia's eyes swept to the other corner. Severus had just walked out of the castle, weary, even though he still appeared young.
Emilia gasped inwardly. How could she have forgotten about their appearances? That would need to be fixed. And that was she was concerned about before all this started...
Emilia had a sudden thought. She was still, of course, curious to know how the Death Eaters managed to cover so much ground and so quickly—but what if they were in the castle before? What if—what if the "bubble" was their entrance in, and by popping it set up their access as a distraction? Because, most certainly, it was distracting enough to create a situation to help their infiltration.
She was enlightened with this, and immediately made a mental note of it to herself. She would have to mention it to someone and have it looked at. However, putting her hands in her pockets, she walked over to Severus and stood next to him silently. "Aren't you tired yet?"
"No, I love staying awake this long," he said irritably. "One of my more favorite things to do."
"Geez-us!" Emilia said, exasperated. "Fine, forget it." She was tired, too, and way to tired to give a shit to what Severus was saying. She needed some sleep and she needed some alone time.
She turned on her heel to walk away and go upstairs. Something caught her wrist though. Turning around, she saw Severus shaking his head. "God, you are so sensitive," he said, making a sound under his tongue this indicated his resentment and annoyance. "You'd think you'd be used to this by now." He let go of her wrist.
Emilia looked at him. "I'm too fucking tired, Severus." She paused. Tears started to well in her eyes. She wiped her grimy face with the back of her hands, trying to mask the tears. Without warning, they blurred her vision. She could understand why, but she couldn't get them to stop. "Um," she said, her throat aching from trying to stop crying, "I...I need some sleep."
Severus gave her a curious look. He opened his mouth to say something but Emilia interrupted him.
"I'm sorry, Severus, I just need to go," she said, turning around and running up the stairs. It bothered her that she could be so vulnerable and so...weak...like that. Of course, she couldn't ever forgive herself if she ever cried in front of Severus, breaking down like that. In a blur, she ran upstairs to her room. To sleep, never to wake—at least, for a while.
~!-------!~
Everyone is like: dear god, she's gonna thank people.
Yes, I am. This is the first time I've decided to do this, and I want to apologize to those of you that I have to unfortunately leave out because there are too many people to thank.
But, starting from reviewer 41 and up, here are my replies…
MaeNoelle/the Muses: Thank you soo much for reading my story. I really love your reviews. And the emails. My buddy! And your story is kick ass. Shameless promoting: read her story too, "Messing with History." And good thing I can write war like scenes. Because I sure as hell am having problems with the g-d romance.
Nataly Ravenlock: you're one of my best buds…^^ My special someone. And yet somehow we manage to do an OC/Snape story completely random and not even consulting each other. My, how small the world is. Thank you for reviewing, though they could be a little more insightful, Nataly…lol. Just kidding. And plus, you've helped me to develop what little sense of Alan Rickman-love we share. Ah…Colonel Brandon…
Green Opus: Thank you for reading. And I find that a good story needs a sit through. Besides, what I write is…truly…not planned. Like Emilia's father's death? Hey, that was totally out of no where. But the urge to add lyrics is rising. I hate when people do that though…or add entire songs…le grrr…but I don't know if what I write is inspiring, but thank you for your comment (blushes). Now I feel all flattered…
Sharkbait: I do thank the Muses for sending you to me. And thank you for your…energetic…review. I hope it's not every few paragraphs. I try to usually filter it out. But I apologize. In fact, it took me sixteen re-reads to find that the first paragraph had mistakes! Besides, I don't have a beta (that's an excuse) but usually I'm anally retentive of the mistakes. Oh well.
Vespertilios-Flower: I do try to update often, but I carry a lot of hard courses in school that require my attention (like honors English, AP Chem and AP American History) so if I do not update, it's because I have no time. And I really don't. Plus, my computer was out of use over x-mas break, due to dad playing w/ the bios chips. But I will try to update often. Try to get more people to review! Then I might update more.
A Reviewer: Thank you for your kind update. Sometimes they do get mushy (like one of the ones I just read…^^;) but I like him bastardly. So he is. And Emilia is not one to be "flimpsy" either. They just bounce off each other nicely. But in the coming-up chapter 25, tell me if it got mushy. I tried not to make it that way.
And they you go! 10 reviewers all replied! And please, REVIEW FOR THE LOVE OF SNAPE!
~thank you~
Kary