A/n: Lalala! I am back! FEAR ME!

Ron: AHHHH! ZOMBIE!! *hides behind Harry* Save me, mummy!

Harry: o_O *puts on Redneck accent* Girl, what chu be talkin' 'bout? I ain' yo' Mum!

Zoe: Yeah…well, anyway, SORRY! I did so not mean to forget about this story…I've been working on other stories…

Yugi: Yeah, sure, you haven't updated in over a month…

Zoe: Yugi?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! BACK TO YOUR OWN STORY, WOMAN! *starts pushing him out*

Yugi: But—But—which story do I go into?

Zoe: YOU FIGURE IT OUT, BLONDIE! *shoves him in a random one*

Hermione: Gee, you sure are nice to your favorite characters…

Zoe: Oh, shut-up, Mr. Smarty-pants! Well, anyway, I'd like to say thank you to all my wonderful reviewers! I LOVE YOU GUYS!! And Selenee, thanks for that name…I think I'm going to create the s/n "XD Cracker Crumbs XD" 'cause I feel like makin' a new one…and also, thanks to Dude who threatened me! Reviews like that make me want to update sooner! ^_^

Ron: You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell! *turns around to leave but crashes into a wall* x_x

Disclaimer (Again, it's Malik Ishtar): Zoe doesn't own nothin' in this here story, and if you think o' suein' her, then I wish you luck, for all you'lls get is some o' that there lint 'n all…

Chapter 3 – "With some wine"

"Mm…tha's wha' I'm talkin' 'bout…" Hermione mumbled in her sleep.

"MR. SMARTY-PANTS-LADY! BATDOG COMMANDS YOU TO WAKE UP, PEASANT!!"

"Woof!"

Hermione rolled out of bed and hit her head on the floor. She looked up and was surprised to see Harry and Ron standing over her. Harry was still in his outfit from last chapter, and Ron was wearing a dog suit. (If you've seen Yu-Gi-Oh!, it's the dog's outfit Joey wears in the Dungeon Dice Monsters episodes)

"AHHHHH! THERE'S A BOY IN MY ROOM!!"

Harry looked around rapidly and jumped onto Hermione's nightstand, squishing poor Crookshanks in the process. "GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY!!"

Ron began to bark at all the excitement in the room, and ran around in circles. Crookshanks crawled out from under Harry and went to…somewhere that is beyond my powers to detect where he is.

"THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!"

"Percy! WHY ARE ALL THE BOYS COMING INTO THE GIRLS' DORMOTORIES?!"

Harry ran over to Percy and held some meat in front of his face

"Who's a good doggy? Fetch, boy! [1]" He threw it out the window, and Percy chased after it barking all the way.

"Like brother, like older brother…" Hermione mumbled. Ron looked up from chewing on some girl's slipper and cocked his head at Hermione. Ra, he'll never understand women…

"AIIIIYEEEE!! THOSE ARE MY GOOD SLIPPERS, YOU WANNA-BE DOG!!"

Ron whimpered and ran out of the room with an artificial tail in between his legs.

Harry, again, fell on the floor and started having a temper tantrum. "DON'T STEAL MY SCREEEEEEEAM!!"

Hermione finally caught on to what was happening, and that her make-out-spree with Ron was just a dream…or a horrible nightmare to some.

"NOOOOOOO!! MY LIFE NOW HAS NO MEANING TO IT!! Hey, look, a nickel!" She suddenly forgot all her problems as she spotted a nickel and picked it up and began to shine it. "Ooo…prettyful…"

"Silly wanna-be-girl, the meaning of life is 42!" Harry corrected Hermione.

"But…I thought the meaning of life was to kill Peggy-Jane?"

"No, that's just the American dream, dear…"

"Oh."

"Yeah…don't question my authority, or else….ELSE!" Harry cackled since he thought he left an empty threat, which didn't bother Hermione at all as she started crying at not being informed of the meaning of life…damn American Dream getting her confused with the meaning of life…

* * *

"Lalala…oh yeah, I'm a pretty lady…Who's a pretty lady?! Harry's a pretty lady! Oh, yes he is!" Harry cooed at his reflection in the mirror as he applied firecracker red lipstick to his…well, lips.

"Oh, Harry, have you seen my dog's outfit I wore for Halloween? I can't find it anywhe—Hey! Is that the new lipstick color from the Crossdressing for Men magazine?" Neville questioned as he entered the room.

"Oh, yes, dear it is! I just snagged this copy and lipstick from Seamus! What a great chap he is…"

"Oh! Might I try it, Harry? Might I?"

"Oh, God, you sound like Mary from The Secret Garden…so don't spoke like that. It ain't soundin' right."

Neville bowed his head. "Yessir."

"Don't call me sir, I apply lipstick fo' a livin'."

Neville squeaked another 'Yessir!' and ran out of the room. Harry fumed and stood up and threw his lipstick down.

"Damnit! How many times have I told that little girl not to squeak and run outta the room like Peggy-Jane himself is chasing him?! God, I gotta go smack some sense into that whippersnapper…" And he ran out of the room, passed Hermione who was watching Pokémon, passed Ron who was licking his aritifical tail clean, and took off to find Neville.

End. Duh.

[1] – If you've seen Pocahontas, you know how the dog's name is Percy and Wiggins (*giggles uncontrollably* Wiggins is my favorite character! ^^) holds some steak in front of Percy's face and says "Percy good doggy! Fetch, boy!" during once scene…and so, that's where I got the idea. SO LAUGH! IT T'WAS A FUNNY PART!

A/n: Is it me or are most of my chaplets really really short? Ugh…I pwomise, next chapter shall be much longer! So, anyway, READ AND REVIEW! Please! Oh yeah, and about Ron's dog outfit, if you haven't seen Yu-Gi-Oh! (And shame on you if you haven't, you naughty, naughty Peggy) then leave your e-mail address in a review, and I'll send you a piclet of the outfit! It's really funny, and believe me, it'll make this chapter a lot more funnier if you knew how it looked! Also, it's going to be making quite a few more appearances in future chapters…hint hint. Anyway, ja ne for now! ^_~