AN: Welcome to the next rendition (sp?) of Black Prospects. I apoligize
for any spelling errors, due to the fact that apparently, the word I am
using on Windows XP is like, spelling challenged or something. Anyhoos,
um, YES YES YES the book IS FINALLY COMING OUT in JUNE 21! YAY! So, like,
I'm all heppy and such. Heppy, being from Robin Hood Men in Tights.
Anyway, some recommendations: go see Chicago, that is an awesome movie.
DON'T SEE QUILLS. You will fear for your mortal life. And forever be the
image of Michael Caine be etched into your memory.OH dear god.and Donnie
Darco is an awesome movie. Makes ya think. My Fair Lady is the best movie
out there but much more fun to read the script. Um, that's it for right
now. GO AND LISTEN TO THE PRODUCERS.Josie, you know what I be talking
about. The Producers.ahh, keep it gay, Nathan Lane, keep it gay. And what
the hell, here are random disclosures: I don't own it. Lala. Just the
plot, which, if I ever decide to have one, I will own that. And Emilia.
Who, just as a reminder, looks like Evie from the Mummy. But I don't own
Harry Potter.
PS: GUESS WHO GOT HARRY POTTER BED SHEETS? Damn straight, I did.
CHAPTER TITLE: It is stupid, yes I know, because the fact I nabbed the words from rauchy housewife novels tells me so.
Chapter Twenty-Four: The Rose of Pursuit
It took many hours of sleep for the ordeal to be even conquered. Meals were spasmodic for the rest of the vacation, and there were constant sob fits in the hall that made Emilia feel like she ought to cry along with them. Suppressing all the emotions did work over the years but never did she ever expect such a terrible tribulation to occur at Hogwarts.
She hardly saw Severus at all, except when passing by to pick up a bite to eat in the Great Hall. Emilia felt that the only person who could ever understand her was him, after she had realized a great deal about him over the course of the night.
When she walked into her room carrying a piece of toast and a cup of tea one morning, Emilia stood by the door and looked into her room with a revelation-istic feeling. She set her cup down on the table and finished eating the toast. Her room was immaculate, and showed no sign of a living person in there. She felt very lonely all of a sudden, because she realized how very cold and non-existent she really was.
Last weekend showed her that she really did need people to survive, and that she couldn't make it on her own. Somehow, before she came here, it would have made her resolve to be more self-sufficient, like she had been for the last ten years. She learned how to do this rather easily, seeing as both her parents had been gone since she'd graduated. Emilia managed to make enough money to support her though the last couple of years, since she stopped being a tutor and a governess. She never got close to anyone, for fear that they'd die or be taken away-much like her own parents. But, though she went throughout her years traveling abroad, learning a couple languages fluently, she still found the loneliness comforting, something dependable.
Ever since the school year had started, she'd been bickering endlessly with Severus Snape, a man of which she saw a sense of anger and loneliness, much like her own situation. Last night, if anything, had proven this true.
Because Severus had once been a Death Eater, he had a mark on him that no amount of anything could ever rinse off or wash away. It was a mark of death; a mark of once was and hopefully would never be. Emilia saw this as a sign of strength-she knew all about the Death Eater initiation- but Severus obviously saw this as a sign of weakness, that he could not fight them.
She could sympathize with this. When she was sixteen, and her father had yet to be captured, she went home for the holidays and was asked if she wanted to meet Voldemort. Her father's face was so inviting, so trustful, that she couldn't say no. Besides, it was before Voldemort had risen, and she did not know quite what to expect. When she had met him, he did not look the way he did then. He was almost human, and he was very cunning, sharp, and charming. He was always looking for women to initiate. Though Emilia refused him, her father did not have too much of a problem. She always loved him for that. He never pressed her to join.
And she saw the same thing in Severus. Although she did not know the circumstances around his membership, she could automatically figure that Severus chose to be in it, and then changed his mind for some reason halfway though. Emilia wished her father had switched halfway through. But instead, he kept it up and was captured at a Muggle raid. Ever since his first capture, he had been in and out of Azkaban. Luckily, he was very wealthy and prestigious that no one dared say anything poorly about him. Despite all this, apparently, she was a free for all. Especially since the last time he was caught.
But Voldemort, though she'd met him only once and then again last night, was something that she almost feared more than anything else. Emilia was tired and sick by then of trying to save the world, the school, the people...she was not ready at all for what then happened. She was slightly glad, for once in her life, that Severus gave her an excuse to be a coward.
"We could have killed him!" she had said fretfully. He did not think so. Certainly, he knew better, but he had helped Voldemort unconsciously to escape. He could do that to some other school, and kill more people, all because Severus didn't think they could kill him. Emilia was more than willing to risk her life to prove different. She would have died to save this school and kill Voldemort, rather than save her life cowardly and let him live.
Besides that, his attitude, his take-charge demeanor and his dark, brooding, unknown side was unsurpassably scary. Severus had a domineering ability that she found intriguing but he himself, like she, was so cold and distant. She never could guess what he was going to do.
Emilia sat down at her table, and buried her head in her hands. She really was lonely. She could have talked to Minerva, but she was gone, talking to the families as the Deputy Headmistress. Emilia could have talked to Severus, but to be perfectly honest, every time she thought of him she couldn't help thinking about what had happened. Even though they did escape instead of fighting Voldemort, she still admired him.
She admired him because Emilia saw that he saved their lives, and possibly many more. Emilia knew that Severus was slightly a kinship to her, and that she shouldn't-wouldn't is more like it-let him go. For the first time that year, she wanted to be more to him than a casual bickering acquaintance, or at least not be bothered by such.
It was comforting then, at least. She took a sip from her tea, which was warm but just barely. Drinking it all in one sip, she set the cup down and sighed. She needed to get out of this depressed and sad state. She needed to do something.
Finally, realizing there was nothing better to do, Emilia plucked up the courage and walked herself down to the dungeons where his office was and knocked cautiously on the door three times. There was no answer from inside.
"Must not be here," she said out loud, and turned to walk away. She saw that Severus was standing behind her.
"Yes?" he said. "Do you always talk to yourself out loud?"
"Of course," she replied stoutly. "It's always fun-especially when I argue with myself." The sarcasm wasn't lost on him; he gave her a withering look.
"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," Severus said, taking out a ring of keys from the inside of his robes. Picking out a huge gold key, he stuck it in the door and opened it. "Well, what do you want to talk to me about?"
"Oh, just to talk. I was feeling a bit lonely and I was looking for some company to bicker with. Looks like I found it," Emilia replied, following Severus into the room.
She passed by a bookshelf with a lot of huge, heavy books inside. But that is not what she first noticed. Because the light in the room was dimmer around the glass, she caught her reflection. She looked at her reflection, and gasped.
"What?" Severus said, moving things around on his desk.
She couldn't believe it. "Oh my god!" she cried out, touched her face. She looked like her old self again-or at least, close to it! Nearly back to the good old twenty-seven! Emilia guestimated at about twenty-four. She could drink! She took a quick look at Severus, who still-though Emilia grinned inside somewhere, she knew-looked the same...just a little older.
"What are you going on about?" he said irritably, shuffling papers from behind his desk. "If you don't care to tell, then please tell me what you wanted and leave." Severus sighed pointedly, looking up at her in mid shuffle.
She smiled at him. "I'm back to me! Good old me-or at least, pretty damn close! This is the best thing that has happened to me since...well...I don't know when. It's been shitty the last couple of days, anything seems better than before, you know? It's just..." she paused, and looked intently at his face. He wore a shocked expression and he was almost angry...or something. Emilia couldn't put the expression into words. "What's the matter?" she asked.
"Nothing," Severus said, looking down into his papers and reshuffling them slowly, moving things around on his desk.
She turned herself completely around. "Severus?" she asked cautiously. She walked to the front of his desk, and looked intently at him. Emilia resisted a sigh of contempt. He was starting to anger her.
Severus didn't answer. Emilia rolled her eyes and took in a deep breath. The thought about him being a Death Eater entered her mind. She was suddenly curious and decided to ask him, on impulse. No better time than now. "There was something I did wish to ask you," she said. "It's about something that I almost did myself."
"What?" he said.
"Can we sit down?" she asked. He motioned to the couch and the chairs near the fireplace. Severus pointed his wand at the fireplace and immediately a roaring fire leapt to life.
Walking out from behind his desk, he sat down on the green upholstered chair and looked up expectantly at her. Emilia walked carefully to the couch and sat nearest him. Emilia knew she would regret asking him this, but she needed to know.
"Why did you join the Death Eaters and then quit?" she blurted out. Emilia was never one for subtleties. She folded her hands in her lap, and glanced at him.
He let out a loud sigh. "I always knew in the back of my mind that you would want to ask me this," Severus said. He didn't sound angry. Emilia breathed a little easier. "And I always thought I would be ready, but I'm not, and I don't know if I would want to mention anything to you."
Emilia furrowed her brow. "It's not like I would tell anyone," she protested.
Severus held up his hand. "No, I would never think that. Admist your vein looks, your incompetence and your search for the answers to life, I doubt you'd ever break the trust of anyone," said Severus sarcastically.
"I don't know whether to be flattered or angry," replied Emilia, narrowing her eyes. "And, it's not good etiquette to use your entire vocabulary in one sentence."
"I'll keep that in mind," he said, settling back into his chair. "Anyway, I don't know where to begin. And what do you mean that you yourself almost did? Certainly, you didn't seriously consider becoming a Death Eater?"
"I didn't know what I was getting into. My father asked me to see this lord, Voldemort, and I couldn't say no. It was before that he had risen, and I didn't know what to expect." She paused.
Severus looked at her expectantly. She shifted uncomfortably. "What? I didn't join, end of story. My dad shut up about it, and didn't ask me about it ever again. To which I am thankful," she added.
He gave her a grim smile. "Wish my story was so easy to tell," he said.
"I can only give guesses from my view," Emilia offered. "I am guessing Lucius Malfoy?"
Raising the corner of his lips in a small smirk, he said, "Good guess." Then he rested his hands across the arms of the chair. "Though, I must admit, it was not simply all him. It was partially me."
Emilia looked at him intensely. "When I turned seventeen, Voldemort was at his height. Fully out in the open, and ready to take control of the government through any means necessary. Lucius Malfoy sought me out, and asked if I wanted to taste power and be relinquished from the daily grinds of my new job, which was a researcher for the Ministry. I agreed, though reluctantly-Lucius was never one to be denied," he said bitterly. "However, after I was initiated, I had to do something that I never care to repeat and nor will I; then afterwards, I felt so poorly about it..." Severus started to get slightly angry, "that I switched to the other side, working for Dumbledore. In fact, he saved me when I was brought to trial, but because I had given myself in before then, I could not be tried properly. Eventually, Voldemort fell and I was brought to trial again, and was let off." He sighed.
Emilia could sense that he was tense and angry, so she was quiet for a moment. She took in everything he said. He almost had as many skeletons in his closet as she.
"What was it you had to do?" Emilia asked quietly.
"Excuse me?" Severus said, looking up at her.
"What was it that you had to do?" she repeated.
Severus gave her a hard look, then his expression softened. "I do trust you, Emilia, but I can't tell anyone, let alone let myself believe it happened."
Emilia nodded. "We all have secrets like that." Some of us have too many, she thought.
Severus looked at her suddenly. "What?" he said, surprised. "What secrets could you harbor in that small mind of yours?"
Emilia sighed exasperatedly. "I knew that this wouldn't last," said she, though it was in a heavy sigh. Slapping her knees, she stood. "What a wonderful conversation I've had with you Severus, but I really ought to be going. Nice to know it didn't kill you to carry on a conversation once in your lifetime."
"And maybe," he said, also standing, "perhaps you could pick a less sensitive subject to talk about. There is nothing I love more than discussing the horrors of the past." "I was just curious," she said, clenching her fists. "Besides, you would have had to explain sooner or later. This is not something that you can keep hidden for a long time."
"It worked for years, Emilia," he replied shortly. "You and Dumbledore are the only ones that I know of that know I am a Death Eater that haven't been ones yourself. And of course, the Ministry, but they don't like to dwell on those subjects either."
"Like a good government," she added sarcastically. Emilia started to walk over to the door then stopped. She turned around slowly, and lifted her head up. "Why are you so damn disagreeable?"
"I don't know," he said angrily. "I find it a wonderful talent I like to exercise often."
She gave him a withering look and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "Funny, Severus."
Severus walked over to her with a sweeping motion. "I thought it was," he replied. "Aren't you leaving?"
"Sure," Emilia said. "Happy Christmas." She was debating whether or not to do what she was going to do, but she did it anyway. Reaching inside her robes, she extracted a small package and handed it to him. Emilia smiled, and walked out the door.
Emilia remembered when she got that a couple of weeks ago. She'd almost forgotten to give it to him. It was a small pocket watch, in which she had fixed after she found it among her things. She thought it was the perfect gift for him. It was just personal enough. Engraved on the back was his name, of course, but she didn't think he would put too much stock into it.
She had meant to hand it to him that night-after the party, of course-but something else got in her way (what else but the Death Eaters-how convenient). Since Dumbledore declared that because of the problems of last week that today would be celebrated Christmas, though the usually happy season was marked with funeral plans.
Earlier that morning, she retrieved her robes from the Gryffindor dormitories and returned Potter's; she'd had it fixed, mended, and cleaned. As she had bent down to pick up the silky gold robe, the small package had slipped out and she stared at it curiously. Then she remembered that she had delivered Minerva's present and Dumbledore's through the Owl Post, but had forgotten Severus's in her room and wanted to make sure she'd get it delivered that night. Too bad that it turned out the way it did.
So, she decided that the next time she saw him, she'd hand it to him. Emilia, though always full of pride and sarcasm, was not one to let someone be uninvited. It would have been rude not to give Severus a gift just because he's an ass.
Emilia hoped that he'd at least like it. It did take a great deal of thought to figure out what to get him. Nothing tacky, yet something unexpected. She hoped that he would like it. After all, the prick didn't even get her anything.
She went back up into her room and saw a small bundle of gifts at the food of her bed. Post had been late due to the unfortunate circumstances of last night and so therefore Post was sent out after lunch, at the earliest. She was pleased to see any pile at all. She hadn't had a semi- real Christmas since she was a governess.
She went to her bed and sat down, about ready to open all her lovely gifts when there was a tapping at her window. She looked over and saw it was Sagittarius, her owl, tapping his beak on the pane. "You stupid bird," she said, getting up to let him in, "sometimes I ought to-" she was interrupted by a loud fluttering of wings as the large tawny wanted to get in out of the cold.
He flew in importantly, and landed on her bed, ruffling his feathers and holding out his leg for the letter to be taken off. "I haven't anything for you to eat or drink," she said, putting a hand on her hip and giving a languishing look to her bird. "You should have shown up for lunch." Then she laughed. "Come here, Sagittarius, it's been such a long time since I seen you!" She scooped the bird on her arm and gave him a small hug. He hooted happily, knowing that his master was just joking with him. Emilia always did this with Sagittarius-it got her bird to do whatever she needed him to do and well.
"Well, what have we here?" she said, untying the letter on the leg. "A Christmas card?"
Sagittarius hooted apprehensively. "I know you want something to eat, so let me see what this is and then I'll see what I can scrape up for you." She took the envelope and sat down on the bed. She pried the top off and looked inside.
It was a letter from Dumbledore, requesting a staff holiday party at about seven tonight. Dumbledore hinted that the apparel ought to be Muggle clothing. Emilia sighed. She thought it would have been better if Voldemort had not attacked the building. It was slightly depressing going to a party after such a dilemma, even if it were a week later. Emilia resolved to go anyway.
Abandoning the pile of the gifts on the bed and took her owl downstairs to where she thought she could find some food for her owl. "Come on, pip up Sagittarius. Once I find the Kitchen it'll be easy to get you some food and then I can return to open my gifts you so rudely interrupted me opening."
"You do talk to yourself," said a voice behind her. Emilia turned around and saw that it was Severus.
"No, I was talking to my owl, because I'm going to get him food," Emilia replied.
"Convenient I ran into you," he started. "I was going to say thank you for the watch." Severus looked uncomfortable.
"You're welcome," she replied. "I thought you might like it. It's a priceless gift, and I thought that those were the gifts you'd enjoy more. Though, that mostly goes for me. Maybe you like tacky gifts, I don't know."
"Don't insult me," Severus retorted. "And I am still surprised that you got me anything at all."
"Don't insult me," she replied. "I may be a bitch, but I'm not rude." She smiled at him. "If you don't mind, I want to feed my owl and then open my gifts. That's the best part of Christmas."
"Certainly," Severus said, albeit sarcastically.
"Happy Christmas," she said happily. Emilia turned around and walked away. She had a small smile on her face. He had liked his gift.
Emilia opened the door to her room, and saw the still wrapped presents on her bed. "Yay, I can open them now," she said out loud, and jumped onto the bed. Though it may be a childish thought, she couldn't help but be ecstatic for presents. Her birthday, falling in April, was much like this as well. Not so much the presents, of course, but the whole specialty of the occasion.
Emilia picked up the first box wrapped in gold, and saw that it was from Minerva. She opened it up eagerly and saw that it was a blue closed box. She pulled open the sides and saw that it was a real dress. Emilia had never owned anything but robes, and the fanciest thing was a dress robe. But a real dress. She pulled it out and walked over to the mirror and held it up to her black robes.
The dress was a deep, luscious red that looked very form fitting. It came up on side and had a ruffle in a slant on the bottom. The dress was sleeveless with thin spaghetti straps. The chest had a folded-over design, exposing her neck, and it only accented the dress's looks. Emilia smiled.
She looked down on the floor and picked up the card that was with the dress. "I thought you may have liked this," she read aloud, "and I say no doubt that Severus would. Happy Christmas, Emilia."
She stuck her tongue out at the card. "Severus would like this indeed," she said back to the card. "Harumph." Emilia went into the bathroom and tried the dress on. Walking out, she caught herself in the mirror. She looked really good in the dress. It was just the right size, and didn't flaunt anything too uncomfortable. Emilia really liked the material as well. It was a smooth hybrid of cotton and silk. She grinned at her reflection. Now she needed some shoes to go with it.
Sitting down on the bed, Emilia decided that she'd open the rest of her gifts wearing the dress. She took up the next gift, which was something from Dumbledore. Opening it up happily, she pulled out a book named Unnerving Farewells. "Hmm," she said, flipping the book over and looked at the back. She opened the front cover and looked at the first page. "Good choice, Dumbledore," she murmured to herself, smiling. Emilia set the book down and picked up the card that fell out of the front cover.
"To Emilia," she read out loud, "who is more like a granddaughter I never had. May all the best happen to you after these dreary times, and do not be afraid to fall. Happy Christmas." Emilia choked back tears. "Dumbledore..." she said to the card.
She set the paper into the cover again and placed the book on her nightstand. Then she turned to the next present, which was a small, very tightly wrapped gift. Emilia dug her nails into the side and pried off the silver wrapping. The inside a blue velvety box. Curious, Emilia tilted her head and opened it slowly. Inside there was necklace, a delicate silver chain attached to a small charm. The charm was a heart curved at the end with a hanging diamond in the middle. A small card had popped out, and she picked it up slowly.
"Emilia," the card read. "I don't know how much you are into jewelry, but when I saw this in Hogsmeade when you were sick, I thought this would make you happy. God only knows, you're too miserable most of the time-" Emilia smiled. It was from Severus. "What a way to break the mood, Sev," she said to herself, then continued to read. "-And I knew your birthday was in April (somehow Dumbledore found this prudent to tell us before we met you, something of an ice breaker). Don't put too much stock into it-" Emilia felt tears sting the corner of her eyes, "-and Happy Christmas."
Her hand started to shake as she held the card. "Oh you stupid man," she said. "I'm supposed to hate you!" Emilia set the card down and picked up the open box. She took it out and held it up to the light, and a rainbow splashed on the wall. It's gorgeous, though, Severus. You certainly picked the right one.
She put it on, and walked over to the mirror. The necklace complimented the dress quite nicely. "Why couldn't you have gotten me a book!" she said angrily to the mirror.
"Who should have gotten you a book?" a voice said as the door to her room opened. Emilia blushed and turned around.
"Don't scare me like that, Minerva!" she said, clutching her chest.
"Sorry. But I like the dress," she said smiling. "I didn't think it would look so decent on you. Damn."
Emilia gave her a half smile. "Yeah, lucky me. Oh, and thank you for the dress!"
"And thank you for mine," she said, laughing. "We really ought to take the holidays more seriously."
"But then it's no fun," she said. She had gotten Minerva a blue spin- swing dress. It would complement Minerva's thin stature. "So, back from hell already?"
"Sure," she said listlessly, sitting at the table. "Ugh, I hate doing this."
"Feeling better?" she said, walking over to her, and placing a hand on her shoulder.
"A little. Too tired to care..." Minerva replied, rubbing her eyes. "Happy Christmas, by the way."
"Yes, Happy Christmas," she said, drifting off, and walked over to her bed. Emilia picked up the papers and threw it away. Then she noticed the last box on the bed.
"What's this?" Emilia said, opening the box. It was her shoes from yesterday, from the corridor.
She started to laugh. "What's so funny?" Minerva asked.
"Nothing," she said, happily, picking up a shoe and holding it up, laughing loudly now. "Nothing at all..."
~!--------------------!~ AND the thank yous...
The TONY goes to.
(Tony Tony Tony Tony Tony.ahhh! He's having a stroke! WHAT?! Of genius!)
millee: um, she's not a parselmouth, and the thing is not a snake. Goodness, that might have been confusing. Well, heads up people, Severus wasn't paying hard enough attention to what the fuck was going on. Typical guy. And thank you for reviewing! About Flitwick: I'm sorry, but I needed someone.major but not a potential main character. Believe me, if Trelawney wasn't going to appear in the next chapter, I'd have killed her off.
Vespertilios-Flower: Thank you, I know I updated.and I am lazy. But I'll try not to be.
Josie: yeah, yeah, thank you for reading finally. Anyway, DON'T VOTE REPUBLICAN. But that gave me a clue who the hell you were.lol. How was Chem lab on Friday? Sorry, I needed a mental health day.
The Muses: to the most talented writer of which I am hooked to your story (and am planning to review after this: A NEW CHAPTER!) thank you for updating. And I'm planning to send you emails for this ^^ Romance is eventual. And read her story. Lol, nothing like shameless promoting.
Thank you to all who reviewed, I love you all!
Kary
CHAPTER TITLE: It is stupid, yes I know, because the fact I nabbed the words from rauchy housewife novels tells me so.
Chapter Twenty-Four: The Rose of Pursuit
It took many hours of sleep for the ordeal to be even conquered. Meals were spasmodic for the rest of the vacation, and there were constant sob fits in the hall that made Emilia feel like she ought to cry along with them. Suppressing all the emotions did work over the years but never did she ever expect such a terrible tribulation to occur at Hogwarts.
She hardly saw Severus at all, except when passing by to pick up a bite to eat in the Great Hall. Emilia felt that the only person who could ever understand her was him, after she had realized a great deal about him over the course of the night.
When she walked into her room carrying a piece of toast and a cup of tea one morning, Emilia stood by the door and looked into her room with a revelation-istic feeling. She set her cup down on the table and finished eating the toast. Her room was immaculate, and showed no sign of a living person in there. She felt very lonely all of a sudden, because she realized how very cold and non-existent she really was.
Last weekend showed her that she really did need people to survive, and that she couldn't make it on her own. Somehow, before she came here, it would have made her resolve to be more self-sufficient, like she had been for the last ten years. She learned how to do this rather easily, seeing as both her parents had been gone since she'd graduated. Emilia managed to make enough money to support her though the last couple of years, since she stopped being a tutor and a governess. She never got close to anyone, for fear that they'd die or be taken away-much like her own parents. But, though she went throughout her years traveling abroad, learning a couple languages fluently, she still found the loneliness comforting, something dependable.
Ever since the school year had started, she'd been bickering endlessly with Severus Snape, a man of which she saw a sense of anger and loneliness, much like her own situation. Last night, if anything, had proven this true.
Because Severus had once been a Death Eater, he had a mark on him that no amount of anything could ever rinse off or wash away. It was a mark of death; a mark of once was and hopefully would never be. Emilia saw this as a sign of strength-she knew all about the Death Eater initiation- but Severus obviously saw this as a sign of weakness, that he could not fight them.
She could sympathize with this. When she was sixteen, and her father had yet to be captured, she went home for the holidays and was asked if she wanted to meet Voldemort. Her father's face was so inviting, so trustful, that she couldn't say no. Besides, it was before Voldemort had risen, and she did not know quite what to expect. When she had met him, he did not look the way he did then. He was almost human, and he was very cunning, sharp, and charming. He was always looking for women to initiate. Though Emilia refused him, her father did not have too much of a problem. She always loved him for that. He never pressed her to join.
And she saw the same thing in Severus. Although she did not know the circumstances around his membership, she could automatically figure that Severus chose to be in it, and then changed his mind for some reason halfway though. Emilia wished her father had switched halfway through. But instead, he kept it up and was captured at a Muggle raid. Ever since his first capture, he had been in and out of Azkaban. Luckily, he was very wealthy and prestigious that no one dared say anything poorly about him. Despite all this, apparently, she was a free for all. Especially since the last time he was caught.
But Voldemort, though she'd met him only once and then again last night, was something that she almost feared more than anything else. Emilia was tired and sick by then of trying to save the world, the school, the people...she was not ready at all for what then happened. She was slightly glad, for once in her life, that Severus gave her an excuse to be a coward.
"We could have killed him!" she had said fretfully. He did not think so. Certainly, he knew better, but he had helped Voldemort unconsciously to escape. He could do that to some other school, and kill more people, all because Severus didn't think they could kill him. Emilia was more than willing to risk her life to prove different. She would have died to save this school and kill Voldemort, rather than save her life cowardly and let him live.
Besides that, his attitude, his take-charge demeanor and his dark, brooding, unknown side was unsurpassably scary. Severus had a domineering ability that she found intriguing but he himself, like she, was so cold and distant. She never could guess what he was going to do.
Emilia sat down at her table, and buried her head in her hands. She really was lonely. She could have talked to Minerva, but she was gone, talking to the families as the Deputy Headmistress. Emilia could have talked to Severus, but to be perfectly honest, every time she thought of him she couldn't help thinking about what had happened. Even though they did escape instead of fighting Voldemort, she still admired him.
She admired him because Emilia saw that he saved their lives, and possibly many more. Emilia knew that Severus was slightly a kinship to her, and that she shouldn't-wouldn't is more like it-let him go. For the first time that year, she wanted to be more to him than a casual bickering acquaintance, or at least not be bothered by such.
It was comforting then, at least. She took a sip from her tea, which was warm but just barely. Drinking it all in one sip, she set the cup down and sighed. She needed to get out of this depressed and sad state. She needed to do something.
Finally, realizing there was nothing better to do, Emilia plucked up the courage and walked herself down to the dungeons where his office was and knocked cautiously on the door three times. There was no answer from inside.
"Must not be here," she said out loud, and turned to walk away. She saw that Severus was standing behind her.
"Yes?" he said. "Do you always talk to yourself out loud?"
"Of course," she replied stoutly. "It's always fun-especially when I argue with myself." The sarcasm wasn't lost on him; he gave her a withering look.
"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," Severus said, taking out a ring of keys from the inside of his robes. Picking out a huge gold key, he stuck it in the door and opened it. "Well, what do you want to talk to me about?"
"Oh, just to talk. I was feeling a bit lonely and I was looking for some company to bicker with. Looks like I found it," Emilia replied, following Severus into the room.
She passed by a bookshelf with a lot of huge, heavy books inside. But that is not what she first noticed. Because the light in the room was dimmer around the glass, she caught her reflection. She looked at her reflection, and gasped.
"What?" Severus said, moving things around on his desk.
She couldn't believe it. "Oh my god!" she cried out, touched her face. She looked like her old self again-or at least, close to it! Nearly back to the good old twenty-seven! Emilia guestimated at about twenty-four. She could drink! She took a quick look at Severus, who still-though Emilia grinned inside somewhere, she knew-looked the same...just a little older.
"What are you going on about?" he said irritably, shuffling papers from behind his desk. "If you don't care to tell, then please tell me what you wanted and leave." Severus sighed pointedly, looking up at her in mid shuffle.
She smiled at him. "I'm back to me! Good old me-or at least, pretty damn close! This is the best thing that has happened to me since...well...I don't know when. It's been shitty the last couple of days, anything seems better than before, you know? It's just..." she paused, and looked intently at his face. He wore a shocked expression and he was almost angry...or something. Emilia couldn't put the expression into words. "What's the matter?" she asked.
"Nothing," Severus said, looking down into his papers and reshuffling them slowly, moving things around on his desk.
She turned herself completely around. "Severus?" she asked cautiously. She walked to the front of his desk, and looked intently at him. Emilia resisted a sigh of contempt. He was starting to anger her.
Severus didn't answer. Emilia rolled her eyes and took in a deep breath. The thought about him being a Death Eater entered her mind. She was suddenly curious and decided to ask him, on impulse. No better time than now. "There was something I did wish to ask you," she said. "It's about something that I almost did myself."
"What?" he said.
"Can we sit down?" she asked. He motioned to the couch and the chairs near the fireplace. Severus pointed his wand at the fireplace and immediately a roaring fire leapt to life.
Walking out from behind his desk, he sat down on the green upholstered chair and looked up expectantly at her. Emilia walked carefully to the couch and sat nearest him. Emilia knew she would regret asking him this, but she needed to know.
"Why did you join the Death Eaters and then quit?" she blurted out. Emilia was never one for subtleties. She folded her hands in her lap, and glanced at him.
He let out a loud sigh. "I always knew in the back of my mind that you would want to ask me this," Severus said. He didn't sound angry. Emilia breathed a little easier. "And I always thought I would be ready, but I'm not, and I don't know if I would want to mention anything to you."
Emilia furrowed her brow. "It's not like I would tell anyone," she protested.
Severus held up his hand. "No, I would never think that. Admist your vein looks, your incompetence and your search for the answers to life, I doubt you'd ever break the trust of anyone," said Severus sarcastically.
"I don't know whether to be flattered or angry," replied Emilia, narrowing her eyes. "And, it's not good etiquette to use your entire vocabulary in one sentence."
"I'll keep that in mind," he said, settling back into his chair. "Anyway, I don't know where to begin. And what do you mean that you yourself almost did? Certainly, you didn't seriously consider becoming a Death Eater?"
"I didn't know what I was getting into. My father asked me to see this lord, Voldemort, and I couldn't say no. It was before that he had risen, and I didn't know what to expect." She paused.
Severus looked at her expectantly. She shifted uncomfortably. "What? I didn't join, end of story. My dad shut up about it, and didn't ask me about it ever again. To which I am thankful," she added.
He gave her a grim smile. "Wish my story was so easy to tell," he said.
"I can only give guesses from my view," Emilia offered. "I am guessing Lucius Malfoy?"
Raising the corner of his lips in a small smirk, he said, "Good guess." Then he rested his hands across the arms of the chair. "Though, I must admit, it was not simply all him. It was partially me."
Emilia looked at him intensely. "When I turned seventeen, Voldemort was at his height. Fully out in the open, and ready to take control of the government through any means necessary. Lucius Malfoy sought me out, and asked if I wanted to taste power and be relinquished from the daily grinds of my new job, which was a researcher for the Ministry. I agreed, though reluctantly-Lucius was never one to be denied," he said bitterly. "However, after I was initiated, I had to do something that I never care to repeat and nor will I; then afterwards, I felt so poorly about it..." Severus started to get slightly angry, "that I switched to the other side, working for Dumbledore. In fact, he saved me when I was brought to trial, but because I had given myself in before then, I could not be tried properly. Eventually, Voldemort fell and I was brought to trial again, and was let off." He sighed.
Emilia could sense that he was tense and angry, so she was quiet for a moment. She took in everything he said. He almost had as many skeletons in his closet as she.
"What was it you had to do?" Emilia asked quietly.
"Excuse me?" Severus said, looking up at her.
"What was it that you had to do?" she repeated.
Severus gave her a hard look, then his expression softened. "I do trust you, Emilia, but I can't tell anyone, let alone let myself believe it happened."
Emilia nodded. "We all have secrets like that." Some of us have too many, she thought.
Severus looked at her suddenly. "What?" he said, surprised. "What secrets could you harbor in that small mind of yours?"
Emilia sighed exasperatedly. "I knew that this wouldn't last," said she, though it was in a heavy sigh. Slapping her knees, she stood. "What a wonderful conversation I've had with you Severus, but I really ought to be going. Nice to know it didn't kill you to carry on a conversation once in your lifetime."
"And maybe," he said, also standing, "perhaps you could pick a less sensitive subject to talk about. There is nothing I love more than discussing the horrors of the past." "I was just curious," she said, clenching her fists. "Besides, you would have had to explain sooner or later. This is not something that you can keep hidden for a long time."
"It worked for years, Emilia," he replied shortly. "You and Dumbledore are the only ones that I know of that know I am a Death Eater that haven't been ones yourself. And of course, the Ministry, but they don't like to dwell on those subjects either."
"Like a good government," she added sarcastically. Emilia started to walk over to the door then stopped. She turned around slowly, and lifted her head up. "Why are you so damn disagreeable?"
"I don't know," he said angrily. "I find it a wonderful talent I like to exercise often."
She gave him a withering look and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "Funny, Severus."
Severus walked over to her with a sweeping motion. "I thought it was," he replied. "Aren't you leaving?"
"Sure," Emilia said. "Happy Christmas." She was debating whether or not to do what she was going to do, but she did it anyway. Reaching inside her robes, she extracted a small package and handed it to him. Emilia smiled, and walked out the door.
Emilia remembered when she got that a couple of weeks ago. She'd almost forgotten to give it to him. It was a small pocket watch, in which she had fixed after she found it among her things. She thought it was the perfect gift for him. It was just personal enough. Engraved on the back was his name, of course, but she didn't think he would put too much stock into it.
She had meant to hand it to him that night-after the party, of course-but something else got in her way (what else but the Death Eaters-how convenient). Since Dumbledore declared that because of the problems of last week that today would be celebrated Christmas, though the usually happy season was marked with funeral plans.
Earlier that morning, she retrieved her robes from the Gryffindor dormitories and returned Potter's; she'd had it fixed, mended, and cleaned. As she had bent down to pick up the silky gold robe, the small package had slipped out and she stared at it curiously. Then she remembered that she had delivered Minerva's present and Dumbledore's through the Owl Post, but had forgotten Severus's in her room and wanted to make sure she'd get it delivered that night. Too bad that it turned out the way it did.
So, she decided that the next time she saw him, she'd hand it to him. Emilia, though always full of pride and sarcasm, was not one to let someone be uninvited. It would have been rude not to give Severus a gift just because he's an ass.
Emilia hoped that he'd at least like it. It did take a great deal of thought to figure out what to get him. Nothing tacky, yet something unexpected. She hoped that he would like it. After all, the prick didn't even get her anything.
She went back up into her room and saw a small bundle of gifts at the food of her bed. Post had been late due to the unfortunate circumstances of last night and so therefore Post was sent out after lunch, at the earliest. She was pleased to see any pile at all. She hadn't had a semi- real Christmas since she was a governess.
She went to her bed and sat down, about ready to open all her lovely gifts when there was a tapping at her window. She looked over and saw it was Sagittarius, her owl, tapping his beak on the pane. "You stupid bird," she said, getting up to let him in, "sometimes I ought to-" she was interrupted by a loud fluttering of wings as the large tawny wanted to get in out of the cold.
He flew in importantly, and landed on her bed, ruffling his feathers and holding out his leg for the letter to be taken off. "I haven't anything for you to eat or drink," she said, putting a hand on her hip and giving a languishing look to her bird. "You should have shown up for lunch." Then she laughed. "Come here, Sagittarius, it's been such a long time since I seen you!" She scooped the bird on her arm and gave him a small hug. He hooted happily, knowing that his master was just joking with him. Emilia always did this with Sagittarius-it got her bird to do whatever she needed him to do and well.
"Well, what have we here?" she said, untying the letter on the leg. "A Christmas card?"
Sagittarius hooted apprehensively. "I know you want something to eat, so let me see what this is and then I'll see what I can scrape up for you." She took the envelope and sat down on the bed. She pried the top off and looked inside.
It was a letter from Dumbledore, requesting a staff holiday party at about seven tonight. Dumbledore hinted that the apparel ought to be Muggle clothing. Emilia sighed. She thought it would have been better if Voldemort had not attacked the building. It was slightly depressing going to a party after such a dilemma, even if it were a week later. Emilia resolved to go anyway.
Abandoning the pile of the gifts on the bed and took her owl downstairs to where she thought she could find some food for her owl. "Come on, pip up Sagittarius. Once I find the Kitchen it'll be easy to get you some food and then I can return to open my gifts you so rudely interrupted me opening."
"You do talk to yourself," said a voice behind her. Emilia turned around and saw that it was Severus.
"No, I was talking to my owl, because I'm going to get him food," Emilia replied.
"Convenient I ran into you," he started. "I was going to say thank you for the watch." Severus looked uncomfortable.
"You're welcome," she replied. "I thought you might like it. It's a priceless gift, and I thought that those were the gifts you'd enjoy more. Though, that mostly goes for me. Maybe you like tacky gifts, I don't know."
"Don't insult me," Severus retorted. "And I am still surprised that you got me anything at all."
"Don't insult me," she replied. "I may be a bitch, but I'm not rude." She smiled at him. "If you don't mind, I want to feed my owl and then open my gifts. That's the best part of Christmas."
"Certainly," Severus said, albeit sarcastically.
"Happy Christmas," she said happily. Emilia turned around and walked away. She had a small smile on her face. He had liked his gift.
Emilia opened the door to her room, and saw the still wrapped presents on her bed. "Yay, I can open them now," she said out loud, and jumped onto the bed. Though it may be a childish thought, she couldn't help but be ecstatic for presents. Her birthday, falling in April, was much like this as well. Not so much the presents, of course, but the whole specialty of the occasion.
Emilia picked up the first box wrapped in gold, and saw that it was from Minerva. She opened it up eagerly and saw that it was a blue closed box. She pulled open the sides and saw that it was a real dress. Emilia had never owned anything but robes, and the fanciest thing was a dress robe. But a real dress. She pulled it out and walked over to the mirror and held it up to her black robes.
The dress was a deep, luscious red that looked very form fitting. It came up on side and had a ruffle in a slant on the bottom. The dress was sleeveless with thin spaghetti straps. The chest had a folded-over design, exposing her neck, and it only accented the dress's looks. Emilia smiled.
She looked down on the floor and picked up the card that was with the dress. "I thought you may have liked this," she read aloud, "and I say no doubt that Severus would. Happy Christmas, Emilia."
She stuck her tongue out at the card. "Severus would like this indeed," she said back to the card. "Harumph." Emilia went into the bathroom and tried the dress on. Walking out, she caught herself in the mirror. She looked really good in the dress. It was just the right size, and didn't flaunt anything too uncomfortable. Emilia really liked the material as well. It was a smooth hybrid of cotton and silk. She grinned at her reflection. Now she needed some shoes to go with it.
Sitting down on the bed, Emilia decided that she'd open the rest of her gifts wearing the dress. She took up the next gift, which was something from Dumbledore. Opening it up happily, she pulled out a book named Unnerving Farewells. "Hmm," she said, flipping the book over and looked at the back. She opened the front cover and looked at the first page. "Good choice, Dumbledore," she murmured to herself, smiling. Emilia set the book down and picked up the card that fell out of the front cover.
"To Emilia," she read out loud, "who is more like a granddaughter I never had. May all the best happen to you after these dreary times, and do not be afraid to fall. Happy Christmas." Emilia choked back tears. "Dumbledore..." she said to the card.
She set the paper into the cover again and placed the book on her nightstand. Then she turned to the next present, which was a small, very tightly wrapped gift. Emilia dug her nails into the side and pried off the silver wrapping. The inside a blue velvety box. Curious, Emilia tilted her head and opened it slowly. Inside there was necklace, a delicate silver chain attached to a small charm. The charm was a heart curved at the end with a hanging diamond in the middle. A small card had popped out, and she picked it up slowly.
"Emilia," the card read. "I don't know how much you are into jewelry, but when I saw this in Hogsmeade when you were sick, I thought this would make you happy. God only knows, you're too miserable most of the time-" Emilia smiled. It was from Severus. "What a way to break the mood, Sev," she said to herself, then continued to read. "-And I knew your birthday was in April (somehow Dumbledore found this prudent to tell us before we met you, something of an ice breaker). Don't put too much stock into it-" Emilia felt tears sting the corner of her eyes, "-and Happy Christmas."
Her hand started to shake as she held the card. "Oh you stupid man," she said. "I'm supposed to hate you!" Emilia set the card down and picked up the open box. She took it out and held it up to the light, and a rainbow splashed on the wall. It's gorgeous, though, Severus. You certainly picked the right one.
She put it on, and walked over to the mirror. The necklace complimented the dress quite nicely. "Why couldn't you have gotten me a book!" she said angrily to the mirror.
"Who should have gotten you a book?" a voice said as the door to her room opened. Emilia blushed and turned around.
"Don't scare me like that, Minerva!" she said, clutching her chest.
"Sorry. But I like the dress," she said smiling. "I didn't think it would look so decent on you. Damn."
Emilia gave her a half smile. "Yeah, lucky me. Oh, and thank you for the dress!"
"And thank you for mine," she said, laughing. "We really ought to take the holidays more seriously."
"But then it's no fun," she said. She had gotten Minerva a blue spin- swing dress. It would complement Minerva's thin stature. "So, back from hell already?"
"Sure," she said listlessly, sitting at the table. "Ugh, I hate doing this."
"Feeling better?" she said, walking over to her, and placing a hand on her shoulder.
"A little. Too tired to care..." Minerva replied, rubbing her eyes. "Happy Christmas, by the way."
"Yes, Happy Christmas," she said, drifting off, and walked over to her bed. Emilia picked up the papers and threw it away. Then she noticed the last box on the bed.
"What's this?" Emilia said, opening the box. It was her shoes from yesterday, from the corridor.
She started to laugh. "What's so funny?" Minerva asked.
"Nothing," she said, happily, picking up a shoe and holding it up, laughing loudly now. "Nothing at all..."
~!--------------------!~ AND the thank yous...
The TONY goes to.
(Tony Tony Tony Tony Tony.ahhh! He's having a stroke! WHAT?! Of genius!)
millee: um, she's not a parselmouth, and the thing is not a snake. Goodness, that might have been confusing. Well, heads up people, Severus wasn't paying hard enough attention to what the fuck was going on. Typical guy. And thank you for reviewing! About Flitwick: I'm sorry, but I needed someone.major but not a potential main character. Believe me, if Trelawney wasn't going to appear in the next chapter, I'd have killed her off.
Vespertilios-Flower: Thank you, I know I updated.and I am lazy. But I'll try not to be.
Josie: yeah, yeah, thank you for reading finally. Anyway, DON'T VOTE REPUBLICAN. But that gave me a clue who the hell you were.lol. How was Chem lab on Friday? Sorry, I needed a mental health day.
The Muses: to the most talented writer of which I am hooked to your story (and am planning to review after this: A NEW CHAPTER!) thank you for updating. And I'm planning to send you emails for this ^^ Romance is eventual. And read her story. Lol, nothing like shameless promoting.
Thank you to all who reviewed, I love you all!
Kary