Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or it's characters.

Thanks to Dennisud for prereading this and the previous chapter.

Thanks to James for prereading this chapter

If you would like to be a prereader, please say so in your review (Include your e-mail address or
you won't get anything) and I will send you the next chapter when I deem it ready for preread.

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Confessions in the rain

Chapter 2

You never know what you have until you lose it.

Part 2

"Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts."
-Unknown

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Shinji is sitting on the grassy hill overlooking the lake remembering the fight with Asuka from earlier
that day. Next to him is a small backpack containing all the possessions he cared enough about to
bring with him.

Shinji is so engulfed in memory, he hasn't registered the passage of time nor does he hear Asuka
walk up behind him.

Panting, 'Thank Gott... I thought I'd lost him...'

"Shinji..."

On hearing his name, Shinji is snapped out of his reverie and turns to face the person who had
addressed him.

A few moments pass as the two teens stare at each other. Asuka with a bit of relief on her face,
and Shinji with a touch of anger on his.

As the moments pass, Asuka begins to feel uneasy. 'Why is he looking at me like that? I've seen
him angry before, but never at me... could that mean...'

Only one way to find out, ask him.

'Right...'

But before Asuka can say anything, Shinji speaks first: "Why are YOU here?" putting as much
venom into that one word as he possibly can as he directs his question towards the girl he thought
could love him the way he loves her.

"I..."

"Oh, I know... You came here to berate me, insult me and make me feel guilty for wanting to leave
after what YOU did. Am I right?"

Honestly not knowing what had caused Shinji to speak to her that way, Asuka decided to just ask
him.

"Sure, that thought had crossed my mind..." on saying this she thinks to herself: 'Liar!'
"but that's not why I came."

"Then why?"

"Misato showed me your letter and I... I wanted to say..."

"What?"

"Dammit, Shinji, this is hard enough for me already. Just shut up and listen to what I have to say..."

"Fine. But make it quick, my train is going to leave in a couple of hours and I don't want to miss it."

Hearing him say this wasn't making her feel any better about whether or not she could get him to
stay. So she made up her mind to do exactly as he wished.

"I'm sorry, Shinji."

Of all the things he had expected her to say, that was NOT one of them. Shocked, all he could do
was sit there looking up at her as she stared back at him waiting for an answer. Although, the fact
was that even if he wasn't expecting her to say it, there was a part of him that was hoping she
would. Still not quite believing his ears, he asked dumbly: "What did you just say?"

"I said 'I'm sorry'. What do you want, to have me dance a jig or fall all over you and beg you not to
leave?"

(Voice in her head) And you would have too if he had kept silent just now.

'I know.'

"No, I just didn't think that you'd say that Asuka. But..."

"Shinji, I don't want you to leave..."

"Huh?"

"Don't leave me..."

Shinji picked up on that immediately. ' 'Don't leave ME'? What does that mean, could she really
care after all?'

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because..."

Shinji waited to see what she would say before he chose to leave or stay.

As he waited, Asuka started to look down at her shoes as she tried to put into words what she had
discovered about herself that night as she searched for him.

Shinji waited until the sun was about to sink below the mountains before he turned to leave. After
walking about ten feet, he heard it.

"I...need you."

That one statement made him stop in his tracks. As he stood there immersed in thought, Asuka
continued to stare silently at her shoes as she waited for his answer.

'She needs me? What does she mean by that? She's always saying that she doesn't need anyone.
This must be some kind of joke.'

Without turning, Shinji responds to Asuka's confession: "I'm not in the mood for your games Asuka.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a train to catch."

Again, Shinji begins to walk away, but this time, he's stopped by a now weeping German girl
embracing him from behind.

As he listened, He could make out little bits and pieces of things Asuka was trying to say. "...Don't
leave me...sob...I NEED you...sob..."

Eventually, she stopped making intelligible sounds and just kept sobbing into his back as he
continued to stand there, stunned and guilt ridden that he had actually made her cry the way she
was.

Minutes pass, the sun sets, and the two teens continue to stand still, with only the sounds of
Asuka's sobbing and the cicadas' incessant chirping in the air. Eventually, Asuka manages to
recompose herself, and with a few tears still in her eyes, she speaks first:

"Please, don't leave."

Still stunned by all that has happened in the past 20 minutes, Shinji continues to stand there
dumbfounded as Asuka continues to hold him as tight as she can trying to keep him from going
anywhere. After a few minutes of his continued silence, Asuka begins to fear that he still wants to
leave.

"Shinji, why are you acting like this? Why are you so cold all of a sudden?"

Then it hits him. He had been acting just like his father. The man he still hated. The man he could
never forgive. 'Why am I acting this way? I don't want to become him! I WON'T become him!' Now,
as his realization really hits him, HE begins to cry. But, he doesn't completely break down like
Asuka did, he only lets out a few whimpers and a few tears escape his tightly closed eyes. 'I WILL
NOT BECOME THAT BASTARD AND ABANDON THOSE I LOVE!!!"

Still sobbing slightly, Shinji turns to face her, places his right hand on her cheek, and begins: "I'm
sorry Asuka, I don't know what came over me." He looked into those deep blue colored eyes of hers
as he wiped away a tear slowly making its way down her pretty face. "Can you forgive me for
making you cry just now?"

She smiled. "I can, if you can forgive me for all the terrible things I've done to you."

He took her into his arms, "Well, I guess we can call it even then."

"Yeah." She had her smile from the day before. He simply nodded.

"I want to leave."

"WHAT?!?!?! You're still going to leave? Even after all this?"

At this point, Asuka had begun to cry again thinking that she had come all the way out here and
said all those things for nothing.

He had an apologetic look on his face. "No, I meant leave HERE. As in go home... to OUR home."

Letting out a sigh of relief, Asuka tightened her hold on him as Shinji tightened his as well.

"Don't ever even think about leaving me again..."

"I won't, I promise." Each tightened their grip slightly.

With this said, the two begin the long walk home, arm in arm, feeling warm and happy.

-------Streets of Tokyo-3, Early evening-------

The two had been walking in near silence, arm in arm, for about an hour when Shinji thought of
something.

"Asuka?"

"Hmm?"

"How did you know I was leaving?"

Asuka said nothing as she produced Shinji's note to Misato and waved it in front of his nose.

"Oh. I'm guessing you found it?"

Putting the letter away, she answered him: "No. Misato did. Apparently, she got off work earlier
than she thought she would."

"Oh...great..." He rubbed his face in frustration with his free hand.

Looking at him with a confused expression:"What?"

With a groan, Shinji responds. "Misato is gonna get really emotional when we get back."

In a VERY sarcastic yet playful tone of voice, "Really? What ever gave you THAT idea?"

Shinji just looked at Asuka a bit annoyed by her statement, but not really angry. Almost giggling at
his response, Asuka rested her head on his shoulder, calming him just a bit. They walked for a little
while longer before Shinji continued to describe his fears of what Misato would do when he arrived at
the apartment.

------- Katsuragi Residence 7:30 pm -------

Misato had fallen asleep at the kitchen table with a collection of beer cans surrounding her.
Standing on one of the chairs across the table from her is Pen Pen. He just looked at her for a while
trying to figure out if he was hungry enough to risk waking her up to make him a meal.
Remembering one (Famous) encounter with Misato's curry, the warm-water penguin decided not to
take the risk.

At about the same time Pen Pen made his conclusion, the door is heard sliding open, and two sets
of footsteps are heard in the apartment. Pen Pen climbed down from his chair and poked his head
into the hallway to see Asuka and a fairly nervous looking Shinji in the entranceway removing their
shoes.

After determining who it was, Pen Pen waddled up to Shinji and tugged on the leg of his pants to
get the boy's attention. Shinji smiled at the very intelligent fowl and ruffled the feathers on his head.
"I know Pen Pen, you must be hungry." Having said this, Shinji walked to the kitchen and found a
sleeping Misato. As Shinji stood in the doorway to the kitchen, Asuka walked up behind him and
looked in as well.

With a surprised face, Shinji is the first to speak with a hint of disbelief in his voice: "She's fast
asleep..."

Getting somewhat annoyed by Shinji's lack of action, Asuka made a suggestion: "Want me to
wake her up so you can apologise to her?"

Flustered, Shinji stammered "NO!...I mean...She's sleeping so well..."

Smiling from ear to ear, "Right... You just don't want to get bear hugged when she wakes up."

After this, the two teens got into an argument in the kitchen. At first, it was rather subdued since
neither of them wanted to wake up their guardian. However, as the argument continued, they started
to forget where they were and the volume of their dispute began to rise.

Eventually, the fight got so loud that it inadvertently woke up the only other occupant of the room...
Misato.

Sitting up from where she had her head on the table, Misato groaned, "UUUGGHHH..."

Upon hearing this, both teens stop fighting and turn to face their now 'awake' guardian.

A few moments pass as Misato looks at her charges with a blank expression. As the teens watch,
they see Misato's mind trying to kick itself into gear as her eyes slowly move between the two and
she becomes more awake. Then, a flash of recognition moves across her face as she nearly jumps
over the table to get to Shinji. After a few failed attempts to do this, Misato opts for going around the
table.

Once she gets into range, she promptly grabs BOTH teens in a huge bear hug that takes Asuka by
complete surprise since she wasn't expecting to participate.

After a few minutes of expressing her relief for seeing Shinji again, she lets the teens go never
taking her eyes off Shinji.

"Misato...I...I'm sorry..."

Misato smiles at the 18-year-old boy and places a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, as long as you
promise to not do anything like that again, all is forgiven."

Before answering, Shinji glances at Asuka who smiles back at him and gives him an encouraging
nod. Looking back at Misato and smiling, he answers: "Okay, I promise."

Luckily, for the two teens, Misato was too drunk to notice their little non-verbal exchange.

"Great! Now that that's settled, how about dinner?" As she says this, she turns and starts to walk
over to the fridge to scope out something to cook.

"No, um, Misato, you look tired." Asuka stated trying to keep Misato from cooking by any means
nessecary. "Why not let me and baka-kun cook tonight?"

Turning to face her red-haired charge, "When...WHEN DID YOU LEARN TO COOK???"

Shrugging her shoulders as if the answer to her guardian's question was unimportant, "Who ever
said that I didn't already know how to cook?"

Within a few short minutes, Asuka and Misato start to argue about each other's cooking abilities
while Shinji walks over to the refrigerator to begin a meal. As the two females of the house continue
their verbal war, Shinji makes dinner by himself as usual...

As his roomates argue and the dinner cooks, Shinji takes it upon himself to clear the table of all the
empty beer cans that Misato had left behind. While he was still clearing the table, Asuka asked:

"What do you think Shinji?"

"What?"

"Who do you think can cook better? Me or Misato?"

"Ummm...I..." Shinji began thinking very hard to think of an answer that would not get either of them
angry but would not lead to any further questioning. Because of his new dilemma, Shinji blanked
out to the rest of the world.

"Hello... Anyone in there?" Snapping out of his thoughts thanks to a hand waving in front of his face,
Shinji realized that he had zoned out and still hadn't answered Asuka's question.

"Ummm... I know what Misato's cooking is like, but I can't make any kind of comparison because
I've never eaten any food made by you, Asuka..."

At the end of Shinji's statement, the buzzer on the stove's timer began to...well...buzz.

"Dinner's ready..." Shinji announced. "Sit down at the table and I'll fix your plates."

"Okay, fine, we'll settle this tomorrow." Without another word on the subject, Asuka and Misato sat
down at the table and waited for Shinji to start dishing out the food he made.

From this point on, the three of them enjoyed a normal meal in the Katsuragi residence that night.

After dinner, the three of them went to their respective rooms and prepared for bed. Misato just
walked into her room and fell onto her futon and went right to sleep. After entering his room, Shinji
changed out of his clothes and into his nightwear. After this he placed the ear-buds of his SDAT
into his ears and laid down on his futon and tried to focus on the music. Soon afterwards, he was
asleep. Asuka's process was similar to Shinji's except for the SDAT. She rolled over several times
before she finally fell asleep.

-----A Hill-----

Asuka was walking up a grassy hill in what apeared to be dusk. She crested the hill to find Shinji
sitting on the ground near a backpack. He seemed to be watching the sunset.

'What am I doing here? Didn't I already get Shinji to come back?'

As Asuka observed the boy from behind, a girl walked by her with a hand pressed against her chest
and appeared to be panting heavily. The girl had bright red hair and was wearing a school uniform.

'Wait a sec... That's me... What's going on?'

As Asuka watched her double, that Asuka called Shinji's name and he turned around. After this,
events on the hill from earlier that day replayed themselves with Asuka as a silent observer. Things
continued this way until Shinji asked her why he souldn't leave. After that question, Asuka found
herself watching from her perspective again as her double remained silent as Shinji walked away
from her calling back his goodbyes...

"NO!! SHINJI!!!"

Asuka was sitting straight up in her bed breathing heavily in a cold sweat. She looked around for a
moment bewildered trying to figure out where she was. After determining that she's in her own
room, she began to remember the nightmare she just had.

Trying to hold back tears, she got up off her bed, opened the door to her room, and walked across
the hall to Shinji's door. She knocked lightly on it a couple of times, but got no answer. Beginning
to get a little more worried, she slid the door open and observed Shinji asleep on his futon.

With a sigh of relief, Asuka entered his room, and knelt down beside where he slept. From her new
vantage point, Asuka could see that Shinji had a slight smile on his face indicating he was having a
pleasant dream.

Smiling slightly herself, She thought: 'He's really cute when he sleeps...'

Asuka then reached out with her hand and placed it lightly on his.

At the touch, Shinji stirred a little bit, but remained sleeping. Asuka was a bit startled by his
stirring, but she never lifted her hand from his. After settling himself back down, Shinji continued to
sleep with a somewhat larger smile on his face.

Seeing his reaction to her touch, Asuka smiled a little more before taking her hand away and moved
to leave the room.

A short time after, Asuka was once again in her bed, sleeping. But this time, neither nightmares
from earlier that day nor from her distant past could haunt her tonight. She had only pleasant
dreams involving herself and Shinji.


to be continued...

I end this chapter with these bits of advice:

"Sometimes, one needs to have their heart broken to realize that they still had one. Some leave it
that way and lead okay lives, a few do everything they can to put it back together and live
exceptional lives filled with happiness and those they love" -Myself

"Those with fragile hearts build the strongest walls" -Myself

Next Chapter... How will Shinji and Asuka deal with their classmates? Will they continue on like
nothing happened, or will they let everyone else know that they've at least come to terms? And
what did Asuka mean when she said they'd settle the argument tomorrow?

Find out next time on Neon Genesis: Evangelion: Confessions in the Rain...