Prequel to Star Light
+ By Julie
+ rated NC-17 for explicit sexual scenes
+ yaoi content. Male/male having sex, getting each other off
+ Parings: Squall/Seifer
+ Disclaimer: I do own Zell but it's just a cute toy chicken. Otherwise, I don't own any of the characters or anything else... *le sigh* Oh! I also own a Griever necklace now! *is proud*
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+ Chapter 7: Why? +~***~
Squall took of the jacket, tossing it over the side of the chair. Getting to one knee, he loosened the laces of his boot, removing it before working on the second one.
Seifer, behind Squall, sat down heavily on the bed. He opened the plastic bag which held the junk food Squall had picked out at the store. That had been were Squall wandered off to. And Gregory noticed that's what Squall had been doing, so he'd followed the near-mute brunette.
Squall stood and turned, once he was only wearing the girl pjs, then walked to Seifer. Sitting down on the bed, Squall reached into the bag and removed a small bag of cheese-covered popcorn. Seifer smiled at Squall, then stood.
Leaving the plastic bag on the bed with his young brunette toy, Seifer pulled off his coat.
"Should we call your parents?" Seifer asked Squall, tossing his coat with Squall's leather jacket.
Squall looked up as he pushed a piece of popcorn into his mouth. Squall shrugged. He probably should call his father. But that didn't matter. It would just be time that Squall would waste. He'd rather sit here with Seifer.
With his shoes now off, Seifer reached down and started to undo his pants. He looked up to Squall, wondering if he really should be undressing in front of Squall. What was Squall expecting tonight? Seifer wasn't able to read Squall's mind, and he'd only known the boy for a week now.
Normally Seifer had bedded his girl/boyfriends within that time. But this was the first night Squall and him would be sleeping in the same bed. And Seifer didn't exactly see the reason to have sex tonight. As handsome as Squall was, Seifer felt it would be stupid. Too soon, and quite inappropriate. But Seifer didn't know what Squall thought about it.
Why had Squall agreed to stay over? And the girl's clothes; was Squall attempting to do something with that? Turn Seifer on, perhaps.
Yet there Squall sat, chewing on popcorn, eyes in their ever glazed over state. The look on Squall's face made Seifer again wonder if something was mentally wrong with Squall. It wasn't normal for a person to not register things. Though Squall had managed to talk to Seifer. And Squall's conversation ability hadn't been bad, when Squall found a place to speak. Squall simply was quiet, completely able to fade into the wall of a room.
Perhaps Seifer would attempt to draw Squall into a conversation. Squall obviously wasn't in that much of a stupor, since Friday evening at the football game - Squall jumping onto Seifer's lap as he had. All because that teacher was being a bitch.
No, no. Squall knew what went on around him. He wasn't mentally disabled. There was something else wrong inside Squall's mind.
Seifer let his pants drop. Squall didn't flinch.
Laguna swallowed. Unable to concentrate, he sat back in the leather chair and grumbled to himself.
Where the fuck was his son? Squall hadn't come home from school. It was 3 in the morning, and not even a call.
Pushing up from his chair, Laguna made his way around the desk of his home office. He walked to the door and opened it. Heading down the hallway of the large palace, Laguna headed over to the living room that lead out to the backyard porch.
Laguna was an insomniac some nights. Nights that were close to special days in his life. September 19th had been a special day. Not happy-special, but important. It was the day he found out his wife was going to die. So Laguna was allowed to be an insomniac.
Stepping up to the glass doors that looked out into the dark yard, Laguna couldn't help but remember how his wife would love to walk around during the night. And Laguna loved to watch the cool summer breeze blowing through her hair.
Laguna pushed the doors open, heading out to the peaceful deck. Laguna smiled to himself, enjoying the quiet calm. But when he looked down to the vacant bench, Laguna sighed heavily.
The bench was one of the few places where Squall would venture out to. When Squall left his room. Squall would walk through the house, but he never paused anywhere. Except the kitchen table during breakfast, and the dinner table in the evening. Otherwise it was up in Squall's room. Or, lastly, that bench.
Slowly, Laguna walked to the cold-stone and sat down. He swallowed, looking out to where he son would gaze. The dark night hid most of the garden, but some of it was viewable in the moonlight and soft lights along the grass that were always lit.
With a flip of a switch, the entire garden could be lit brighter. But Laguna didn't want to. Somehow the blackness, the bareness that the garden was in its dark, it reminded Laguna all to much of his son.
The poor boy, turned to stone by the death of his mother. Squall had never recovered.
Thought this week had been odd. Squall had found a friend, from what Laguna could gather. A blonde boy not from Squall's school. Lower class, though that didn't matter. Laguna himself had been a soldier in the Galbadia military before he'd gained Presidency during a fumbled mission. It was quite laughable, really: Laguna as the president, but there he was.
At first it had been the best thing in his life. He had moved his wife from her little home in Winhil, to here - Esthar! They had children, raised them, had a good life. And then September 19th happened nine years ago. And life was all to bleak after that.
Laguna blinked up from his glazed memory state. He shook his head, standing from the still cold stone bench. Slowly, Laguna headed back to the glass doors, walking back to the warm indoors.
He slowly walked up the stairs towards his bedroom. Heading down the hallway, Laguna stopped at the door in front of his daughter's room. Opening it, he looked in on Ellone, seeing her hugging her old teddy bear that she'd had forever. She was 18 years old and still slept with that old toy. Laguna smiled.
Stepping back, he closed the door and continued down the hallway. He stopped in front of his son's bedroom, pushing the door open. Flipping the light on, Laguna blinked a few times.
There was Squall's room. White walls, white dressers, and light-grey carpet. Most people would assume Squall had a black room. But the boy didn't. His room was vacant. No posters on the walls or pictures on the table tops. Just a desk with school work. And Squall's king-size bed with the white comfort set and 8 pillows.
Squall's room was desolate. Which was probably why Squall left it white. Black it would look like Squall was trying to attempt some sort of image or give away a feeling. But the white look made the room look like no one lived there. All the easier for Squall to blend in, to fade away and be invisible.
Color or even a small photo would make it look as though Squall actually slept in the room. There wasn't even a CD player anywhere in sight. Not even a TV with a playstation. Just a vacant room.
Squall's desk, even with its school work, was clean and crisp. Unused looking. Simply stacked neatly in a pile, books lined up. Like a guest bedroom.
Laguna sighed, flipping the light off. He stepped back, shutting the door to continue down to his own bedroom.
Entering, Laguna stepped out of his slippers and removed his shirt. He walked to the mirrored dresser, pulling his hair from the ponytail. Setting the band on the dresser top, Laguna picked up the brush his wife use to use and slowly ran it through his dark hair.
Laguna wished his son would call him. He was worried about Squall, where Squall was. Who knew what Squall was doing at that moment.
"I-" Seifer tried to pull his lips from Squall. But he didn't try very hard.
Squall sat on Seifer's lap, arms wrapped around the blonde, kissing him deeply.
Finally, Seifer let his willpower win over.
"Squall," he said, pulling away.
Squall sat up straight, looking down to his new boyfriend.
Seifer sighed. "Talk to me."
Squall blinked.
Seifer pushed the brunette ice-boy from his lap. He turned his body to face Squall, waiting in the same silence Squall gave him.
Squall looked at Seifer, his cloudy eyes watching the sky-blue ones study him. Most of the time, Squall's silence deterred people. Squall's lack of interest in life or his surroundings gave people the impression that Squall was an asshole. That he was just being a snob. After 10 minutes of being around Squall, people figured Squall was at that phase in teenage life where he hated everything and everyone. It wasn't worth talking to jerks. But Seifer didn't seem to think that.
And it made Squall more interested in him. The strange blonde that put up with his quietness, that actually tried to talk to Squall. Not like the way Squall's father tried. Laguna spoke too much, talking about things that were obvious. Yes, Squall's mother's garden was beautiful. Squall could see that. He didn't need Laguna to state it.
And Squall had been sitting there peacefully until Laguna came out to destroy his calm moment. So the garden hadn't been peaceful when Laguna spoke. And Squall wasn't trying for attention or to be noticed. Laguna should have realized that over the years. Squall was sitting outside to sit outside.
While Seifer seemed to talk about calmer things. And he looked at Squall, noticed Squall. Seifer tried to read Squall's reactions, and he listened to Squall. When Squall actually spoke, of course.
Seifer was also fun. He was handsome and bright. Happy. He was interested in knowing Squall. Unlike Squall's father, who was just interested in making Squall act more like other teenagers.
Because that's what people wanted from Squall: to be like those other teens in their immaturity and stupidity.
But Seifer was only interested in getting this Squall to talk. To be around this Squall. The quiet, stoic Squall. To give this Squall attention. Not expect Squall to be like those around him. Squall was allowed to be Griever. It was okay. And Seifer liked Squall for who he was.
"About...?" Squall said softly, meaning to try to hold a conversation.
Seifer smiled. "What do you think of my friends?" This was the first night Squall had spent being around Seifer's friends. So it was a legitimate question to start a conversation.
Squall opened his mouth to attempt a reply. But his mouth closed quickly, him realizing he needed to think it over. His eyes turned away from Seifer, glazing over as he tried to remember what it had been like talking to, or more likely: listening to each of the other teens tonight.
Seifer waited. He could tell Squall wasn't fazing out on him, Squall was trying to think of a reply. Seifer was halfway use to this: Squall pausing for a while when Seifer asked him specific questions.
Squall looked up. "Gregory is nice."
Seifer's smiled widened. "Yeah, he is. He's also the least asshole-like of my friends. Hazen is girl crazy, you notice that yet?"
Squall blinked, keeping his eyes locked with Seifer's. "... Hazen... likes Gloria."
Seifer sneered, still smiling. "Vanessa. That's the girl he's got a crush on."
Squall let a small frown crack on his expression. "... No. He... flirts with Vanessa. But Gloria is ... he ... ... looks at."
Seifer shifted in his seat on the bed. "You think so?"
Squall nodded once.
"I'm going to have to tease him about that," Seifer said, smirking. "Thoran's a lot like Hazen. Not girl crazy, though. I know he likes chicks, but he's more mature about it." Seifer laughed. "Thoran, mature. Hyne, I'm going to regret saying that."
Squall looked at the smile on Seifer's lips. It was odd, the blonde enjoying the conversation with Squall. Joking and laughing. But Squall didn't seen any reason to walk away like he normally did. He found himself willing to speak more. Add to what Seifer said.
"He... looks ... up to you," Squall said softly.
Seifer sneered. "You need to pay more attention to those freaks. No way Thoran looks up to me. He's just my bud."
Squall shrugged. He noticed that Thoran always agreed with Seifer, always sided with Seifer. Squall might look lost in another world, and most of the time he didn't think to pay attention. But he still heard what they said around him, even if he didn't register things. Thinking back to earlier, Squall could remember and then register. If he found it interesting enough to. Otherwise, he just let his mind forget.
"Victor's been an asshole lately," Seifer said with a sigh. "Sorry he's being a prick, especially to you. He's just pissed at me."
Squall cocked his head to the side, silently asking the question needed to be asked in response to Seifer's words. And Seifer could understand Squall's silent reply.
"I dumped my other boyfriend to go out with you," Seifer explained. "Victor thinks I should have dated Bret longer. He thinks..." Seifer paused, trying to decide if he should just say it out loud to Squall. But what the hell did it matter? "Victor thinks you're just with me because I'm some low life. Dating me to tell your friends about the fag from Old-Town Esthar you went out with."
A frown quickly pushed onto Squall's forehead. "...What...?"
Seifer smiled at Squall's reaction. The boy actually could react. And before Seifer could tell Squall he thought Victor was full of shit, Squall spoke more.
"I'm not..." Squall tried. But he wasn't able to think of words to relate any sort of reaction he felt.
"It's okay, sweetheart," Seifer said, putting his hand on Squall's thigh. "I know Victor's just being a prick. I dated Bret for three days before I met you. Guess I'm sorta an asshole like that."
"No," Squall said, in some manner trying to defend Seifer from the blonde's own words.
"You don't know," Seifer said with a low laugh.
"Then tell me," Squall said in his normal slow dialog.
Seifer half smirked a lighter expression, but in his eyes was a small amount of shock. Squall had spoken without even missing a beat.
"Okay," Seifer said, shifting to sit closer to Squall. "My longest relationships: it lasted only three weeks. Every single person I've ever dated: I'd slept with. And most of the time on the first date. I don't do flowers or chocolates, and I flirt a lot. Even around my boyfriends and girlfriends."
Squall reached up to Seifer, gently putting his hand on Seifer's cheek. He then slowly asked "Why?"
"Why what?" Seifer said.
Squall's hand moved down to Seifer's chest. "Why don't you... like... your boyfriends and girlfriends?"
Seifer frowned. "Of course I like them."
"Oh," Squall said in a softer voice than normal. He blinked, adjusting his eyes before refocusing them with Seifer's. "Then... I don't understand."
"I don't take my relationships serious," Seifer said, trying to think of a way to explain to his new anti-social boyfriend. "I don't take my boy and girlfriends ... their emotions serious."
"Why date?" Squall asked, titling his head slightly.
"Why not?" Seifer replied.
"I didn't," Squall answered.
"Why do you date now?" Seifer asked.
Squall paused. He didn't know. He didn't date before because it wasn't worth the trouble of being interested. Interested in situations like this: talking. Squall didn't see any reason to be friendly, or try to keep someone interested in being around him. It was work, and Squall couldn't find a reason to put effort into anything like that.
Now, why did he date? Squall found himself with an actual answer, and a long one at that.
"I, um," Squall started slowly. "I don't... like to talk. Isn't, um. Isn't worth the trouble: ...keeping the other person interested."
"You're talking right now," Seifer said, smiling slightly.
"You..." Squall started. "are... worth the trouble."
Seifer watched Squall's expression, unsure but he had a feeling that was probably one of the biggest compliments a person could get from the brunette boy sitting there with him.
Seifer leaned forward, pushing his lips against Squall's. Squall wrapped his arms around Seifer's shoulders, kissing his blonde boyfriend back.
Seifer slowly pulled away from Squall, saying softly "Thank you."
Squall moved a hand to Seifer's lips, tracing a finger lightly over the red flesh. "And you?"
Pulling back a little farther, Seifer half-frowned at Squall. "Um...?"
"Tell me," Squall said slowly. "Your boyfriends and girlfriends." He shifted to sit straighter. "You date them, why?"
"Oh," Seifer said with a soft laugh. He was startled for a moment, thinking Squall wanted a confession of love or something. But Squall didn't. He was just simply pursuing the conversation. "... I don't know."
"You like them?" Squall said softly, but he didn't mean for Seifer to answer the question. "Yet, they... are not worth flowers?"
"Who wants flowers?" Seifer asked with a humorous sneer. Though he knew plenty of people did, and he was sure all his Exs would have loved to get some sort of token of affection.
Squall shrugged.
"Do you want flowers?" Seifer asked, raising his eyebrows. And then in a small moment he realized he would get Squall flowers if the brunette wanted.
Squall shook his head then asked "Do you?"
Seifer shifted, in a second small moment he realized he wouldn't mind getting flowers from Squall. Not like in a girly-way, simply it wouldn't be a bad thing. Seifer then sneered.
"What the hell are you asking, Squall?" Seifer said, shifting his body further from Squall, but still facing him.
"Just... trying," Squall said softly. "to understand."
"Understand what? Me?!" Seifer asked, shaking his head.
"You like them, but don't show them," Squall answered.
"I'm an asshole!" Seifer said, standing up from the bed. "Hyne Squall," he laughed, but not exactly comfortable. "Get it, I'm a fucking asshole to my lovers."
"But why?" Squall asked, looking up to Seifer.
"I just am," Seifer stated.
Squall looked down, away from Seifer.
Seifer frowned, wondering exactly why he'd just push all that onto Squall. Was it the smartest thing to tell his new boyfriend how much of a prick he was to all his past lovers? And then not leave himself any outs.
Seifer sighed, moving back to the bed. He put his hand on Squall's shoulder, the brunette looking up with the exact same expression as always. Even throughout the entire conversation they'd just had.
"I won't... I'm not going to be an asshole to you, Squall," Seifer said softly, moving his hand to caress Squall's ash-brown hair.
Squall didn't reply, going back to his more comfortable mute habit.
"I'm already a lot different with you," Seifer said. "If you want flowers, I'll go out and buy you flowers."
Squall tilted his head slightly, silently asking why.
"Because you are worth the trouble," Seifer said with a smile. "I don't even like flirting with anyone when I'm with you. You're much more interesting." Seifer's smile widened as he laughed softly. "When you talk; I'm interested, I want more. You fucking surprise me. You make me laugh when you don't even mean to. I choose being with you over being with anyone else."
Squall put his hands on Seifer's shoulders then slowly leaned forward into a tight hug. He closed his eyes, feeling Seifer's arms pull around him, holding him close.
This was most certainly more interesting than spending the night in his room for Squall. This was better than being alone. Or being with anyone else Squall could think of. And talking with Seifer had been appealing for Squall.
Seifer pulled back from Squall just enough to meet their eyes.
"What are you doing tomorrow night?" Seifer asked.
Squall lightly traced a finger over Seifer's jaw line. "Depends on you."
Seifer smirked. "Depends on what I'm doing, huh?"
Squall blinked then nodded.
"Blood Kiss is performing," Seifer said. "You should come with me to the club."
"Alright," Squall whispered, leaning closer to hug Seifer again.
Seifer smiled, closing his eyes as he pulled Squall into a tight embrace.