Prequel to Star Light
+ By Julie
+ rated NC-17 for explicit sexual scenes
+ yaoi content. Male/male having sex, getting each other off
+ Parings: Squall/Seifer
+ Disclaimer: I do own Zell but it's just a cute toy chicken. Otherwise, I don't own any of the characters or anything else... *le sigh* Oh! I also own a Griever necklace now! *is proud*
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+ Chapter 8: Glazed-State +~***~
"You are seriously agitated," Thoran said to Seifer.
Seifer glared at his friend. He then crossed his arms, sighing heavily as he shifted his weight. They were backstage, waiting for this band to get off so their turn would come up. The speakers vibrated through the floorboard, pounding up Seifer's legs. But he was use to it, the feeling blocked out. Music streamed through the air, blaring certain notes then calming down again.
"Not even a blow job?!" Hazen asked, raising his eyebrows with the question.
"No," Seifer grumbled back. It wasn't he was upset that Squall hadn't blow him, as Seifer had thought last night - sex would have been too soon. Blow job was in the category of sex, even for the blonde-slut. So Seifer wasn't upset about Squall's lack of sexual activity. Who knows, the brunette just might have spread his legs for Seifer.
Seifer was grumbling because he didn't want to hear it from his friends. No, he hadn't had sex since he dumped Bret. Not a big deal, Seifer would wait for Squall. Oddly, it seemed worth the wait. But Seifer still didn't need to see the surprise on his two best friend's faces, nor the confusion. Was it so bad to want to wait?
Alright, Seifer was also a little sexually frustrated. Sure, he'd wait. But God-damn he really could use a blow job right now.
"Sucks," Hazen mumbled to Seifer's one word answer.
Thoran smirked, speaking before he thought. "Actually, it doesn't."
Hazen and Thoran laughed a moment until they saw the glare in Seifer's eyes. They quieted, turning their attention on waiting for the current band to get offstage.
A hand grabbed Seifer's ass, squeezing hard. Seifer jumped, turning around to glare at the person. Melissa; 20 year old back-stage worker for this club.
"Hey, Seify-baby," Melissa purred. Her hand wandered up his arm, to his shoulder.
Seifer shrugged her away. "Get off," he growled, stepping away from her.
Melissa frowned. "Heard you dumped Bret," she said, explaining her forward interest.
"For a new boyfriend," Thoran corrected.
"Man!" Melissa said, putting her hands on her hips. "You are such a whore!" A deep frown was on her forehead.
"Blow me," Seifer replied halfheartedly, a heavy sigh following.
"Poor Sei," Thoran said softly, shaking his head at the blonde.
Seifer squinted his eyes in a deep glare.
Thoran cracked a half-smiled, putting his hands into his jean pockets.
"Seifer!" Victor's voice called from behind the leering blonde.
The group of four turned to see Victor, Squall in tow. Seifer noted Victor's hand grasped onto Squall's wrist. Squall looked as bored as normal, almost oblivious to his surroundings. But his eyes meet with Seifer's, locking and not leaving the gaze. A small smile pulled on Seifer's face. He had to think that maybe Squall was happy to see him. The brunette's attention suddenly, oddly, focused.
Reaching the four, Victor released his death-grip on Squall's wrist.
"What are you-" Seifer started to growl at Victor. He wanted to know what the fuck the singer was doing with his boyfriend, since Victor had some disliking for Squall.
"One girl after another," Victor said while shaking his head. "Swear I must have watched 10 different girls approach Griever. A little lynch mob was forming to go over and scratch your boyfriend to death."
Seifer smiled, about to speak.
"That's your new boyfriend?" Melissa asked.
Squall stepped one slow step to Seifer, but he wasn't standing boyfriend close.
"Yeah," Seifer replied, almost sounding smug about it. He took Squall's hand, holding it tightly. Glancing to the brunette Ice-God, Seifer smile.
"Damn he's hot," Melissa commented, more saying the words to herself then to the group.
"Little Griever," Thoran said with a smile, eyes sparkling humorously at Squall.
"Griever?" Melissa repeated.
"That's his name," Thoran replied.
Melissa looked confused.
Seifer had given up earlier today trying to correct the name. His friends enjoyed the name too much, and Squall didn't care. Then Seifer had to also take into account that the nickname fit Squall, near perfectly. So, as of now, Squall went by Griever. No reason to argue about a sexy name like that.
Yes, Seifer found it sexy. The black clothing, leather pants, dark disposition. It was an oblivious disposition, but Squall was very dark. His eyes burned into you if you were the center of his focus. His voice soft and melancholy when he spoke. Even his breathing; slowly, through pouted pink lips, was dark and dreary. And the way he faded away, like he was remembering something that he wanted to forget.
Sexy Griever.
"O-kay," Melissa mumbled, raising her eyebrows in confused submission to the name. The brunette - Griever - he didn't argue with the name, so she'd just play along.
"Sei, you look a little more relax," Thoran commented.
That, purposely said, tensed Seifer up again. His eyes flared, turning to snap at the guitarist.
"And?" Seifer said through clenched teeth.
"Hey, Griever," Hazen said with a smirk. "Seif' needs a li'le attention, why don'tcha take 'im out ta da parkin' lot an' sit in his truck together?" It was obvious was Hazen was really saying: Squall go fuck Seifer, he's horny.
Squall blinked at Hazen, apparently not even attempting to understand what Hazen just said. It did get through, into Squall's mind, but he didn't bother with the dialog.
"Shut up!" Seifer growled.
"Not enough last night?" Victor said, sneering disgustedly.
Seifer, still holding Squall's hand, turned his body to direct more of his anger at the singer.
"Seifer ain't screwed Griever yet," Thoran said plainly.
Melissa laughed. But she quickly quieted as Seifer's gaze made its way to glare at her.
"Seriously?!" she asked. "Going for a record?!"
"Fuck you, bitch," Seifer snapped.
"No, really?" Victor asked, his tone lower and confused.
"Did you hear anything?" Seifer asked, nostrils flared in anger.
Victor shrugged, motioning to Squall. As if it wasn't obvious: wouldn't the quiet boy be quiet during sex?
Seifer shook his head, fed-up with his friends too eager interest in his sex life. "No, I haven't screwed him yet. If that's any of your business!"
"Why not?" Melissa asked.
"Not everything is about sex," Seifer said plainly.
Of course, his friends laughed at that. Then they quickly quieted down.
"Since when?" Melissa asked, a smirk on her face.
"Since a week ago," Victor said plainly. He looked at Squall, holding back a jealous glare.
Squall wasn't even looking at Seifer. His eyes glazed over, lips closed, hand still in Seifer's only because of the blonde's tight grip. Squall looked like one of those manikin dolls that they dress up in department stores: eyes looking at nothing, body frozen in a pose.
"What's wrong with him?" Melissa asked suddenly.
Seifer frowned. "Nothing."
Melissa blinked up from her study of Squall, turning her attention to Seifer. "Drugs?"
Seifer glanced down quickly, but Squall looked as he always did. Seifer slowly raising his head back to meet Melissa's gaze.
"No," Seifer said.
"Is he alright?" Melissa asked, concerned.
A frown formed on Seifer's face again. "Yes! He's fine. He's just quiet."
"He's just like this," Victor said, explaining to Melissa.
Melissa studied Squall for a moment until "Is he retarded?"
"What?!" Seifer snapped, louder then he meant to. He'd had those thoughts himself, but dare anyone say it about Squall. "What'd you say, bitch?"
Melissa raised her hand to her mouth, covering it apologetically. "He is, I'm sorry!"
"No!" Seifer quickly corrected. He was being defensive. Over compensating his own fear that Squall might be, using his anger to hide his hesitancy on knowing the answer. Maybe Squall was. "He isn't!"
"What's wrong with him, then?" Melissa asked.
"He's quiet!"
Squall didn't outward show any signs of listening. But he was. Had been the moment he'd locked eyes with Seifer as Victor dragged him over to the blonde-God.
There was no reason for Squall to give input into the conversation. Like it mattered that people thought he was retarded. Squall couldn't care either way. And he would have just stood there until they were all completely convinced, and the subject dropped. Except Seifer was upset. He was defending Squall, trying to explain Squall.
If Squall bothered to think about it, he might have laughed. Someone attempting to explain why he was as fucked-up as he was?
But Squall didn't bother. He was focused on Seifer.
Seifer accepted Squall for Squall. For being the Griever boy that Squall was. And Seifer liked Squall for that, Hyne knows why. Squall was intriguing. Past that good looks that attracted Seifer to Squall, Squall was a mystery. Depth that he hid. Something buried deep down that no one was allowed to touch. He was a boy lost in a field of ice. Hyne knows why Seifer wanted to burn into that, after only knowing Squall for a week. Hyne knows why Squall watched Seifer, inside looking out at Seifer's smile.
"Maybe he is!" Seifer finally admitted. He couldn't stand the prodding anymore.
His friends went quiet.
Squall's fingers tightened around Seifer's hand. He blinked off his glazed over state and looked up to his new blonde boyfriend.
Seifer looked down, almost shocked to see Squall reacting. But hadn't Squall last night?
"I'm not retarded," Squall said, too softly. And he realized it was too soft, his normal whispered voice hushed out even further. His voice was slightly horse, not having used it since he'd finished his conversation with Seifer last night (then made out with Seifer) before falling asleep.
Squall tried again: "I'm not retarded." His voice loud enough that all of Seifer's friends heard Squall. That was the point of Squall speaking: defend himself for Seifer.
Seifer looked down, watching Squall's ever-blank expression. Squall then turned to the girl who was now gawking in a he can speak! mouth-open stance.
"Just quiet," Squall said, his blue eyes burning at Melissa.
She felt uncomfortable under his gaze, wishing him to turn away or blink! - Anything.
Then it hit Seifer - Squall was glaring at her. Not just the small expression that sometimes broke through the mask on Squall's face. Not the small wide-eyes or frown that slipped out. No, the mask was down and he was completely glaring. Eyes burning, nose slightly wrinkled, lip somewhat curled up, not breaking.
Squall wasn't mad. Not in the slightest. People could think he was a girl for all he cared - which he didn't. The glare, forced and etched onto his face, was for Seifer. Squall had to defend himself for Seifer, speak up and look interested. Or look something. A manikin wasn't a good date. Squall was trying to be a good date - a good boyfriend. So Seifer would stay with him, give Squall attention, talk to Squall, like this Squall. No one gave that to Squall before.
Not that Squall was anywhere close to in love. It's Squall Ice-Prick Leonhart. He didn't even like Seifer. If Seifer walked away right now, Squall would just call a cab, or maybe walk home - it was a long walk, but Squall wouldn't have noticed. Seifer could dump Squall right then-and-there, no difference to Squall.
He was inside, looking out. Looking out at that smile on Seifer's face. Squall's fingers reached absently forward to touch Seifer's lips, to touch the smile. But if Seifer turned away, Squall would simply pull his hand back and live the same uncaring way he always did.
That didn't mean Squall would put off some effort to touch the smile, his hand was moving forward after all. To the smile, the bright blue eyes, blonde hair, and gorgeous body. Angelic, if Seifer wasn't such an asshole. Squall didn't care about Seifer's asshole traits, didn't bother him, didn't rouse his feelings. Squall just watched with eyes that hadn't been out in sunlight for years.
"You look seriously pissed, Griever," Victor said softly.
"I'm sorry!" Melissa said, shifting uncomfortably. "I believe you ain't!" she corrected her previous thoughts. "Damn! Sorry!"
Squall blinked off the expression, the mask breaking the glare while building ice-blocks over Squall's skin. His ever protected mask.
Squall turned up to Seifer, their hands still locked together. Seifer was smiling.
"And as for sex..." Squall said softly.
Seifer's smile vanished, eyes widening briefly. But he didn't have long to look at Squall with shock.
Squall reached up, hands on Seifer's neck as he pulled the blonde down into a passionate kiss. Squall's fingers moved up into Seifer's hair, eagerly grasping at the blonde locks.
Seifer hesitated for only a moment. Then he wrapped his arms around Squall, grabbing Squall's ass.
Squall's mouth beat against Seifer's. Their tongues pushing together, tasting each other. Squall's arms up around Seifer's shoulders, holding his blonde boyfriend tightly. Squall continued to move his hands eagerly over Seifer's cotton shirt, grinding his body harshly to Seifer.
Their mouths separated, and Seifer thought Squall was done. But Squall moved his kisses to the side of Seifer's lips, then to his cheek, and to Seifer's neck. Squall had kissed him this way last night, hungrily, passionately, hands moving over his body. Seifer was just surprised to see Squall jump onto him in public and do it. - Then again, this is Squall. Hadn't he shoved his tongue into Seifer's mouth because a teacher said they couldn't hug? Squall that didn't care what anyone thought.
One of Squall's hands was on Seifer's cheek, then up into Seifer's hair again. Mouth moving towards Seifer's chest, Squall's second hand pushing Seifer's shirt up, fingers gliding over the firm abs of Seifer's stomach. Then to Seifer's smooth chest, fingers pushing against Seifer's nipple.
Squall moved his mouth past the bunched-up shirt, bringing his tongue to the smooth chest. One hand holding Seifer's shirt up, the other hand running down Seifer's ribs. And Squall's lips: devouring the soft skin of Seifer's chest.
It took Seifer a moment to realize his back as pressed against a wall. Squall had moved him - without Seifer's realizing - four feet back.
Squall stopped bothering to hold Seifer's shirt up, moving both hands to the hips of the suede pants that covered Seifer's body. Squall's own gloved leather fingers pushed into the tight pants, touching the skin of Seifer's hips. Seifer's fingers wove into Squall's ash-brown hair.
Squall's mouth had moved to the lowest bare-skin he could find, and then he moved his mouth to Seifer's pants button, planning on an attempt at undoing it with only his mouth. But Seifer's fingers clenched in his hair with the sound of:
"Eh, we're on in like a minute." Gregory's voice.
Squall pushed back and stood up, gaze quickly joining with Seifer's. He then leaned forward and pressed his lips to Seifer's, kissing more gently then before. Seifer kissed back, lapping up with each touch of their lips.
Squall then stepped back, allowing Seifer away from the wall. Seifer walked forward, still shocked but unable to hold back a grin at Squall.
"And why didn't I fuck you last night?" Seifer asked, humor and desire mixed in with his words.
Squall took his normal pause to think about it before he came up with a shrug. Oddly large and childlike, which had been done for Seifer's benefit. Seifer laughed. He caressed Squall's cheek firmly then turned to join Gregory in heading to the stage. Except that the rest of Blood Kiss was staring slack-jawed.
"We going or what?" Seifer asked them.
They hesitantly moved forward, stealing glances back at Squall.
"Sweetheart," Seifer said after the stopped and turned back to Squall.
Squall waited.
"You can stand offstage if you want to," Seifer said. Most of his boyfriends and girlfriends liked to stand there. Though Seifer hadn't really been interested before (he was working!) he liked the idea of Squall standing there. Maybe give Seifer a few kisses between songs or when Seifer went back to get water?
Squall stepped forward, complying with Seifer's statement. Seifer smiled, holding his hand out for Squall to accept, then they walked together towards the stage. All the while Seifer trying to ignore his massive hard on, and the thoughts on how well his guitar might cover it up while he was out in front of a crowd.
Laguna sat at his desk in his home office. He was supposed to be doing work; reading these papers, thinking up a way to cut taxes, thinking over the train system that brought the world to Esthar through FH, and the South airport that needed to be revamped.
The words on the stacks of papers in front of Laguna were a sea. A sea of black on white, not even getting past the gaze in Laguna's eyes.
He was worried. Son still gone since yesterday. Friday morning Squall had gone to school, and then he was picked up by that blonde boy. And now - nothing.
There was a million questions that swirled through Laguna's mind, but he had no one to ask. He's spoken to Ellone about Squall, but she was adamant about saying anything. Like she was hiding something from Laguna.
That just worried Laguna further. Ellone knew something about Squall, perhaps that Squall was into drugs now or worse! Yet the girl wasn't saying anything, becoming agitated at the subject of Squall and the blonde - Seifer.
Laguna had the boy's first name, at least. Except that didn't give Laguna anything to work off of. Or any sort of mental ease.
Laguna had tried Squall's cellphone, but the phone was off. Laguna had left messages. Nothing in reply. So Laguna tried to work.
The papers still were nothing but lines of black on white, the problems that needed to be thought of around Esthar - as colossal as they were - wouldn't center in Laguna's mind.
Where was Squall?! When did the boy get a social life? Better yet, why did Squall suddenly want a social life? Squall must have; he was hanging around the blonde.
"Sir?" Kiros said. Laguna hadn't noticed the man enter the private home office.
Laguna sighed, sitting tall in his chair. "Don't suppose my boy called you?"
Kiros shook his head. "Sorry, President. Came to see how the Southside project notes looked. You've read them?"
Laguna shifted awkwardly in his chair, looking down at the open file in front of him. There sat the Southside project, but Laguna hadn't read a single word. Looking up, Laguna shook his head.
Kiros crossed the room and walked around the desk to stand next to Laguna.
"Here, sir," Kiros said, picking up the file. "I'll help you. You should think about something aside from your son, and you've got to get this work done."
Laguna nodded, sitting back in the leather chair.
Soft cords strummed on the guitar. It flowed, quiet in the blacken club.
Seifer's fingers hit the guitar again, then Victor's voice started up:
"I can't imagine to be like you... The pain and the sufferin' you put me through."
Seifer's soft background vocals then joined Victor as they repeated the lines:
"I can't imagine to be like you... The pain and the sufferin' you put me through..."
Everything then pounded up. Drums, guitars, and bass. Baring up into heavy beats, the club crowd below jumping with the thundered music that blasted through the speakers. Everything vibrated, lights swirling around the stage and crowd of dancing people.
Seifer stood to the left front of the stage, body rocking with the music, hands strumming the strings harshly. Victor was positioned next to Seifer, microphone in hand, singing as he rocked his body and bounce-danced to the music. Gregory pounded down on his drums center-back, with Hazen and Thoran right-stage dancing and bouncing around to the song.
Seifer glanced back to offstage, seeing Squall standing there in the darkness. Squall's eyes were focused on Seifer, as though he saw nothing else that went on. It was the same look Squall gave whenever he stared at something. Like he was either trying to figure it out, or didn't even see anything at all. Seifer had a hard time discerning what exactly Squall saw when he watched with those eyes.
At least Squall was watching. Focused. Eyes locked on Seifer; his body, his lips, his hands. Squall noticed every time he looked at Seifer how completely sexy the blonde was. It was out of place in Squall's mind to even notice something such as that. But he did. From Seifer's strong arms, to the thick legs, suede covered ass, and handsome smirk.
Blue-eyed God.
Seifer blinked away from his brief gaze at Squall to turn and scream into his mic: "Don't tell me!"
Victor started up the lyrics harder, his voice yelling through the speakers. "I can't imagine to be like you... All the pain and the sufferin' I go through. You surround yourself with evil... Every night all you have is unequal."
Seifer's backup voice yelled into the mic again: "Don't hesitate."
Squall's eyes watched Seifer's lips, studying the simple movement of the teen sing. Seifer could still feel Squall's eyes. Although he didn't look back, he remembered the look in Squall's eyes. Backstage where Squall had been starting Hyne knows what, really - those kisses that were leading somewhere else all together in a very public setting. Backstage had turned Seifer on enough. And now that young Ice Prince was watching with those intent eyes.
As Seifer had thought already: it was difficult to tell what Squall was really seeing. But having the attention from Squall, watching from offstage, the young brunette being attentive - Seifer felt a warm comfort.
Squall wasn't much of a boyfriend sometimes, but other times Squall's skills at being a lover were all but too much. And Seifer was Squall's first boyfriend. Squall didn't know quite how to act. Which made Seifer believe that after a long while of having Squall with him, he might be able to get Squall to be the perfect boyfriend - Just like the moment Squall blinked out of his gazed over state to glare at Melissa, then stimulate Seifer so much the blonde hadn't been able to see straight briefly.
"Or you'll live in your own hell," Victor sang, twirling around with a bounce until he was center stage, jumping into the air with the hard beat.
"Out of my way!" Seifer stepped up to the mic and sang again.
"You're surrounded by evil," Victor sang, moving to stand next to Thoran and dance there. Hazen moved to the edge of the stage, hand thumbing the thick bass strings.
"Don't hesitate!"
Squall briefly looked from his staring at Seifer, turning to glance around the entire stage. The thick smell of sweat - too many bodies packed in the same room - had been in the air from the moment Squall walked in. The smell just strengthened where Squall stood. And the lights that beamed onto the stage were warm - the heat with the music resonating backstage into the darkness.
Squall looked back to Seifer, seeing the colors of Seifer's clothing vibrating in the light. The red and black-grey colors sparkling almost. Black-grey jean pants with red flames rising up the pant legs, the red cotton shirt with the word "Hate" written in crimson-red, and black-grey shoes. Like a fire burning from ash until it was lit brightly.
Squall blinked up from his half-dazed state, listening to the music that he'd blocked out.
Victor's voice filled Squall's ears: "A dark cloud that follows you... Rainy days will always find you. You can never get away... Evil come another day."
The chorus repeated with Seifer's yelling: "Don't hesitate."
The music then calmed down into a soft near-solo guitar section.
Victor's voice came back after a few seconds, singing over the same lines again: "I can't imagine to be like you... the pain and the sufferin' you put me through. I can't imagine to be like you... the pain and the sufferin' you put me through."
Moments later of Squall's dazed-watching, the song ended. The crowd screamed their approval of the music.
Seifer glanced back to see Squall still watching him. Seifer smiled at Squall, winking.
Squall looked to the smile on Seifer's face, looking at the curves of the lips. He then looked up to Seifer's blue eyes, studying the deep color.
Seifer turned away, trying to force his smile at the youthful brunette away. He was supposed to be starting the next song.
+ "Bitch" by Sevendust is the song above