Prequel to Star Light
+ by Julie
+ rated NC-17 for explicit sexual scenes
+ yaoi content. Male/male having sex, getting each other off
+ parings: Squall/Seifer
+ disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or anything else... *le sigh*
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+ Chapter 16: Finally +Waking the next morning to lights streaming into the bedroom through the white nylon curtains, Squall inhaled the delicious scent of his lover. Gliding a hand over the smooth chest, Squall traced a finger along the muscle lines and bumps. His eyes opened to the sight of color in his barren room.
Seifer was still sleeping. It was an adjustment, the first time, when Squall'd woken up to seeing Seifer next to him. The adjustment had required no thought, just as being in Old Esthar as well as having a boyfriend. Squall never thought much into the details of his life. But, seeing Seifer laying in the large, white blankets of his bed, it was an adjustment in his barren life.
Seifer would be coming downstairs to see Laguna. Laguna plus Seifer equaled Squall's life to complicate itself.
But the thought of Laguna was easily washed away as Squall slid from the bed and stood. Naked, aching and suddenly very aware of his body, Squall felt a rush of blood hit his brain. Dizzy, Squall quickly set his mind back to knowing gravity. Breathing slowly, Squall turned and looked at Seifer laying in the white blankets alone.
The image of himself in Seifer's place imprinted itself into Squall's mind. He could see himself alone in the bed, in the room, as he'd always been during as far back as he could remember. Alone and unnoticing of his loneliness.
The image sat in Squall's mind, rolling over in thoughts. Blinking as he turned away, Squall's mind drew blank.
Squall stepped up to his dresser, not even noticing the white rose laying on the dark wood as he opened a drawer to get clothes.
Seifer shifted in the bed, feeling the cold from Squall's absence. Opening his eyes, Seifer turned to look for Squall. The boy was nude, pulling pants from a drawer. Seifer smiled.
"Morning," Seifer said.
Bringing his hands to waist level, holding the pants ready, Squall met eyes with Seifer. It wasn't a cold expression on Squall's face, it was simply the same empty expression he always wore.
Seifer's smile didn't falter at the emotionless boy, it was just how Squall was. Perfect Squall, who'd taken care of Seifer last night without pity. Squall didn't pity, and wouldn't. Squall had simply been a boyfriend, detached in ways, but very attached in other ways. Sex was great last night. Seifer had found comfort where he needed it; Squall had been in a normal calm even when facing Seifer getting beat by his father. Seifer needed that reaction, that normal calm.
Save pity for someone who needs it, Seifer sure didn't.
"Getting dressed already?" Seifer asked, watching Squall pull the tight leather pants up.
It was as though Seifer's words hit a pause button in Squall, the boy froze completely in mid-process. Not even a blink, or rising chest.
Moving to his side, Seifer propped himself up on an elbow and raised an eyebrow.
That set Squall back into motion. The brunette pealed his eyes away from Seifer to look down to his hands work at zipping the leather up. Raising his arms, Squall attempted to pat down his unkempt bed hair. He was oblivious of Seifer's watchful eyes.
The blonde boy simply smiled at Squall, watching the brunette's movements complete the clothing of a shirt. Seifer cocked his head to the side as he watched Squall lean over at times to open a drawer and then when Squall turn around looking mildly confused in his blank stare.
"Cub?" Seifer said.
Squall straightened his stance, eyes back to Seifer as he breathed through his moist parted lips.
"Your dad home?" Seifer asked.
Eyes darting back to the floor, Squall leaned over to pick up Seifer's jeans. Again he stood tall, raising his gaze.
"Probably," Squall answered, moving to hand Seifer his clothing.
Seifer tossed his legs from the covers and accepted his jeans. He was being kicked out. That was fine. Not like Squall would want to introduce his boyfriend to his father. Seifer stood and pulled up the worn jeans.
About to lean down and pick up his shirt, Seifer's eyes caught sight of the white rose that blended well with the room. Seifer found himself thinking perhaps he should have bought a red rose. Sure, it meant more than the white one, but it looked as though Squall had enough blank in his life.
"My Fire."
The words startled Seifer almost. He turned to see Squall was waiting next to the bedroom door.
"You're going to fed me too?" Seifer asked. A coy grin and arched eyebrow made up the smirking expression Seifer wore to hide the uncertainty he felt about his situation.
Squall waited without movement.
Seifer crossed his arms. "I might meet your daddy."
Again, no movement.
Seifer silently wished he could tell Squall "Naw, I'm just going to go," sneak out the bedroom widow and sprint back to the safety of his truck. Here was supposed to be a safe haven for Seifer, and it was, except the whole daddy-thing. Seifer didn't want to the President of Esthar to meet the boy screwing his son. What an introduction that would be.
"They serve breakfast on gold plates here?" The words jumped out of Seifer's mouth as his feet carried him confidentially forward. Not that Seifer was so willing to go, his body just worked well most of the time -- making Seifer look more assured than he was.
The bedroom door opened and Seifer followed Squall down the long hallway, to the lover level.
Laguna sat at the kitchen table, reading over the daily newspaper, Esthar Bite Bug ("Get bit by the Bite Bug.") It was early in the morning, before Squall and Ellone would have to leave for school. Laguna's late night with his son had kept him up for a while, but he'd managed to fall asleep and get at least a few hours of rest.
Like most mornings, Laguna was still wearing his PJs (a flannel gunblade-decorated pants and t-shirt set.) A cup of coffee in his right hand, eyes reading the funnies held in his left.
"Dad?" Ellone's voice interrupted Laguna's reading.
Glancing up while lowering the paper, Laguna saw his daughter and smiled. "Ellie, sweetie? What can I do for you?"
"Ashley asked me yesterday if I could go up to the mountain cabin her parents just gave her," Ellone said. "This weekend?"
Laguna nodded, still smiling. "Of course, Ellie." He turned back down to the paper. "So long as you get to school Monday."
Ellone smiled happily. She hopped closer to her father and leaned down to hug him tight. Laguna half-hugged back, patting one of Ellone's arms.
Standing tall, Ellone turned and started out of the kitchen. When she reached the doorway she bumped right into a shirtless, muscular chest.
"Sorry," she said while glancing up.
A blonde boy looked down to her, a smirk on his handsome face. "No prob."
Ellone gasped, stepping backwards. Her eyes had widened at the sight of the boy -- she knew him to be Seifer Almasy, aka Squall's boyfriend. And there the boy stood, only wearing baggy jeans and that smirk.
Seifer side-stepped Ellone, heading further into the kitchen. Squall slipped into the kitchen after Seifer, but went unnoticed under her sister's shocked, locked gaze.
Seifer's confidence didn't wither in the presence of the recognizable President, his confidence was already at a semi-low state. The outward smug layer Seifer had stayed in place, though, looking relaxed as he headed to the kitchen table.
Laguna had lowered his paper at the sound of Seifer's voice. Watching the large blonde walk to the table, followed by Squall, Laguna was distracted from noticing his gawking daughter.
"Ah, hello?" Laguna said with a small smile. He took a guess. "Seifer?"
There was a pause in Seifer, a blush creeping slowly up the creamy cheeks, then his slow words formed. "Yeah. Seifer Almasy." He extended his hand.
Accepting the greeting, Laguna shook Seifer's hand while widening his smile. "So you're my son's one and only friend?"
Seifer took a seat in one of the chairs at the kitchen table, making sure he was closer to Squall than Laguna. Seifer was slightly surprised that Laguna knew his name, and the blonde doubted Squall confided in his father about anything. It was perhaps Squall's older sister that mentioned Seifer to Laguna. But in Laguna's reaction to Seifer, perhaps not completely mentioned him.
"I guess so," Seifer said. His confidence was inwardly building itself back up. Laguna seemed, in the most water-downed sense, harmless.
With Seifer's answer, Laguna's interest was completely enveloped in Seifer and Squall; the paper and coffee completely forgotten. Laguna leaned forward on the table, eyes bright and hands woven together.
"So, wow!" Laguna said. "You get alone with my son? I mean, he talks to you? What dose he say? What do you two do? What does he like to do? Does he really speak? You hang out only the two of you, or are there more boys? You took him to a football game, I heard. Did he like that?"
Seifer opened his mouth, about to give an "um" reply, but another man spoke softly.
"Something to drink, sir?"
Looking to his right, Seifer saw a man dressed in a grey suit. Sir? Seifer stole a quick glance at Squall, who had a glass of orange juice, before darting his eyes back to what he guessed was the servant.
"Um.... Milk?" Seifer said.
The servant nodded and turned away.
"Milk does a body good, huh?" Laguna said with a chuckle.
It took a second for Seifer to process Laguna's joke. A soft growl came from Squall's throat. Behind Seifer, Ellone called out.
"Dad!" Ellone said. She'd been standing in the doorway, staring.
"What?" Laguna said to his daughter with a small shrug. Looking back to Seifer, who'd started laughing, Laguna raised an eyebrow. "I mean, obviously, right?" He motioned to Seifer's bare chest.
"Yeah," Seifer said as he continued to laugh.
The milk was set down in front of Seifer quietly, without much notice.
"Dad!" Ellone exclaimed again, stepping back into the kitchen. "Do you know who Seifer is?!"
Laguna briefly looked confused at his daughter before his gaze adjusted back to Seifer. Seifer's laughter lower to a chuckle as he picked up his milk to drink.
"You're not Seifer?" Laguna asked.
"He is Dad!" Ellone said. "But do you know who this boy is?"
Ellone's attempt at outing Squall and Seifer was only confusing Laguna. Sitting back and watching, Seifer waited with light amusement. Perhaps it was just meeting Laguna, but Seifer wasn't worried in the least about SeeD arresting him. He'd seen the picture of Laguna with Squall (Baby turned 15), but meeting the man in person made Seifer understand how Squall could be annoyed by him. Laguna was completely harmless, and all too amusing. Laguna's answer to Seifer dating Squall would probably be Oh, my son's dating? Really? So that does mean he talk to you? That only amused Seifer more.
"Seifer is...." Ellone tried, holding her hands up as he motioned to the large blonde.
Laguna stared at his daughter. "Seifer is....?" he repeated.
"He's Squall's...." Ellone just couldn't form the word "boyfriend."
Laguna wasn't any help, he continued to be confused. "Friend?"
"Seifer is Squall's...."
"Boyfriend," Seifer said the word for Ellone.
"Oh," Laguna said with a nod before his eyes grew wide. "Wait! Boyfriend?"
"As in lover," Seifer confirmed, picking up his milk to take another sip.
Laguna turned quickly to Squall, who'd, during the protest of his sister, finished half of his orange juice. Squall's ever-blank expression ensued under his father's bemused eyes. Knowing it would take too much time to get a conformation from his son, Laguna brought his eyes back to Seifer.
"Squall's gay?" Laguna asked.
Seifer was about to answer in the affirmative, but Laguna quickly spoke again.
"Well, yeah," Laguna said to himself, motioning his hands to his own chest. "Pretty obvious, Laguna."
"What are you doing here?" Ellone said, placing herself in the middle of the conversation. Her tone was unfriendly, eyes narrowed.
Seifer frowned back at her. "That ain't your business."
"Ellone," Laguna said then turned his attention to his son's boyfriend. "So...W-when did you get here?"
"Listen, Mr. President," Seifer said in a plain tone.
"No need for formalities," Laguna replied, but Seifer ignored him.
"I had a problem," Seifer said, "back at home. I didn't know where else to go, and I thought of Griever."
"Griever?" Laguna said.
"Squall's nickname," Seifer muttered, pulling his hands off the table as an empty plate was set down in front of him.
"Okay," Laguna said as he shook his head. "What problem did you have? Are you alright?"
"Yeah," Seifer said, distracted as he watched the servants set food down on the table; plates of eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes, and other breakfast items to help himself to. "Yeah," Seifer repeated, turning back to Laguna. "It's just a domestic problem."
Laguna's eyebrows raised, concern forming over his face.
"Hey!" Seifer quickly said. "Don't give a fuck. I'm fine. I just won't see my asshole father again."
"What happened with your father?" Laguna asked.
Seifer shifted awkwardly. "Listen, no big deal. Just another day in Old Esthar."
Laguna opened his mouth to speak, but Seifer spoke again.
"Cub."
Squall turned up from his dazed state picking with his fork at his scrambled eggs.
"I think I'm just going to go," Seifer said, putting his hands on the edge of the table to scoot his chair back from the table.
"Seifer," Laguna said..
"Mr. President," Seifer said, "I just got to go. I have school and shit."
Turning from the table, Seifer walked to the kitchen doorway.
Squall stood from the table and followed Seifer without word. Once they had left the room, Squall moved in front of Seifer and led him upstairs to get the rest of his clothing.
"What happened?" Laguna asked Squall.
Squall stopped his movement towards the garage. Dressed now in his school uniform, Seifer gone, Squall was going to go to school. But Laguna wanted a conversation. He came to the wrong person, really.
Squall blankly looked at his father.
"Squall!" Laguna said, his eyes filled with concern. "What happened to Seifer last night? What's going.... Please! Please. Just, tell me what's going on."
Stepping closer to his father, who was still clothed in his gunblade PJs, Squall placed his palm onto Laguna's chest.
"Seifer's..." Squall began, "my boyfriend."
Laguna nodded. "Well, why didn't you tell me about your boyfriend?"
Squall took his hand back. "Seifer... is my...."
"Yes, your boyfriend," Laguna said with a sigh. "I know. But why didn't you tell me? What's.... Our relationship isn't too good, Squall. Last night I thought we were finally getting somewhere, that you were beginning to allow me in. And now I find out that you've a lot more in your life that I haven't a clue about."
"My life," Squall said.
"That's it, huh?" Laguna replied.
Hovering his gaze over Laguna's face for a while longer, Squall gave himself a last look before turning away. As he adjusting the side-bag strap on his shoulder, Squall continued back to the garage.
"What happened to him?" Laguna asked.
Squall stopped, turning only his head but not looking back. "Father... and a bat."
Laguna just stared at his son's back, allowing the words to sink in.
"My First Aid Kit," Squall mumbled, "needs Potion Syringe."
With that, Squall started to the garage once more, disappearing around the corner from Laguna's view.
Frowning to himself, Laguna imagined how badly Seifer could have been hurt to need a Potion shot. Of course, it couldn't have been life-or-death, but it was certainly some broken bones.
Squall had a lot he hid from Laguna, Seifer was evidence of that. It worried Laguna how much he actually didn't know about Squall. What else did the boy hide?
Seifer didn't go to school. Fuck school, he was just kicked out of his house. He didn't have time for school. His life was in shambles. He nearly ran away from his boyfriend this morning. Talking to Laguna, Seifer had heard his heart pounding between his ears. He didn't want the President to know how worthless he was.
His own father beat him, mother robbed him. His actual real parents had abandoned him long ago. They knew when he was a baby how worthless he was.
If the President found out how fucked up Seifer was, Seifer would never see Squall again.
Not that Seifer hadn't given Laguna reason to keep Squall away. Seifer had projected the image of a total failure in a matter of minutes of talking to Laguna.
It wasn't a lack of confidence in himself, Seifer completely believed in himself. He didn't like pity, didn't believe he should ever get it. He didn't want it. He simply wanted to earn his dream life. Blood Kiss.
What a time to think about his band, but Seifer wasn't able to separate Squall from Blood Kiss anymore. With meeting the President, Seifer felt like a low-class white-trash bastard. Thanks, Micht, for those words of inspiration from when I was a kid.
It was that Seifer wanted to put his life together and show Laguna that he was an okay guy. It was a sudden rush to prove himself. Maybe because Laguna was Squall's father, or maybe because Laguna was an adult. Seifer didn't have caring adults in his life. Sure, there were teachers but with Seifer's attendance and school-initiative, teachers weren't a big part of his life. Parents sucked. There was no one else.
Squall had what Seifer wanted: money, respect, and a family. Squall was Seifer's boyfriend, but Seifer wasn't a large part of Squall's life. Seifer wanted to be.
First, he needed a place to live. Once he had an apartment, something crappy would do -- he just needed a place to stay, Seifer would actually have a foundation. He needed to work hard on Blood Kiss, make them a success, Squall would see Seifer wasn't a white-trash bastard.
Squall gave Seifer the chance to be more than he was. Squall, with all his inabilities in life, was worth Seifer's attention. Worth waiting those three masturbation-filled weeks for sex (which wasn't that long, but with Seifer's record it was), Squall was worth Seifer waiting, working hard, giving time. Squall was worth the time Seifer gladly put in to being with the brunette.
Stepping out of the limo with Ellone, Squall saw the steps leading up to the private school.
Ellone hadn't said anything to Squall during the ride and Squall didn't bother to think much of it.
About to take a step up, Ellone's voice stopped him.
"You like being with that guy?" Ellone asked.
Squall shifted his body to face Ellone. Of course there wasn't a reply.
"C'mon, Squall!" Ellone said. "You're gay! Don't you have anything to say about it?"
His breath was steady, slow, gliding in and out through his parted lips. Breathing was all Squall did, his sister's voice a faded whisper to his ears.
Shaking her head, Ellone gave up. She turned from Squall and walked up the stairs to the school.
When Ellone stepped from Squall's gaze, he didn't lower it. His eyes stayed in the locked dazed state looking out into the air. Moments fled before Squall blinked his dry eyes. The limo had gone and Ellone had vanished over the horizon line at the top of the stairs.
Squall turned to look at all the students walking away from their expensive cars, holding books to their chests, laughing and talking to each other wearing the copycat uniforms. Eyes flickered to Squall, voices lowered and there were whispers.
His body swayed towards the school before Squall raised a leg and let his foot hover off the curb. Then he stepped down to the parking lot and crossed it, away from the school.