(Title comes up on a background of the floor of the freezer strewn with
half-eaten meat products. The title fades away and the camera pans up to
show that the one who was eating in the freezer is Geshy, the genetically
modified mascot of Clone High's rival GESH. He has a large butchered cow
clenched in his secondary mouth below his long green tube-like mouth.
Camera shifts to show a stunned Abe and a happy Gandhi.)
Gandhi: Geshy!
(Geshy spits out the cow.)
Geshy: Gandhi!
(Gandhi and Geshy rush toward each other and hug.)
Gandhi: How ya been, buddy?
Abe: What's he doing here?
Gandhi: Yeah Geshy, whatcha doing in here, man?
Geshy: Candy gone! Geshy look for candy.
Gandhi: Oh so the animals left the forest so you came here looking for food.
Abe: How could he have gotten in when the school's in lockdown?
Gandhi: Maybe he snuck in here before the power went out.
Abe: Or maybe he's the one who Scudworth saw in the air duct! Maybe he's the one who scared everyone last night.
Gandhi: A-dude, how could you think about Geshy that way? He may be predatory. But he's not a psychotic madman. And I'm his friend so he wouldn't dress up my room like a slaughterhouse. (Bleep) it, I don't think he knows what a slaughterhouse looks like.
Abe: Well, you may be right. But let's keep an eye on him. Just in case.
Gandhi: Come on, Geshy. We're hunting down a monster.
Geshy: (nervous tone) Woo loo loo loo loo.
Gandhi: Don't chicken out on me, Geshy. We've got tranquilizer guns and you've got a mouth full of sharp teeth. We can beat this thing. No psycho will get the best of Lincoln, Gandhi and Geshy!
(A loud roar is heard from outside the kitchen along with the sounds of Joan and Marie screaming.)
Abe: The girls! They're in trouble!
(Abe and Gandhi rush to the door. Geshy follows behind them. Scene shifts to the other side of the kitchen doors. Gandhi kicks them open and the two clones and Geshy walk in. Abe shines his flashlight up and gasps. Camera shifts to an open air vent in the ceiling. The camera pans down to show a puddle of blood with a pair of trails leading to the right. Almost like a wheelchair had run through the blood. The camera pans to the right following the trails out the double doors which are swinging.)
Gandhi: Seems instead of us getting the drop on the creature, it got the drop on the girls. Literally.
Abe: It can't have gone far. After it!
(Abe runs toward the doors with Gandhi and Geshy following close behind him. They all run out. Scene shifts to the hallways. All of them are following the trails of blood. After a few moments, they stop. Camera zooms in on their faces as they gasp. Camera shifts to a view of the still unconscious JFK lying on the ground next to the trails which have made a right turn. Abe rushes up and slaps JFK in the face several times.)
Abe: Wake up, Kennedy!
(JFK's eyes open.)
JFK: Er uh what? Oh Lincoln! It was horrible. Cleo and I encountered the monster. And this is no loony in a costume. This is a real freakin' monster with fangs, claws, and a lot of tentacles. It wasn't natural. Anyway, I tried to fight it off. But it overpowered me.
Abe: Where's Cleo?
JFK: I don't know. Most likely she's become the monster's next meal.
(Abe shines his flashlight along the trails of blood. Camera shifts to his point of view as he traces the trails up to the next corner. The trails have now gone to the right. Camera focuses back on Abe.)
Abe: There's only one place it could have gone: the gym. Come on, guys. Let's go save them.
(Abe runs forward. But stops when he hears Gandhi.)
Gandhi: Sorry, Abe.
(Abe turns around with a stunned look on his face. Camera shifts to Gandhi who is holding Geshy in his arms. They are both shivering. JFK has his arms around them both.)
Abe: What's the matter, you guys?
Gandhi: Sorry, man. But Geshy and I are just too scared now that we know that this thing is a real monster.
JFK: I'm er uh scared too. I'm too charming and handsome to die! I haven't even gotten all the way through my list!
Abe: Gandhi, JFK and Geshy, let me tell you something. I'm scared too. But there's another monster under the roof of this school that scares me even more.
(This comment causes the three of them to jump.)
Gandhi and JFK: Where?!
Geshy: (panicked tone) Woo loo loo loo loo!
Abe: This beast has a name and that name is cowardice. And if we don't go into that gym to save the women we love, that beast will eat us alive.
Gandhi: And if we go into that gym, dawg, we'll be eaten alive by the beast in there.
Abe: I don't care. If we stay out here, there's a one hundred percent chance that cowardice will eat us alive. But if we go into the gym, there's a slim chance that we won't get eaten alive. I'm not going to abandon Joan, not after all the pain and suffering I caused her. And I'm definitely not abandoning Marie and Cleo either. You guys can do what you want. But I'm going into that gym and facing that monster to get my girlfriend back.
(Abe turns around and walks down the hallway. Camera shifts back to Gandhi, JFK, and Geshy. They look at each other. Scene shifts to the gym doors. Abe is about to open it when he hears Gandhi's voice.)
Gandhi: Abe?
(Abe turns around and sees Gandhi, JFK and Geshy looking determined.)
Gandhi: You can count on me, Abe. The real Gandhi may not have been the fighting type. But I'll bet you anything he wouldn't have backed down when the woman he loved was in danger. Are you with me too, Geshy?
Geshy: (happy tone) Woo loo loo loo loo!
JFK: I'll help too. Because I don't want the entire school saying that I'm a coward. No chick would ever come to my van again. No one wants to bed with a sissy.
Abe: Thanks guys and Geshy. Now let's go save the girls!
(Scene shifts to the interior of the gym. The camera is on the doors. Gandhi and Geshy kick it open. Abe, Gandhi and JFK have their guns ready.)
JFK: There's something I should tell you. But I can't seem to remember what it is.
(Abe shines his flashlight around the gym until he suddenly stops. He and the others gasp. Camera changes to the gym floor. On it are Joan, Marie, and Cleo. They are covered and lying in an immense pool of blood. Their eyes are closed and they are not moving. Abe rushes over to Joan's side, Gandhi to Marie, and JFK to Cleo. Geshy just stands at the edge of the pool with a sad look on his face.)
Abe: Joan! Wake up!
Gandhi: Marie, open your eyes.
JFK: Come on, Cleo. Don't do this to me!
(Abe picks up Joan in his arms. Her body is limp. It looks like she has become a victim of the Matt Monster.)
Abe: Oh Joan. I can't believe the last thing we had was a disagreement. But I was just trying to apologize for all I've done to you. I hurt you so much since the beginning of the year since I was going after Cleo. I was so smitten with her that I was completely oblivious to how you felt. Now two weeks after finally coming to my senses, it's over. This blood might as well be the blood of my heart. Because it's broken now that the one person who cared for me is gone.
(Abe starts to cry. He holds Joan's body close to him.)
Abe: Joan, come back to me.
Joan: I don't need to come back. Because I never left.
(Abe's eyes open wide and he pulls Joan away to face him. Her eyes have opened and she is smiling despite her face being half covered in blood.)
Abe: Joan, you're alive!
Joan: The blood's fake. Like all the other blood we've found.
Abe: Oh Joan. I've been such the fool.
Joan: Yes, you have, Abe. You should've known that you never had to try and stay on my good side. I forgave you at the prom, remember?
Abe: Yes. I remember.
Joan: From now on, let's just go with our relationship in a less-smothering way. Let's just be a regular couple. Who are clones of some of two of the greatest historical heroes.
(Abe and Joan lean in to each other about to have their first kiss when suddenly, Cleo's angry voice rings out.)
Cleo: Not again!
(Abe and Joan look to the left. Camera focuses on Cleo who is writhing in anger while a startled JFK looks on.)
Cleo: Covered in fake blood again! Does that creature realize how long it takes for me to get this stuff out of my hair?
(Camera focuses on Gandhi with Marie who has woken up.)
Gandhi: Man, this guy loves his fake blood. By the way, where is the creature?
Marie: I have no idea, Gandhi. The last thing I remember was searching the cafeteria with Joan. Then we hear something hit the floor from above. Before we could get a good look at it, something slapped us in the back of our heads.
Gandhi: That means the monster could be anywhere in the school.
(Camera pans back to show all six of the clones. Suddenly, a low growl is heard.)
Joan: Uh guys. I think it's still here.
(Abe takes out his flashlight and shines it over the gym. He stops at a row of bleachers which are pulsating as if there is something behind it. Suddenly, something bursts through the bleachers. Camera focuses on the clones and Geshy whose eyes are now beholding the horrible monstrosity. They all scream. Camera focuses on the Matt Monster. He has changed significantly. He has grown to the size of a T-Rex. The tentacles that make up his lower half have gotten bigger. His head has changed greatly. It is now similar to the monster from Alien. The only difference is that it has a pair of red eyes on the front and two large black ox horns on the sides of it's head.. Surprisingly, it is still wearing the black framed glasses. His body has also taken on a muscular tone. His cloak dangles on his back. To sum it all up, he's a combination of the Alien, the Lord of Darkness from Legend, and Audrey Two from Little Shop of Horrors. The Matt Monster roars at the clones.)
Joan: Since when do monsters wear glasses?
JFK: Don't know and I don't wanna stick around to found out!
Abe: Yeah! After seeing this creature, I think I'd rather been eaten alive by the beast called cowardice.
(The clones and Geshy run for the door. But they are intercepted by tentacles.)
Joan: I think he wants us to stick around for dinner.
Gandhi: Well, no one eats the G-man.
(Gandhi turns toward the Matt Monster with his gun aimed at it.)
Gandhi: Well, monster (bleep). Think you can get away with scaring me and my buds? Well, prepare to face the wrath of Tandoori Jones a.k.a. Tan of Black and Tan. Eat tranq darts!
(Gandhi fires his tranquilizer gun. Camera focuses on the Matt Monster as the tranquilizer darts enter his chest. The Matt Monster's eyes furrow in anger and he lets out a roar. Camera shifts to very confused looking Gandhi.)
JFK: Oh, I probably should have mentioned this earlier. The er uh tranq darts don't work on this monster.
(Gandhi looks at JFK angrily and then pushes him toward the Matt Monster.)
Gandhi: Eat him!
(JFK looks up in terror as the Matt Monster grabs him with his claw. The Matt Monster pulls JFK toward him and roars in his face.)
JFK: Please let this work.
(JFK kicks the Matt Monster between his lower tentacles where his crotch would normally be. The Matt Monster doesn't flinch.)
JFK: Aw nuts! He doesn't have it. Poor guy.
(The Matt Monster growls. JFK screams. Suddenly, the Matt Monster looks like it's about to throw up.)
Joan: Looks like it's about to be sick.
(The Matt Monster makes a retching noise and a long, tubular tongue sprouts out of his mouth.)
Cleo: Or it's just sprouted another appendage it can kill us with.
Gandhi: Geshy! Sic' it!
Geshy: Woo loo loo!
(Geshy runs forward toward the Matt Monster with his secondary mouth open. He leaps and bites the Matt Monster's arm. The Matt Monster yells in pain. His arm falls off leaving a bloodied stump. JFK and other half fall to the ground. JFK crawls out of the severed arms' grasp.)
JFK: Hey, bald nerd. Thanks.
Gandhi: I ordered Geshy to sic' it. Not save you.
JFK: Why you!
Abe: Guys, this is no time for a fight. Well, maybe it is a time for a fight. But against that thing, not each other!
Joan: Well, if the tranquilizer guns don't work, then maybe this will.
(Joan pulls out her stun gun.)
Marie: Yeah! And we can use the guns as clubs. It should be easier to fight now that it's lost an arm.
(The Matt Monster growls as his healing powers kick in and his arm regenerates. The clones gasp.)
Abe: Okay, no turning around and fleeing. Only the six of us and Geshy or the monster gets out of here alive. Because that monster is our fear and it's time to face it!
(Scene then shifts to Mr. Butlertron in the power room. Scudworth still lies unconscious.)
Mr. B: Finally, this should get the power back on.
(He reaches up and pulls down a lever. Scene shifts back to the gym. The lights immediately turn on. The Matt Monster gasps and covers his eyes with his hands.)
Marie: It hates light!
Abe: That's why it cut the power. It can only stand the darkness.
JFK: It's er uh like a freakin' vampire!
(The Matt Monster then uncovers his eyes and let's out an even louder roar. All of them scream. More tentacles sprout from the Matt Monster's back.)
Joan: Can't we catch a break? Every time we think we've found its weakness, it proves us wrong. It can regenerate. It sprouts more stuff. And it doesn't matter if it's in the light or dark.
(Abe puts his hand on Joan's shoulder.)
Abe: Joan, if we don't survive this fight, I'll be glad I went at the same time as my girlfriend.
(Joan smiles at her boyfriend.)
Cleo: Don't make me gag. Let's just fight the (bleep) thing!
(The clones and Geshy charge at the Matt Monster. Camera focuses on Joan plunging her stun gun into one of the Matt Monster's tentacles and presses the button. Electricity surges through the Matt Monster's body and he screams in pain. Camera focuses on Abe, JFK and Cleo clubbing at the tentacles. Camera focuses on Geshy who is snapping at the tentacles. Camera focuses on Gandhi and Marie who are whacking the tentacles away.)
Marie: It's not showing any signs of relenting.
Gandhi: Just keep it up!
Marie: Gandhi, if we never get out of this alive, I want you to know that I love you and I'm sorry for kicking you off the dance squad because of your ADD.
Gandhi: That's all in the past, my love.
(Camera focuses on the Matt Monster's tentacles. They reach out and grab the clones by their feet. Camera pulls back to a wide shot of the Matt Monster who is dangling the clones upside down. He makes a sound like evil laughter. The clones scream as he jerks them up and down. The Matt Monster's tongue rears up and the tip splits into a mouth of teeth.)
Abe: Well everyone, it's been a pleasure monster hunting with you.
(The Matt Monster continues to roar. Camera focuses on Joan. She isn't screaming.)
Joan: (thinking) Something's not right here. This monster clearly has everything he needs to finish us off. But so far, it hasn't even tried to kill us despite growing more dangerous appendages. All it's been doing is roaring, acting horrifying and scaring us out of our wits. And it seems every time we scream, it becomes even more monstrous and grows more appendages. (out loud) That's it! Guys! Stop screaming!
Gandhi: It's a little hard to not scream, Joan when you're dangling from the tentacle of a horrible monster!
Joan: Just stop screaming. It can't be trying to kill us or it would have done it by now. If we don't scream, it'll probably stop.
(The clones stop screaming, The Matt Monster roars. The clones don't react. The Matt Monster looks confused. He roars again. Abe looks like he's trying to be brave. Gandhi covers his mouth. Cleo tries to keep a straight face. Marie keeps her eyes closed. The Matt Monster looks sad. Joan smiles.)
Joan: It's working! He's not getting the proper reaction so he's lost interest.
(JFK takes his gun and whacks the Matt Monster in the back of his head. The Matt Monster growls in pain as it falls forward.)
JFK: Take that, monster (bleep)!
(The Matt Monster falls onto the gym floor, knocked out. The clones push themselves out of the tentacles. Cleo stands next to the Matt Monster's unconscious head.)
Cleo: It's over, Of Arc! I've won the bet and you have to keep one hundred yards away from Abe for a month.
Joan: You didn't beat the monster. JFK did.
Cleo: Yes. But he was on my team.
JFK: And later, I'll get my reward.
Cleo: So, ta-ta Of Arc. I'll take care of Abe.
(Joan hangs her head in sadness.)
Abe: Wait a minute, Cleo. The agreement was that she had to stay away from me for one hundred yards. But that doesn't mean I have to stay away from her.
Cleo: But.but.
Abe: No buts, Cleo. This agreement won't work because I'm not staying away from my Joanie.
(Joan hugs Abe. Cleo gets angry.)
Cleo: Fine! At least I'll still look like a hero. I can see the headline now, QUEEN OF THE NILE CLONE CAPTURES EXCLAMATION BOOGEYMAN. I'll be famous nationwide.
(Cleo laughs as she reaches down and picks up one of the Matt Monster's claws without looking at it.)
Cleo: How does this look on the front page?
Abe, Joan, Gandhi, Marie, JFK and Geshy: (gasps)
Cleo: What? Jealous?
(Cleo looks at the claw and finds it has turned into a human hand. She gasps and drops it. Camera shifts to an overhead view of the motionless Matt Monster. Everything has started to shrink inwards. His head is changing shape. His tentacles are retreating back into his body. His lower tentacles are reshaping into human legs. Soon, the Matt Monster ceases to exist and has reverted into Matt Frankenclone. His back is covered by the cloak. Camera shifts to the surprised clones standing over Matt Frankenclone's body.)
Abe: Okay, that was weird.
Joan: What's going on? This monster has just turned into a human.
(Mr. Butlertron wheels in from the left.)
Mr. B: Oh my. Thank goodness he has reverted back to normal. I hope he's not seriously hurt.
Abe: Mr. Butlertron? You know something about this monster?
Mr. B: He's no monster. His name is Matt Frankenclone. And if you will let me tell you about him, I'm sure you might look at him a little differently.
(Time passes as Mr. Butlertron tells his story. At the end, the clones look stunned.)
Gandhi: Whoa! That's harsh. So this dude is some kind of super-clone?
Abe: Created to be an ultimate horror actor?
Mr. B: Yes. He only scares people because he cannot help it.
Gandhi: So I guess I was right. He is a genetics experiment. One that went a little too well if you ask me.
Joan: Poor guy. Imagine forcing yourself to be alone for all time because you don't want to scare people.
Mr. B: He has tried to keep the urges under control. But I'm afraid that the urges recently overcame him.
Cleo: Who cares if he cannot help it? This guy covered me in fake blood three times! I say we turn him over to the police who can get him a nice science lab where he can spend the rest of his life.
JFK: Er uh yeah!
(Abe, Joan, Gandhi, Marie, Geshy, and Mr. B. step between Cleo and JFK and Matt.)
Joan: You're so shallow, Cleo. If it wasn't for Matt Frankenclone, we'd still be frozen in the freezer. And it's obvious from what Mr. B has told us that he's got a lot of problems. Maybe all he needs is some friends.
(Cleo seethes in anger.)
Cleo: If you want to be friends with that freak, then be my guest. But don't come crying to me when he loses control, turns into a monster and tries to eat you.
(Cleo turns around and heads for the doors. JFK runs after her.)
JFK: Wait! Cleo! Back of my van, remember?
(Cleo and JFK leave the gym. The clones, Geshy and Mr. Butlertron turn their attention to the still unconscious Matt Frankenclone.)
Abe: Where's Principal Scudworth?
Mr. B: He's still unconscious in the power room. He got attacked. But he wasn't killed. I'll go attend to him.
(Mr. Butlertron wheels out of the gym.)
Gandhi: What are going to do with him once he awakens?
Abe: I don't know. But I think we should do something.
(Matt starts to stir. He rolls onto his back revealing that he's wearing nothing at all. His privates are blurred out in a camera effect.)
Joan: Guys, he's waking up!
Marie: Let's do up his cloak.
(Joan and Marie do up Matt's cloak. Camera zooms in on Matt's face. He groans as his eyes flitter. Camera shifts his blurred point of view. Slowly, the images of Abe, Joan, Gandhi, and Marie come into focus. Camera refocuses on Matt whose eyes have opened wide. He gasps and backs away from the clones. The clones approach him.)
Matt: Please! Don't hurt me! I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I have done. I couldn't help scaring you.
(Matt starts to sob and places his face in his hands. Joan comes up to him and crouches down.)
Joan: Don't cry, Matt Frankenclone. Mr. Butlertron's told us everything. You've been through a lot haven't you?
Matt: Please Miss Of Arc! Just take me somewhere where I can't hurt anybody ever again!
(Abe and Gandhi pick up Matt Frankenclone by his arms.)
Abe: Oh we're taking you somewhere all right.
(Abe and Gandhi lead Matt out of the gym. Joan and Marie follow.)
Gandhi: You go back to the forest, Geshy. I'll see you later.
Geshy: Bye Gandhi!
(Geshy runs through the wall.)
Matt: Just turn me over to the police. I'd be better off locked up.
(Scene shifts to an outside view of the Grassy Knoll. It is evening. Scene then shifts to the interior. Joan, Gandhi, Marie and Matt are sitting in a semicircle booth. Matt is in the center. Joan is sitting on his right. Marie and Gandhi are on his left. Abe comes in with a tray of drinks. He places one in front of each of his friends before giving one to Matt.)
Abe: Have a smoothie, Matt. On me.
(Abe sits down next to Joan. Matt is unsure of what to make of this kind gesture.)
Matt: I expected you guys to take me to the police. Instead you take me to your favorite hangout for smoothies? Aren't you angry and revenge-thirsty for what I have done?
Joan: Well, Matt. You have done some pretty horrible things. But you rescued us from the freezer and I think that pretty much overshadows all the bad things you have done. Besides, the bad things are not totally your fault.
Matt: I'm sorry. It's just that the urges overcome me so much. Sometimes it's just minor things like scribbling horrifying messages in my fake blood.
Gandhi: And a horrifying message it was that you left in the meat locker, dude.
Matt: And whenever I hear a great deal of screams of terror or go under periods of really strong emotion, they trigger my transformation into a monster.
Marie: You mean, you don't have any control over the transformations?
Matt: Oh no. I have some control. I can produce tentacles from my fingers and sometimes grow fangs.
Gandhi: Wow! Can I see?
Joan: Gandhi! This isn't exactly the time and place. Anyway Matt, in spite of all the bad things you have done, we forgive you.
Abe: Yeah, Matt. Sure there's a lot of turmoil in your mind. But the darkness within your mind haven't affected your heart. Because if they did, you would definitely be a true monster. But I believe the light of friendship will illuminate that darkness and the urges to scare will cease to exist. So Matt, welcome to our circle of friends.
(Matt looks around at the smiling clones. He sniffles and a single tear drops from his eye.)
Matt: Thanks, Abe, Joan, Gandhi and Marie. I never had true friends before.
Marie: Well, you've got them now, Matt.
Gandhi: Now that I see it another way, I actually think your transformation is kind of cool.
Matt: Really?
Gandhi: Yeah, dawg. And I've got an idea for next Halloween. We make a haunted house, charge people to go in and then you scare them in your monstrous form. We'll be rich.
Matt: Not interested, Gandhi. I don't like to scare people. If only I could apologize to all the clones I scared.
Joan: Matt, do you have any other talents beside scaring people and crafting horror props?
Matt: Well, I do have one other talent. I am especially good at karaoke. Sometimes when my scaring urges are low, I'd go into town and go perform at the karaoke bars. I'm a really good performer and the patrons give me a lot of money.
(Abe scratches his chin with a grin on his face.)
Abe: Karaoke, huh? That gives me an idea to how you can reveal yourself to the other students.
(Scene shifts to an outside view of the auditorium. It is the next evening. The billboard reads, "Want to know the identity of our prom rescuer? Or the boogeyman who scared us all? Come to the concert!" Scene shifts to a view of the audience in the auditorium. Faces in the crowd are Cleo, JFK, Julius Caesar, Van Gogh, Jesus Christo, Genghis Khan, Nostradamus, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mr. Sheepman, other clones and a dolphin. They are all muttering and expressing confusion about why they are here. Except for Cleo who just looks on in anger. JFK doesn't know what to make of this. Camera shifts to the stage. The curtains are down. Camera shifts to the side of the stage where Joan is looking out at the crowd. She is holding a microphone. Abe and Gandhi come up from behind.)
Abe: Everything's all set to go, Joan. Wow! It looks like the entire school is out there.
Joan: I guess they're all curious about who rescued us from the freezer. I only hope they see Matt as that and not as a psycho.
Gandhi: Well, Matt is a little crazy in the head. But he sings pretty good from the demonstration he gave me earlier. I'll go see if he's ready.
(Gandhi leaves.)
Joan: It's good that Mr. Butlertron was able to convince Principal Scudworth to let us use the auditorium for this concert.
Abe: Are you nervous Joan? Not only do you have to introduce Matt, but you're doing a duet with him at the end.
Joan: A little. But knowing you believe in me and love me gives me strength, Abe.
Abe: That reminds me, Joan. I have something for you. Now don't think I'm getting all smothering again. But this little thing will clinch the whole relationship for us.
(Abe takes something out of his pocket and gives it to Joan. Joan looks at it and smiles. Camera shifts to her point of view. It is a double picture frame. One picture is of a happy Joan most likely taken from a yearbook. The other is the shirtless Abe underneath a tree. Below the pictures are the words, "Abe + Joan 4-ever.")
Joan: Abe, where did you get this?
Abe: Matt gave it to me. He found it the night he scared Cleo. He was going to give it back to you. But he thought that I should be the one to give it to you with a few extras, seeing as how you're my girlfriend.
Joan: Thanks Abe.
(Abe and Joan lean into a loving embrace and inch close to each other with their eyes closed and their lips puckered. But before their first kiss as a couple can come to pass, Gandhi comes up. He grins.)
Gandhi: Yo lovebirds! Matt's ready to go on. He's in position. I'll be in the control room.
(Gandhi leaves. Abe and Joan part.)
Abe: Dinger! We were so close.
Joan: It's okay, Abe. It'll happen eventually. I'd better go on and introduce Matt. I must remember to thank him after the show for everything.
Abe: Matt maybe psychotic of the mind. But not of the heart. He knew we were perfect for each other. That's why he put us into each other's arms when we thawed. See you later, Joan. I'm handling the special effects backstage.
(Joan nods and then walks out onto the stage. Camera shifts to the stage. Joan is in the middle of it. She speaks into the microphone.)
Joan: Attention please.
(The crowd falls silent.)
Joan: Students and faculty of Clone High, welcome to our concert. I bet you're all anxious to find out who's performing. Well, before we start, let us think back to prom night. For some unknown reason, we were frozen in the flash freezer. It looked like we were doomed to that icy fate. But as luck would have it, someone came, got us out of the freezer, and set everything up to defrost us. We never knew who our savior was. Until now. He was also the one who went out two nights ago and scared us all. But he is sorry for frightening everyone. And he hopes you will forgive him. But for now, give it up for the one and only, making his Clone High debut, Matt Frankenclone!
(Joan steps off the stage as the curtain pulls to the sides. The stage has been changed into a gothic castle set. Bones and skeletons are strewn about. Eerie rock music starts to play. A coffin is lowered down onto the stage via metal wires. It is placed vertically and it unfolds. Matt is revealed with his back to the audience. He is wearing a black poncho cloak over his body. He wears black gloves and is holding a microphone. His skin is bone white and his hair is jet black. He turns around and grins. Black circles are painted around his eyes like Alice Cooper's and his canine teeth have turned into fangs. The audience gasps. He starts to sing.)
Matt:
Welcome to my nightmare
I think you're going to like it
I think you're going to feel
Like you belong
Audience: Ooh!
Matt:
A nocturnal vacation
Unnecessary sedation
You want feel at home
Cause you belong
Welcome to my nightmare whoa-o-o-oh!
(A flash of lightening fills the stage. The audience starts to cheer as Matt continues to perform. Time passes and the scene shifts to a later time as Matt performs a new song.)
Matt:
Waitin' for an invitation to arrive
Oh we're goin' to a party with no one still alive
(Another flash of lightening.)
Matt:
I was struck by lightning
Walkin' down the street
I was hit by something last night in my sleep
(A couple of hanging corpses drop down from the top of the stage. Skeletons rise up and start to dance like marionettes.)
Matt:
It's a dead man's party
Who could ask for more?
Everybody's coming
Leave your body at the door
Leave your body and soul at the door
(While Matt continues to sing, the camera shifts to the back of the auditorium. Scudworth and Mr. Butlertron are watching.)
Mr. B: Quite a set of pipes he has, Wesley?
Scudworth: Indeed he does. I don't know how he learned to sing like that. He wasn't meant to be a musical performer. But then again, he is singing some of the most morbid and scary songs ever written. He'll be great entertainment for the amusement park. The only problem now is how to watch him. Since the clones know about him, I can't incarcerate him. He's not a student so how can I keep an eye on him?
Mr. B: Maybe you could offer him a job here.
Scudworth: A job? Hmm. That's not such a crazy idea, Mr. B. I think that the librarian William Shakespeare could use some help. The library has fallen into horrible disarray since he developed that perpetual case of writer's block. I'll talk to the Frankenclone after he's done. But for now, let's watch the show.
(Camera shifts on Cleo who has a nasty look on her face.)
Cleo: I can't believe everyone's cheering for that freak after all he's done. Such a disgusting display, isn't it JFK?
(Cleo looks to her right and gasps. JFK is cheering.)
JFK: Woo! Belt it out, Frankenclone!
(Cleo groans in annoyance and leaves. Scene shifts to a later time. Another song with scary organ music has started. A smokescreen covers the stage. Camera zooms to a shadowed figure in the smoke. When it clears, it is revealed to be Joan dressed as Christine from the Phantom of the Opera. She starts to sing.)
Joan:
Those who have seen your face
Draw back in fear
I am the mask you wear
(Matt appears behind her wearing his same costume only with a white mask.)
Matt:
It's me they hear
My spirit and your voice
In one combined
Joan:
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Matt:
Inside your mind.
(Joan holds a high note. Scene shifts to the side as Abe watches them perform. He smiles as he hears his girlfriend's voice.)
Abe: Joan's got an excellent singing voice. Pity she didn't sing enough during the time we all thought we were high on raisins. But I do seem to recall hearing her singing my name when I was singing about Cleo.
(Scene shifts to an outside view of the auditorium. The sounds of Joan can be heard. Scene then shifts to the neighborhood street. Abe, Joan and Matt are walking down the sidewalk. Joan is back in her normal clothing and Matt is back in his regular cloak. Matt is carrying a sleeping bag and a pillow under his arm.)
Abe: Well Matt, looks like you're a hit. Did you hear that crowd cheer for you?
Matt: It's a big change to hear screams of praise instead of screams of terror. But I was also surprised on how many of them were gathered to ask for my autograph.
Joan: Not to mention how many ladies tried to ask you for a date.
Abe: And Principal Scudworth even offered you a job.
Matt: I imagine Mr. B had something to do with it.
Joan: Working in the library will be great for you, Matt. No screams of terror. Just screams of frustration. Mr. Shakespeare really is bad- tempered because he can't think of anything to write about.
Matt: Not to worry, Joan. I'll just be happy to be near my friends. Since we've become friends, I haven't once gotten the urge to scare.
Abe: Mr. B never told us what caused your urges, Matt. He explained how you were created and who your clonefather was. Well, you have many clonefathers.
Matt: And one clonemother.
Abe: I want to know what happened to you that turned you into a fear- spreading maniac.
Matt: Um, my foster parents were really negligent. They let me watch all kinds of scary movies when I was young. And I guess I sort of imitated them. Anyway Abe, thanks for loaning this sleeping bag and pillow. It'll be much more comfortable than those leaves I sleep in.
Joan: We need to find you a home. I don't think it's healthy to live in a cave, Matt.
Matt: Oh no, Joan. I'm perfectly happy where I am. I like that cave. Of course, the bats don't exactly make good roommates. But it's okay.
Abe: Well, we're here.
(The three of them stop. Camera changes to a view behind them. They are in front of Cleo's house. Camera changes back in front of them.)
Abe: You're sure you want to do this, Joan. I don't think Cleo's going to be in the mood to see you.
Joan: Don't worry, Abe. It's about time I came home. Besides, I'm sure Toots misses me.
Matt: Uh Joan? He's not exactly missing you. He thinks you're dead.
(Joan faces Matt with a look of shock.)
Joan: What?
Matt: When I came here on the night I was scaring everybody, Toots told me that Cleo told him that you had a fatal accident on prom night.
Joan: Why that skanky (bleep)!
Abe: I agree. Putting you down is one thing. But telling your foster grandfather that you've died is going too far.
Joan: She will pay for this!
Abe: Normally, I don't condone vengeance. But in this case, an exception should be made. Question is: how?
(Joan gets a evil/mischievous look on her face.)
Joan: I think I know how.
(She looks at Matt. He immediately gets the idea and looks worried.)
Matt: Oh no! No way, Joan. I'm not doing any scaring.
Joan: It'll be fine, Matt. Cleo deserves it. Come on.
(Joan grabs Matt by his arm and drags him in the direction of the door.)
Abe: Good luck, Joan. Take care of her, Matt. I'll see you both at school tomorrow.
(Abe walks off.)
Matt: Joan, I really don't want to activate my transformation again. During a previous transformation, I completely destroyed my last set of clothing except my cloak. And I just borrowed clothing from Abe.
Joan: Don't worry, Matt. I've got just the thing to help you. Besides, I want you to meet Toots.
Matt: I've already met him! He thinks I'm a chimney sweep!
(Joan rings the doorbell. The door opens revealing Toots.)
Toots: Yes?
Joan: Hello Toots.
Toots: Joanie? Is that you? I thought you were dead. Again.
(Joan hugs Toots.)
Joan: That was just a misunderstanding that Cleo told you. I was just staying at Abe's. But I'm home, Toots. And right now, all I want to do is go upstairs and go to bed.
Toots: You do that, Joanie. Cleo's in the shower. She came home sounding very angry. Something about a freak becoming a hit down at the school.
Joan: Well, good night Toots.
(Joan pulls an uneasy Matt past Toots. They are about to go up the stairs when Toots calls out.)
Toots: Who's your friend, Joanie?
Matt: Wha?!
Joan: Oh I'm sorry. Toots, I like to introduce you to my new friend, Matt.
Matt: Pleased to meet you, sir.
(Matt shakes Toots' hand.)
Toots: It's a pleasure to meet you, son. You sound a little familiar.
Joan: I owe a lot to Matt. He helped bring Abe and I together.
Toots: You've finally hooked up with that Lincoln boy? Good on you, Joanie!
(Joan and Matt go up the stairs. Scene shifts to the top floor.)
Joan: I thought he knew you, Matt.
Matt: He must've not recognized my voice. By the time I got here that night, my voice had taken on a horrible, monstrous tone. And I definitely don't want that to happen again.
Joan: Listen, Frankenclone. In case you haven't noticed all those times you've watched us at school, I don't take offense from anybody. Not Gandhi! Not JFK! And especially not Cleo! So are you going to help me or not?
(Matt smiles.)
Matt: You know, Jeanne D'Arc, that's one thing I admire about you. So yes, I will help you. But I can't do the Psycho thing again. The way I did it, she might be extra careful whenever she's in the shower now. The movie did put a lot of people off taking showers.
Joan: I have an idea of my own, Matt. And I just need your voice and your horror movie skills. Follow me to Cleo's vanity where her makeup is.
(Scene shifts to the interior of Cleo's bedroom. Cleo comes in with her nightgown on. She is also wearing an angry scowl. She looks in the mirror. Camera focuses on her reflection in the mirror.)
Cleo: Stupid Frankenclone freak. The entire student body may now love him. But I know what he's really like. And I'll make him pay for what he's done to me. Him, Of Arc and Abe.
(Cleo suddenly notices Joan's bunk. There's someone in it. Cleo turns around.)
Joan: So Bleacher Trash has returned. She certainly has some nerve to come back here.
(Cleo picks up a pillow and starts to climb the ladder. Suddenly, a monstrous feminine voice is heard.)
Voice: Olec! Olec! Eraweb! (Backwards: Cleo! Cleo! Beware!)
Cleo: You're not scaring me by talking funny, Of Arc. You're going to pay.
(Camera shifts to a view of the bunk. The covers are over the occupant's face. Cleo stands over it with a pillow.)
Cleo: This is not going to be the start of another pillow and pie war accompanied by Benny Hill music.
(Cleo reaches for the end of the covers near the occupant's head. Camera shifts to a close-up of Cleo's hand as it pulls the covers back revealing a horrible sight. The occupant is revealed to be Joan. But her face is made- up so she looks like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. Her face is painted pale white and is covered with gruesome painted red cuts. She has a grim grin on her face. Camera focuses on Cleo as she gasps and climbs down the ladder. She backs against the wall. Camera focuses on Joan who jumps down from her bunk and slowly approaches Cleo. She starts to talk in the same monstrous voice.)
Joan: Cleo! Beware! Evil!
Cleo: I'd never expect to see Joan of Arc, God's messenger, become possessed by the devil. Whatever you do, don't do that head thing!
(Joan stops but her grin does not fade. She starts to crane her neck to the right. A loud creaking noise is heard. Camera focuses on Cleo who is covering her eyes. Camera focuses on Joan who turns her head to face Cleo (not 360 degrees around). She talks in her normal voice)
Joan: Boo!
(Joan laughs. Camera focuses on Cleo who uncovers her eyes.)
Cleo: Huh?
Joan: Got you good, Cleo. You actually thought I was possessed?
Cleo: But your face.
Joan: Thanks for educating me about makeup, Cleo. It came in handy.
Cleo: You used my makeup? Why you (bleep)! First you steal Abe, then you do something like this!
(Cleo gets up with her pillow. But Joan holds up a hand.)
Joan: Hold it, queen of the Nile. I'm not alone.
(Joan looks over her shoulder and winks. Camera focuses on Cleo's bunk. Matt crawls out from under it wearing a big grin.)
Matt: (monstrous female voice) Evil! Beware!
Joan: I provided the look. Matt provided the voice.
Cleo: You're a fool, Of Arc. From what I've heard from you, Abe and the rest of your friends, he would have begun changing into a monster again if I had screamed and we would both be dead.
(Matt reaches to his ears and pulls out a pair of earplugs.)
Matt: These earplugs were really effective, Joan. I couldn't hear a thing.
Joan: You can keep them, Matt. I don't need them anymore now that I'm not an insomniac anymore. They'll help you control your transformations if your urges ever overcome you.
Matt: Thanks, Joan. I'd better be going back to my cave. The stuff Abe gave to me is right outside the window. See you tomorrow.
(Matt walks toward the window past a smiling Joan. He stops at the stunned Cleo.)
Matt: Heed this warning, (bleep!). Should you do anything to harm to Joan, be prepared to face my wrath. And mark my words, I won't be wearing the earplugs. So if I turn into a monster again, it will be your fault. Ta- ta, Joan!
Joan: Bye Matt!
(Matt then leaps out the window. After a few moments, the sound of a loud splat is heard.)
Matt: (off screen) Don't worry! I only broke one arm! I'll be fine!
(Scene shifts to the interior of the pit where the Shadowy Figures are being held. The ice has melted but more of the black goop still covers them. Camera is focused on the Head Shadowy Figure (HSF). His eyelids start to flutter as he wakes.)
HSF: What happened?
(Camera focuses on the other Shadowy Figures who have started to stir as well. Camera focuses back on the HSF.)
HSF: What is this stuff?
(He takes a whiff of it. He reacts in disgust.)
HSF: Bat guano? Ech!
(They all start to brush off the bat guano. Then they notice their predicament.)
HSF: Fellow Shadowy Figures, it appears that we are in a dire situation. Only one person could have done this: Scudworth! Clever of him to lead us into the flash freezer in a conga line. My only weakness. Now he's disposed of us in this pit and probably working on that island amusement park of his with our clones! If we ever get out of this, I swear we'll make him pay.
(Then the voice of Matt is heard from above.)
Matt: (off screen) Oh, don't I hate it when someone else gets credit for something another person has done.
(The Shadowy Figures look up and gasp. Camera shifts to their point of view. They see Matt standing at the edge of the pit. He is wearing an evil grin.)
Matt: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that this pit was the bats' bathroom. Oh wait. I did! (laughs)
HSF: Matt Frankenclone! We've been looking for you for months! Where have you been?
Matt: I've been staying around this town keeping an eye on your little experiments, you fiends!
(The Shadowy Figures reach for things in their pockets.)
Matt: Don't bother! Before you woke up, I removed all your weapons and communication devices to ensure that you have no means of escape. This pit has been lined with barbed wire.
HSF: Why are doing this, Matt? Haven't we been like fathers to you?
Matt: Father? What kind of father would force his child to watch horror movies every waking moment of his life which would eventually breed an instinct to terrify everyone around him? You created me just to be your cash cow and a monster. In doing so, you have nearly deprived me of all that is decent and innocent. Well, no more! You're my prisoners now! You shall not use my friends and fellow clones for your own evil purposes. We may not be natural human beings. But that doesn't mean you can treat us like your own personal property!
HSF: You've been interacting with the other clones? Do you realize how dangerous that could be?
Matt: The only danger threatening the clones is you. And I intend to keep it contained!
HSF: Whatever you do to us, Matt, it won't surprise us at all. We haven't kept you under glass for sixteen years and there's nothing about you that we don't know about.
Matt: Hmm. How about five barrels of cockroaches?
(Matt indicates the barrels next to him.)
HSF: Okay, maybe we don't know about that.
Matt: I got this idea from watching fear factor. As one of my clonefathers Boris Karloff so eloquently said, brace yourself for terror.
HSF: If you scare us, you risk activating your monstrous transformation.
Matt: I'm aware of that. And that's why I have these.
(Matt holds out his hand and shows the earplugs.)
Matt: Little present from my friend, Joan of Arc.
(Matt puts the earplugs into his ears and lets out a maniacal laugh. He rips a lid off one of the barrels and picks it up. He tips the barrel over the side of the pit spilling a multitude of cockroaches into the pit. Camera focuses on the Shadowy Figures screaming as the cockroaches rain down on them. Camera shifts back to Matt laughing.)
Matt: Scream all you want, Shadowy Figures! I can't hear you!
(Matt laughs as the scene fades out.)
Gandhi: Geshy!
(Geshy spits out the cow.)
Geshy: Gandhi!
(Gandhi and Geshy rush toward each other and hug.)
Gandhi: How ya been, buddy?
Abe: What's he doing here?
Gandhi: Yeah Geshy, whatcha doing in here, man?
Geshy: Candy gone! Geshy look for candy.
Gandhi: Oh so the animals left the forest so you came here looking for food.
Abe: How could he have gotten in when the school's in lockdown?
Gandhi: Maybe he snuck in here before the power went out.
Abe: Or maybe he's the one who Scudworth saw in the air duct! Maybe he's the one who scared everyone last night.
Gandhi: A-dude, how could you think about Geshy that way? He may be predatory. But he's not a psychotic madman. And I'm his friend so he wouldn't dress up my room like a slaughterhouse. (Bleep) it, I don't think he knows what a slaughterhouse looks like.
Abe: Well, you may be right. But let's keep an eye on him. Just in case.
Gandhi: Come on, Geshy. We're hunting down a monster.
Geshy: (nervous tone) Woo loo loo loo loo.
Gandhi: Don't chicken out on me, Geshy. We've got tranquilizer guns and you've got a mouth full of sharp teeth. We can beat this thing. No psycho will get the best of Lincoln, Gandhi and Geshy!
(A loud roar is heard from outside the kitchen along with the sounds of Joan and Marie screaming.)
Abe: The girls! They're in trouble!
(Abe and Gandhi rush to the door. Geshy follows behind them. Scene shifts to the other side of the kitchen doors. Gandhi kicks them open and the two clones and Geshy walk in. Abe shines his flashlight up and gasps. Camera shifts to an open air vent in the ceiling. The camera pans down to show a puddle of blood with a pair of trails leading to the right. Almost like a wheelchair had run through the blood. The camera pans to the right following the trails out the double doors which are swinging.)
Gandhi: Seems instead of us getting the drop on the creature, it got the drop on the girls. Literally.
Abe: It can't have gone far. After it!
(Abe runs toward the doors with Gandhi and Geshy following close behind him. They all run out. Scene shifts to the hallways. All of them are following the trails of blood. After a few moments, they stop. Camera zooms in on their faces as they gasp. Camera shifts to a view of the still unconscious JFK lying on the ground next to the trails which have made a right turn. Abe rushes up and slaps JFK in the face several times.)
Abe: Wake up, Kennedy!
(JFK's eyes open.)
JFK: Er uh what? Oh Lincoln! It was horrible. Cleo and I encountered the monster. And this is no loony in a costume. This is a real freakin' monster with fangs, claws, and a lot of tentacles. It wasn't natural. Anyway, I tried to fight it off. But it overpowered me.
Abe: Where's Cleo?
JFK: I don't know. Most likely she's become the monster's next meal.
(Abe shines his flashlight along the trails of blood. Camera shifts to his point of view as he traces the trails up to the next corner. The trails have now gone to the right. Camera focuses back on Abe.)
Abe: There's only one place it could have gone: the gym. Come on, guys. Let's go save them.
(Abe runs forward. But stops when he hears Gandhi.)
Gandhi: Sorry, Abe.
(Abe turns around with a stunned look on his face. Camera shifts to Gandhi who is holding Geshy in his arms. They are both shivering. JFK has his arms around them both.)
Abe: What's the matter, you guys?
Gandhi: Sorry, man. But Geshy and I are just too scared now that we know that this thing is a real monster.
JFK: I'm er uh scared too. I'm too charming and handsome to die! I haven't even gotten all the way through my list!
Abe: Gandhi, JFK and Geshy, let me tell you something. I'm scared too. But there's another monster under the roof of this school that scares me even more.
(This comment causes the three of them to jump.)
Gandhi and JFK: Where?!
Geshy: (panicked tone) Woo loo loo loo loo!
Abe: This beast has a name and that name is cowardice. And if we don't go into that gym to save the women we love, that beast will eat us alive.
Gandhi: And if we go into that gym, dawg, we'll be eaten alive by the beast in there.
Abe: I don't care. If we stay out here, there's a one hundred percent chance that cowardice will eat us alive. But if we go into the gym, there's a slim chance that we won't get eaten alive. I'm not going to abandon Joan, not after all the pain and suffering I caused her. And I'm definitely not abandoning Marie and Cleo either. You guys can do what you want. But I'm going into that gym and facing that monster to get my girlfriend back.
(Abe turns around and walks down the hallway. Camera shifts back to Gandhi, JFK, and Geshy. They look at each other. Scene shifts to the gym doors. Abe is about to open it when he hears Gandhi's voice.)
Gandhi: Abe?
(Abe turns around and sees Gandhi, JFK and Geshy looking determined.)
Gandhi: You can count on me, Abe. The real Gandhi may not have been the fighting type. But I'll bet you anything he wouldn't have backed down when the woman he loved was in danger. Are you with me too, Geshy?
Geshy: (happy tone) Woo loo loo loo loo!
JFK: I'll help too. Because I don't want the entire school saying that I'm a coward. No chick would ever come to my van again. No one wants to bed with a sissy.
Abe: Thanks guys and Geshy. Now let's go save the girls!
(Scene shifts to the interior of the gym. The camera is on the doors. Gandhi and Geshy kick it open. Abe, Gandhi and JFK have their guns ready.)
JFK: There's something I should tell you. But I can't seem to remember what it is.
(Abe shines his flashlight around the gym until he suddenly stops. He and the others gasp. Camera changes to the gym floor. On it are Joan, Marie, and Cleo. They are covered and lying in an immense pool of blood. Their eyes are closed and they are not moving. Abe rushes over to Joan's side, Gandhi to Marie, and JFK to Cleo. Geshy just stands at the edge of the pool with a sad look on his face.)
Abe: Joan! Wake up!
Gandhi: Marie, open your eyes.
JFK: Come on, Cleo. Don't do this to me!
(Abe picks up Joan in his arms. Her body is limp. It looks like she has become a victim of the Matt Monster.)
Abe: Oh Joan. I can't believe the last thing we had was a disagreement. But I was just trying to apologize for all I've done to you. I hurt you so much since the beginning of the year since I was going after Cleo. I was so smitten with her that I was completely oblivious to how you felt. Now two weeks after finally coming to my senses, it's over. This blood might as well be the blood of my heart. Because it's broken now that the one person who cared for me is gone.
(Abe starts to cry. He holds Joan's body close to him.)
Abe: Joan, come back to me.
Joan: I don't need to come back. Because I never left.
(Abe's eyes open wide and he pulls Joan away to face him. Her eyes have opened and she is smiling despite her face being half covered in blood.)
Abe: Joan, you're alive!
Joan: The blood's fake. Like all the other blood we've found.
Abe: Oh Joan. I've been such the fool.
Joan: Yes, you have, Abe. You should've known that you never had to try and stay on my good side. I forgave you at the prom, remember?
Abe: Yes. I remember.
Joan: From now on, let's just go with our relationship in a less-smothering way. Let's just be a regular couple. Who are clones of some of two of the greatest historical heroes.
(Abe and Joan lean in to each other about to have their first kiss when suddenly, Cleo's angry voice rings out.)
Cleo: Not again!
(Abe and Joan look to the left. Camera focuses on Cleo who is writhing in anger while a startled JFK looks on.)
Cleo: Covered in fake blood again! Does that creature realize how long it takes for me to get this stuff out of my hair?
(Camera focuses on Gandhi with Marie who has woken up.)
Gandhi: Man, this guy loves his fake blood. By the way, where is the creature?
Marie: I have no idea, Gandhi. The last thing I remember was searching the cafeteria with Joan. Then we hear something hit the floor from above. Before we could get a good look at it, something slapped us in the back of our heads.
Gandhi: That means the monster could be anywhere in the school.
(Camera pans back to show all six of the clones. Suddenly, a low growl is heard.)
Joan: Uh guys. I think it's still here.
(Abe takes out his flashlight and shines it over the gym. He stops at a row of bleachers which are pulsating as if there is something behind it. Suddenly, something bursts through the bleachers. Camera focuses on the clones and Geshy whose eyes are now beholding the horrible monstrosity. They all scream. Camera focuses on the Matt Monster. He has changed significantly. He has grown to the size of a T-Rex. The tentacles that make up his lower half have gotten bigger. His head has changed greatly. It is now similar to the monster from Alien. The only difference is that it has a pair of red eyes on the front and two large black ox horns on the sides of it's head.. Surprisingly, it is still wearing the black framed glasses. His body has also taken on a muscular tone. His cloak dangles on his back. To sum it all up, he's a combination of the Alien, the Lord of Darkness from Legend, and Audrey Two from Little Shop of Horrors. The Matt Monster roars at the clones.)
Joan: Since when do monsters wear glasses?
JFK: Don't know and I don't wanna stick around to found out!
Abe: Yeah! After seeing this creature, I think I'd rather been eaten alive by the beast called cowardice.
(The clones and Geshy run for the door. But they are intercepted by tentacles.)
Joan: I think he wants us to stick around for dinner.
Gandhi: Well, no one eats the G-man.
(Gandhi turns toward the Matt Monster with his gun aimed at it.)
Gandhi: Well, monster (bleep). Think you can get away with scaring me and my buds? Well, prepare to face the wrath of Tandoori Jones a.k.a. Tan of Black and Tan. Eat tranq darts!
(Gandhi fires his tranquilizer gun. Camera focuses on the Matt Monster as the tranquilizer darts enter his chest. The Matt Monster's eyes furrow in anger and he lets out a roar. Camera shifts to very confused looking Gandhi.)
JFK: Oh, I probably should have mentioned this earlier. The er uh tranq darts don't work on this monster.
(Gandhi looks at JFK angrily and then pushes him toward the Matt Monster.)
Gandhi: Eat him!
(JFK looks up in terror as the Matt Monster grabs him with his claw. The Matt Monster pulls JFK toward him and roars in his face.)
JFK: Please let this work.
(JFK kicks the Matt Monster between his lower tentacles where his crotch would normally be. The Matt Monster doesn't flinch.)
JFK: Aw nuts! He doesn't have it. Poor guy.
(The Matt Monster growls. JFK screams. Suddenly, the Matt Monster looks like it's about to throw up.)
Joan: Looks like it's about to be sick.
(The Matt Monster makes a retching noise and a long, tubular tongue sprouts out of his mouth.)
Cleo: Or it's just sprouted another appendage it can kill us with.
Gandhi: Geshy! Sic' it!
Geshy: Woo loo loo!
(Geshy runs forward toward the Matt Monster with his secondary mouth open. He leaps and bites the Matt Monster's arm. The Matt Monster yells in pain. His arm falls off leaving a bloodied stump. JFK and other half fall to the ground. JFK crawls out of the severed arms' grasp.)
JFK: Hey, bald nerd. Thanks.
Gandhi: I ordered Geshy to sic' it. Not save you.
JFK: Why you!
Abe: Guys, this is no time for a fight. Well, maybe it is a time for a fight. But against that thing, not each other!
Joan: Well, if the tranquilizer guns don't work, then maybe this will.
(Joan pulls out her stun gun.)
Marie: Yeah! And we can use the guns as clubs. It should be easier to fight now that it's lost an arm.
(The Matt Monster growls as his healing powers kick in and his arm regenerates. The clones gasp.)
Abe: Okay, no turning around and fleeing. Only the six of us and Geshy or the monster gets out of here alive. Because that monster is our fear and it's time to face it!
(Scene then shifts to Mr. Butlertron in the power room. Scudworth still lies unconscious.)
Mr. B: Finally, this should get the power back on.
(He reaches up and pulls down a lever. Scene shifts back to the gym. The lights immediately turn on. The Matt Monster gasps and covers his eyes with his hands.)
Marie: It hates light!
Abe: That's why it cut the power. It can only stand the darkness.
JFK: It's er uh like a freakin' vampire!
(The Matt Monster then uncovers his eyes and let's out an even louder roar. All of them scream. More tentacles sprout from the Matt Monster's back.)
Joan: Can't we catch a break? Every time we think we've found its weakness, it proves us wrong. It can regenerate. It sprouts more stuff. And it doesn't matter if it's in the light or dark.
(Abe puts his hand on Joan's shoulder.)
Abe: Joan, if we don't survive this fight, I'll be glad I went at the same time as my girlfriend.
(Joan smiles at her boyfriend.)
Cleo: Don't make me gag. Let's just fight the (bleep) thing!
(The clones and Geshy charge at the Matt Monster. Camera focuses on Joan plunging her stun gun into one of the Matt Monster's tentacles and presses the button. Electricity surges through the Matt Monster's body and he screams in pain. Camera focuses on Abe, JFK and Cleo clubbing at the tentacles. Camera focuses on Geshy who is snapping at the tentacles. Camera focuses on Gandhi and Marie who are whacking the tentacles away.)
Marie: It's not showing any signs of relenting.
Gandhi: Just keep it up!
Marie: Gandhi, if we never get out of this alive, I want you to know that I love you and I'm sorry for kicking you off the dance squad because of your ADD.
Gandhi: That's all in the past, my love.
(Camera focuses on the Matt Monster's tentacles. They reach out and grab the clones by their feet. Camera pulls back to a wide shot of the Matt Monster who is dangling the clones upside down. He makes a sound like evil laughter. The clones scream as he jerks them up and down. The Matt Monster's tongue rears up and the tip splits into a mouth of teeth.)
Abe: Well everyone, it's been a pleasure monster hunting with you.
(The Matt Monster continues to roar. Camera focuses on Joan. She isn't screaming.)
Joan: (thinking) Something's not right here. This monster clearly has everything he needs to finish us off. But so far, it hasn't even tried to kill us despite growing more dangerous appendages. All it's been doing is roaring, acting horrifying and scaring us out of our wits. And it seems every time we scream, it becomes even more monstrous and grows more appendages. (out loud) That's it! Guys! Stop screaming!
Gandhi: It's a little hard to not scream, Joan when you're dangling from the tentacle of a horrible monster!
Joan: Just stop screaming. It can't be trying to kill us or it would have done it by now. If we don't scream, it'll probably stop.
(The clones stop screaming, The Matt Monster roars. The clones don't react. The Matt Monster looks confused. He roars again. Abe looks like he's trying to be brave. Gandhi covers his mouth. Cleo tries to keep a straight face. Marie keeps her eyes closed. The Matt Monster looks sad. Joan smiles.)
Joan: It's working! He's not getting the proper reaction so he's lost interest.
(JFK takes his gun and whacks the Matt Monster in the back of his head. The Matt Monster growls in pain as it falls forward.)
JFK: Take that, monster (bleep)!
(The Matt Monster falls onto the gym floor, knocked out. The clones push themselves out of the tentacles. Cleo stands next to the Matt Monster's unconscious head.)
Cleo: It's over, Of Arc! I've won the bet and you have to keep one hundred yards away from Abe for a month.
Joan: You didn't beat the monster. JFK did.
Cleo: Yes. But he was on my team.
JFK: And later, I'll get my reward.
Cleo: So, ta-ta Of Arc. I'll take care of Abe.
(Joan hangs her head in sadness.)
Abe: Wait a minute, Cleo. The agreement was that she had to stay away from me for one hundred yards. But that doesn't mean I have to stay away from her.
Cleo: But.but.
Abe: No buts, Cleo. This agreement won't work because I'm not staying away from my Joanie.
(Joan hugs Abe. Cleo gets angry.)
Cleo: Fine! At least I'll still look like a hero. I can see the headline now, QUEEN OF THE NILE CLONE CAPTURES EXCLAMATION BOOGEYMAN. I'll be famous nationwide.
(Cleo laughs as she reaches down and picks up one of the Matt Monster's claws without looking at it.)
Cleo: How does this look on the front page?
Abe, Joan, Gandhi, Marie, JFK and Geshy: (gasps)
Cleo: What? Jealous?
(Cleo looks at the claw and finds it has turned into a human hand. She gasps and drops it. Camera shifts to an overhead view of the motionless Matt Monster. Everything has started to shrink inwards. His head is changing shape. His tentacles are retreating back into his body. His lower tentacles are reshaping into human legs. Soon, the Matt Monster ceases to exist and has reverted into Matt Frankenclone. His back is covered by the cloak. Camera shifts to the surprised clones standing over Matt Frankenclone's body.)
Abe: Okay, that was weird.
Joan: What's going on? This monster has just turned into a human.
(Mr. Butlertron wheels in from the left.)
Mr. B: Oh my. Thank goodness he has reverted back to normal. I hope he's not seriously hurt.
Abe: Mr. Butlertron? You know something about this monster?
Mr. B: He's no monster. His name is Matt Frankenclone. And if you will let me tell you about him, I'm sure you might look at him a little differently.
(Time passes as Mr. Butlertron tells his story. At the end, the clones look stunned.)
Gandhi: Whoa! That's harsh. So this dude is some kind of super-clone?
Abe: Created to be an ultimate horror actor?
Mr. B: Yes. He only scares people because he cannot help it.
Gandhi: So I guess I was right. He is a genetics experiment. One that went a little too well if you ask me.
Joan: Poor guy. Imagine forcing yourself to be alone for all time because you don't want to scare people.
Mr. B: He has tried to keep the urges under control. But I'm afraid that the urges recently overcame him.
Cleo: Who cares if he cannot help it? This guy covered me in fake blood three times! I say we turn him over to the police who can get him a nice science lab where he can spend the rest of his life.
JFK: Er uh yeah!
(Abe, Joan, Gandhi, Marie, Geshy, and Mr. B. step between Cleo and JFK and Matt.)
Joan: You're so shallow, Cleo. If it wasn't for Matt Frankenclone, we'd still be frozen in the freezer. And it's obvious from what Mr. B has told us that he's got a lot of problems. Maybe all he needs is some friends.
(Cleo seethes in anger.)
Cleo: If you want to be friends with that freak, then be my guest. But don't come crying to me when he loses control, turns into a monster and tries to eat you.
(Cleo turns around and heads for the doors. JFK runs after her.)
JFK: Wait! Cleo! Back of my van, remember?
(Cleo and JFK leave the gym. The clones, Geshy and Mr. Butlertron turn their attention to the still unconscious Matt Frankenclone.)
Abe: Where's Principal Scudworth?
Mr. B: He's still unconscious in the power room. He got attacked. But he wasn't killed. I'll go attend to him.
(Mr. Butlertron wheels out of the gym.)
Gandhi: What are going to do with him once he awakens?
Abe: I don't know. But I think we should do something.
(Matt starts to stir. He rolls onto his back revealing that he's wearing nothing at all. His privates are blurred out in a camera effect.)
Joan: Guys, he's waking up!
Marie: Let's do up his cloak.
(Joan and Marie do up Matt's cloak. Camera zooms in on Matt's face. He groans as his eyes flitter. Camera shifts his blurred point of view. Slowly, the images of Abe, Joan, Gandhi, and Marie come into focus. Camera refocuses on Matt whose eyes have opened wide. He gasps and backs away from the clones. The clones approach him.)
Matt: Please! Don't hurt me! I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I have done. I couldn't help scaring you.
(Matt starts to sob and places his face in his hands. Joan comes up to him and crouches down.)
Joan: Don't cry, Matt Frankenclone. Mr. Butlertron's told us everything. You've been through a lot haven't you?
Matt: Please Miss Of Arc! Just take me somewhere where I can't hurt anybody ever again!
(Abe and Gandhi pick up Matt Frankenclone by his arms.)
Abe: Oh we're taking you somewhere all right.
(Abe and Gandhi lead Matt out of the gym. Joan and Marie follow.)
Gandhi: You go back to the forest, Geshy. I'll see you later.
Geshy: Bye Gandhi!
(Geshy runs through the wall.)
Matt: Just turn me over to the police. I'd be better off locked up.
(Scene shifts to an outside view of the Grassy Knoll. It is evening. Scene then shifts to the interior. Joan, Gandhi, Marie and Matt are sitting in a semicircle booth. Matt is in the center. Joan is sitting on his right. Marie and Gandhi are on his left. Abe comes in with a tray of drinks. He places one in front of each of his friends before giving one to Matt.)
Abe: Have a smoothie, Matt. On me.
(Abe sits down next to Joan. Matt is unsure of what to make of this kind gesture.)
Matt: I expected you guys to take me to the police. Instead you take me to your favorite hangout for smoothies? Aren't you angry and revenge-thirsty for what I have done?
Joan: Well, Matt. You have done some pretty horrible things. But you rescued us from the freezer and I think that pretty much overshadows all the bad things you have done. Besides, the bad things are not totally your fault.
Matt: I'm sorry. It's just that the urges overcome me so much. Sometimes it's just minor things like scribbling horrifying messages in my fake blood.
Gandhi: And a horrifying message it was that you left in the meat locker, dude.
Matt: And whenever I hear a great deal of screams of terror or go under periods of really strong emotion, they trigger my transformation into a monster.
Marie: You mean, you don't have any control over the transformations?
Matt: Oh no. I have some control. I can produce tentacles from my fingers and sometimes grow fangs.
Gandhi: Wow! Can I see?
Joan: Gandhi! This isn't exactly the time and place. Anyway Matt, in spite of all the bad things you have done, we forgive you.
Abe: Yeah, Matt. Sure there's a lot of turmoil in your mind. But the darkness within your mind haven't affected your heart. Because if they did, you would definitely be a true monster. But I believe the light of friendship will illuminate that darkness and the urges to scare will cease to exist. So Matt, welcome to our circle of friends.
(Matt looks around at the smiling clones. He sniffles and a single tear drops from his eye.)
Matt: Thanks, Abe, Joan, Gandhi and Marie. I never had true friends before.
Marie: Well, you've got them now, Matt.
Gandhi: Now that I see it another way, I actually think your transformation is kind of cool.
Matt: Really?
Gandhi: Yeah, dawg. And I've got an idea for next Halloween. We make a haunted house, charge people to go in and then you scare them in your monstrous form. We'll be rich.
Matt: Not interested, Gandhi. I don't like to scare people. If only I could apologize to all the clones I scared.
Joan: Matt, do you have any other talents beside scaring people and crafting horror props?
Matt: Well, I do have one other talent. I am especially good at karaoke. Sometimes when my scaring urges are low, I'd go into town and go perform at the karaoke bars. I'm a really good performer and the patrons give me a lot of money.
(Abe scratches his chin with a grin on his face.)
Abe: Karaoke, huh? That gives me an idea to how you can reveal yourself to the other students.
(Scene shifts to an outside view of the auditorium. It is the next evening. The billboard reads, "Want to know the identity of our prom rescuer? Or the boogeyman who scared us all? Come to the concert!" Scene shifts to a view of the audience in the auditorium. Faces in the crowd are Cleo, JFK, Julius Caesar, Van Gogh, Jesus Christo, Genghis Khan, Nostradamus, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mr. Sheepman, other clones and a dolphin. They are all muttering and expressing confusion about why they are here. Except for Cleo who just looks on in anger. JFK doesn't know what to make of this. Camera shifts to the stage. The curtains are down. Camera shifts to the side of the stage where Joan is looking out at the crowd. She is holding a microphone. Abe and Gandhi come up from behind.)
Abe: Everything's all set to go, Joan. Wow! It looks like the entire school is out there.
Joan: I guess they're all curious about who rescued us from the freezer. I only hope they see Matt as that and not as a psycho.
Gandhi: Well, Matt is a little crazy in the head. But he sings pretty good from the demonstration he gave me earlier. I'll go see if he's ready.
(Gandhi leaves.)
Joan: It's good that Mr. Butlertron was able to convince Principal Scudworth to let us use the auditorium for this concert.
Abe: Are you nervous Joan? Not only do you have to introduce Matt, but you're doing a duet with him at the end.
Joan: A little. But knowing you believe in me and love me gives me strength, Abe.
Abe: That reminds me, Joan. I have something for you. Now don't think I'm getting all smothering again. But this little thing will clinch the whole relationship for us.
(Abe takes something out of his pocket and gives it to Joan. Joan looks at it and smiles. Camera shifts to her point of view. It is a double picture frame. One picture is of a happy Joan most likely taken from a yearbook. The other is the shirtless Abe underneath a tree. Below the pictures are the words, "Abe + Joan 4-ever.")
Joan: Abe, where did you get this?
Abe: Matt gave it to me. He found it the night he scared Cleo. He was going to give it back to you. But he thought that I should be the one to give it to you with a few extras, seeing as how you're my girlfriend.
Joan: Thanks Abe.
(Abe and Joan lean into a loving embrace and inch close to each other with their eyes closed and their lips puckered. But before their first kiss as a couple can come to pass, Gandhi comes up. He grins.)
Gandhi: Yo lovebirds! Matt's ready to go on. He's in position. I'll be in the control room.
(Gandhi leaves. Abe and Joan part.)
Abe: Dinger! We were so close.
Joan: It's okay, Abe. It'll happen eventually. I'd better go on and introduce Matt. I must remember to thank him after the show for everything.
Abe: Matt maybe psychotic of the mind. But not of the heart. He knew we were perfect for each other. That's why he put us into each other's arms when we thawed. See you later, Joan. I'm handling the special effects backstage.
(Joan nods and then walks out onto the stage. Camera shifts to the stage. Joan is in the middle of it. She speaks into the microphone.)
Joan: Attention please.
(The crowd falls silent.)
Joan: Students and faculty of Clone High, welcome to our concert. I bet you're all anxious to find out who's performing. Well, before we start, let us think back to prom night. For some unknown reason, we were frozen in the flash freezer. It looked like we were doomed to that icy fate. But as luck would have it, someone came, got us out of the freezer, and set everything up to defrost us. We never knew who our savior was. Until now. He was also the one who went out two nights ago and scared us all. But he is sorry for frightening everyone. And he hopes you will forgive him. But for now, give it up for the one and only, making his Clone High debut, Matt Frankenclone!
(Joan steps off the stage as the curtain pulls to the sides. The stage has been changed into a gothic castle set. Bones and skeletons are strewn about. Eerie rock music starts to play. A coffin is lowered down onto the stage via metal wires. It is placed vertically and it unfolds. Matt is revealed with his back to the audience. He is wearing a black poncho cloak over his body. He wears black gloves and is holding a microphone. His skin is bone white and his hair is jet black. He turns around and grins. Black circles are painted around his eyes like Alice Cooper's and his canine teeth have turned into fangs. The audience gasps. He starts to sing.)
Matt:
Welcome to my nightmare
I think you're going to like it
I think you're going to feel
Like you belong
Audience: Ooh!
Matt:
A nocturnal vacation
Unnecessary sedation
You want feel at home
Cause you belong
Welcome to my nightmare whoa-o-o-oh!
(A flash of lightening fills the stage. The audience starts to cheer as Matt continues to perform. Time passes and the scene shifts to a later time as Matt performs a new song.)
Matt:
Waitin' for an invitation to arrive
Oh we're goin' to a party with no one still alive
(Another flash of lightening.)
Matt:
I was struck by lightning
Walkin' down the street
I was hit by something last night in my sleep
(A couple of hanging corpses drop down from the top of the stage. Skeletons rise up and start to dance like marionettes.)
Matt:
It's a dead man's party
Who could ask for more?
Everybody's coming
Leave your body at the door
Leave your body and soul at the door
(While Matt continues to sing, the camera shifts to the back of the auditorium. Scudworth and Mr. Butlertron are watching.)
Mr. B: Quite a set of pipes he has, Wesley?
Scudworth: Indeed he does. I don't know how he learned to sing like that. He wasn't meant to be a musical performer. But then again, he is singing some of the most morbid and scary songs ever written. He'll be great entertainment for the amusement park. The only problem now is how to watch him. Since the clones know about him, I can't incarcerate him. He's not a student so how can I keep an eye on him?
Mr. B: Maybe you could offer him a job here.
Scudworth: A job? Hmm. That's not such a crazy idea, Mr. B. I think that the librarian William Shakespeare could use some help. The library has fallen into horrible disarray since he developed that perpetual case of writer's block. I'll talk to the Frankenclone after he's done. But for now, let's watch the show.
(Camera shifts on Cleo who has a nasty look on her face.)
Cleo: I can't believe everyone's cheering for that freak after all he's done. Such a disgusting display, isn't it JFK?
(Cleo looks to her right and gasps. JFK is cheering.)
JFK: Woo! Belt it out, Frankenclone!
(Cleo groans in annoyance and leaves. Scene shifts to a later time. Another song with scary organ music has started. A smokescreen covers the stage. Camera zooms to a shadowed figure in the smoke. When it clears, it is revealed to be Joan dressed as Christine from the Phantom of the Opera. She starts to sing.)
Joan:
Those who have seen your face
Draw back in fear
I am the mask you wear
(Matt appears behind her wearing his same costume only with a white mask.)
Matt:
It's me they hear
My spirit and your voice
In one combined
Joan:
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Matt:
Inside your mind.
(Joan holds a high note. Scene shifts to the side as Abe watches them perform. He smiles as he hears his girlfriend's voice.)
Abe: Joan's got an excellent singing voice. Pity she didn't sing enough during the time we all thought we were high on raisins. But I do seem to recall hearing her singing my name when I was singing about Cleo.
(Scene shifts to an outside view of the auditorium. The sounds of Joan can be heard. Scene then shifts to the neighborhood street. Abe, Joan and Matt are walking down the sidewalk. Joan is back in her normal clothing and Matt is back in his regular cloak. Matt is carrying a sleeping bag and a pillow under his arm.)
Abe: Well Matt, looks like you're a hit. Did you hear that crowd cheer for you?
Matt: It's a big change to hear screams of praise instead of screams of terror. But I was also surprised on how many of them were gathered to ask for my autograph.
Joan: Not to mention how many ladies tried to ask you for a date.
Abe: And Principal Scudworth even offered you a job.
Matt: I imagine Mr. B had something to do with it.
Joan: Working in the library will be great for you, Matt. No screams of terror. Just screams of frustration. Mr. Shakespeare really is bad- tempered because he can't think of anything to write about.
Matt: Not to worry, Joan. I'll just be happy to be near my friends. Since we've become friends, I haven't once gotten the urge to scare.
Abe: Mr. B never told us what caused your urges, Matt. He explained how you were created and who your clonefather was. Well, you have many clonefathers.
Matt: And one clonemother.
Abe: I want to know what happened to you that turned you into a fear- spreading maniac.
Matt: Um, my foster parents were really negligent. They let me watch all kinds of scary movies when I was young. And I guess I sort of imitated them. Anyway Abe, thanks for loaning this sleeping bag and pillow. It'll be much more comfortable than those leaves I sleep in.
Joan: We need to find you a home. I don't think it's healthy to live in a cave, Matt.
Matt: Oh no, Joan. I'm perfectly happy where I am. I like that cave. Of course, the bats don't exactly make good roommates. But it's okay.
Abe: Well, we're here.
(The three of them stop. Camera changes to a view behind them. They are in front of Cleo's house. Camera changes back in front of them.)
Abe: You're sure you want to do this, Joan. I don't think Cleo's going to be in the mood to see you.
Joan: Don't worry, Abe. It's about time I came home. Besides, I'm sure Toots misses me.
Matt: Uh Joan? He's not exactly missing you. He thinks you're dead.
(Joan faces Matt with a look of shock.)
Joan: What?
Matt: When I came here on the night I was scaring everybody, Toots told me that Cleo told him that you had a fatal accident on prom night.
Joan: Why that skanky (bleep)!
Abe: I agree. Putting you down is one thing. But telling your foster grandfather that you've died is going too far.
Joan: She will pay for this!
Abe: Normally, I don't condone vengeance. But in this case, an exception should be made. Question is: how?
(Joan gets a evil/mischievous look on her face.)
Joan: I think I know how.
(She looks at Matt. He immediately gets the idea and looks worried.)
Matt: Oh no! No way, Joan. I'm not doing any scaring.
Joan: It'll be fine, Matt. Cleo deserves it. Come on.
(Joan grabs Matt by his arm and drags him in the direction of the door.)
Abe: Good luck, Joan. Take care of her, Matt. I'll see you both at school tomorrow.
(Abe walks off.)
Matt: Joan, I really don't want to activate my transformation again. During a previous transformation, I completely destroyed my last set of clothing except my cloak. And I just borrowed clothing from Abe.
Joan: Don't worry, Matt. I've got just the thing to help you. Besides, I want you to meet Toots.
Matt: I've already met him! He thinks I'm a chimney sweep!
(Joan rings the doorbell. The door opens revealing Toots.)
Toots: Yes?
Joan: Hello Toots.
Toots: Joanie? Is that you? I thought you were dead. Again.
(Joan hugs Toots.)
Joan: That was just a misunderstanding that Cleo told you. I was just staying at Abe's. But I'm home, Toots. And right now, all I want to do is go upstairs and go to bed.
Toots: You do that, Joanie. Cleo's in the shower. She came home sounding very angry. Something about a freak becoming a hit down at the school.
Joan: Well, good night Toots.
(Joan pulls an uneasy Matt past Toots. They are about to go up the stairs when Toots calls out.)
Toots: Who's your friend, Joanie?
Matt: Wha?!
Joan: Oh I'm sorry. Toots, I like to introduce you to my new friend, Matt.
Matt: Pleased to meet you, sir.
(Matt shakes Toots' hand.)
Toots: It's a pleasure to meet you, son. You sound a little familiar.
Joan: I owe a lot to Matt. He helped bring Abe and I together.
Toots: You've finally hooked up with that Lincoln boy? Good on you, Joanie!
(Joan and Matt go up the stairs. Scene shifts to the top floor.)
Joan: I thought he knew you, Matt.
Matt: He must've not recognized my voice. By the time I got here that night, my voice had taken on a horrible, monstrous tone. And I definitely don't want that to happen again.
Joan: Listen, Frankenclone. In case you haven't noticed all those times you've watched us at school, I don't take offense from anybody. Not Gandhi! Not JFK! And especially not Cleo! So are you going to help me or not?
(Matt smiles.)
Matt: You know, Jeanne D'Arc, that's one thing I admire about you. So yes, I will help you. But I can't do the Psycho thing again. The way I did it, she might be extra careful whenever she's in the shower now. The movie did put a lot of people off taking showers.
Joan: I have an idea of my own, Matt. And I just need your voice and your horror movie skills. Follow me to Cleo's vanity where her makeup is.
(Scene shifts to the interior of Cleo's bedroom. Cleo comes in with her nightgown on. She is also wearing an angry scowl. She looks in the mirror. Camera focuses on her reflection in the mirror.)
Cleo: Stupid Frankenclone freak. The entire student body may now love him. But I know what he's really like. And I'll make him pay for what he's done to me. Him, Of Arc and Abe.
(Cleo suddenly notices Joan's bunk. There's someone in it. Cleo turns around.)
Joan: So Bleacher Trash has returned. She certainly has some nerve to come back here.
(Cleo picks up a pillow and starts to climb the ladder. Suddenly, a monstrous feminine voice is heard.)
Voice: Olec! Olec! Eraweb! (Backwards: Cleo! Cleo! Beware!)
Cleo: You're not scaring me by talking funny, Of Arc. You're going to pay.
(Camera shifts to a view of the bunk. The covers are over the occupant's face. Cleo stands over it with a pillow.)
Cleo: This is not going to be the start of another pillow and pie war accompanied by Benny Hill music.
(Cleo reaches for the end of the covers near the occupant's head. Camera shifts to a close-up of Cleo's hand as it pulls the covers back revealing a horrible sight. The occupant is revealed to be Joan. But her face is made- up so she looks like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. Her face is painted pale white and is covered with gruesome painted red cuts. She has a grim grin on her face. Camera focuses on Cleo as she gasps and climbs down the ladder. She backs against the wall. Camera focuses on Joan who jumps down from her bunk and slowly approaches Cleo. She starts to talk in the same monstrous voice.)
Joan: Cleo! Beware! Evil!
Cleo: I'd never expect to see Joan of Arc, God's messenger, become possessed by the devil. Whatever you do, don't do that head thing!
(Joan stops but her grin does not fade. She starts to crane her neck to the right. A loud creaking noise is heard. Camera focuses on Cleo who is covering her eyes. Camera focuses on Joan who turns her head to face Cleo (not 360 degrees around). She talks in her normal voice)
Joan: Boo!
(Joan laughs. Camera focuses on Cleo who uncovers her eyes.)
Cleo: Huh?
Joan: Got you good, Cleo. You actually thought I was possessed?
Cleo: But your face.
Joan: Thanks for educating me about makeup, Cleo. It came in handy.
Cleo: You used my makeup? Why you (bleep)! First you steal Abe, then you do something like this!
(Cleo gets up with her pillow. But Joan holds up a hand.)
Joan: Hold it, queen of the Nile. I'm not alone.
(Joan looks over her shoulder and winks. Camera focuses on Cleo's bunk. Matt crawls out from under it wearing a big grin.)
Matt: (monstrous female voice) Evil! Beware!
Joan: I provided the look. Matt provided the voice.
Cleo: You're a fool, Of Arc. From what I've heard from you, Abe and the rest of your friends, he would have begun changing into a monster again if I had screamed and we would both be dead.
(Matt reaches to his ears and pulls out a pair of earplugs.)
Matt: These earplugs were really effective, Joan. I couldn't hear a thing.
Joan: You can keep them, Matt. I don't need them anymore now that I'm not an insomniac anymore. They'll help you control your transformations if your urges ever overcome you.
Matt: Thanks, Joan. I'd better be going back to my cave. The stuff Abe gave to me is right outside the window. See you tomorrow.
(Matt walks toward the window past a smiling Joan. He stops at the stunned Cleo.)
Matt: Heed this warning, (bleep!). Should you do anything to harm to Joan, be prepared to face my wrath. And mark my words, I won't be wearing the earplugs. So if I turn into a monster again, it will be your fault. Ta- ta, Joan!
Joan: Bye Matt!
(Matt then leaps out the window. After a few moments, the sound of a loud splat is heard.)
Matt: (off screen) Don't worry! I only broke one arm! I'll be fine!
(Scene shifts to the interior of the pit where the Shadowy Figures are being held. The ice has melted but more of the black goop still covers them. Camera is focused on the Head Shadowy Figure (HSF). His eyelids start to flutter as he wakes.)
HSF: What happened?
(Camera focuses on the other Shadowy Figures who have started to stir as well. Camera focuses back on the HSF.)
HSF: What is this stuff?
(He takes a whiff of it. He reacts in disgust.)
HSF: Bat guano? Ech!
(They all start to brush off the bat guano. Then they notice their predicament.)
HSF: Fellow Shadowy Figures, it appears that we are in a dire situation. Only one person could have done this: Scudworth! Clever of him to lead us into the flash freezer in a conga line. My only weakness. Now he's disposed of us in this pit and probably working on that island amusement park of his with our clones! If we ever get out of this, I swear we'll make him pay.
(Then the voice of Matt is heard from above.)
Matt: (off screen) Oh, don't I hate it when someone else gets credit for something another person has done.
(The Shadowy Figures look up and gasp. Camera shifts to their point of view. They see Matt standing at the edge of the pit. He is wearing an evil grin.)
Matt: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that this pit was the bats' bathroom. Oh wait. I did! (laughs)
HSF: Matt Frankenclone! We've been looking for you for months! Where have you been?
Matt: I've been staying around this town keeping an eye on your little experiments, you fiends!
(The Shadowy Figures reach for things in their pockets.)
Matt: Don't bother! Before you woke up, I removed all your weapons and communication devices to ensure that you have no means of escape. This pit has been lined with barbed wire.
HSF: Why are doing this, Matt? Haven't we been like fathers to you?
Matt: Father? What kind of father would force his child to watch horror movies every waking moment of his life which would eventually breed an instinct to terrify everyone around him? You created me just to be your cash cow and a monster. In doing so, you have nearly deprived me of all that is decent and innocent. Well, no more! You're my prisoners now! You shall not use my friends and fellow clones for your own evil purposes. We may not be natural human beings. But that doesn't mean you can treat us like your own personal property!
HSF: You've been interacting with the other clones? Do you realize how dangerous that could be?
Matt: The only danger threatening the clones is you. And I intend to keep it contained!
HSF: Whatever you do to us, Matt, it won't surprise us at all. We haven't kept you under glass for sixteen years and there's nothing about you that we don't know about.
Matt: Hmm. How about five barrels of cockroaches?
(Matt indicates the barrels next to him.)
HSF: Okay, maybe we don't know about that.
Matt: I got this idea from watching fear factor. As one of my clonefathers Boris Karloff so eloquently said, brace yourself for terror.
HSF: If you scare us, you risk activating your monstrous transformation.
Matt: I'm aware of that. And that's why I have these.
(Matt holds out his hand and shows the earplugs.)
Matt: Little present from my friend, Joan of Arc.
(Matt puts the earplugs into his ears and lets out a maniacal laugh. He rips a lid off one of the barrels and picks it up. He tips the barrel over the side of the pit spilling a multitude of cockroaches into the pit. Camera focuses on the Shadowy Figures screaming as the cockroaches rain down on them. Camera shifts back to Matt laughing.)
Matt: Scream all you want, Shadowy Figures! I can't hear you!
(Matt laughs as the scene fades out.)