Lauren: Hi! Wow...new chapter in the middle of the week! I am so proud of myself! I've been so busy lately...ick. Wednesday is my ONLY free day, besides homework. All other days I'm swamped with after school activities and homework. Latin dancing twice a week, driver's ed twice a week, anime club once a week, German club fundraisers, baby sitting once a week, spirit group on Sunday, confirmation class on Sunday, AND homework. TOO MUCH! It could make one go insane! So today when I got home I did my homework fast and was like "I want to write. I'm going to write!" And I did it! I wrote this chapter! And I had to TIME to write it with more to spare! JOY! RAPTURE! Now I'll just try to forget about my projects at school. I failed my written permit test. =_= I'm retaking it on Monday so wish me luck! On another note, Karo Kano was REALLY good but the ending sort of sucked. It would have been good to end it on episode 24 but no, they didn't. It like just ENDED. There, boom, end, all done! And the last episode didn't even focus on the main characters that much. They leave cliffhangers, more possibilities for more episodes and situations. They raise new problems and developments but they don't complete them! ARGH! I heard that the company that makes the series ran out of money to make the rest because the manga does finish the series off. *sigh* I suppose I shall never know. But the rest of the series is really good; it has many aspects of many different situations in real life. I recommend it. Ok, on to the reviews! I'll stop rambling on!
Wizardess Gal- Don't worry, Kagome will eventually meet Kouga! So please don't smite me! If you do then this story will never be finished because I'll be dead!
Demon Blade- Wahahaha...and now, my friend, your question about the nuthouse will be answers in the upcoming chapters!
Holly- Read on and your question will be answered! XD! Ha-ha! Answers are popping up everywhere! It's like they're breeding!
narcoleptic shishkabob- I love your pen name! Very cool! And yeah, I'm a poet. I don't know if I'm any good but I am! If you want to read any of my poems, just go to my main fan fiction.net page under my pen name (Skittles) and I have a bunch of them there.
B-chan- No problem! You rock! I'm not totally sure how much the shipping for my Inuyasha movie was because I also ordered the KaroKano series WITH it. But if you order it from discountanimedvd.com and you live in the USA, the shipping is $5.00. If you don't live in the USA then it's $8.00- that is, if you only order the Inuyasha movie. Hope that helped!
Eike- Hey, it's okay! My mistake. To be truthful, I really like the Japanese version of Inuyasha WAY better than the dubbed. I hate some of the dubbed voices. The episodes you ordered are REALLY good. ^_~ I got to watch it all because I snagged it off of a friend, who has my Inuyasha movie right now! I feel so incomplete without it by my side! They show the American version though on Cartoon Network, Saturday starting at 11:00 PM.
Asilin- Of course we can share Bernard!! It can be like, joint ownership! =D
Tori- Wow, that's the first death threat I've ever had. I promise not to stop this fic so that I can keep on living! I'm glad you're an Inuyasha junkie now. You've come to the dark side! Oh and the whole Kagome's grandfather thing, it's called irony. Hehe!
Emily- I hope this chapter makes you happy! ^_~
TheFool- STRAWBERRY MOCHI SOUNDS GOOD! Gah...I love it and I haven't had it in forever! Curses! You've made me hungry! I know! I'll have a.....*dun dun DUN* KLONDIK BAR!!!! *sings* What would you do for a Klondik bar? Ok, all done scaring off my reviewers.
Nytshad- I'd have to agree with you on what you said. Thank you! ^_^
the hAPpiLyINsanE angeredfairy- Don't worry, there is still plenty more that must happen! I wouldn't just end it there! Jeez, this fic is getting longer than I anticipated, not that that's a bad thing.
Ryu- Aww...thank you! And it's not your duty but I appreciate it a lot! Yeah, Suncoast wouldn't have the Inuyasha movie. You have to buy it imported. I love Suncoast but they're really expensive! All the anime is coming out on DVD's and their DVD's are like $29.99 and I can't spend THAT much! Especially since that's the price for only FOUR episodes. V_V;; But I still love the store! I want to work there one day! Discounts!
liz3386- HA! Naraku SHOULD be a patient, not the boss!! That would be hilarious...! Here's the latest chapter that I spit up! (Ew...now it's all slimy...!!)
Ruby- Aww...thank you so much! *hugs* If I ever do need any help with writer's block or something of the sort, I'll be sure to email you. If anyone ever wants to chat, my AIM screen name is: StarSkittles87 Just make sure to tell me who you are! =P!
Thank you again and enjoy! (I swear...even the review notes keep breeding and getting longer!)
~*~ Where Did You Go? ~*~
~By: Lauren~
-Chapter 12-
"A Bit of Happiness"
Kagome turned, staring into Inuyasha's eyes as a single tear dribbled down her cheek slowly. Her entire boy trembled- it felt as if she were on fire. Every part of her tingled as her hands clung onto Inuyasha's shirt. Was this what she had been reduced to? A shaking, scared lonely girl who latched onto a man's shirt for support? She had always told herself when no one believed her that she was independent and always on her own. She had convinced herself that she needed nobody, especially a man. She had lost her hope in humanity and her world had turned into a living hell. She hated this place- this earth. Often she would wonder what was out there for her. Her answer was nothing. Nothing but pain. A darkened path because she was not like them.
"I am not like them. I'm different from everyone. I'm just a shadow of the world. A lost soul. They don't even know I exist. But I can't blame them. I'm only an illusion. An illusion of a lost girl. I know no one...and no one knows me. Who am I? I don't even know myself. I've lost myself over all these years. All I know is my name- Kagome. But what is in a name? What does it mean?" She thought to herself before realization dawned on her. "How did I allow him to know me? How did he help me find who I was- who I am? How could a man love an illusion?" These thoughts of hers were stopped abruptly as she felt something warm press against her cheek.
Inuyasha smiled tenderly at her as he brushed her tear away with his thumb.
Kagome looked into his eyes and she swore she became lost in them. They held so much emotion- so many feelings- all directed at her. For her.
Hope.
Innocence.
Courage.
Fear.
Anticipation.
Joy.
Somewhere, Kagome could sense a ting of pain and sorrow.
Then, that's when she saw it.
Love.
For her. All of this was for her. Kagome. She was crazy and yet...someone still believed her. Believed in her. He was there for her. He would support her when she needed support. He would be there when she needed to be straightened out. He would hold her while she cried for all she was worth. He would whisper words of encouragement to her. He would always believe what she says. He was everything that Kagome had not had for years. Everything she needed. He had helped her when no one else would even look at her. He showed her kindness. With his big smile and his even bigger heart, he had given her hope. And she knew- even if this man were to leave her one day- she wouldn't mind all that much because he had given her so much of him. She would always cherish the short time they had spent together. Then, little by little, Kagome began to feel human again. She even smiled and it felt so strange, so foreign. She didn't even recognize herself but gradually, she didn't really mind.
"What are you doing?" A voice spoke up, causing Inuyasha to push Kagome away roughly. Naraku stood with his eyebrow raised, scolding at the pair. Shippo and Miroku stood behind him, occasionally peering over his shoulders.
"I was subduing the patient." Inuyasha replied quickly after he found a suitable excuse for his actions. If his boss or coworkers ever saw him hugging his patient like that he would surely be taken off her case or face a far worse punishment.
"Take her to her cell. Afterwards I need to have a word with you Inuyasha." Naraku said before turning and stomping out of the garden.
Kagome looked down at the ground. She knew Inuyasha had to push her away but...it still had hurt a tiny bit. She smiled as she caught a glimpse of Miroku and Shippo.
Miroku shook his head. He swore he had just had the weirdest sense of deja vu. Ignoring the feeling, he smirked at Inuyasha who was now helping Kagome to her feet. "Ah, so now the doctor can't keep his hands off of the patients. I see my training is finally working on you."
Inuyasha snorted. "Yeah right, you only wish. Oh and...don't you have a date with Sango that was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago?"
"CRAP!" Miroku cursed under his breath.
Kagome chuckled. Same old Miroku. It was good to see them all- no, it was wonderful. And Miroku was dating Sango! That made it all the better. "It's nice to see you again." She muttered to Shippo and Miroku. "Tell Sango I said hello and that I look forward to meeting you again Miroku."
Miroku blinked. Hadn't he just met her only a moment ago? And how did she know his name? Shrugging it off, he asked, "Whom should I tell Sango the message is from?"
"An old friend." Kagome smiled warmly at Shippo who cowered behind Miroku. It took him every ounce of strength to keep from running and hugging this strange woman. For some odd reason the words 'mother' and 'friend' kept popping into his mind when he looked at her.
Miroku nodded politely and turned, dragging Shippo with him out of the gardens. He would have hell to pay when he faced Sango.
~*~
Inuyasha smiled down at Kagome as he unlocked her cell door, opening it up to let her in. Hopefully soon he would be able to talk to her. He could help her so that she could be passed as sane and then be released from the clinic.
"Until I get you out of here, we need to keep this our little secret. Since I'm your doctor, I'll be pretty easy for me to dub you cured. Remember that we're only a doctor and a patient. Nothing more." He lectured Kagome. If word of this got out...he could lose his job and his head. But he was willing to risk that. He was willing to risk everything for this one, single girl that, for some reason, his heart swelled up with love for.
Kagome nodded as sleep and weariness finally set in. She had barely recovered from her fever and after running around all over the place she was tired. "Patient and doctor...got it. Lemme...sleep now. Night..." Kagome fell right to sleep as soon as her head hit her pillow. The long day had worn her out and Inuyasha didn't know how she had stayed energetic at all. For a moment, fear crept up his spine. He knew she would be punished for trying to escape.
Pushing the eerie feeling out of his mind he sat down on the chair next to her bed. He reached forward, brushing a strand of raven hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. Kagome moved, snuggling into her sheets and murmuring Inuyasha's name. He smiled, blushing. He was there in her dreams and she knew he was there too in reality, for she reached out and latching onto his hand that was resting next to hers. He wished that things could forever stay like they were at that very moment, but he knew reality has no mercy.
"I owe her my life." Inuyasha thought to himself. "As weird at that sounds...I do. She helped me to realize there's more to life than work. And...I love her. She's so very precious to me." He sighed. "But that doesn't change the fact that one day I might break her heart. God, I don't want to but it's not that easy to instantly redeem a patient safe and sane. When we were in the garden...it felt like it was only us there. That nothing else mattered. Why can't things just stay like that forever? Sometimes I almost believe they can. Her almost cheerful energy is infectious to me. Her smile is becoming so bright that it lights up even her own dim room. It even reaches my heart and I can feel it- soft and warm- like something tangible, chasing away the pain. It makes me realize how much I need her. And I consider the future, almost hoping that she'll still want me when this is all over. I want to think that we can be happy together. And then I remember that it can never be like that. I'm her psychiatrist, I can't be her love.
But a person needs their dreams. She needs something to hold onto or else she may never get out of the clinic.
Aren't I entitled to a few things to hold onto as well? Aren't I entitled to dream as well?
My mother used to tell me to never have sad eyes. To always seek happiness for the ones I care about and me. After she died...I always had sad eyes. Eventually, I grew used to them and consumed myself with work to hide my sorrow and forget about it all. Then, years later, I was assigned to her. Kagome. Gradually, my sad eyes disappeared. But sometimes...those sad eyes come back. Of course, I can't let Kagome see them. I could never do that to her. She needs to believe that things will work out. That wishes are granted. That fairy tales come true. People live happily ever after.
If she can believe, then, maybe I can, too.
For a little while, at least.
Kagome's drooling now. She didn't believe it when I told her, but it's true. She drools in her sleep sometimes. I try not to laugh because I don't want to wake her but I allow myself a small smile. It's the little moments like these when I think that maybe my life isn't so bad after all. In fact, life is pretty damn good. I have a home, a job, and now...a girl who loves me.
I've got it all, right?" Inuyasha suddenly remembered Naraku wanted to see him. He sighed. "Tomorrow will be another busy day. I need to get some sleep also. I haven't been sleeping well lately...every night it's more and more memories, not that I don't mind." He looked down at Kagome's sleeping figure. "She's changing more and more each day. She knew the pains of the world so much but once she was put into these asylums and clinics...they began to fade because she had a lack of human contact and those feelings were replaced with hatred. The harsh realities of life are starting to make themselves known to her once again.
You can't solve everyone's problems. Fairy tales are just stories. Lovers leave.
Wouldn't it be easier if she could just stay like this forever? Safe, happy and loved?"
The door of Kagome's cell swung open as Kouga stepped inside. "Stop playin' around with the patients and get up to boss's room. He wants to see you pronto." He smirked at Inuyasha's pained expression.
"Shut up." Inuyasha growled as he left Kagome's side. That was why he had the pained expression to begin with. He didn't want to leave her sleeping side. Her hand slowly slipped from his and fell limply onto the bed.
"Make me." Kouga sneered as he locked Kagome's cell up and led Inuyasha down the hallway. "After what that girl pulled I'd be surprised if she ever was released from this place."
"Go to hell Kouga." And with those last words, Inuyasha wandered up to Naraku's office. He would do whatever he could to help Kagome.
"Ah...my dear Inuyasha." Naraku cracked his knuckles before he quickly shut off an old Sailor Moon midi file that he had playing.
"What do you want?" Inuyasha snapped, rubbing his tired eyes.
"Don't be so cocky. I want to discuss with you your patient- Kagome H-" But Naraku was quickly cut off.
"Just spit it out." Inuyasha bit his lip, waiting to hear Kagome's punishment but what he heard surprised him.
"You have had no progress with her. In fact, in my eyes, it appears as if she is actually getting worse. I believe that this is your fault. I heard from a...source...that you were actually falling for her tall tales." Naraku leaned back in his chair, watching Inuyasha like a hawk.
"That's bullshit!!" Inuyasha growled, clenching his fists angrily.
"Do NOT interrupt me." Naraku hissed before calming down. "You are incompetent to be her doctor. I warned you before that she was a dangerous case. She's manipulative and she wrapped you around her finger. I believed that you, of all men, would be able to handle her but I suppose I was wrong."
"That's not true!!" Inuyasha threw his arms into the air, wanting to punch his boss in the face but resisting for the sake of his job and any chance of helping Kagome. "I know for a fact that you hid her real files away on that crappy computer of yours! If ANYONE in this building is manipulative, it is YOU!!!"
"Are you saying you broke into my office and read her files?" Naraku crossed his arms.
"N-no." Inuyasha lied. "But something isn't right. This isn't fair!"
"No one ever said the world was fair, Inuyasha. I thought you of all people would understand that too. That girl is in this clinic for her own safety and you are harming that. You are messing with this whole operation!! And that is why...I'm taking you off of her case. In fact, in a few days I believe she is being transported to a new...location." Naraku smirked.
Inuyasha roared. "Y-YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!" He picked up some papers that were sitting on Naraku's desk and flung them angrily across the room.
Naraku merely sat there, smirking with his arms crossed while the papers fluttered down to settle on the floor. "I believe I just did."
~*~
Kagome was floating in darkness. The same familiar black void as before.
"Hello?" She muttered, listening to her own voice echo through the emptiness.
"I'm sorry young one. Our conversation was cut short last time because of...outside reasons." The enchanting voice from before spoke to her, causing her eyes to wander to find the source of the noise.
"Are you the same 'higher up' as before?" Kagome questioned.
"Yes..." It answered. "I need to speak with you on an urgent matter. I need to finish what was not complete before..."